Kim had no idea what she had been thinking; when she took her clothes of in the stables and then rode a horse like man, she didn't even consider the consequences. She should have known her father would eventually come after her since she acted so poorly at the Mankey's table. Kim just had to be smug and talk about a man dissecting a cadaver. Why did she think that would be a great response? She should have just talked about da Vinci's art, not is autopsies. She was just so mad at Josh for the way he treated her the other day that she had to go ahead and freak him out a little bit more. If it was only her and Josh, she would have said the same thing because Josh would never tell anyone what came out of her mouth. He would be too worried what other people thought because he had a genuine interest in her. Now that her parents and Josh's parents heard her and saw her, she knew her reputation just went down a few pegs.
James Possible had been furious when he saw her. At the time, Kim knew she was in much deeper trouble than missing dinner. When she got back from the Mankey's, Kim was immediately sent to her room and, like her father promised, Monique wasn't allowed to enter Kim's quarters to keep her company.
The least of Kim's problem was not seeing Monique; Kim knew word would start spreading around immediately with gossip traveling quickly. She felt as if she just ruined her reputation and her family's reputation.
She just had to be different.
Kim pressed her face into her pillow. It was more of a precaution since she didn't want anyone who could be outside her door sobbing. Hunger from missing dinner and a majority of lunch was the last thing on Kim's mind at the moment. When she felt like she wouldn't make a noise, she flipped over onto her back to let her thoughts wander away from the inevitable shunning she would receive for the rest of her life. One slip up, and that was it for her.
She'd never get married, she'd never have children, and she'd have to become an old spinster living with her parents and brothers until she died. No, she had to think of something else; Kim couldn't think of her slip-up any longer. She just needed to relax, and the whole ordeal would pass over. Of course, there was no such luck because there was a knock on the door with her mother's voice on the other side. Kim was annoyed as well as confused since Ann Possible never checked on her before. In the past, Kim had a mammy who she absolutely adored, but, unfortunately, her mammy passed away a few years ago, which was why Monique was assigned to her.
Kim sighed in the relative darkness. The sun set hours ago and Kim was forced to light a couple of candles so she wasn't in complete darkness. She wasn't ready to face the night head on with all of her thoughts swimming through her head. She wasn't afraid of the dark in slightest. The light was simply comforting her in a warm glow.
Kim ignored the knocking on her door. What was she supposed to do? Answer the door in her night clothes with her hair down and her face red and blotchy from random sobbing? Kim felt she did enough damage for the day. The last thing she needed to do was show her mother was how much of a mess she was. "Kimberly?" her mother's muffled voice came from behind the solid door. Kim rolled her tired eyes as she slowly got off of her bed and tried to make herself look presentable. She sighed heavily because it wasn't even possible at this point.
Kim dragged her feet across the floor to let her mother in. Not making eye contact, Kim went right back to her bed and sat down. Ann closed the door behind her and stood awkwardly at the foot of Kim's bed. Neither said a word to each other; Kim felt as if Ann was a stranger most of the time, the other woman not really being involved with raising her daughter other than making sure she attended the best lessons to make her out to be a lady. Kim had to stop herself from laughing at the irony.
Feeling exposed, Kim climbed underneath the covers when she noticed her mother slightly blushing. Kim never felt this exposed in front of Shego when she was climbing around in her nightgown or underclothes. It wasn't like anything important was showing, but Kim knew how the world worked as much as she disagreed with it. "Kimberly, may we talk?" Kim sat up against her pillows and nodded. Her mother was a stranger to her. She only knew her mother in formal settings, which was normal amongst her friends and their relationships with their mothers. "I want to talk about earlier today and what happened." This was the first time Kim noticed Ann held a glass of milk and bread; Kim wondered if she had to smuggle it out of the kitchen unnoticed. Ann approached the side of Kim's bed and put the bread and glass on the nightstand. She uncomfortably sat on the edge of Kim's bed.
"I apologize for my behavior today," Kim couldn't help but sniff. "It was terribly uncalled for, and I most certainly did not act like a proper lady. I deserve whatever punishments you and father have in store for me, which includes going to bed without dinner," Kim stated as she eyed the milk and bread. She didn't have much of an appetite, but the fact that her mother brought in her room baffled her.
