A/N: As always, thanks for the continued reviews. They do help keep the inspiration engine running. After a couple of rather heavy chapters, I felt like lightening the atmosphere a little. Advances the relationship a little, but is mostly fluffy fluff fluff. Pink and fluffy, even. LOL. Or your pastel color of choice. My mp3 player provided the selections for Kelly's music. And I do the same thing she does. Heh. I really hope you enjoy this chapter.
Disclaimer: I do not own or operate "The Closer."
Chapter 10: A Natural Woman
"He lawyered up the second I got him in the room, so I just sent him packing to wait on the arraignment. I don't want him to plead guilty. Special circumstances won't apply," Brenda said the next morning. "The D.A. has enough evidence to send three of him to prison. So I just wasn't interested in getting a confession. It's locked up."
"That's a good feeling," Kelly said.
"It surely is," Brenda agreed. "Do we want to wait until Friday to go out again?"
"Yeah, that works," said Provenza. "Means even old geezers like me can stay out a little late." Everyone laughed at that.
"It is so good to have a quiet day for a change," Kelly said. "I have a ton of paperwork, and if we can stay out of a murder case for a couple of days, I can actually get caught up on it! Wouldn't that be something?"
Sanchez nodded. "Oh, yeah. I don't know what 'caught up on paperwork' looks like, though. Never happens to me."
"Well, I'm putting on my earphones so I can work, so if anything happens, poke me," Kelly said. She put a set of hot pink earphones on and plugged them into her phone. She started a program on her computer and shortly, her fingers were flying across the keys.
Andy looked over at her. "How does she type that fast?" he said.
Mike laughed. "English major. How do you think she wrote all those papers in college without being able to do that?"
Andy shrugged. "Didn't think of that." He sighed. "I'd better do the same thing and justify my paycheck until somebody else freaks out and we get another case." He turned to his keyboard, but since his typing largely consisted of a two-finger hunt and peck method, his progress was much slower.
Even with a couple of false alarms that Robbery/Homicide ended up handling, the remainder of the week was quiet, although the Major Crimes crew had a chance to laugh a lot at Kelly. When she wore her headphones for a while, she would unconsciously start singing along with the music. It wasn't loud, but Gabriel and Tao had a competition going to see who could Google the song lyrics and come up with the name of the song first.
Kelly found out about it once when she removed an earbud to answer her desk phone and heard Mike say, "Got it! 'Love is Just a Game' by Larry Gatlin!" Kelly turned to look at him and took the phone call. When she hung up, she looked at her phone. Sure enough, that was the song she had been listening to. When she got really involved in her work, sometimes she didn't even know what song was playing. "What gives?" she asked Mike. He grinned at her and went back to his computer.
"You sing," Andy said. "We wanted to know what you were singing."
Comprehension dawned and Kelly screwed up her face. "Shoot!" she said. "I know I'm apt to do that. I'm sorry I was bothering you guys." She looked over at Andy. "Why didn't you tell me?"
He grinned. "It was funny."
She pointed at him. "I'm gonna get you," she said, prompting an even larger grin.
Mike looked at his google search history. "You have some eclectic tastes in music. We caught Duran Duran, the Beatles, the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, Larry Gatlin and someone I couldn't identify. Something about 'Dear old sunny south.'"
"That was Jimmie Rodgers, the Singing Brakeman. Look him up and get a history lesson. I really am sorry I've bothered you. I honestly don't realize I'm doing it, so please tap me on the shoulder and tell me to hush. O.K.?"
"As long as you don't start singing some hillbilly crap, it's all right," Andy said.
"Hillbilly crap? Like bluegrass? Don't be dissing bluegrass!" she exclaimed.
"Who's dissing bluegrass?" Brenda said, as she came into the room.
"Andy was calling it hillbilly crap," Kelly said.
Brenda looked indignantly at him. "Lieutenant! Open up your mind! Bluegrass is a legitimate American art form. I'm sorry they don't use screaming guitars, but the music is wonderful." She flounced into her office.
Andy was stunned. How in the hell had he gotten yelled at when he didn't even do anything? Kelly looked at him with a smug grin. "Serves you and your smart mouth right," she said.
"Well, since you don't want to hear my smart mouth, me and Provenza are gonna go to lunch!"
"That's 'Provenza and I,' Lieutenant, and you just go right ahead. Have fun. Write if you find work."
He grabbed his coat and left the murder room. Kelly heard him mutter, "Frickin' know it all and that frickin' English degree of hers." She laughed. Life with Andrew Flynn was never dull, for certain.
