Chapter 10 - And I'm Home

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay with you?" Wedge asked, as Leia redid her braids in preparation for meeting the returning ships. "I can postpone the training exercises for later today or tomorrow."

Leia shook her head. It hadn't been a lot of sleep, but it had been enough to let her collect herself again. "Go ahead. I'll be fi—I'll get through this. Besides, I need you later. You've got to help me figure out how we're going to find Luke and Jaina." With the map to Luke incomplete, and little other data available, they'd decided to work from Wedge's and Leia's limited knowledge of the locations of the other Jedi colonies to find where Luke and Jaina were hidden. Chewie might have some useful information, too, both from his own memory and in the Falcon's flight records.

"All right, then." Wedge gave Leia a last kiss on the cheek and squeezed her hand. "Take care."

"You too."

Leia would have embraced Chewie first, buried her head in his fur and let them comfort each other, but he was following closely behind the medical team caring for Finn, who looked to be pretty badly wounded. It was just as well; it had been hard enough keeping herself together as it was, and she suspected that a hug from Chewie might push her completely over the edge. There would be time for their shared grief later.

Rey came down the ramp of the Falcon, looking tentative, but immediately gravitating to Leia. They'd never met, but Leia felt like she knew Rey, from Han's description and from the moment they'd both felt in the Force when—well, from that moment. Rey's face was somber, but her Force presence radiated light. It reminded Leia of Luke's presence, or of Jaina's, when Leia could still feel her. Ben had also had that kind of light once. Before.

Han thought of you like a daughter, too, Leia thought, instinctively wrapping Rey in her arms and holding her like Rey was one of her own children. Rey held on tight, like she'd been waiting to be embraced like this for a long time.

Leia's eyes were wet, and when they pulled apart, she saw that Rey's were as well. A second medical team ran past them and into the Falcon, which struck Leia as strange. Who else is in there? Rey was trying to say something to her, but Leia was distracted, watching another person come down the ramp…

Leia gasped with joy.

Jaina ran into her mother's arms, and as Leia held her daughter for the first time in four years, she realized what Rey had just been trying to tell her: "He's alive. Han's alive."

At first, Leia could hardly decide whom she most wanted to hold first: her daughter, home again after four years of total separation and only occasional visits for the three years before that; her husband, wounded and unconscious but alive, against all odds; or her brother, whose presence she had sorely missed over the last several years.

She settled for a long hug with Luke to start, and was holding Jaina while they all sat together beside Han's bed in the medbay. Jaina was a good six inches taller than her mother now, which would have ordinarily made her position leaning on Leia's shoulder a bit awkward, but Jaina didn't seem to mind. Leia was speaking softly to Jaina in Alderaani, like she had when Jaina was a little girl. "Meu nenila," she said, smoothing her daughter's hair, hugging her tightly. "Meu abinaat." My baby girl. My daughter.

Dr. Kalonia had evaluated Han's and Finn's conditions with amazement. These days, it was rare to see a lightsaber wound at all, much less one that had failed to kill its recipient. To have two men in her medbay, alive, wounded by a lightsaber but still in stable condition, was remarkable. It was also rather remarkable to put the words Force healing under the treatment information section of their medical records, but she did it anyway.

"He should wake up in the next day or so," she'd told Leia before leaving to check on Finn again. "He's had a lot of trauma, but I think the worst of his recovery is over."

Leia had thanked her, and ignored the wide-eyed looks Kalonia's assistant had given Leia as she took Han's hand in one of hers.

The rest of the base was already buzzing, she knew. In a pair of moves that were rare for Leia, she'd postponed the debriefing session for the Starkiller battle, and handed over her command duties to Admiral Statura for the day. Everyone knew that she was in the medbay with her supposedly estranged husband, her supposedly dead daughter, and the brother/Jedi master who had supposedly abandoned her and run away from everything. Not to mention that she was sure at least someone had seen Wedge leaving her quarters early this morning.

But if Leia had cared that much about what people had to say about her, she probably would have given up long ago. She chuckled at the thought of the gossip she must be inspiring at the moment, and held on to Jaina as Luke told the story of Han's miraculous rescue.

It was late afternoon when Wedge returned from leading the training exercises, and as he approached D'Qar, his mind was already on what would be waiting for him back on base. He hoped that seeing the Falcon again hadn't been too hard for Leia, and that Chewie was okay. It would be good to see him again, although Wedge wished the circumstances were far different.

When they'd told him that someone was waiting for him in the docking bay, he'd assumed it was Leia, although he'd wondered fleetingly why they didn't just say that the General was waiting for him.

It wasn't Leia.