"You should eat something. Starving you will do nothing to help the situation," Ann told her daughter. She picked up the bread and held it out to Kim. The girl took it politely and took a bite, finally feeling the hunger hitting her. She chewed slowly with her mouth closed. Her mother waited a moment before speaking again. "Kimberly, I want you to know I do not approve of what you did today. You not only embarrassed yourself, but you embarrassed the entire family name."
"I know I did," Kim bit into the bread to keep herself from letting her temper get the best of her. She was lucky her mother felt the need to come in and check on her.
"I wish to understand what caused you to act out the way you did."
"There isn't much to say," Kim shrugged. "I am not blaming Master Joshua for my actions today; however, I was already angry with him from the barbeque. He told me he did not want to marry me," Kim replied, leaving it at that. "As for riding the horse, I have no explanation." Kim wasn't about to tell her mother about Shego and how she opened up her eyes to how the world worked and how their society was flawed. She knew Ann would never understand.
"Kimberly, I would like it if you were more open with me," Ann admitted. Kim remained silent. What was she supposed to respond with considering Ann never approached her in this particular way before? The formal figure she was used to wasn't present. Kim bit the inside of her cheek; the last thing she needed was to be even more confused. "I understand we aren't particularly close," she said slowly. "But I want to understand."
"There is nothing to understand. I acted like a fool, and therefore, I am punished," Kim said as she put the bread down. She drank about half of the milk slowly because she didn't need to humiliate herself further. When Kim put the glass down, she jumped when Ann grabbed her wrist, holding her palm up to see the rough calluses that formed from all of the tree climbing. Ann's hands were the opposite. Her hands were silky smooth, which showed that she never worked a day in her life. She rubbed her thumb over Kim's rough hands and frowned.
"How is this possible?" Ann asked. "We never put you to work. Your hands feel worse than a man's."
"I don't know," Kim harshly stated and pulled her hand away from her mother's grip.
"Kimberly, I need you to be honest with me." Kim flinched when Ann put a hand on her leg. "Have you been speaking to that Miss Sheila Gordon girl?" Kim's stomach dropped, and she wished she hadn't eaten or drank half a glass of milk in that small amount of time. Her jaw dropped, not knowing how to respond. How could her mother even know this could be a possibility?
"Who?" Kim replied meekly when her mother gave her a look that demanded a response.
"I think you know who," Ann's jaw clenched, Kim's reaction being enough to tell her that she had been associating with a young woman who had one of the poorest reputations around. "There are rumors, Kimberly, and I didn't want to believe them."
"Why would you believe such rumors?" Kim queried.
"Someone saw you associating with her," Ann chimed.
"I believe I spoke to her once at the barbeque," Kim tried to convince her mother. "I was only being polite when she was introduced to me. That was all."
"I am so glad you brought that up. I heard she and you undressed yourselves into nothing but your undergarments and proceeded to climb up a tree without any issues." Ann looked down at her own hands, unable to look at her daughter as she explained the rumor, which was actually very true. Kim nervously bit her lower lip to stop herself from confessing the truth. Ann would never understand where Kim was coming from. The silence was stretched out far too long, and Kim knew she should say something to fill the silence.
"Mother, I can assure you this isn't true," she took a deep breath. "I promise you." It shouldn't have hurt to lie to her mother. She was almost glad it did since it proved her morals were still intact. At least the goodness in Kim hadn't changed when it seemed like everything else did.
"In my heart, I really hope so," Ann sighed. "If this is true, it will not only affect you, but me, your father, your brothers…"
"I don't understand," Kim mumbled to herself, but her mother overheard her, and Kim wanted to just disappear into the floorboards at that point because she was still saying things that were obvious mistakes.
"You don't understand what, Kimberly?"