Brenda popped her head out of her office. "Want to go to lunch somewhere civilized?"
Kelly grinned. "Sure. Somewhere the food doesn't come out of a wrapper and they have metal utensils on the table."
"Just what I was thinking," Brenda answered. "How about that soul food place?"
"Oh yeah. I am about to die for some decent peas and cornbread. Field peas with a hamhock the size of my fist in them. Yum," Kelly said.
Sanchez looked around. "Can I go? That sounds good."
"What, peas with hamhock?" said Kelly.
"Yeah. Sounds a little like how my Abuelita cooked black beans."
"Come along," Brenda said.
Sanchez was raving over the food at the restaurant to the rest of the crew. "I didn't know you could batter and fry pork chops! Oh, they were delicious!"
"Take it easy on those pork chops," Kelly warned. "You'll make yourself sick. But since you liked the peas so much, remind me and I'll cook a pot one night and bring you some with cornbread."
"You can cook peas like that?" He was incredulous.
"Of course. I just usually don't think about it. But I'll cook some just for you, Julio," she said.
"Sounds good to me, too," Andy said.
Kelly looked over at him. "I cook ham with peas. You don't eat meat."
He looked a little hurt. "Could you cook some without the ham?" he asked.
"They won't taste the same, but I'll make the attempt," she answered.
"O.K.," was all he said. But he knew Kelly wasn't too upset with him when she ruffled his hair as she walked by his desk.
It was Friday and once again, O'Malley's was rocking and the Major Crimes crew was celebrating. Fritz even came along with Brenda this time.
Andy turned to Kelly. "You thirsty? I'm going to the bar to get a cranberry and seltzer."
"That sounds good. Get one for me, too, please," she answered. He got up to get the drinks.
Brenda elbowed her. "Looks like things are moving right along with you and Andy," she said.
Kelly nodded. "Yep. He really is such a sweetheart."
Brenda snickered. "Sez you. I can name you a boatload of people who would tell you to your face that Andrew Flynn is the biggest, meanest SOB they've ever met."
Kelly chuckled. "Oh, I know. But they don't feel like I do about him."
"Kelly, are you in love?"
She tilted her head. "Maybe. I think I am. It sounds so cliché, but I've never felt like this about anyone. I mean, I've really liked guys, but Andy, gosh. When he walks by, I just have to smile. He makes me feel so good about myself."
"It shows. I think you're so good for him, too. You really cheer him on in staying sober and you expect him to live up to his obligations, not let you down. He's just seemed a lot more – content – since you two started dating. Just more settled and, oh, well Fritz says Andy's more comfortable in his skin, now. I guess that's something it takes another man to notice."
"I don't believe in playing head games and he doesn't either. He's completely honest, which is totally annoying, but also very refreshing. He told me the other day I was wearing too much black, and was I in mourning for somebody?"
Brenda laughed. "I never realized he noticed that much."
"Well, you know what a natty dresser he is. Always looks like the cover of 'GQ.' He just has great taste in clothes and he notices what women wear. He's way too 'oo-rah' to be a real metrosexual, but he does have his moments."
That got a real giggle. "So what did you tell him when he said you were wearing too much black?"
"I told him black was easier to keep clean and to hush up."
"That's the other thing. He doesn't intimidate you one bit. You stand up to him, toe-to-toe, and I'm telling you, it's funny sometimes."
Kelly laughed. "I'm sure it is." She turned to see Andy walking toward the table, looking pissed. Walking with him was a gorgeous blonde. Kelly poked Brenda. "It's the Barracuda!" she said.
"Who, Andy's second ex?" Brenda put on her glasses. "Oh my Lord. You're right! But Andy looks none too happy about it."
"He'd better look none too happy, because I sure ain't," Kelly growled.
"Shall we be perfectly cool Southern ladies?" Brenda asked.
"Oh yes, I think so," Kelly replied, glad beyond words that she had a partner in crime on this one. The Barracuda was about to get a surprise.
Andy placed Kelly's drink in front of her. "There you are," he said and sighed.
Kelly smiled brilliantly at him. "Why thank you, sugar!" she said, sounding exactly like Vivien Leigh in "Gone with the Wind." "You are so good to me." She looked over to Brenda. "Isn't he just wonderful, Brenda Leigh?"
"Oh, he surely is, Kelly! You are such a lucky girl!"
"I know it!"
The rest of the crew, especially Andy, looked a little gobsmacked at this exchange. Fritz was the only one who had a clue what was going on, but he knew when to keep his mouth shut. Andy wasn't sure what was up, but had a feeling a conspiracy had been hatched in the 30 seconds it took him to walk to the table.
