It was now the evening, the sun was beginning to set over the city walls in the west, and Leonardo was beside himself with worry. He could see no reason for Ezio to be taking so long to return that didn't end with him being in a jail cell or worse. He prayed that this was not the case; at least if he was in a cell then Leonardo could make a feeble attempt to bribe a guard or break him out…
All day he had been stealing glances at the street outside, or making excuses to himself that caused him to go outside. He never strayed far from the door for fear of missing him. If things had indeed gone badly today for some reason then Ezio would need someone to comfort him, unless he had already gone somewhere with his family without saying goodbye.
"He wouldn't leave without saying goodbye." Leonardo said to himself. He was standing by his desk, clinging to the sides of the tale to hold in the tears that his fears wanted him to cry.
There was a knock at the door. A rapid, urgent banging like a criminal seeking sanctuary within holy walls. Through the glass Leonardo could make out a tall silhouette that was already familiar to him. He quickly shook himself, trying to regain his composure and went to the door as the thumping continued. He daren't breathe relief for fear of the news that may come, for he knew enough about the corruption in the legal and political systems of Firenze to be aware that being alive and not imprisoned was still not the same as being free or safe.
As soon as he opened the door Ezio threw himself onto the man in the doorway. He clung to his lover in a way that did not indicate romance or affection; it was clearly to Leonardo from the tight, desperate hold Ezio had on him that something very, very bad had just occurred.
But he did not ask for information, he did not speak; he didn't make a single noise. He just backed up enough to allow the door to close and then returned the embrace as much as he could without restricting Ezio's breathing. Leonardo himself was finding it a little difficult to breathe in, but to just give this young man a little security he was more than willing to feel light-headed for a while.
Ezio was not crying, but he was breathing heavily as if he had run for miles. Leonardo slackened his grip and changed to rubbing Ezio's back with his arms still in a gentle hug. After a few minutes he seemed to calm down, inhaling deeper and slower, but still he would not let go. It was almost as if he was afraid that if he let go then he would disappear, Leonardo thought.
This was precisely how Ezio felt. For in just a few minutes he had lost three people he had never believed he could live without. His father and brothers were all dead, and there was nothing that Ezio could do about this. He kept replaying the scene in his head and asking questions. What if he had arrived just a little sooner? What if he had never given those documents to the gonfaloniere? What if he'd done as told a little sooner yesterday when they were arrested? He could have put up more of a fight, he could have helped, he could have done more than just stand there as they hung from a rope.
Ezio had been running and trying to hide for what seemed like hours, and the only place he could think of that could be safe was here with Leonardo. He felt almost like a child running to its mother, Leonardo would make him safe, Leonardo would make it all better. Even though he knew that not even Leonardo had a way to pierce the veil into the afterlife, just having someone to cling, and someone to hold him tight, made the realm outside seem a little further away, and right now he just wanted to the rest of the world to disappear and let him rest in sweet darkness, let him forget everything.
"Ezio… Maybe you should lie down. Come to my room, I'll get you a drink."
He couldn't take in what Leonardo was saying; he just let himself be led to a bed and lain down. Although he could see Leonardo, and hear when he spoke, he only seemed to be truly real when he could feel him. It was as if the trauma of the day's events caused all but one of his senses to shut down, or else that his mind was refusing to take in all but the most essential information for fear of something happening that could make him break down further. Ezio wasn't sure he could break any further at this moment.
As Leonardo got up to get some water, Ezio still clung to his hand, not protesting his actions but still refusing to let him go. If he let Leonardo go then he'd be like everyone else, just a passing blur in the panicked blur of grief in Ezio's mind.
"Ezio, please, let me get you something to drink. You look exhausted. Please, just rest. I'll be back in just a moment. I promise." As he said this he squeezed Ezio's hand, as if given a physical confirmation to the words he was saying. And Ezio loosened his grip, letting Leonardo remove his hand from being held. But rather than just leaving, Leonardo sat back down next to him and lifted his head from the pillow. He pulled Ezio towards him and untied the bow of ribbon keeping his hair back in that small ponytail. He then slowly placed him back down and stroked Ezio's cheek for a whole, softly and slowly. As he did this Ezio felt again for a hand to hold. When he found one he opened his mouth and in a hoarse voice began to speak.
"They're dead. All three of them are dead. My father, Federico and Petruccio. Even Petruccio, he was only thirteen years old. What the hell could he have done wrong, he barely ever left his bed…"
Leonardo felt a strange kind of sympathy for Ezio. He had never lost anyone so close to him like this, so he had no way of knowing the pain he was going through right now. It was hard to know how to help someone when you've no idea what they're going through.
Ezio's eyes were swimming with tears. He wasn't crying, not properly. He was quietly whimpering like a lost puppy, as if he could only let his sadness out bit by bit. He turned onto his side so that the hand Leonardo had been stroking his face with was between his head and the bed. Every so often Leonardo felt a drop land on his wrist and with every tear he himself came closer to crying.
"Oh, Ezio…" It was all he could think to say. Every time he tried to form a string of words to comfort him they disappeared, for they never seemed to be enough. For what do you say to someone whose world is falling down around him? He abandoned thoughts of going to get anything; instead he kicked his shoes off and curled up on the bed with his lover. Ezio faced the far away wall and Leonardo faced Ezio, pushing his arm through under him so that he could pull him closer. He felt Ezio hold his arms as he wrapped them around Ezio's waist. Everything was silent except for their breathing. It was, Leonardo thought, a strange thing that they had been in a similar situation the night before, except then the energy had been heavy and hot, whereas now things could not be more different. Ezio was fragile and so hurt, and Leonardo was going to protect him from anything else that could cause him any more pain. Nobody was going to harm his Ezio, not without paying a most dear price.
"Ezio… I wish I could take you from this hell and let you forget how sadness feels. I'm sorry that I can't."
Well... we all knew it was going to happen. This was difficult to write. I really hope I got this write. Expect more sooner than my previous updates have been, because I've got no plans of ending this any time soon.