"Hello" said a familiar voice on the other end of the phone.
"Hey Alison, it's Emily" I said eagerly.
"Oh! Hey Emily. What's up?" furthered Alison.
"So I was wondering when you'd be free to hang out?" I asked hoping she'd still want to see where things go between us.
"Ummm... hmmm. Lemme think real quick. I'm at work right now and I'll be exhausted after work. So how about tomorrow? Will you be free too? I don't know how crazy your schedule is" said Alison.
"I'm completely free for a couple weeks so that works out perfectly. How about a day at museums? Maybe check out some food trucks too?" I replied hoping she'd be down to go.
"That sounds great. It'll be fun" she said sounding excited.
"Can I meet you outside your apartment and we'll head out together?" I said hoping that wasn't too forward for her.
She paused for a bit before she said, "How about I just meet you in Central Park and we'll head from there?"
Damn. Too much Em. It was worth a shot though. "Okay. Sounds good. I'll meet you at 10" I said excitedly, secretly trying to hide my disappointment.
Today's the day. I'm standing outside Central Park. I check my phone and see it's 10:15. Alison's still not here. I know I'm in the right spot. Did she hit traffic? Is she standing me up? Oh God please tell me she's not standing me up. I'm nervously rubbing my hands together and looking around for her. Then I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and there she is with that famous smile. A huge sigh of relief escapes my lungs and I give her a big hug.
"Someone's excited to see me" giggled Alison.
Breaking the hug, I kiss her on the cheek and respond, "You have no idea". I grab her hand, smile, and say, "Come on. Let's go. I want to take you to this underground place I heard about that's not far from here."
Alison blushed and happily followed me. We walk hand in hand on our way to the underground museum. We turn down an alleyway and walk all the way to the door at the end.
"Emily are you sure this is safe?" asks Alison squeezing my hand a little tighter.
"Yes. I'm sure. It's gonna be great. Trust me", I reply with a little wink.
This seemed to calm her cause she loosened her grip and followed me inside. Once inside, we descend a few flights of stairs toward the lowest level of the basement. Still holding her hand, I lead her inside.
"Oh my goodness this place is incredible!" she gasps as she looks around at all the sculptures and artwork hanging on the walls. I'm too busy watching Alison be in awe to notice all the artwork from famous underground street artists. There's only a few people here so the place practically feels like it's all just for us. Alison takes my hand again and slowly walks side by side with me throughout the gallery.
Stopping, Alison pauses, looks at me, and asks, "Emily, do you have any artistic talents?"
"Ummm... I've been known to dabble at times. But I'm not nearly as good as these guys," I say pointing at the next painting and moving the conversation along. I'm just not sure I'm ready to show her that side of me yet. Much less take her to the secret studio section of my apartment. I hope to one day do so though. I'd love to paint her as she models in front of me. The thought of this brings a smile to my face and causes her to ask, "Whatcha thinking about? You look deep in thought".
Stirring me from my thoughts, I reply, "Oh nothing. Just thinking about how happy I am right now".
Blushing, Alison responds, "Good. Me too. Let's go to the next place."
For the rest of the day, we toured museums and various art galleries. Midway through the day, we stopped at a food truck rally and got something to eat.
We were only stopped by a couple of fans that asked to take a picture with me. I don't mind taking pictures with fans or stopping to chat with them for a bit. It's paparazzi that I can't stand. Luckily I haven't spotted any all day. Things are just starting out with Alison and I don't want to drag her into the crazy world of paparazzi and crazy news agencies poking and prodding at your every move. Thinking about this makes me hope that Alison hasn't done any Internet searches on me. If she has, she'll see all kinds of awful things about me, some true, some false. But I'm different now. She's making me better. My friends are making me better. I feel like I should tell her later about what I'm thinking and feeling right now. If I want this to work, I need to be open and honest with her.
It's getting to be about 6 pm and we have gone to a lot of places today. That being said, I still don't want this day to end. I decide to be bold again and say, "Hey, do you want to come back to my place? Maybe we can order in and talk some more?"
Smiling wide, Alison replies, "I'd love to".
I get so excited that she said yes that I actually do a little dance. I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself. I know, I'm such a weirdo.
Laughing, Alison gently shoves my arm and says, "You're such a dork. It's cute though".
Once we're at my apartment, I tell her to make herself comfortable while I call and order Chinese from a little place not far from my apartment. I come back into the living room to see Alison casually walking around, looking at everything in my apartment. This chick really notices everything. That's one of the things I like about her. She's attentive and she lives in the moment.