"Um, Kelly, this is Chloe Duncan, my um, ex-wife. Chloe, this is Detective Kelly Hargrove. You've met Chief Johnson and the rest," he said, sitting beside Kelly with the same look that those about to face the firing squad wear. Kelly squeezed his hand under the table. She and Brenda Leigh could handle this just fine. Provenza was looking disgusted. Chloe Duncan was a fine-looking woman, but he knew what she was like. Not interested.
"It is so nice to meet you, Chloe!" Kelly exclaimed. "I have heard so much about you!"
"Where are you from, anyway? I mean, that – accent and everything," she said with a grimace. Charming personality, Kelly thought.
"Huntsville, Alabama. Have you ever been to Alabama?"
"No way," the Barracuda replied, disgustedly.
"What a shame. Isn't that shame, Brenda Leigh?"
Brenda actually clicked her tongue. "It certainly is. And she would be so popular with the gentlemen there, too! A lovely woman like her! She wouldn't be so, what is the word I'm looking for, Kelly?
Kelly grinned maliciously. "Overshadowed, I believe, Brenda Leigh."
"That's it! Overshadowed. My little ol' brain just couldn't come up with such a big word!" said the Georgetown graduate. "You are so smart! Anyway, you wouldn't be quite so overshadowed there, Chloe. I mean, what with all the really gorgeous women in Hollywood, it's got to be so difficult for even a pretty girl to get noticed by a man!"
Fritz shook his head. He knew a battle royal when he saw one. This was going to be Gettysburg all over again, except this time around, the South was going to win hands down.
Andy was bemused. He had expected fireworks, but this was completely new territory. He felt like crawling in a hole when the Barracuda corralled him at the bar and insisted on walking back with him. What was her game, anyway? Surely she didn't want him back. He didn't want her, he knew. But Brenda and Kelly had something cooked up between them and something told him to stay strictly out of it.
Fritz looked over at Andy. "Hey, Flynn! Guess I'm gettin' old. Let's go outside for a minute and give our eardrums a rest. I want to ask you something about the Starman case."
Andy grabbed the lifeline. "Sure, man. Yeah, my ears are ringing."
The men got up and went to the patio where the smokers were. "What the hell is going on in there, Fritz?" Andy said. "I've never heard Kelly or the chief talk or act like that!"
Fritz laughed. "I know. It's a little scary. It's bad enough when you've got a Southern woman saying hands off her man, but when she's got a friend backing her up, it's ugly. Chloe has no idea what she's up against. What they're going to do is very sweetly insult Chloe until she runs out of there with her tail between her legs. I just figured neither one of us needed to be there. It won't take too long."
"I still don't get it."
"Look at it as the most exclusive sorority on earth. These women were born doing this. It's a sisterhood. Basically, they want to spare you the awkwardness of having to tell Chloe to hit the road. So, they're going to do it. They enjoy it. We're better off out here, believe me."
"Sounds like it." He shook his head.
Back inside, Gabriel and Sanchez were looking on at the exchange, open-mouthed. Provenza was enjoying himself thoroughly.
"So, Kelly, you and Andy are seeing each other?"
"It's just been a whirlwind! But you know how he is. Just sweeps a girl right off her feet! He's just the sweetest thing. Why, my pea-pickin' little heart just couldn't stand it!"
Chloe's eyes narrowed. Were they even talking about the same man? Brenda and Kelly saw her expression and grinned sweetly at each other.
That grin infuriated Chloe. Did this cow actually think Andy would look twice at her? With his appreciation of a fantastic body on a woman? And she thought she had anything to tempt him? Oh please. "Good thing he lifts weights if he swept you off your feet." There. That should put her in her place and let her know Andy was completely uninterested in her kind.
"Now aren't you cute?" That was Brenda. "Why Andy was saying just the other day how nice it was to have a woman he didn't have to fan the bedsheets to find!" Provenza nearly spit his beer out at that comment. These two were unquestionably lethal when they were together. Separately, they were bad enough, but when they teamed up, it was just scary.
"Did he say that, Brenda Leigh? Wasn't that cute? He says such cute things. He told me how he liked having a woman who felt like a woman in his arms, and not a bicycle frame with boobs. I about died laughing. I wouldn't be a lady if I told what else he said, but we'll just say it expressed his approval of women with curves."
Brenda giggled and poked Kelly's arm. "Did it have anything to do with cushion and pushing?"
"How did you guess?"
"I just know my lieutenant, that's all!" They giggled again.