"Why any of this matters to anyone." Words tumbled out of her mouth without her consent. Kim got out of bed and went to her window. She wasn't able to see anything, but she could see her reflection against the darkness. Her face was slightly puffy from her tears, her eyes slightly red, but her olive eyes looked with determination. She ran a hand through her hair to take out a few tangles until she was satisfied with how it looked. Ann remained silent. Kim felt her mother's blue eyes staring at the back of her head. "Why do people care so much about what other people do?" Kim queried, not expecting an answer. "Mother, have you ever felt that you were just a cookie cutter of the model wife? Can you even name a unique quality that makes you different from other wives and mothers?"
"Kimberly, I think you need to take some time. Perhaps you haven't been feeling well."
"The thing is, I feel better than I have ever felt before. I know I am a little different, but being a little different makes me undesirable both as a wife and a daughter," Kim explained. "Why does this have to be so difficult? Why do people care so much as to what I do or don't do?"
"This is the way things are," Ann stood up behind her daughter. Although her mother was a little above average height, Kim was more on the petite side. Part of her wanted her mother to give her a hug, sit her down, and say everything was going to be fine. The other part of her was annoyed that her mother was one of those women who strived to be perfect based on society's wishes. "You have a few years left to make up for your mistakes. You are lucky you did this at fourteen and not sixteen."
This woman was her mother, but this woman was just as bland as the rest of them. "I think I will go to bed for the night."
"Yes, it is getting late," Ann stepped away from her. Kim blankly stared out the window at nothing, ignoring her reflection. "Good night, Kimberly. Say your prayers." Ann shut the door behind her without another word.
Kim's eyes shot wide open; she couldn't remember the last time she said her prayers. She used to do it every single night, but once she started anticipating meeting up with Shego at night, she stopped and she wasn't sure why. Kim rushed to the side of her bed and knelt at the side. She propped her elbows up onto the bed and put her hands together, bowing her head slightly. She said her prayers perfectly, reciting them as she learned them from when she was a small child.
"I am sorry, and I beg for your forgiveness for not praying to you for a while. Life has just…it's gotten very confusing. I wish I could understand why all of this is happening to me and why I'm different. Is there a reason why you made me different? Am I destined to be alone and rejected?" Kim squeezed her eyes shut and hoped for an answer. She waited and waited until her knees hurt from kneeling. "I just need an answer, a sign," Kim whispered. "A sign that I didn't ruin my life."
When no signs came, Kim stood up slowly. Her legs ached. She blew the candles out so she was in complete darkness. Looking towards the window, Kim no longer saw the reflection of flames flickering. She crawled under the covers and silently waited until she could fall asleep. She had a feeling sleep wasn't going to come easy. Her breathing was shallow, shaky. She closed her eyes to try and get her emotions in check since she didn't want to look like a little girl in the morning when her father would inevitably come to check on her.
Kim rubbed her tired eyes and hoped for a miracle. She had to have faith that everything was going to work itself out. It would be difficult, however, since the gossip about her was very true, and she wasn't sure how long she could hide her shame. Different scenarios ran through her head, all negative, making Kim's tears slide down her cheeks and onto her pillow. In every scenario she was hated, ostracized, and banned from society. She'd never marry, and her mother would look at her with worried and hateful eyes. The uncertainty made her nervous, her eyes closed to try to sleep and stop the tears. She clutched the sheets on her bed to stop from shaking. She was finally falling asleep, exhaustion taking its toll on her. She knew she'd wake up multiple times from nightmares. She could pretend all she wanted, but she really cared deeply about what was to come.
As she slipped into sleep, Kim heard Shego's voice whispering in her ear from the beginnings of a dream, "The worst they can do is disown you. It's not like you had a chance to inherit any of this even if you were perfect in their eyes."
Instead of nightmares, Kim's dreams were full of adventures with Shego, and she didn't wake up until the next morning when the sun was already in the sky.
No, this story is not dead. It lives! I'm just horrible at updating. I really take your reviews into consideration! Your reviews are so thought out and descriptive. I love them! I find they really help me improve :)
I was originally going to make Ann more understanding, but when I was researching, I found that parents were more like strangers to obey for children rather than the warm, loving relationship Kim originally had with her mother on the show. This is why Ann may seem a little out of character here and probably James.