Viktor had never expected to hear the name of Yuuri's biological mother in Shanghai. Even in Japan, Mari had only mentioned her in passing, and only as Toshiya's wife. The only reason Viktor even knew the woman's name was because Mikhail mentioned her a few times to them while they were growing up, usually when showing them the wedding photo on the mantle.

"Her name was Katsuki Yumi," he'd said, pointing her out at Toshiya's side. She was dressed in the traditional garb of a Japanese bride, a large, white cowl over her head, her face painted the same shade and her lips cherry red. Vitya had always thought that she'd looked like a doll. Her eyes, the same shade as Yuuri's, were oddly blank.

But Yuuri had, for a time, been infatuated with the photograph. It was the only one of his mother by birth, and even though Katerina sometimes looked sad, she never begrudged him the long glances and curious expressions as he tried to commit Yumi to memory. As Yuuri grew older, and as Mikhail ran out of answers to give him, he eventually got over his need to know.

Now, however, Viktor recognized the burning curiosity in Yuuri's eyes, even while his expression remained carefully neutral.

"Tak, vse, krome Vitya - vyshli naruzhu," he ordered in Russian.

"Da, ser."

Antona, Petya, Alyosha, and Roma all bowed slightly and left the room.

"You knew Katsuki Yumi?" he asked Liuxian in English once they were gone. Viktor appreciated the switch; his Japanese wasn't advanced enough to keep up with the entire conversation.

Ji Liuxian merely stared at Yuuri for another long moment before he replied.

"Yes, and no," he said simply. His English had the same slow cadence that his Japanese did. "I knew Yumi-san, but I knew her as Okukawa Yumi, the eldest daughter of the Okukawa group." He turned to the man who had opened the door for them and barked an order in Chinese. The guard flipped a switch, turning on an ambient light overhead before he left the room and closed the door.

"Feel free to sit," Liuxian said, gesturing at a couple of sofas grouped around a table. He didn't bother to wait for the them to do so before he sat down himself, tapping his cigar against a ready ash tray on the glass table. As the three of them took their seats, he leaned back into the sofa, his eyes still firmly on Yuuri. His interest in the pakhan was making Viktor feel unnerved.

"I didn't know that Father's wife was an Okukawa. Our relations with them are strained for some reason," Mari said when the older man didn't make any move to continue the conversation.

"That would be Yumi-san's doing," he said, leaning his elbow on the arm of the sofa. "But before that, why did you come all the way to Shanghai, Katsuki Yuuri, Katsuki Mari?"

"As we said over the phone, we're trying to find the people responsible for my father's... for Katsuki Toshiya's death," Yuuri replied.

"Why now?"

"Because," Yuuri said as he lit a cigarette and took a drag. "We have reason to believe that the same entities are responsible for the murder of Mikhail Nikiforov."

Liuxian raised an eyebrow.

"Mikhail died three years ago, if my sources are correct."

"You're right," Yuuri said. "My father was killed at the age of 45. Shot once, through the head, three years ago. We never found the assassin."

"Why investigate again now?"

"Because we found something during a raid last month, and because my mother is on her deathbed and she wants to know the truth before she dies."

"Katerina Ivanovna?" he asked, looking genuinely shocked. "The Silver Devil?"

"It's been a long time since I've heard her called that," Viktor chuckled. "Unfortunately, yes. Mother is fighting pancreatic cancer. The doctors say it's too late to hope for a recovery."

"Mother? Then you must be Viktor," Liuxian said, focusing on Vitya as though he were noticing him for the first time.

"Yes, Ji Lóngtóu."

"Heh, how lucky," Liuxian snorted, his tone sarcastic. "The heirs to every mafia family in our alliance, all here in one room... minus my own, of course."

Viktor thought he sounded unusually bitter, considering his son was supposed to be taking over the Ji family in Hong Kong.

"What did you find?" Liuxian asked Yuuri brusquely.

"A letter from my father, in code. When we deciphered it, we learned he was investigating Toshiya's death himself. And he mentioned something we think you can help us with."

"What would that be?"

Yuuri blew a cloud of smoke, tapping his jaw with his finger lazily. His eyes were dangerous, cold and sharp as steel.

"What do you know about 'Agape', Ji Liuxian?"

