A/N - I rewrote this chapter because I didn't like the previous version - ended up going in a completely different direction.

Chapter 10 – It Hurts

Regina leant against the marble wall of her father's grave, allowing her legs to give out, sliding to a sitting position, her knees pressed under her chin. She flinched as her knee brushed her bruised jaw but didn't move. She felt her phone vibrate in her jeans pocket, not bothering to check the caller ID, she knew it was Emma; the sheriff had been calling her almost non-stop since she'd woken up this morning. She was trying to apologise for last night, but she shouldn't have to. The only reason Regina go hit, was Regina.

The mayor had made a bad situation worse because of her own selfishness. Emma thought she loved Regina, and in this world, what Emma felt probably was love. But that was unacceptable, so she'd asked Emma to be friends, because even though being around her hurt, not having anything to do with her would be so much worse. Last night, getting hit was Regina's fault, and she deserved it.

So she'd run to her father again, because that's what she always did, because Daddy made it better. Accept with Daniel, he didn't, couldn't make that better. If he couldn't then, how could he now? How could he make anything better when his heart was cinders on a bonfire in another world?

"I screwed up," Regina whispered into the air, wondering how things had gotten so bad in a matter of weeks. "I love her." He already knew that, she'd told him every Wednesday since she'd admitted it to herself. But she told him again anyway, because she told him everything, and she hadn't told him the rest of it yet.

"She loves me too," Regina closed her eyes leaning her head back against the cool marble, hearing that cruel voice that had been whispering in the back of her head ever since she'd kissed Emma for the first time reminding her she doesn't love you. "Not true love, but she thinks it is," She couldn't tell her father anything more, because she couldn't tell herself. So she skipped to the excuse she'd been using instead. "We'd be home if it was."

Emma loved her, in a way that was real and magical and all of the things that true love felt like, but it would go away. It would fade. Not today; not next week, maybe not even next year, but the feeling would fade until she didn't think of Regina all the time, she didn't feel sick when she thought about other people touching her. That wasn't true love.

True love never went away; it was end game. You have one true love, and once you find them, you will never care for anybody else even a half as much as you care for them. True love stays with you until you die, probably even after that.

"I love Daniel," Half admitting the real reason for all of this; not quite saying that by loving Emma, she was betraying Daniel. By saying she loved Emma; she was saying that what she felt for Daniel was what Emma felt for her. Real, and magical and wonderful, but not true. Her feelings for Daniel didn't go away, but they faded, when Emma came into her life, the idea of being with someone who wasn't Daniel didn't seem so nauseating anymore.

"It hurts Daddy," Regina echoed the words she had whispered to her father so many years ago, watching a wooden box disappear under shovels of earth. It hurt that she was betraying the a man who had done nothing but love her, it hurt that Emma didn't love her anywhere near as much as Regina loved Emma, it hurt that her father wasn't here to make it all better, it hurt that that was her fault. It just hurt.

"When did everything get so fucked?" Regina rarely swore, but she couldn't find any other adjective that described the situation more accurately. For the first time since she got here, Regina felt the very real desire to be at home. She just wanted her father to put her arms around her and tell her that everything would be ok; that she could be happy.

"I just wanted to be happy," Regina sob-snorted, looking up at the ceiling, every time she tried to be happy, somebody got hurt. Whenever she tried to look after just herself, her feelings, someone else had to be in pain. Daniel had to die because she wanted to be happy, Emma was unhappy because of Regina. "Maybe Henry was right; I'm not allowed a happy ending."

"That's not true," Regina didn't look away from the spot on the ceiling, didn't move as Emma came further into the mausoleum to sit with her. They sat in silence for a while, Emma close enough that her knee brushed against Regina's. Emma was staring at her jaw; Regina could feel her eyes on the ugly purple bruise, amateurly hidden with foundation and concealer. "Does it hurt?"

"Not as much as the bite," Regina smiled slightly, still not looking at Emma, unconsciously grazing her hand over the still healing wound on her shoulder. Emma's expression became even more forlorn as she remembered that night.

"I'm sorry," Emma said, stretching out her legs and looking at her hands, Regina shook her head, keeping her gaze on the ceiling.

"Don't," She whispered, "I deserved it, both times," now it was Emma shaking her head, she turned so that she was kneeling, facing Regina.

"No, you didn't." She grabbed Regina's hand and held it with both of hers, willing Regina to look at her, she didn't. "I'm not trying to replace him," she said, her voice solemn and earnest, apparently Emma had been listening to Regina talk to herself for a while before speaking up.

"Who said you could?" Anger shot through Regina, but it was directed at herself; Emma wasn't trying to replace him, wasn't trying to make Regina care for her more than she'd cared for him, it was just happening. That wasn't Emma's fault.

"No one," Emma soothed, "I just meant," She didn't know what she meant, she had just wanted Regina to stop crying, she wanted to make it better. "You're not betraying him by being with me," she said, gently placing her hand over Regina's chin, pulling her face down so that she could look into her eyes.

"Yes I am," Regina was expressionless, if it weren't for the blackened tear tracks running down her cheeks; you wouldn't know she had been crying, "This," Regina threw her hands up, "All of this was for him," How could she justify any of this if Daniel wasn't her true love? Daniel died because of her.

"If he loved you…"

"He loved me," Regina insisted, her voice venomous, Emma held up her hands, wanting to slap herself for her choice of words.

"Then he'd want you to be happy," She leaned towards Regina, maintaining eye contact as she bought tilted her head to bring her lips closer to Regina's. "You deserve to be happy." Regina turned her head away, so that Emma kissed her on the jaw. She winced from the pain; Emma pulled back and bit her lip. "Seriously!"

"I can't," Regina said, "We need to stop, because I can't Emma," She looked back at Emma, tears starting to fall again. She'd called her Emma, her voice was hoarse from crying, and she sounded so broken, but she'd called her Emma. Tears welled up in Emma's eyes as she looked at Regina, thinking about her 'super power' that let her see when people were lying; wishing that Regina was lying right now.

"But you want to," Emma could see it in her eyes, in the hand that Regina was letting Emma cling to, but no matter how much Regina truly wanted to be with Emma, emotionally, physically, she just couldn't. Daniel had been the only person in her life that had loved her with no obligation to. He was willing to run away, leave his family, his life behind because he loved her; he died because he loved her, truly loved her. She couldn't stand the thought that he had died in vain; for a love that would fade eventually, maybe not ever really go away, but dim enough for her to love someone else.

"I can't." Regina said again, looking down and clutching the ring around her neck tightly. Emma nodded, looking at Regina's hand, through it and at the ring it was holding.

"I know," She bought Regina's face up again; she held Regina's face in place as she gently kissed her one last time. "I know," She whispered again as she pulled away, she stood on shaky legs, and left the mausoleum, not letting go of Regina's hand until she absolutely had to.