Doctor Oobleck was an entirely different man in the morning. Instead of the energetic ball of energy that zoomed around in the classroom, he was a sluggish sloth that practically moved at the speed of smell. Well, at least before he had his daily dose of coffee that is. But here he was, woken up at crack of dawn by the sound of knocking, slowly treading down the stairs of his home in his striped pink pajamas, one foot at a time as he made his way for the front door.
Rubbing his eye behind his round glasses, he yawned loudly and turned the doorknob. When he pulled the door open, he was met with the grinning mug of one miss Ruby Rose, and another razor sharp smile from one mister Juan Arc.
"Greetings... you two..." Oobleck spoke with near five second intervals in between each word. "What... brings... you... to... my humble... humble..." His head drooped downwards as he fell asleep again, only to be brought back to land of the conscious by Ruby slapping him across the side of the face. "Huh? What... what happened?"
"You fell asleep." Ruby deadpanned. She reached out to him and held out a coffee cup that she had gotten from a nearby shop a little while back just in case something like this happened. "You look like you could use a quick pick me up. Here's an extra strong one for you. Black, just the way you like it."
"Thank... you..." Oobleck smile gently and took the cup. Bringing it up to his nose, he inhaled the bitter aroma the ebon drink gave off. It smelled of fresh roasted beans and tireless nights at the desk.
Lowering the cup to his lips, he took a long hearty swig. Once he pulled away, he smacked his lips one or two times before his pupil's dilated. Like a flip was switched in his head, his slumped body shot upwards and he became ramrod straight with an glint of unreasonable focus gleaming in his eyes. In the span of only two seconds, the sleepy sloth-like Oobleck was instantly replaced with the sporadic and audible Oobleck they know and love.
"Wonderful!" Oobleck exclaimed loudly. "How did you know that this was my favorite brand?"
"The lady at the receptionist desk at school told me about it." replied Ruby.
"Really? Did she also tell you where I lived?" Oobleck raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, but it's only because I need your help!"
"Couldn't your dilemma have waited until after nine o' clock? As you can clearly see, I'm not much of a morning person."
"But it involves Juan, I mean Jaune, I mean, Johann!"
"Who?" Oobleck raised his eyebrow again.
"Gutten morgen herr doktor!" said Johann.
"...Is mister Arc speaking in german?" Oobleck asked.
"Can we sit down, this is kind of a lot to take in." said Ruby with pleading puppy dog eyes.
"Well, I can't exactly say no to eyes like those. Not that I could anyway..." Oobleck motioned for them to follow him. "But try those on me for a better grade on your next test and you're looking at a good scolding young lady."
"I wouldn't dream of it, Doctor Oobleck." Ruby walked in with Johann. "Nice pajamas, by the way."
"Thank you! It was a gift from my mother."
Ruby and Johann both settled down at doctor Oobleck's kitchen table, where Ruby began to regale her tale of how she and Pyrrha wanted to raise Jaune's self esteem by using hypnotherapy. Oobleck listened with great interest as she told him about the 3-D hypno ring, the Juan and Johann personas, and about how she doesn't know how to revert Jaune back to normal. It was a lot to take in, but in spite of it all, Oobleck believed her.
"That is a very interesting tale, but all of this could've been easily prevented if you'd just come to me and the others in the first place." said Oobleck, causing more guilt to well up from Ruby.
"You think I don't know that by now!" Ruby shouted. "It's just, I thought that by using the ring, I could get Jaune to see himself in a better light quickly. It's what Pyrrha and his team would've wanted anyway."
"But was it what mister Arc would've wanted?"
"Uh..."
"Change starts with the self, Ruby. You can't force change upon someone and expect them to willingly accept it. Our nature prevents us from allowing that to happen."
"Sheesh, you sound just like Pyrrha."
"Umm... I'm still here, you know." Johann chimed in. "Zis is nice and all, that you care for zis Jaune fellow, but I have a bomb zat needed to be armed, like yesterday. So if you can speed zis up a bit, I can get back to my verk."
"Bomb? What bomb?" Oobleck asked.
"Heh, heh. It's kind of funny story." Ruby scratched the back of her neck nervously.
"Oh, really? Do tell. I'm sure it's incredibly humorous if it involves a bomb."
"So uh... Johann may or may not have stolen weapon grade plutonium from the white fang and constructed a bomb out of it earlier this morning." Ruby grinned weakly. "Funny, right?"
"Hilarious." Oobleck deadpanned. "Anywho, if said bomb exist, then we shouldn't have anything to worry about. It's not armed, meaning it's no threat to anyone. The problem at hand lies with mister Arc here."