From the moment Yuuri first tasted blood, there was nothing he liked more than to watch Nikita at work.

It wasn't just his bloodlust, or even the visceral shock and pleasure that came with it; in Yuuri's eyes, Nikita was an artist, and every time he brought the boy with him on his assignments for the next two years, Yuuri was spellbound.

He was too young to participate, too small to protect himself, but he watched, and he learned. He learned that there were many ways to kill, that you could inflict very specific kinds of pain depending on what limbs you severed, and what organs you pierced. He learned that mercy was for honorable deaths, for enemies who had no choice but to fight you, and that there were ways to make spies talk that would make any normal person's blood curl.

Shooting someone in a limb was an effective way to prevent them from getting away. Shooting someone in the stomach was to drag out a long, painful death, usually for torturing information out of someone. Cutting off fingers and toes worked well here too, though sometimes it was more effective to break the bones in as grotesque a way as possible so as to frighten the victim, or those who might be watching.

Slicing off skin, flaying someone, was reserved for particularly nasty punishments. Biting off people's fingers was for intimidation, and you weren't supposed to swallow the blood if you could help it. Branding and burning were usually used on repeat offenders, against enemies who ignored warnings and continued to encroach on Nikiforov territory. There were also the slower, smaller forms of torture that were meant to be used for a long process: pulling out fingernails, water torture, drowning, shallow cuts, smashing kneecaps, using drugs, phobias, everything.

At the age of thirteen, Yuuri once saw Nikita lock a man up in a room full of rats and leave him there overnight. They stayed in the building for several hours to practice Yuuri's combat skills, but it was hard to concentrate over the sound of the blood-curling screams as the victim was eaten alive.

It was the most sublime sound he'd ever heard, echoing in his ears long after they went home.

That night, Yuuri locked himself in his bathroom and allowed himself to explore his own body. It was the first time he'd ever experienced something sexual for his own gratification, and he was filled with self-loathing and twisted lust as he worked at himself with cold, trembling fingers, unable to hold back a cry as he came in his hands.

He leaned against the bathroom door for nearly an hour afterward, staring up at the ceiling with his stomach aching.

I'm disgusting... This isn't normal, it's sick...

When he finally forced himself to get up and go to bed, he dreamed he was the one trapped in the room, with rats crawling over him, eating his flesh away. He screamed.

Vitya! Vitya!

A pair of blue eyes were shining in the darkness, staring down at him with barely concealed disgust.

"You deserve this,"they said. "You're so fucked up, you actually got off on someone going through this."

I didn't mean to! I couldn't help it, my body just-!

"Liar. This isn't the first time you've gotten hard from watching Nikita hurt people. You like it. You enjoy it. Just because you touched yourself this time doesn't make it any less horrible that you've wanted to all along."

I... I know, I'm disgusting!

"You deserve to die."

I know... I know that!

The eyes blinked, and the voice changed.

"But it felt good, didn't it?"

Yuuri shut his eyes, trying to forget.

No, no!

The voice laughed. "It felt good because it was horrible. Viktor is right, Yuratchka. You do deserve this, but that doesn't mean you have to hide your desires. Look, even now, even while you're screaming, you're still excited."

N-No! That's not true!

"Poor, dirty, pathetic Yuratchka... It's alright," Nikita crooned. "We're going to hell anyway. May as well enjoy it."

When Yuuri woke up, teary eyed and covered in sweat, there was something wet and sticky in his boxers.

Yuuri relished the look on Liuxian's face. It wasn't quite surprise, but he could tell that the former boss wasn't expecting such a straightforward question.

"Where did you hear that name?" he asked, his calm voice strained.

"In the letter, as I just said," Yuuri said, idly turning the wedding band on his finger. "My father was writing to an old friend for information on something called 'Agape,' and he seems to have thought that there was a connection with Toshiya. Unfortunately, it seems he was being very cautious about putting too much in writing. We tried to follow up on it ourselves, but our intel so far has come up with nothing."

"Why not ask the person the letter was addressed to?"

"They're dead," Yuuri said simply. "Killed shortly after my father. The letter was in the hands of one of his close associates, though he didn't have any useful information."

I should know, I personally tortured him for it.

