It was about a week later when Lovino decided to climb into Feliciano's bunk for once since the view at the top bunk was less accessible than on the bottom bunk. That meant that the guards wouldn't see them together up there if they just so happened to walk by, which was rare anyways. But just to be safe, they hid themselves up on the top bunk and cuddled there.

Feliciano immediately curled up to him, a content smile on his face and a yawn to boot. It was reflex now every time they laid down together. It was like they were magnets.

Lovino did as he always did and winded both of his arms around his frame, one hand placed on the crook of his back so he could pull him closer if needed and the other at his hip. It was practically routine when he kissed his forehead and then his lips, those lips pressed firmly and knowingly to his as though he was never going to tear their mouths apart ever again.

Every time it made Feliciano's heart flutter, knowing that he was able to share these moments with the most important person in his life—what remained of it. He always gladly and gratefully accepted each kiss as if it were their last (which with their current position in life, neither knew when that last kiss would be), and returned each and every one with one of his own or a loving nuzzle. Sometimes he felt too tired to do anything but hug Lovino close, but he would always allow a couple of kisses before he fell asleep during those times.

For a long time they just stayed like this, holding each other and giving each other long kisses, Feli's fingers clutching the sleeves of Lovino's jumpsuit as if letting go of him would mean him disappearing forever, and he was definitely not ready to let go of him. He would never be ready to release him so long as they both lived.

The only thing that changed was how they laid themselves on the bed with the occasional shift of their arms or legs curling around one another to bring their bodies closer. Their hands never left their original positions as they were much too comfortable with feeling each other like this.

But the most delightful part of the kisses for Lovino was Feliciano's soft, delicate lips against his own. He'd never imagined him being this good at kissing, the way his breaths slid across his cheek and how he moved against him so... naturally. It was like they were meant to fit together like this.

It was probably because of that natural feeling of being so casual with each other now that Lovino just absently started to actually move his hands this time. The one on Feli's hip moved to the small of his back, pulling him closer against Feli's front, before it began traveling up and bracing Feliciano for a slow roll onto his back. Lovino kissed him more fervently with the change of position, laying himself halfway onto Feliciano's body while doing so.

This new position wasn't as comfortable, though Feliciano wasn't about to tell him to get off and leave him alone because he still loved that loving feeling of their lips close together, that breath tingling his skin, and those hands running over his back made him feel closer to Lovino. He could at least trust him with this much affection.

Then Lovino became daring and much more feverish than ever before. He slithered his hand between their hips and began massaging his groin, pressing into the sensitive skin and expecting him to start moaning, mewling, or pulling his lips away to drawl out his name and lean into his touch. He expected him to beg for more, but that didn't happen.

He didn't make a slight noise of pleasure at all.

Feliciano's little sounds of surprise and eventual protest were muffled against bruising lips as Lovino kept on, and he found himself breathing heavily through his nose to just catch his breath. His chest felt heavier with Lovino lying atop him and his natural instincts kicked in, starting him into what would become a panic attack. Flashbacks of that day in the showers came back to him, memories of the tightness in his chest as the thugs held him down with great force, thoughts of when he felt like he couldn't breathe because of an oncoming panic attack and fear… finally he used a bit of force to push Lovino off of him, gasping for breath as his arms trembled under Lovino's unsure weight.

And Lovino assumed it to be a joke, like Feliciano was trying to deny the both of them that pleasure that would supress the many months of not being touched or stroked or anything. Well, on Feli's part it was years because he was still a virgin and the thugs had somehow known that without even knowing him or who he was. They just assumed—everyone seemed to assume he wanted to be touched.

So Lovi started sucking on the nape of his neck instead of pushing himself off, because all he really wanted to do was touch his warm skin, strip him of the jumpsuit so it could just be him as Feliciano with no reminiscence of the prison for a few hours, and then melt away his heart into the night as they made love.

He absolutely wanted to make him his own before their time was up, the last bit of electricity that charged the clock that tracked his life being used on the electric chair that would end it.

But his request was denied yet again as Feliciano pushed him off with more force this time.

"Lovi, please don't," he heard the younger man whisper, those hands pressing firmly into his shoulders to keep him away, shaking a little. "I'm not ready to go that far."

Naturally, the first thought that came to Lovino's mind was the virgin thing again. "Not ready to give up your virginity yet?"

For some reason that evaded him, Feliciano didn't put on that cute little shy blush he usually gets, but glared at him.

"What? You… you are a virgin, aren't you?" he asked, not so sure of his assumption anymore.

Feliciano pushed him further off of himself and sat up, putting space between them. "Get off my bunk, Lovino."

"Feliciano, wh—"

"Get. Off."