Alison's POV
Emily's in the other room ordering dinner, so I take this opportunity to check out her apartment. It's not what I would expect a world renowned model's apartment to look like. It's located on the top floor in this older looking brick building. Much of the wall detail inside also has brick. The overall design and accents are quiet cozy with a country, rustic feel. To be honest, I was expecting a more modern feel in a nicer apartment complex located in a wealthier part of town. Once again, Emily keeps me on my toes. She's not what I expected and that's part of what I find to be so appealing about her. Emily is so kind, thoughtful, patient with her fans, mysterious, and honestly quite complex and complicated.
There have been a couple of times in Central Park and on our date today when I've really wanted her to kiss me. I can tell she noticed and really wanted to kiss me. But... she stops herself and I'm not exactly sure why. Is she teasing me? Does she want to take things slowly? Is she trying to figure out if she really likes me? There are so many questions that I have for Emily that I don't really even know where to begin too. Some of these questions aren't going to be easy to talk about either. But if I want to see where this goes and potentially foster a lasting relationship, these things need to be discussed. The healthy, confident side of me knows this needs to happen. The guarded, insecure, scared part of me also knows that she'll expect the same from me. I don't know if I am ready to expose myself like that. So much has happened to me that it's difficult to let anyone else in. My heart wants to let her in though. My heart just has to override the cautious voices in my head.
"What has you so pensive?" asks Emily from across the room.
"Oh just some stuff. Emily, can we talk?" I say with a serious tone.
A look of worry overcomes her face and she plops herself next to me on the couch. "Alison, what's wrong?" she says nervously.
Taking a deep breath, I say, "I've just been doing a lot of thinking. And well, I have questions for you. I also feel like I need to be more honest with you".
Emily grabs my hand, encouraging me to continue.
"I'm just going to be honest with you and tell you that the night I came home from Central Park, my curiosity got the best of me. I Googled you to learn a little more about your work and more about you as a person. I have to admit that I read nothing but article after article of things that weren't so flattering about you. There were pictures and videos too. You were either really drunk or angry and you were all over slutty looking girls".
Emily's face turns red with anger and she pulls away from me. "Well if you're just going to sit here and judge me for my past behavior and be self righteous about it, then you can just leave" says Emily in an ever increasing angry tone.
I reach out for her hand but she pulls away even further and gets up from the couch saying, "No! Don't touch me!" I can see her walls building up inside her.
"Emily, please sit. Let me finish what I have to say. Don't get angry. Please" I say hoping she'll calm down and hear me out. Thankfully she sits back down.
"What I'm trying to say is, I know the media can't possibly tell the whole story. There's a reason you behaved like that. I guess I'm just confused. Because clearly I don't look like those girls. I'm not skinny, wear revealing clothes, or throw myself at you. Am I just another conquest to you? A challenge from the usual type of girl you go after?"
Emily gets up again with an angry look on her face. Yelling now, she says, "See. There you go again sounding judgy and making assumptions about me when you have no idea who I am or what I've been through!"
I'm feeling a little angry and hurt at the sound of her voice and the anger that she's showing towards me. I feel tears welling up in my eyes and I look away from her in an attempt to hide my hurt feelings. "Maybe I should just go" I say as I pick up my purse and head for the door. My hand is on the doorknob, ready to turn it and open the door when I hear Emily say in a soft voice, "You mean something to me".
I turn around and face her. "What did you say?" knowing full well what she just said.
Wiping away tears on her face she says, "You're not just some conquest. You matter to me".
Her words cut through to my heart and a sudden urge to run across the room and kiss her begins to build within me.
"Please stay. Continue with what you have to say" she says sitting back on the couch.
I join her and say, "Can you understand where I'm coming from though? I'm nothing like those girls. But I know one thing though. You're not like what I saw online. There is so much more to you than all that stuff. You're so different. I don't know what caused that to happen, but I'd like to know how you went from being one way to now seeming to be the complete opposite?"
Pausing for a bit, Emily looks down. I can see she's processing what I said and is trying to figure out what to say next. Looking back up at me with those beautiful brown eyes, she says, "This is going to sound super weird, but the answer is you. You've changed me".
"Me? How could I have changed you? We haven't even known each other that long" I ask feeling puzzled.