Liuxian sighed. Somehow, he seemed to grow older and wearier as he did, sinking back into the sofa.

"I'm tired of this," he said, pulling his glasses off and wiping the lenses on his shirt. He placed them back on his nose, and the look he gave Yuuri was very different from all the stares he'd received so far. It was the sort of look Vitya sometimes had, when they were alone.

Tenderness...? he thought, perplexed.

"So much like Yumi-san," Luixian muttered. "And so different, as well... I suppose there's no point in playing these diplomatic games anymore."

"Then you'll tell us what you know?" Mari asked, leaning forward in anticipation.

The old man nodded. "I will, but it isn't much, I'm afraid."

"Anything will help at this point," Yuuri said.

"Right." He took a deep breath, his eyes still on Yuuri. "I don't suppose you remember me, Yuu-chan?"

"Very faintly. I remember a foreigner coming to our house... there was a boy about my age."

"Qigang. My eldest."

"Eldest? Wasn't there a one-child policy in China?" Mari asked, confused.

"Yes, but there were many exceptions and loopholes. The Ji Family was wealthy enough to be one of them, though it wouldn't have mattered. Qigang died."

An odd note of sympathy settled in Yuuri's throat. He hardly remembered the details, but he was sure he and the boy had played together. It was somehow sad to think that a child he'd actually been friendly with was dead.

"Oh," he said. "My condolences."

"Hearing that, from you of all people, is... difficult," Liuxian said, looking away pointedly. "You have no fault in what happened, but Qigang saved your life."

"He... what?"

"You really don't remember, do you?"

Yuuri could feel the resentment in the air, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't recall anything beyond the inferno on the night his father died.

"I only remember the fire... the next thing I knew, I was in a hospital in Russia."

"I was the one who sent you there," Liuxian said flatly. "I was also the one who paid for your treatment for the two months before that."

"What?!" Yuuri had never heard this before, and he was sure that Vitya had never been told either. A quick glance in his direction confirmed it; his eyes looked rather lost. Either Katerina had forgotten, or never known, or had decided not to tell them for some reason or another.

"I smuggled you out of Japan, as a favor to Yumi-san and Toshiya. You and Qigang were the same age, and by luck, you looked alike. We used his identity to get you into China and hide the fact that you were alive."

"The child..." Mari said suddenly. "The body they found in the fire, the one we thought was my brother...! That was your...?!"

A pained expression came over Liuxian's eyes.

"I was too late by the time I found him," he said quietly. "I meant to take his body with me, at least, but then I found Yuu-chan. He was dying... He had terrible burns, he'd inhaled too much smoke... He would have died if I hadn't gotten him out. But obviously the Katsukis were being targeted, and I didn't want to risk taking him to a hospital as Toshiya's son, so I brought him in as my own... I had to leave Qigang behind."

"But... why would you do something like that?" Mari asked, clearly upset. "I mean, I'm grateful you saved Yuuri, but your son...!"

He closed his eyes, grimacing for a moment before answering.

"As much as it pained me to abandon my son's body... I did it because Yuu-chan is Yumi's child."

Viktor stood outside his uncle's study, his nerves running high. He'd been trying to work up the courage to do this for weeks, and it was only the prospect of running out of time that brought him downstairs despite all his misgivings.

Okay, you can do this... You're Viktor Nikiforov. Everyone looks up to you, everyone thinks you're amazing. You do your own thing and everyone else follows.

He swallowed, taking a deep breath. Even if you don't do this, they'll find out you're a coward anyway. Better to be alive and afraid than dead.

Steeling himself, he turned the knob; unlike Mikhail, Valya didn't mind being interrupted by his family while he was at work. His office was located on the first floor, next to Aunt Lena's flower shop, and it was very different from the office Viktor recalled from his youth in St. Petersburg. It was small and crowded and had no windows. There were a few shelves for some books and keepsakes, and a simple wooden desk. Other than the photographs hanging on the white walls, it was a simple, utilitarian space, well suited to Valentino's personality.

He looked up from a letter when his nephew opened the door.

"Vitya? What is it?" he asked, looking somewhat concerned. "Did something happen to Chris?"

"No, Chris is fine," Vitya said, shaking his head. His cousin was still resting after the surgery to remove the bullet in his shoulder, but he was looking more energized every day. He would be back to his flamboyant self soon enough. "I... I have something... important to talk about, Uncle..."

