A/N: Ok all, this note is important to read in case you're squeamish about Character Death. I haven't decided on how this is going to end. There are two endings possible here, and I feel like Sam has earned her happy ending but Brooke hasn't even come close to earning it. So this could go either way, depending on how I view the balance of it all. So, as a warning, there is a possibility of character death in the future. But there's also the chance it all ends happy, you'll just have to read to find out (I might do a canon ending, alternative ending sort of thing either way).
THE USUAL WARNING: DOMESTIC ABUSE. Read at your OWN risk.
December 18th; 6pm
Brooke was starting to get nervous about Sam coming. What if she didn't show? But equally scary was the thought of her actually showing up. Because she wasn't sure how she'd react now that she knew she loved Sam.
Sam... god what a mess this was. The situation with Sam and Devon, and then add on her own non-sisterly affections. She wasn't sure how to go about this situation. She just knew that she needed to get Sam away from Devon.
She brought her head up from staring at the ground in front of her as she heard Sam sit down beside her on the park bench. Brooke gave her a quick look over. A heavy sweater, everything all concealed. Lots of makeup. Typical Sam of the last year. How had she not seen it?
"Sam. I'm glad you came. I'm so sorry about running out on you. I'm sor..."
Sam cut her off gently, looking at her warmly. "It's alright Brooke. I understand, you have nothing to be sorry about."
"Of course I do. I love you Sam, more than you know. As much, if not more, than you love me." It was as close of an admission as she could manage.
Sam looked away and ducked her head. "Yea I'm sure. Listen, Brooke. Don't worry about telling me that. I know that there is one person who loves me."
A growl emanated from Brooke, knowing what she meant. She could actually feel her hair rise a little. "He doesn't love you Sammy. He's a monster, who needs to be put down." She immediately regretted going so strongly after Devon. All it would lead to was Sam getting pissed off and them getting in a fight. And although she loved seeing Sam all fired up, now was not the time to be fighting her.
"Please don't say that about my boyfriend," she said softly. "I love him, he loves me. You have to accept that."
Brooke was shocked at Sam's non-reaction. That was not what she was expecting. She had thought that Sam still had a little fight left in her, that Devon hadn't broken her. But maybe... maybe she was wrong. "How can I accept that Sammy? When he hurts you so? You're my Sammy, and it's killing me what he's doing to you." She almost choked on her words as they slipped out, but they came out anyways. That's just slapping her in the face with it.
"It is?" she asked, her voice seemingly hopeful and yet so scared at the same time, and Brooke almost cried at the vulnerability before her.
She gently put her arm around Sam, who was still slouched and looking down in the chair, and pulled her close to her in a hug. She kissed her on the top of her head. "Yes Sam. I would do anything to make you understand. To help you understand how you don't belong with Devon. To make you understand just how incredible a person you are. To understand just how much I love you."
She could feel Sam shake a little in her arms, presumably from crying. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore." Sam's voice was tired and pained. "I just want it all to stop."
"Shhhh. Sam, don't cry. It's alright. I'm here. I'm not letting go. I won't let anything happen to you."
They sat there for another 10 minutes, silent. Brooke was so glad about the progress that had been made with Sam opening up to her, but was at a loss for what to do from here. Finally, Sam pulled up from the embrace and looked at her. Her makeup had streaked away from the tears, revealing a very torn up face.
"Oh Sam..." Brooke intoned softly as she reached up to gently stroke the marks.
Sam immediately turned away. "Please don't." Sam would never admit this to Brooke, but she was scared that Brooke would start to see her as nothing more than a victim. Not a person, but just a victim. That was why even now she continued to hide everything she could from Brooke.
"Ok Sam." She hesitated, but then plunged ahead. "Sam, I don't want you to get angry at me. I just want to talk with this about you, ok?" Sam dipped her head in ascent. "I think you need to leave Devon and come stay with me. We don't even have to tell anyone about what he's been doing. We can keep it between you and me. And we just warn Devon off."
"I... can't," Sam says softly. "Brooke, I'm doing this for everyone. Myself, Mac... you."
Brooke resisted the urge to yell, remembering what she had just said to Sam about talking this over without getting angry. "Don't lie to me Sam. You can lie to yourself if you want, but don't you dare lie to my face about doing this for Mac and me." Still, a little of the anger slipped in.
Sam looked up at Brooke, confused. "What?"
"Maybe in some twisted way you really are doing this for yourself. He may have twisted you into believing that he was helping you, and I can't control that. But I can control the part about Mac and me." She paused. "You know how much Mac misses you? You think she hasn't noticed? Because she has. She thinks you don't like her."
"WHAT?" Sam burst out.
Brooke just continued right away, plunging on before Sam could work herself up more. "I worry sometimes that she thinks you hate her, did you know that? Everytime I'm at the house hanging out with her, she never outright says it. But she's four; she's not that hard to read."