"Do you think you can help?" Ruby looked hopeful.
"Sadly, no, I can't."
"What!? But you're a doctor, aren't you?"
"What kind of doctor do you think I am, Ruby?"
"Um, the doctoring kind?" Ruby's answer cause Oobleck to sigh.
"My Ph.D is what allows me to have the title of doctor." He pointed over to several framed diploma on the wall. "I'm a registered archaeologist and historian as well as a professor, I am not a psychologist, Ruby. I also happen to be a fully licensed minister in all the four kingdoms. But since you two aren't getting married or require an exorcism, that's neither here nor there."
"Wait, you're a minister?" Ruby tilted her head in avid curiosity. "Wouldn't that technically make you Father Oobleck, instead of Doctor Oobleck? Or rather, Father Doctor Oobleck, or Doctor Father Oobleck?"
"Father Oobleck makes me sound old. Doctor Oobleck makes me sound all sophisticated and cool." Oobleck readjusted his glasses.
"Sophisticated, yes, cool, eh... not so sure about that last part." said Ruby. "But if you can't help, do you know anyone else who can? I want to try to keep this under wraps before things get a little crazy."
"Crazier than they are now?"
"Good point."
"Regardless, there is one other person I know who can help." Oobleck frowned. "I'm not sure it's a good idea to bring her up, however."
"Doctor Oobleck, if you know anything at all that would help, please tell me!" Ruby pleaded.
Sighing, Doctor Oobleck walked over to a set of pictures on the mantle of his fireplace. He reached for a specific photo and carried it with him back to the others where he presented it to them. Looking at the picture, Ruby could tell that it was an old family photo of a young Doctor Oobleck and his family. There was his dad, who looked rather plain to be honest, and his mom, who he inherited his wild green hair from, and... another Doctor Oobleck?
"Huh? Why is there two of you?" Ruby asked.
"That, my dear child, is Doctor Oobleck." said Doctor Oobleck. "Or more specifically, Dr. Beatrice Oobleck, my twin sister."
"You have a twin? What else are you keeping from me?"
"I voiced Caboose from Red Versus Blue the series."
"Oh my gosh! You're Caboose!" Ruby pointed as her jaw dropped in awe. "You voiced one of the best characters of all time! Wait!" Ruby paused. "I'm getting off topic here. Take me and Johann to your sister."
"Eh... I'm not so sure about that." Oobleck shyed away. "My sister, she's a little, how should I say this... bizarre. In fact, it's been a while since I actually last spoken to her."
"So, my sister's bizarre at times too. Have you seen her try to eat spaghetti through her nose? Blech!"
"Your sister and my sister are two entirely different subjects, Ruby. At a glance, you might not even expect her to be an expert in her field. But she's one of the best there is."
"Which is all the more reason for me to find her!"
"Alright, but I'm coming with you. She's a very busy woman and only takes appointments. She'll make an exception for family though. Give me a second to change." Doctor Oobleck darted up his stairs in a pink blur and immediately came straight down dressed in his appropriate business attire. "I didn't make you wait long, did I?"
"Not long enough. Come on, let's get going."
"Hold on, let me call the school first. We wouldn't want any bad marks on our attendance now, do we? Because I have a feeling that this might take a while."
"Just meet us outside when you're done. Come on, Johann. We're going on a little field trip."
Half an hour later, the little trio stood before massive building deep in the very heart of Vale. It was a building not unlike the Schnee Dust Company towering skyscraper. It was massive, imposing, and held a sense of grandeur that was only accentuated by its roman architectural design. Or at least it would've been, were it not for a peculiar set windows with pink floral curtains far up around the twentieth floor.
"There it is, my sister's workplace. The Vale Health and Rehabilitation Center. Home to some of the best advances in medicinal science, master surgeons, and celebrity washouts who had succumbed to the thralls of the media. We'll find Beatrice here." said Oobleck.
Together they entered into the building's foyer. Inside, it was sleek and modernistic, expertly juxtaposed with organic shapes and warm colors as to make one feel less stuffy and uncomfortable in a healing environment. Walking up to the receptionist desk, Oobleck ringed the bell. Turning around from her swivel chair, a bored looking receptionist glances over the three while absently picking at her long nails.
"Hello, and welcome to the Vale Health and Rehabilitation Center. Home to some of the best advances in medicinal science, master surgeons, and celebrity washouts who had succumbed to the thralls of the media. How may I help you?" She drawled.
"Hello there, I would like to speak to a Dr. Oobleck, please." said Oobleck.
"Do you have any appointment?"