Valentino frowned, but motioned for him to close the door and come forward. Viktor did as he was asked, brushing the hair from his eyes nervously.

"What's this about?"

Vitya bit the inside of his cheek, then decided to throw himself to the wolves.

"I... I want to leave the bratva."

His uncle stared disbelievingly at him.

"What?"

"I want to leave. I'm not cut out for this life," he said, more firmly now that he'd made up his mind.

"What are you talking about, Vitya?! You were born for this, raised for it! You're Mikhail's heir! The next pakhan! Even if you weren't, no one just leaves the bratva! Are you out of your mind?!"

"No, I'm not. I love this family, Uncle. I love you, and Aunt Lena, and Chris, and I love all my brothers in the ranks. But I can't do what they need me to do to keep them alive. I can't kill, I just... can't. Chris could have died, and it was all because I couldn't kill that kid. Next time, he might not be so lucky."

"Don't be a fool, boy," Valya growled. "No one is born a killer. We all go through doubt and fear and guilt; don't make yourself out to be special. You aren't. I went through this. My men went through this, even Chris went through this. You are a fantastic vor, Vitya, even if you haven't dirtied your hands yet. You've known the stakes all your life, this is what we are. Don't throw your future away over something stupid."

"I'm not throwing it away. Continuing in the family will only get me or my brothers killed. I don't want to be responsible for anyone else's death, ever."

Valya slammed his hands on the desk and stood up. "I've had it up to here with your selfishness, Viktor Mikhailovich! This is not about you! Mikhail sent you to me so I could raise you into his successor, not so you could decide to walk away when you're done playing! You are not leaving!"

"I'll leave if it damn well pleases me!" Viktor shouted back, anger clouding his judgement. "I didn't ask for this life, it isn't my fault I was born into it! I'm not the same as someone who chose to become a shetsyorka! I don't care if I have the talent, and I don't care if Father is disappointed in me; I'll choose my own life, and I want nothing to do with thieves and murderers!"

He wasn't prepared for the heavy slap across his face. His uncle struck him hard with his open palm, his eyes blazing with fury. Viktor's stared wide-eyed with shock as he pressed a hand to his stinging cheek. It hurt.

"Get out."

"Wh-what?"

"Get. Out. You want out of the family? Fine. You are no longer a Nikiforov. Get out of my house before I shoot you, Viktor Mikhailovich."

Vitya didn't need to be told twice. He didn't think about the fact that he was an eighteen year-old senior with two months left until he graduated, or about the fact that he had no income or place to stay. He didn't doubt for a moment that his uncle wouldn't keep his word, so he hurried to pack a bag for himself and Makkachin as quickly as he could. Once he had his dog on a leash and pulled on a jacket, he stepped out into the night, no longer sure what he was doing, or if he'd done the right thing.

All he knew was that he no longer had a place to call home.

"What does my mother have to do with it?" Yuuri asked sharply.

"Everything. Agape as well," Liuxian said, sighing. "But I guess it won't make sense unless I start at the beginning."

He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and passed it across the table to Yuuri. Vitya craned his neck to get a closer look; it was a photograph of a young woman in a kimono, and Viktor suddenly understood why Liuxian insisted that Yuuri looked like her. It was obvious, even if they hadn't shared the same eyes and hair. From the shape of his nose to the rounded, feminine face, Yuuri could have passed for this woman's twin brother.

And it was more than the physical attributes. While the photo of her in her wedding attire had made her look like a passive doll, this photo was expressive and bright. Yumi was smiling, the same, innocent, trusting smile Viktor had known growing up, the same smile he now very rarely managed to coax out of his husband. But there was also grace and nobility about her; a strength that Yuuri had lacked as a child, but that he now carried himself with at all times.

"She was sixteen in that photo," Liuxian said as Yuuri handed the picture to Mari. "Okukawa Yumi, the eldest daughter of the Okukawa group... and my fiance."

"Yours?!" Mari stared incredulously at him. "But, my father-"

"She married Toshiya, yes. But we were engaged before that. Our families were allied, in the past, and Yumi-san and I were promised to each other since we were children. We often spent the summers at each others' homes, so I knew her very well.