Sam looked angrily at her, but then just deflated. "But I love her with all my heart," Sam said softly. "She's my little sister, how could I not?"
"And what about me Sam? How do you think this is for me? You're killing me here. I know you're the one he's doing this too, but it's hurting me too."
"I..." Sam stopped. "I can't Brooke. You don't understand."
"Then I'm going to tell everyone Sam. Because this has to end, before it ends permanently for you," Brooke said resolutely. If this was how it had to be, even if Sam hated her for awhile, then that was what she'd do. She had to save her.
"Please don't," Sam pleaded desperately. "You can't, you don't understand, he'll..." She stopped midsentence, her jaw working for a few seconds soundlessly before it clapped shut, and she turned her head away
Brooke got a flash of insight into Sam's mind, a step closer to understanding her point of view. "He'll do what Sam? We'll keep you safe, away from him." She gently tried to pull Sam into looking at her, but she resisted, silent for a moment. Brooke didn't push her, as she could sense that Sam was wrestling with something.
Sam finally shuddered, and turned back, looking deeply into Brooke's eyes. "I have to protect Mac and you from him Brooke... he said... he said that he'd kill you, that he'd kill Mac if I told anyone."
Brooke felt a flash of rage, but pushed it down. "Not if I kill him first."
"No, please don't. Don't go after him, he'll just hurt you. Please Brooke; promise me you'll stay away from him." Sam was looking at her desperately, her eyes pleading. There was no way Brooke could say no.
"I promise Sam. I'll stay away. But still, if we get the police involved, they'll make sure we're protected."
"He has help," Sam continued. "There's Chris, and..." she paused, debating on outing Shawn and Gary's part in this. She opted to not. What if Devon was just messing with her about that? It wasn't fair to them, unless she was sure. "... some others."
"So you know who they are right? We have to go to the police, we have to get them to help us. They can protect you, Mac, me."
Sam gently shook her head. "No Brooke, we... I can't take that chance. I'd die a hundred times to protect you. To protect Mac. If I have to take this to protect the two things I love most in life, then I will." Brooke's heart soared from Sam's acclimation. She was loved most by her beautiful Sam. She wanted to sing from the nearest mountain.
She then realized Sam had continued talking. And that Sam had said something very monumental. "What did you just say?" asked Brooke.
Sam lowered her head. "I just found out it was her. Just before meeting you."
"What did you say, Sam," Brooke asked again. She must have misheard.
"I said... I said that I would throw myself in the way of Nicole's car to have saved you that night. It was the scariest moment of my life, when I thought you had died." Brooke looked at her in shock. "Yes Brooke, it was Nicole, she just admitted it to me."
Brooke didn't answer, just stood there, mouth slackly open. This was a lot to take in.
First, Nicole was the one who hit her; very much a holy shit moment.
Second, Sam was talking with Nicole enough to have gotten this out of her; what the fuck is that about?
And third, Sam clearly cared deeply about Brooke; freaking awesome.
But this wasn't the time for these issues. Right now there was one concern, and that was Sam and Devon. "Nicole doesn't matter. You are what matters Sammy. We HAVE to go to the police Sam."
Sam immediately stood up, a little disappointed that her diversion to Nicole had failed. "Don't do this Brooke. Don't make me watch people I love die. Stay the fuck out of this, for your own good. I'm not going to the police."
"Oh, but I have to watch you die? Which you WILL Sam. And yet you won't even take the chance to save yourself, when I promise that no one will hurt Mac or me. I swear it."
Sam growled. "Don't make a promise Brooke, if you can't keep it. And you can't keep it. Stay the fuck out of my life, and it will work out best for everyone." She stormed off, and Brooke rose to chase her, but then stopped. She knew Sam. Maybe not as well as she thought she used to, but she knew her well enough to know that pushing it now would not change Sam's mind.
She needed a plan of action, she needed a sounding board. Time to spill it all.
"And then she ran off. Which leads us here," Brooke finished unsurely, staring across at Amanda.
Amanda sat across from her in their living room, 2 hours since Sam having walked out on her, her features not betraying anything. Brooke started to get un-nerved by the way Amanda was staring at her, when she finally spoke.
"Well Brooke, this is pretty fucked up. You didn't think that the rest of us needed to know this?" she asked calmly. "I know now is not the time for this, but Jesus Christ you've known for two days and you're just telling someone now?"
Brooke ducked her head. Amanda and she were alone in the house, and she knew Amanda had every right to be pissed at her, but like she said, this was not the time for this. "I know Amanda, I'm an asshole. But like I said, Sam made me promise."
Amanda rose angrily, towards Brooke, who likewise rose to face her. "Oh right, Sam, the girl whose judgement is clearly fucked up right now, pouts her lips a little and you just fall right for it, and promise her THIS? Are you insane? Or just retarded? God Brooke how could you be so stupid and naive!" She punctuated her words by pointing her finger at her and poking her hard in the chest.