Luke's appearance was the extreme version of what Wedge used to refer to as his "Old Jedi Hermit look." His hair was long and wild, a little grayer than before; his beard was long and just a touch away from being unruly; he was wearing a set of worn robes that Wedge could have sworn they'd thrown out years ago. But his blue eyes were shining, and he was smiling that smile that melted Wedge every time.

Their kiss was tender, long, slow, just as Wedge remembered their last kiss before Luke left. Luke's arms around him were strong and firm. They felt safe. Like home. They kissed again, then sank into each other's arms. And that was when Wedge lost it.

He'd lived through decades of battles, had plenty of friends who never came home, lost too many people he'd loved. He'd been away from Luke before, many times. He'd shed plenty of tears over the years, but nothing like this. Honestly, Wedge wasn't sure what was happening to him. Maybe it was losing Han. Maybe it was the memory of comforting Leia last night, of seeing her so wrecked with grief. Maybe it was just that it had been four long years. Whatever it was, Wedge was full-on ugly-crying in his husband's arms, in view of everyone in the hangar.

He looked up and saw that Luke was crying, too. Maybe with fewer incoherent sobs, but crying nonetheless. "Don't go," Wedge implored him. "Don't leave me again."

"No," Luke said, his face streaked with tears, but still smiling. He put a hand to his husband's face. "I'm home."

"Thanks, but I'm fine, really." Rey was quickly becoming an expert at deflecting attempts to get her to leave Finn's side. Dr. Kalonia had said Finn would most likely fully recover and should wake up in a matter of days, but Rey had resisted multiple suggestions that she go rest, or go to the mess to eat, or do anything else that would take her away from him. He'd risked so much to come back for her, to defend her; it seemed wrong to leave, even for a minute.

Poe had recently arrived at Finn's bedside after finishing his duties for the day, and had brought his reports to work on while he was there. He and Rey had been getting along famously, sharing their stories of how Finn had come into their lives. Given that Poe seemed equally devoted to Finn, his arrival had removed Rey's last excuse for not taking a break from her vigil. Still, she was doing her best to stand firm.

"Rey." Jaina gave her a stern look. "You hardly ate anything on the Falcon. And I can't imagine the First Order was feeding their prisoners very well."

At the mention of First Order prisoners, Poe's eyes widened, but he quickly masked his reaction and looked up at Jaina. He studied her face for a moment, then grinned, his eyes twinkling. "You're the General's daughter."

Jaina smiled back. "I am," she confirmed, holding out a hand. "Jaina Organa-Solo."

"Poe Dameron." He shook her hand firmly.

Jaina raised an eyebrow at him, still smiling. "You're one of my mother's favorite pilots."

"One of?" Poe was not very good at pretending to be offended; there was still laughter in his eyes.

"Well," Jaina continued, "you should be happy to be in the top ten, considering that you're not married to her or related to her. Or a Wookiee."

"Fair enough," Poe allowed, grinning broadly. Rey was really beginning to like this guy.

Jaina turned back to Rey. "I'm on a mission. Mom sent me to get something to eat, and to make sure you eat, too. If you don't come with me, you're going to have to answer to her," she warned.

Poe laughed. "Rey, you'd better go. You don't want to mess with the General." Jaina grinned back at him.

Rey wanted to say yes, but something was still holding her back.

"I know you don't want to leave him," Jaina said, her voice a little more quiet and serious than before. "Poe's here. He'll look out for him." Poe nodded in agreement.

Rey still felt conflicted, and it must have shown on her face. Jaina looked at her with concern, then seemed to get a sudden spark of inspiration.

"I have an idea," Jaina said. "Would you—let me help you try something? With the Force?"

Rey felt a little uneasy at the mention of the Force. She'd noticed Poe flinch a little as well. "Try what?" she asked tentatively.

"It's a way…to find someone's presence and sort of...reach out to them. So you can check on Finn even when you're not right next to him."

Rey was surprised by the sudden flash of anger that spiked within her as she remembered Kylo Ren in her head. Jaina looked startled, like she'd sensed the "NOOOOO" echoing in Rey's brain.

Maybe she had. Jaina looked at Rey sympathetically, putting a hand on one of hers. "He used the Force to hurt you," she guessed. Or sensed; Rey wasn't sure.

Rey nodded. She could feel Poe and Jaina watching her, and she had a sudden instinct that Poe had experienced something similar. Rey felt a wave of compassion for her new friend.

"I'm sorry that happened to you," Jaina said, "and I don't want you to try anything you don't want to do. I would never ask you to get inside someone else's head unless they invited you there. Nobody should do that, ever." She breathed deeply, then continued. "This thing—it's like finding someone and waving to them from across the room. It doesn't hurt, and they don't have to wave back unless they want to."

Rey thought about that for a moment. "Okay," she agreed. She was still a bit afraid, but she trusted Jaina.