"She was, as you can see, a beauty, but she was a fiery one. She was never one to sit still and wait for things to happen, and she was proud of her heritage. Perhaps a tad too proud," Liuxian chuckled fondly. "She once challenged me to a fight with bamboo swords for saying that the Okukawas would be nothing without the Ji family. Beat me within an inch of my life. As you can imagine, I was madly in love with her."

Viktor would have supplied a witty quip, but he realized he would be a hypocrite if he did. As they say in America, I would be a masochistic pot calling a kettle black.

"So how did she end up married with Toshiya?" Yuuri asked, clearly interested in his mother's past.

"The Okukawas had a long-standing feud with another family based in Kyushu. The Nishigoris. Back in those says, the Nishigori group was encroaching on Okukawa territory. It was a nasty business, just short of a real war. Unfortunately, my father had no wish to get involved with internal Japanese power struggles. When the Okukawa group reached out to us for help, he refused, and the alliance was broken, along with my engagement to Yumi-san.

"I heard she was engaged to Toshiya soon after; his father had provided the aid the Okukawas needed to beat back their rivals and struck up a new alliance between them. She was eighteen when they married. A friend of mine sent me a photo, and what I saw broke my heart. Yumi-san was unhappy; I could tell that she didn't care a whit for her husband, and I don't think Toshiya cared much for her either. You're the living proof, Mari-chan," he said, gesturing at her.

"I saw it," she admitted. "My father was clearly in love with my mother, and he would always make an excuse to come visit us. I heard that his wife was livid when she found out; one of my men who was around back then says she couldn't believe Toshiya would pick a chubby, simple girl who worked at an onsen over a traditional Japanese beauty. I never met her but that was enough for her to rub me the wrong way," she snorted.

"That sounds like her, yes," Liuxian laughed. "She was, as I said, very proud. A few years after she'd been married, the Okukawas tried to take her back."

"Take her... back?" Viktor asked, perplexed.

"They wanted to invalidate the marriage to the Katsuki clan. I happened to be in Hasetsu when this happened. The Okukawa group wasn't very clear about why they wanted to suddenly break the alliance, but I found out later that Toshiya had refused to back a drug deal the Okukawa family was working on with an international group. That's when I first heard about Agape."

"It's a group?" Mari asked, bemused.

"It was," Liuxian said. "They've long since disappeared off the radar, though I have no idea why. Back then, they were apparently trading in illegal substances. High quality drugs, liquid mercury, weapons, everything. There was even a rumor about a sex-slave trade."

"None of that sounds out of the ordinary with what we do," Yuuri pointed out.

"Right. I can't say what made Toshiya refuse to deal with them. Whatever it was, it upset the Okukawas, and they demanded Yumi-san come back.

"I was visiting with the Katsukis, trying to negotiate a new alliance. I won't lie; I was hoping to see Yumi-san again, and the alliance was just an excuse to be connected to her in some way. But proud as she was, she wouldn't have a thing to do with me. And she wouldn't have a thing to do with the Okukawas either. She was furious when they demanded she return.

"'I'm not an object you can throw back and forth when you find a new use for me!' she said, right in her father's face. He tried to reason with her, using the fact that Toshiya had a mistress against her, but she actually had the nerve to spit at him. She told him she didn't give a shit if Toshiya had a hundred whores, that she'd spent the last few years cementing her place as the Katsuki matriarch and that she wasn't about to give up her hard work and pride on her father's whim.

"He didn't get to say anything in return. She pulled a knife from her sleeve and without so much as a warning she cut off all her hair and threw it at him.

"'If you want Okukawa Yumi back, that's the only part that's left of her. Everything else is mine, and I no longer have anything to tie me to you. I am a Katsuki, and you are an intruder. Get out of my house.'"

As Liuxian finished his story, Viktor found himself aghast.

THAT was Yuuri's mother?! She wasn't like him at ALL! The Yuuri I knew in the past was a sweet, kind, cute little boy... but Katsuki Yumi sounds far more like the Yuuri today than the little brother who arrived in Russia...

Yuuri laughed.

"I like her," he said, grinning. "I'm somewhat disappointed I never got to meet her; I took after my father, but perhaps that was only because she was never around to influence me," he noted, echoing Viktor's thoughts.