Chloe was furious. These two witches were going to sit here and insult her all night. And Andy, that coward, had gone outside. Damn it!
"I guess I'll be going now. So nice to meet you." She rose.
"It was so nice! See you again real soon!" Kelly sang out.
"Toodle-oo, hon!" Brenda said. Chloe disappeared into the crowd.
Kelly raised her glass to Brenda. "To the Steel Magnolia Sisterhood!" she said in her normal voice.
"Amen, sister!" Brenda said and they drank.
Kelly got up. "You go tell the menfolks the coast is clear. I saw the Barracuda headed to the bathroom. I'm just about to go fix her little red wagon, but good!"
"Keep it legal," Brenda laughed as she walked toward the patio.
"O.K. Chief," Kelly said with a wink. She headed to the ladies room.
"What was that?" Gabriel said.
"That," Provenza said, "is why no man stands a dog's chance against a Southern woman, let alone two of them. They stick together like glue and god help the woman who does what the Barracuda just tried. Now, our lovable little detective is headed to the ladies room to tell the Barracuda to keep her paws off Lieutenant Andy Flynn, or there is gonna be ugliness."
Kelly entered the ladies room, and as she expected to, saw Chloe peering into the mirror at her reflection. "Still the fairest in all the land, Chloe?" she said.
Chloe whirled. "You! Why you fat cow! You and that skinny bitch you work with! You two just humiliated yourselves out there with those fake accents. Nobody thought it was funny, for your information."
"Yeah, right. Provenza was about to split a gut laughing."
"How can you possibly think you could be interesting to a man like Andy Flynn, anyway? I mean, you just work with him. God, if I'd known he was so desperate that he'd go to bed with you, I'd have called him months ago! I mean, how much does he have to drink before he can get it up for you?"
Kelly listened to this, arms folded, leaning against the sink. "If you're quite through," she replied, "Then let me enlighten you. He chased me. I didn't have to do anything. And he's still sober. Has been for 10 years. Actually, he gives you credit for his sobriety because he's truthful. Then he said he left because you were harder to tolerate when he was sober than when he was drunk." That was a low blow and Kelly knew it, but the "how drunk" line flew all over her.
Chloe raised a hand as if to slap Kelly.
"If that hand connects with anything but that counter top, I'm arresting you for assaulting a police officer," Kelly said. Chloe dropped her hand limply at her side.
"Now then, my dear," Kelly said, taking a step toward the woman. The disparity in their height didn't bother her in the least. "You divorced Andy about what, eight years ago? Well, you've had a lot of time to try to reconnect with him, but you didn't. Now that he's seeing someone, you suddenly want him back. Well guess what? You can't have him."
"I can't? I'll bet you I can."
"You'll lose that bet, Chloe. And you'll look like a desperate fool in the process. So here's the deal. You leave Andy Flynn strictly alone. You don't call him, you don't text him or e-mail him. He's moved on, and you need to do the same. You think I'm some little ignorant hick, I know. But I'm not, and if you persist in that line of thinking, it will be a serious miscalculation for you. You don't want any part of me. I don't know what's in the future for my relationship with Andy, but I'm not spending any part of it dealing with you. I don't want to get a restraining order on you, but I will if that's what it takes to get you out of my hair. So take the adult course of action and walk on out of here like a grown woman. Leave us alone and I guarantee I'll leave you alone."
Chloe was shocked. She had thought this detective was surely some hillbilly who thought she was the law from some redneck movie. She didn't expect any sort of intelligence or backbone like this woman had. And she was clearly not impressed in the least with Chloe. For now, all she could do was leave, but wait until little Miss Alabama went back home. Chloe would remind Andy why he was fascinated with her in the beginning. She swept out of the bathroom without another word and Kelly chuckled. But she knew it wasn't over with this woman. Andy was right. The Barracuda was a complete narcissist.
The guys were back at the table when Kelly came out. Andy stood, concern on his face, and Kelly slid into her spot beside Brenda.
"Well?" Brenda said.
"I told her what's what, but I'm afraid we ain't seen the last of Ernest T. Bass," Kelly answered.
"I was afraid of that," Brenda groused. "Well, just have to wait and see, I guess."
Kelly scooted close to Andy and patted his knee. "It's all right, sugar. I know who you're going home with tonight. And it ain't her."
Andy sighed, but his body relaxed and he put his arm around her shoulders. She leaned into him and smiled up at him. Chloe saw that from the bar and nearly went postal right then. She settled for slapping a ten on the bar and stalking out.
"Honey, are you ready to go?" Kelly asked Andy.
"Sure, if you are."
"Yeah. You following me to my place?"
