Disc.: I own nothing.
Author's Note: Bear with me through the poem. I really wanted to get this up on Wednesday, and I also was in a poetic mood. I tried something a little different with this chapter at the end, because I really just didn't know how to follow up the poem. So be gentle, please.
Review Response:
DazzleMeBrilliant: Thank you for sympathizing! You better get that one-shot up, buckaroo, because I'm watching! ;-)
MoonShineMagicSsarer: May I call you MSMS? Your name is a bit of a mouthful! Thanks for seeing my point. I promise to work through the Peter chapters diligently!
Snape'smistress-in-law: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you like the updates. And I passed the message on to Sirius. He says, "Thanks, babe." ;-)
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I feel that James and Remus should apologize to you lot. After all, they deprived you of my dazzling personality and witty rapport for AGES. But I'm back, so you can breathe easily. I will now proceed to charm you all with a poem I composed for the occasion.
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"52 Girls"
52 girls were there,
Combing and stroking my luxurious hair.
Loved me, did they,
And I loved them too- for a day!
The first was Sue,
Lovely was she, the girl who hated blue!
We dated for an hour,
Until her green eyes lost their power.
Then came Dani,
Her possession was my heart's key.
And my love for her broke down rocks,
Until I changed my heart's locks.
Then there was Kathryn and Catherine,
Oh, and also Katherine,
And then Jesse and Erin
And Bobbi and Jocelyn.
After those seven there was Sam
As meek and mild as a lamb!
She held my gaze for two days
Until I ditched her the Two C's
Their names were Catie and Carrie,
But their brother, Larry,
Got quite angry and knocked my lights out!
He said, "You'll not date that lout!"
So I moved on to Cindy.
But I dumped her for Minnie,
And Minnie got kicked out for Cara.
And then I dated Sarah.
Afterwards I charmed Susannah,
She was from the U. S. of A., in Savannah.
But she got deported from the country,
And I was left alone, to weep by Lee.
After Lee, the names get cloudy-
There was Jordan, Maria, and Josephine, and someone quite rowdy.
There was Alexis, Alexandra, and Corinne,
And some lady who was full of sin!
Now we're halfway there, almost done!
I dated the heir to the throne of Japan-
I think her name was San-San.
I went out with the daughter of a Lord,
But from day one she had me bored.
For awhile I fancied Betty,
But I broke up with her, and she took up with Freddy,
Who's ex-girlfriend, Annie, took up with me,
It's a vicious cycle, don't you see?
I went with Marietta, of the Spanish sort,
But she was called home to mind her da's fort,
And so I comforted myself with Ellen,
Who vaguely resembled a wet hen.
To the School Dance I brought Jamie,
But left in the middle with a gal named Kellie.
Kellie introduced me to Bee,
And that was the last Kellie saw of me.
Then there was Rosaline
And Carolyn
And Lynne
And Professor Binns.
After I recovered from that hurt,
I took Laura from her guy, Bert,
Who came after me with a pipe,
How typical: he was the jealous type.
I went with one girl for a week,
But she was not what I did seek.
Her name was Belinda, and I can't lie:
Fat and lumpy was her thigh.
However, Terri had nice legs,
But I forgot her over a few kegs,
And she attempted to have me thrown from school-
What a fool!
Only ten more: we're even closer to being done!
Soon after I dated Ellie
And her Housemate, Shelley.
I tried to get along with a pretty Slytherin,
But I hexed her, and she went out with poor Michael Finn.
I utilized my judgment and went with a Gryffindor,
Her name was Elise and I did adore
The way she shrieked at me when I left her
For Fleur.
Then there was Danielle the athlete,
She could play Quidditch, and it was no small feat!
After all, she was as big as a house,
And she would hit me and call me a louse.
I wised up and ditched her for Alexa,
But soon she got the "nexta!"
And I dated her sister,
Who had a really big blister.
Then there was Bridget,
Who threw quite a fit,
When I explained I liked Cora,
Who I dated until I met another gal named Laura!
And then… Oh wait, that's the end.
Well, will you be my next girlfriend?
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Thank you! I know, I'm an excellent poet. HEY! REMUS LUPIN, DO NOT---
Oh, god. I'm so sorry you had to read all that. That poem ought to be titled, "The Egotistical Exploits of an Egomaniac"!
I resent that. Lupin wrenched the pen from my brilliant hand. And when I tried to take it back, he…he…
I slapped him. So?
THIS IS MY ENTRY, REMUS! BACK OFF—
What if I don't want to? I like watching your face turn purple. It's entertainment.
How did you get in here, anyways? I thought you were in the Hospital Wing.
I got out. Then I hexed James. He'll be in there for another week.
That's very rude of you Remus.
ANYWAYS. This is my entry. I was going to continue my poem, after all. See, there's another 76 girls to go!
Why don't you line up the readers in front a firing squad, you freak.
God, Remus. You're particularly feisty today.
Yes, I am. James put chili peppers in my potion this morning.
Oh. I thought it was just that time of month.
WHAT?
Interpret it as you wish, my friend. I on the other hand will be RECLAIMING MY TERRITORY!
As I was saying: The other 76 girls! There was Louise, and Jackie, and Crystal, and Juliana, and Patty, and Florence…
I WAS JUST KIDDING REMUS! THERE WAS NO REASON TO HURL AN ARITHMANCY TEXT AT MY HEAD.
God. Remus is just being snooty because I'm better looking. Whatever. I completely lost my train of thought.
OH GOD…HELPP---
Five days later…
It's Remus here. Sorry Sirius never finished this entry. And sorry about that weird brown stain next to Sirius' plea for help. I accidentally turned him into a slug. He's in the hospital wing right now. Madam Pomfrey wouldn't even let me see him until yesterday. She said that every time my name was mentioned his eyes started to pop out of his head and he would start screaming. And when I went and saw him yesterday, he and Madam Pomfrey made me sign a contract that states that I'll never interrupt him while he's writing an entry.
Yeah, right.
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Thank you so much for bearing with me through that! I'll most likely never do anything like that again. But I will admit that I was suffering some writer's block. I have to think on the next entry, which will probably be James. Please review!