"But—"

"You just have to take a crack at that, don't you? Well, guess what, I'm not a virgin. I'm just scared. Scared that you're going to do this to me and then end up being called out to your execution, so just get off of my bunk if you're just going to make virgin jokes."

As he said this, Feli kept his eyes down, refusing to look at his almost-soon-to-be lover.

Lovino wasn't having it. Instead of listening to him, he made it out to be an act of Feliciano playing hard to get, even after waiting two months to see him again. It was ridiculous to act this way in his mind. They weren't going to have as many opportunities in their short life span, so why not take advantage of what time they had left together when it could be just them–no jumpsuits, no guards, and no prisoners.

Just bare skin, loving kisses, and a dash of moonlight from their small window.

So he rolled his eyes and murmured to him exhaustedly, "If you're so worried about me dying, then give me these last few moments to have you to myself. I saved you from those thugs, didn't I? You practically owe me."

That last sentence struck the final chord for Feliciano, his patience broken and his fuse lit.

"Owe you?" he repeated, anger already seeping into his tone. "I owe you? Here I thought you saved me because you cared about me, but no, it seems like all you wanted was a little piece of ass. Couldn't let those thugs claim it, could you?" he spat, backing himself away from Lovino into the corner of his bunk he was most familiar with all those nights he was alone and crying, wondering and praying to God that Lovino was okay. "You're disgusting, Lovino. Get out of my bed before I kick you out."

The only moving Lovino even did was rolling himself onto his stomach, arms crossed beneath himself. "Feliciano, don't be so ridiculous! I was only joking about you owing me. And hey, now that you're steaming mad, we could have some passionate hate sex. I hear that's pretty good too."

The more Lovino joked about the situation, the more disgusted and angry Feliciano was. If Lovino wasn't getting out of his bunk, he would just go to Lovino's for the night.

"You know what, Lovino?" he started as he shoved Lovino out of the way to get down from the top bunk. He stopped on the little ladder to look up at him with molten amber eyes full of anger and hurt. "Fuck you."

With that, he hopped down and threw himself onto Lovino's bunk, trying so hard to not cry into the poor excuse for a pillow.

He heard Lovino groan above him and move again so that his head was hanging over the side of the bunk as he himself had done before Lovino had been taken away. For a second he wished Lovi wasn't here so he could fume by himself for awhile, but that horrid thought was tossed away for good a second later. He didn't want him to be taken away again so he could spend nights by himself and a tear-stained pillow.

"All I wanted was for you to forget life and kiss me," Lovino whispered before returning to laying on his back with his eyes glued to the ceiling.

Feliciano didn't both addressing him, but instead clung to the pillow with the older man's scent, the same scent that had seduced him into those warm arms— No, he had to stop thinking like that. He had to stop thinking about what could have happened if he had allowed himself to be touched, if they had continued melting into each other until they were only lovers, no longer prisoners of false trials and ill fate.

This time he allowed himself to cry silently into his almost-lover's pillow.

Lovino wasn't exactly taking the tension between them well either. Thanks to the darkness, he was able to let silent tears slip down the sides of his face without anyone bothering him as to why he was crying. The reason he was crying didn't matter anymore because the reason became pointless when he heard Feliciano crying.

And maybe—just maybe—his jokes had finally gone too far.

For the first time in weeks, Feliciano and Lovino didn't bother with their morning routine of holding each other's hands and giving each other a kiss before going out of their cell to breakfast. In fact, Feliciano was the first one to the cell door, not even bothering to wait for Lovino to follow after.

Lovino didn't follow after him either and Feli didn't know why, though he was both glad and upset that he didn't. The reason why he stayed behind was to make sure his eyes were no longer red and puffy as they had been the entire night. Feliciano didn't know that he had cried too, the entire night in fact.

The boy wanted time to himself. He knew it would be too awkward between him and Lovino if they just casually went to breakfast and ate together. No, he couldn't let that happen right now. He didn't want to face Lovino, didn't want to hear those jokes he made, didn't want to see his grin, his beautiful hazel eyes that sparkled whenever Feliciano was reflected in them—

He had to mentally slap himself to stop thinking about him as he quietly asked for a guard to accompany him to a lone table. He even made sure to not be anywhere near Lovino in the line for food and to be faced away from him at his table in the corner.

Even though he made sure he wasn't near Lovino, the older Italian could still see him and could see those tear stains and red blotchiness on those cheeks that always made the younger man look like a Teddy bear, and those dark circles around those big, wondrous eyes. Again, guilt churned in Lovino's stomach, making a small choked sound release from his throat. Luckily he had just entered the cafeteria so no one could hear it.

No one even paid attention to him.

He never felt more lonely in his life.