Brooke's eyes teared up. "IT WASN'T LIKE THAT."
Amanda looked ready to fire back, when she suddenly stopped, and looked down at her hands. Then she looked up at Brooke. "I... look Brooke, I was out of line there. I know you didn't mean badly, but you did fuck this up. I just... I can't believe I didn't see it. And I can't believe that this is happening to Sam."
Brooke wiped away her tears. "I know. I understand, I was angry at Sam too at first. And I know I didn't handle this the best, but we can finger point and self-loathe later. Right now, we need to think about what's important. Sam."
Amanda nodded. "You're right. Both about that, and about going to the police. We have to go, with or without Sam's permission. We need to tell everyone. I'm fairly certain some mob justice might do Devon some good," Amanda finished wickedly.
"But... what about Sam? Shouldn't we try to get her to come with us? Look, I know we have to tell them one way or another, but if we do this, we take MORE control from her. And right now, she basically has no control. This situation's secrecy is the only thing that she has even a modicum of control over. She's already fucked up; let's not make it worse for her if we can. Let's give her a chance"
Amanda took on a thousand yard stare for a moment, before nodding. "You're right. One more try; give it one more try to convince her to come with us to the police." She paused, then looked at her meaningfully. "You should tell her."
Brooke looked at her like she was crazy, instantly understanding. "Now? During this?"
Amanda nodded. "Look, I think it could be the strength she needs to severe contact with Devon. That little extra push."
"Or maybe it will just freak her out and side her firmly against me?"
Amanda sighed and shook her head. "I highly doubt that. We both know how liberal Sam is. And frankly, I..." She sighed. "Look, I have my suspicions about her feelings too, if you get my drift."
Brooke stared at Amanda, but then just smirked. "Yea, our Sammy with Sapphic tendencies? Doubt it. No, that little fact will be kept quiet for now. That's my decision."
"I never said it wasn't. I think you're making a mistake, but this one is yours to make. Especially seeing as I really have no clue about the right way to go here."
Brooke shrugged. "I guess all that's left is to talk to Sam. I'm just gonna head up to my room, I... just feel like this conversation should be private."
Amanda nodded. "That's fine Brooke. I understand."
Sam sighed as she flicked through the channels yet again for the 30th time. She wasn't even really paying attention, just clicking through them, trying to distract herself. Unfortunately it wasn't really working; you'd think there would be something good on at 9pm.
BZZZTTTT.
Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and she slowly and carefully pulled it out, and saw that it was Brooke. She sighed, not really wanting to have this conversation. But she couldn't avoid it, especially not with the danger Brooke and Mac were in if Brooke told people. And she believed she really would tell people. At least Devon wasn't around right now. "Hey Brooke," she said as she answered.
"Hey Sam. Listen... have you thought about what I think we should do?"
Sam huffed loudly, trying to stress to Brooke how serious she was. "Yes, I have. Don't. Tell. ANYONE."
There was a pause on the other end. "Sammy... that's not going to happen." Brooke's voice was quiet, a bit ashamed. Sam wondered what exactly Brooke saw as shameful for her? Maybe she was ashamed of Sam? But she wouldn't ask.
"You can't. You won't. I'll never talk to you again," shrieked Sam. Panic was bubbling to the surface again, just like from the park.
"At least you'll be able to talk." Again, her voice was low and pained.
Sam didn't answer, too busy hyperventilating and trying to calm down. This was not going well. What was she going to do if Brooke spilled the story? Devon would come home and kill her, and then go for Mac and Brooke.
She diverted her effort to calming her breathing, as she could hear Brooke continuously calling for her over the phone. Brooke could wait. Her chest was starting to hurt from the excited breathing, but as it slowed the pain settled back to its normal ache.
"I'm ok," Sam finally said, to quell Brooke who seemed to be panicking.
A sigh of relief came from the phone. "Oh thank god, you were scaring me."
"I'm sorry," Sam said, genuinely sorry. She didn't want to scare Brooke. Sam was scared enough for the both of them.
"It's ok. So. Are you going to come with me to the police? I promise you, Mac will be safe. I will be safe." There was a pause, but Sam could tell Brooke had more to say. "Look Sam. This isn't all about Mac and me. There's still... your issue. With the way you see yourself. Sam you have to believe me, he's wrong. About everything. You're incredible, you're loved, and you're an amazing person. And just... come to me and I will help show you this. Come to me and I'll show you what true love is."
Sam didn't answer. For a moment, she was so elated. Brooke was basically saying she wanted to be with her!
Then reality hit. Brooke really meant that she'd just be there for her. As a family member. As a step-sister. Still, that wouldn't be so bad? She loved Brooke. Brooke loved her... in a way. Not the way she wanted. But maybe that could change.