"No bu-"
"Then please schedule an appointment with me and I'll see if I can pencil you into her schedule in the next three to six months."
"We don't have three to six months! Listen here..." Oobleck read her name tag. "Susan. Can you just call her and tell her that 'Bart' is here to visit?"
"..." Sighing, the receptionist picked up the phone and began dialing Dr. Oobleck. "Hello. Yes, I know you're in a session right now but a man and his kids here really wants to see you."
"They're not my kids! How old do you think I am?"
"Old enough to be the father of these two kids." Susan retorted before turning back to the phone. "Uh huh. Mmhmm. He's starting to get a little rowdy. Yes, I understand. I'll call security right away ma'am." The trio reeled back in a flash of panic. "Oh, and he says that Bart has come to visit."
"What!" The trio heard a voice shout with such volume from the other end of the phone.
"Uh huh, mmhmm. Alright." Susan put the phone down. "Dr. Oobleck will see you now. Take the elevator down the hall and go up to floor twenty two. You'll find her office there."
"Thank you. We'll be on our way now." With that, the three left for a long elevator right where they could finally collect their thoughts after nearly being manhandled by a security force.
"So... vat's your sister like?" Johann asked.
"Yeah, tell me a bit about her." said Ruby.
"Well, being twins, people usually think that we're the same. But that's far from the actual truth." said Oobleck. "I took after my father, striving for the pursuit of knowledge and fighting for what's right as a hunter. Beatrice took after our mother. She pursued a career in medicine, hoping to improve the lives of other with her expertise in the fields of psychology, neurology and biochemistry. The same can also said about our personalities."
"Soooo... what does that say about her?" Ruby asked just as the elevator stopped on floor twenty two. The moment the door opened, a green blur entered the elevator and assaulted Doctor Oobleck with a powerful tackle. Johann and Ruby hopped away slightly after seeing the aggressor pin Oobleck down to the floor.
"Bart!"
"Ugh! It's good to see you again, Beatrice." Oobleck strained from beneath his sister's bone crushing hug. "If you would please loosen your grip, I can get some air into my lungs..."
The woman in question did look like a spitting image of Doctor Oobleck. If Oobleck was a woman and had long wavy hair. But that was where the physical differences end. Both of them were very tall and lanky, both of them wore round rimmed glasses, both their hair was green, and both of them seemed to have a taste for coffee, as evident by the smell of hazelnut roast that was wafting off Beatrice Oobleck's hair.
"Nuh uh! This is the first time I've talked to you in months, and I am not letting go!" Beatrice tightened her grip even more, causing Bart to turn a rich shade of blue.
"Beatrice, please!" Oobleck struggled to speak as he felt his consciousness wane.
"Yeah, can you please not kill him?" Ruby jumped in as she tried to pry away Doctor Oobleck's sister from choking the life out of him.
"Who are you two, his kids?"
"Wha? No! How old do you think we are?" Ruby snapped.
"Old enough to be his secret teenage daughter and son." Beatrice retorted. "Speaking of which, did you get hitched without me knowing? Did you hide them from me for all these years? I could've been an aunt!"
"Honestly, why does everyone keep thinking they're my kids? We look absolutely nothing alike." Oobleck choked out. "Come on, ease up on the hugging, sis. I'll explain everything in your office."
"Oh, alright." Beatrice let go Oobleck go as he began to greedily take in the oxygen for his deprived lungs.
"Thank you. But please, can I just have a regular hug next time?" Oobleck asked as he got up and dusted himself off.
"Aw, but you used to like it back when we were little." Beatrice pouted.
"I prefer it when I see it coming, thank you very much. Now, about that problem of ours."
"Sure thing! Just follow me back to my office." Beatrice guided them.
Now that Johann and Ruby got a good look at Beatrice, they noticed that she dressed rather, eccentrically for a leading psychologist. Instead of a lab coat and some casual clothing, she was clothed in a long yellow sundress that had white and black polka dots all over it. Not only that, she was also wearing a wide array of bone and mineral jewelry around her neck, wrists and ears. Not to mention that her carefree personality was definitely a far cry from Oobleck's more professional one.
"Vas zis what you meant by ve wouldn't know at a glance?" Johann asked.
"Yes. Both she and my mother are incredibly free spirited individuals, who values nature and freedom above all else. They would go on hikes and spirit journeys to become one with nature while me and dad would dig up old junk. Not to mention they both have very strange taste in clothing."
"Sooo... she's a hippie then?" said Ruby.
"I prefer the term, nature lover." said Oobleck.
"Anywho, I hope she has the solution that I'm looking for..." said Ruby as they all entered Beatrice's extravagant office.