He nodded. That worked. Kelly had plans for Lieutenant Andrew Flynn. They were plans she hadn't planned on putting into action quite so soon, but she felt the Barracuda's appearance made them a necessity.
They said their good nights and left the place, arm in arm.
When they got to her place, she let them in and as she locked the door, Andy pinned her against the front door with a deep kiss.
Kelly responded for just a moment, then, to his surprised, wriggled away from him. "Gracious, but you're impatient!" she said.
"It's Friday night. I can keep you up all night and we can sleep in tomorrow." He started toward her again.
"I'd like to powder my nose!" she said, and disappeared down the hall. He heard the bathroom door click shut.
"Dammit. Something's hatching in that head of hers," he said. He took his shoes and socks off and collapsed on to the sofa.
Something was indeed hatching. Kelly chuckled quietly as she took the products of a recent online purchase out of her linen closet and donned them. She brushed her hair out, applied some perfume and her very best cherry-red lipstick. She tiptoed into the bedroom and lit the candles she had placed around the room. Romantic. Then she walked softly into the den, where Andy was sitting, staring morosely into space.
"Penny for your thoughts, Lieutenant?" she said with a smirk.
He looked over at Kelly, standing in the doorway, and his mouth dropped open and went dry. "Uh" was all he could manage right then. She wore a red satin nightshirt looking sort of something that hit her about mid-thigh. It had a plunging, ruffled neckline and long sleeves with ruffles at the hems. The garment had side slits and as she turned, he could see something ruffled underneath. Her lipstick matched the nightshirt. And her smile was pure seduction. He stood.
"Well, come along, Lieutenant," Kelly said, crooking her finger at him. She started down the hall. Andy followed, feeling light-headed, since all his blood had suddenly rushed elsewhere. She went into her bedroom, and motioned him inside. It was candlelit and dim, but there was still enough light to see. "You're mighty quiet, Andy," she said.
He shrugged his shoulders. "Speechless?" he croaked. Her grin came back.
"Works for me. Now you just hold still," she answered. She came to him and began unbuttoning his shirt. He tried to help her, but she batted his hands away. "Stop that. This is my – project." He just nodded and allowed her to finish unbuttoning his shirt and slid it from his shoulders to the floor. Her hands went to the button on his jeans and she released it. She looked at him for a moment. The mat of hair on his chest was salt and pepper, rather like his hair, but it didn't matter. A man had no business being as purely sexy as Andy Flynn. She started for his zipper, then stopped and said, "Take off your jeans."
"Yes, ma'am," he said and complied. He didn't know exactly what she had in mind, but whatever it was, he was all for it.
Kelly admired the view of Andy in those black boxer-briefs. She raised her hand and stroked her thumb across his lips and then down his jaw. She pointed to the bed and inclined her head toward it. She didn't have to say a word. Andy lay down on the bed, never taking his eyes off Kelly. She grinned again at him, crawled on to the bed and sat with a knee on either side of him. She leaned forward and kissed him, keeping his hands pinned down under her hands.
"This is for you, so let me work, wouldja?" she said. He nodded, those dark eyes black in the candlelight.
She kissed his chest, his stomach, making her way down to where it counted, he hoped.
He hadn't misread her intentions, he found out, as his briefs hit the floor. For a woman who claimed very limited experience with men, her technique seemed exceptionally well-honed. And he was convinced she was psychic, or telepathic, or something. Every time he thought of something she could do, she was already doing it. He didn't have to think, or direct. All he had to do was enjoy it.
He was shaking and sweating as Kelly lay there beside him, looking for all the world like a smug feline. "I thought you said you weren't very experienced."
"I'm not. I read a lot," she said.
"Must be some kind of books. What was all this, anyway? Not that I'm complaining..."
"You'd better not be. I just wanted to do something a little special for you. How do you like the nightshirt?"
"It's lethal. Sexy but not slutty. Can I take it off for you?" he grinned.
"I'll take it under advisement," she answered and put her arms around him. " 'Course, it might be fun to just leave it on."
Andy, running his hands up and down the silk, said, "You might be right," and kissed her.
The candles had been extinguished and Kelly looked at Andy, sleeping most soundly, the moonlight touching his face and making him look like a kid. She touched his shoulder. He had chillbumps. He must be cold. She covered his shoulder with the blanket. He didn't stir. Kelly sat on the bed and watched him sleep for a long while before finally lying down under the blankets. "You're mine, Andrew Flynn," she whispered. "For however long we've got, you are mine." She snuggled to his chest and he slipped an arm around her. She was asleep almost immediately.