"She was certainly special," Mari muttered. Liuxian held out his hand for the photograph and she returned it.

"The Katsukis and Okukawas cut their ties after that. And about a year later, you were born, Yuu-chan. I heard that Yumi-san and Toshiya got along better towards the end; whatever it was, you were the result, and Yumi-san unfortunately passed away birthing you. She named you though."

"Did she?"

"'Yuuri' for courage. It was something she always had in spades; I'm sure she wanted you to have at least that from her."

Yuuri's expression was purposefully blank, but Viktor could see that there was something glinting in the depth of his eyes. Sadness... I think...

"You said Yumi had everything to do with Agape," Mari said quietly. "But I don't see the connection, Liuxian."

"Well... it seems that one of her dying wishes was for Toshiya to refuse all dealings with the Okukawas and with Agape. At the time, it sounded like it was a personal grudge, but over the years, Toshiya began to wonder if there was something she knew that he didn't. Yumi-san ran an incredibly detailed spy network, and the Katsuki clan suffered from her loss. Unfortunately, she was very thorough; she destroyed nearly all the information that passed through her hands, which made it hard for Toshiya to investigate.

"Why do you know this?" Yuuri asked cautiously.

"Because Toshiya told me himself. He invited me to Japan, saying that he wanted my help in finding out what Yumi-san might have known. I knew her better than anyone, so he thought I might understand her codes and methods. He was very interested in Agape when I arrived with Qigang, but unfortunately we never managed to go through Yumi-san's records."

"The fire," Yuuri supplied, his tone flat. Liuxian nodded sadly.

"The fire."

When Yuuri was fourteen, he began to take a more active role as Nikita's student. He was taught how to shoot, how to negotiate and intimidate, and how to tell the difference between quality cocaine and the kind with filler. He was shown how to tell when a drug deal was going to go badly, how to find runaway prostitutes and work with the police, and how to command his underlings. He learned how to command an operation, how to order an assassination, how to remove evidence and leave no trace. He was also taught how to use Nikita's tools of the trade first hand.

"You seem different, Yuuri," Nikita noted as Yuuri cleaned the blood off his arms using the towels in the trunk one evening. He gave the boy an appraising look, nodding to himself. "Yes, something is different," he repeated, taking Yuuri's chin and turning it thoughtfully.

"I haven't grown much taller," Yuuri said quietly. His voice had begun to change, but he remained shorter than most of his classmates.

"It's not that..." Nikita put a hand to his lips, obviously lost in thought. His blue eyes wandered up and down Yuuri's body, and he suddenly felt very self conscious. Lately, Nikita had been treating him differently, more seriously and less like a child. Yuuri both welcomed and feared the change; while he craved Nikita's approval and attention, he was also frightened of what it meant for Nikita to give that approval.

The more he praises me, the more disgusting I feel... but I can't stop looking for it...

He needed Nikita to tell him he was becoming useful. He needed to hear that there was ultimately a reason to his horrible desires, that while he was a dirty, twisted dog, he still had a place at Viktor's side.

He needed to be told he was beautiful, and only Nikita could tell him that, because only Nikita was tainted and depraved enough to see the beauty and pleasure in filth and pain.

Just like me.

During the drive home, Nikita kept muttering something under his breath that Yuuri wasn't quite sure he was hearing correctly.

It sounded an awful lot like the phrase "You aren't like Agape," repeated over and over again.

Notes:

I am dying, holy shit. I'm really exhausted, so I'll be taking a week off between this update and the next. That means I probably won't start writing the next chapter until next week, so I hope this is enough to tide you over.

There is also a set of drabbles that I wrote to accompany the main story. They're all canon, though out of order on purpose. Some of them may show up in the future, though fleshed out, and you can find the set in my works under "Never Let Me Go"

As always, thank you so much for reading and enjoying this story! I hope to hear from you soon~

Translation Notes:

1) "Tak, vse, krome Vitya - vyshli naruzhu." = "Everyone except Vitya, wait outside."

2) "Da, ser." = "Yes, sir."

3) Lóngtóu - The title for a Chinese mafia boss. Liuxian is retired, but Viktor is trying not to step on any toes since he's technically a subordinate.