"You're going to think I'm a creep. There was one night at Chrome that I sat in the back, drinking alone, and watching everyone in the bar. That night, I saw you for the first time. I saw you sit all by yourself, order a glass of wine, and politely reject every man that tried to buy you a drink a tried to get to know you. I don't know. There was just something intriguing about you. And... I thought you were absolutely stunning. I tried to catch you before you left but I couldn't get to you in time. So I came back another night in hopes of talking to you. That night, I had this amazing conversation with this older gentleman about opening up and letting love in. It got me thinking about how I'd been behaving. Then I met you and tried to buy you a drink. And well, you know the rest".
Holding my hands now, Emily says, "This sounds crazy, but I just feel something when I'm around you that I've never felt before. It terrifies me and excites me all at once. There's a spark between us. Not just a physical one either. You just make me want to be better. I know it sounds crazy and like it couldn't possibly happen this fast. It's just for the first time in a long time, I want something meaningful. I want a relationship. I... I just like who I am when I'm around you. I want to get to know you. I want to see where this goes. I want to have these kind of conversations because that's how you grow in a relationship".
I love everything she just said to me. It felt very honest and genuine. Squeezing her hands tighter, I reply, "Well that makes me really happy to hear. No, I don't think it's creepy. Cause I feel it too. I'm scared about how much I like you already. I've never had it happen this fast before. Can I confess something to you since you've opened up to me?".
Emily smiles and nods for me to continue. "You see, I haven't been in a serious relationship for over 2 years now. I haven't even tried dating much either. I...". I can feel my throat closing up and tears begin to cloud my vision. "I haven't told anyone about this. The only people that know about it are my parents back home. It's just been too painful to talk about. To be honest, I haven't found anyone that's made me want to open up and talk about it. About two years ago, I finally ended things with my girlfriend of about a year and a half. We'd always had a heated relationship, but she'd changed overtime. She started out being emotionally abusive. Then it turned into physical abuse. You see, she was much bigger and stronger than me. She was a special forces Marine. When she came back from deployment, she'd changed so much. She began suffering from PTSD and had a horrible temper. I tried to help her through it, but she was dead set on living in her misery and not changing things so she could get better. Then the jealousy and delusions came into play. She used to think I was cheating on her even though I wasn't. She began to isolate me too. There was one night that she came home drunk, screaming and yelling at me. She thought I was cheating on her with the neighbor. When I denied it and tried to get her to sober up, she hit me. There was something different about this night. She was just so angry".
I could feel tears begin to fall down my face as I recalled this horrible memory. Emily sat closer to me and held my hands even tighter. "So she kept hitting me. She threw me up against the wall and started choking me. Emily I tried my best to fight her off, but it was no use. She was just too strong. I tried to yell for help, but I couldn't breathe. My vision started to blur and I thought I was going to die when she finally let go of me. I'm on the floor trying to catch my breath when I realized that she had gone in the kitchen and got the butcher knife. She just lunged at me and started screaming about how I was a bitch and a whore. I was nothing without her and I was an awful person for cheating on her".
My tears turn into a full blown sob, but I continue on. I can see Emily's starting to tear up too. She pulls me close to her chest and just holds me as I continue to cry and tell my story. "That's when she began to repeatedly stab me with the knife. Emily it was the worst pain I'd felt in my life. That's when the cops burst through the door and one of the cops tackled her off of me. But the damage had already been done. She'd stabbed me a total of 12 times. I was bleeding out on our living room floor and I could feel myself slipping away. I knew I was dying because I couldn't feel anything anymore. That's when I passed out. I woke up in the hospital almost 3 weeks later. The doctor's said I was lucky to be alive. They'd never seen anyone with my degree of injury survive such a vicious attack. To make an even longer story short, the jury decided to send my ex girlfriend to a mental institution instead of jail. They believed her story that it was the PTSD that made her do it. That's when my family and I made the decision to have me move away from home in Pennsylvania and change my name. Here in New York, I'm Alison Fairfield. My real name is Alison Dilaurentis. One day Emily, she will get out. And come that day, she'll come looking for me".
I feels good to finally tell someone. It's such a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Sensing I'm done telling my story, Emily kisses me on the top of my head and starts stroking my hair as she continues to hold me.
"Alison, I'm honored that you feel comfortable enough to share this part of your life with me. I am so so sorry that she did that to you and changed your life forever. I can't even begin to imagine what that feels like. I want you to know that this doesn't change how I feel about you. I still want to get to know you. I still want you in my life. I promise you, I will never treat you like that. You're safe with me" says Emily lovingly.
Here in her arms, I feel safe. I feel safe to let my guard down around her. I'm happy I told Emily about this awful chapter in my life. I'm even happier that this doesn't change things between us.