Jaina smiled at her, and took Rey's hand. "Close your eyes," she said. "It's easier to find the Force when you're not distracted by two handsome men." Rey giggled, and she heard Poe laugh softly as well.

"Okay, calm your mind, and then wait for it to come to you," Jaina said.

Rey listened to her breathing for a few minutes. Then she felt it, like a heartbeat getting closer and closer to her. She felt the beat gently align with her own heart.

"Good," Jaina continued. "Okay, now you're looking for Finn's presence. Presences are like…sparks. Like trying to find a certain star."

Rey looked for a light, as Jaina had instructed. There was something there that…strangely wasn't really there, as if Rey had seen it but had imagined it. A mirage.

"That's me. I'm still hidden in the Force," Jaina explained. "I'm there, but I'm invisible. Most people can't even sense that."

Rey found Poe, a warm, comforting presence. It was amazing that she was able to sense so much from someone she'd just met, and that she could tell it was his star and not Finn's.

Then she found Finn's light. Strong, complex, like a prism releasing color in all directions. It was strange and wonderful, every hurt and joy and memory wrapped up into a pulse of light. He was hurt, but he was coming back to them. To her. She could feel it. "He's beautiful," Rey breathed softly.

Her eyes were still closed, but somehow she could feel Jaina's wide grin. "He is," Jaina agreed.

Wedge and Luke were on their way out of the hangar when Wedge remembered something important. "Jaina?" he inquired hopefully.

Luke's smile got even wider than before. "She can't wait to see you. She and Leia are in the medbay, with Han."

Wedge stopped abruptly. Jaina's here. In the medbay. With Han. With Han? His face twisted into about twelve different reactions as he processed what Luke was saying. Finally, he said, "Han's in the medbay? Are you fucking kidding me?"

Luke grinned. "No, I'm not. Han's alive."

Wedge looked angry and joyful at the same time, if that was possible. "I cried real tears for that fucker!" he complained happily, hitting his fist against the wall. He shook his head, laughing and crying at the same time.

Luke had been expecting a pretty surprised reaction, but his husband had managed to surprise him with his level of emotion. "You okay there?"

Wedge grabbed him and hugged him again, still laughing and crying. "Godsdamnit, Luke," he said into his husband's shoulder. "Two people back from the dead in the last 24 hours. You here after disappearing for four years. No, I'm not okay. You're killing me here."

Luke squeezed him tighter. "I know, love. I know."

Rey's experience of finding Finn in the Force had been enough to convince her to leave him with Poe for a little while and get something to eat. She realized that she really was quite hungry, though she hadn't noticed it until the promise of food had gotten closer. Rey had become accustomed to ignoring her hunger on Jakku; when there was work to do, it wasn't useful to focus on the food you didn't have.

She and Jaina were on their way to the mess when they caught sight of Luke and another man walking in from the hangar, talking quietly. Jaina stopped, and looked closer.

A second later, she took off running toward the two men, her dark hair suddenly a blur in Rey's vision. "Uncle Wedge!" Jaina nearly screamed.

The man with Luke turned in surprise, his face lighting up with recognition, and he caught Jaina in his arms, swinging her around like she was a small child. "Jainey, Jainey, Jainey," he kept saying, doing some combination of laughing and crying as he spun her around.

He stopped, and pulled her away from him for a minute. They were both laughing. "Look at you!" he exclaimed. "You grew up! You're as tall as me!" She hugged him again, and he closed his eyes briefly as he held her. "Oh, Jainey. I've missed you."

Jaina's eyes were closed, too. "I missed you, too. I'm so sorry—"

Wedge was shaking his head. "No, no. Nothing to be sorry about. Just glad you're back." Jaina hugged him again.

By this time, Rey had caught up to them, although she was standing to the side, by Luke, to give them a little room for their reunion.

Ever the diplomat, Jaina moved to introduce them. "Rey, this is my Uncle Wedge. Wedge, this is Rey." They shook hands, and Jaina started guiding everyone down the hallway toward the mess. "You should come to dinner with us," she told Luke and Wedge. "I'm on a mission."

"A dinner mission?" Wedge asked, amused.

"When you've been through what she's been through the last few days, dinner is a very important mission," Jaina said, gesturing to Rey. "Come on." She linked arms with Rey and led them down the hall. Luke shrugged at Wedge, and they followed Jaina and Rey.

"Uncle Wedge gives the best hugs," confided Jaina to Rey as they walked along, then quickly corrected herself. "Uh, the best human hugs." She looked around to make sure nobody was in earshot, looking a little sheepish. "Uncle Chewie would be very upset with me if he heard that."

I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me, and I'm home….

-"arms," Christina Perri