Sam snorted. Yea, like miss paragon of hetero-sexuality would ever change.
Brooke though, obviously took the snort as denial of what she'd said. "I mean it Sam. I'll... I'll..." She stopped again, and Sam wondered what Brooke was going to say. "I really love you. You're family. Leave Devon, come be with those who truly love you. Your friends miss and love you. Don't leave us. Don't leave me."
Sam sighed on the inside. She couldn't say no to Brooke now. She had to take this chance to be closer to Brooke; to change something. She was but the moon to Brooke's earth, destined to orbit it for all eternity. Never close enough to merge, to touch; but always there.
"Alright." It was almost a whisper, so quiet that Sam wasn't sure she said it. "I'll do it."
Brooke didn't answer immediately, but Sam could hear a sniffle on the other end. "Oh thank you Sammy. Thank you so much for doing this." Sam had to admit that she was touched that Brooke was crying from joy. Or at least, that's what she presumed it was.
What if it wasn't joy, what if it was with sadness that Sam had given in? What if Brooke was just playing the good sister, the good person? What if she really didn't want Sam to leave Devon?
She pushed away the dark thoughts. "Tomorrow," Sam said again, this time not so quiet. "I'm tired tonight." She put all of her conviction into her voice. She didn't know why she cared so much about it being tomorrow.
"Sam, we should do it right now. What if he does something between then and now?"
Sam ground her teeth. Brooke was right. She should leave now, what if she slipped something to him by then? She was stupid like that after all.
Fuck it. She couldn't explain it. It was probably the masochist inside her. She blinked as that thought popped up. That's the first time in a long time that she'd thought of staying with Devon as masochistic instead of just 'good for her'. Weird.
Before Sam could reply to Brooke's statement, Brooke was speaking again. "Wait... no. This is on your terms if you're coming with me to the police Sammy. You're in control of this. Tomorrow morning."
Sam breathed a sigh of relief. "Yes. Tomorrow." She deliberately left off the morning part, which she was sure Brooke would notice. Luckily, Brooke didn't notice, or at least comment.
"Thank god. It's such a relief for you to agree. I just know that..."
Sam cut her off. "Look Brooke. Can we talk tomorrow? I'm tired and... well I just need some time to myself. But I'll call you tomorrow, mkay?"
"Ok Sammy. We can talk tomorrow." She could hear the disappointment in Brooke's voice over the way Sam was ending the conversation. But too bad for her.
"Alright Brooke. Talk to you tomorrow." She stopped for a second. "I... love you," she added awkwardly.
"I love you to Sam. Goodnight."
The phone went dead. Sam closed it and started to set it down, but before she'd put it down on the coffee table, it started to go off again.
Sam automatically answered it. "Hello?"
"Sam. It's Dr. Farginson... Jake. I'm surprised you answered."
Sam couldn't believe this guy. He really wasn't giving up. "You could have taken the hint?" Her voice wasn't cold. In fact, it was somewhat warm, more like a statement of fact.
"I'm pretty stubborn. When I see someone who I can help, I keep trying. Even if it is like ramming my head at 60kph into a brick wall." His voice was likewise warm, his comment not meant as an insult. Sam marvelled at the way he was playing her into getting his way. One thing she had to admit, he was very good at making you feel like he was your best friend.
"Well you can stop. You've won."
There was a slight pause. "What did I win exactly?" he seemed to be a bit confused. Sam almost smiled over the fact that she had one upped him.
"What do you think? Step-sis got clout you moron." She didn't know why she'd said it like that.
"Wait what? Erm nevermind! Good! Great! And here I was all ready to fight you." There was a pause. "You're not just saying this to get me off your back," he asked suspiciously.
Sam chuckled a bit ruefully. "No. I should have said this earlier though. Could have gotten rid of your two-faced ass." Again, she said it with a hint of joviality, but still somewhat serious. She then sighed. "But I guess I'm glad I didn't."
"Well... me too. I'm just glad your step-sister got through to you. Are you taking this to the police, cause... I could be helpful with that. The records and stuff. Or just as a friend."
Sam stiffened. This was going to snowball, she realized. Everyone would be all 'let me help'. Ugh. "I... No. I don't want your help. I don't need your pity or condescension. I'm going to handle this. Without you."
"Sam, you should go to the police."
Rage boiled up again at him, a common emotion associated with this doofus apparently. "Jeez, you sure don't wait long to start preaching asshole. For your information jackass, I am going tomorrow. I just don't..." She sighed. "You've done enough, ok? I need to do this myself, for myself."
Jake took a moment to answer. "Alright; I get it. Just... if you get in over your head, call me. I'm willing to do more."
"You actually care, don't you?" she asked, a little wistfully.
"Yes," he answered back strongly and unequivocally. "Of course I do."
"Well... I'm sorry for what I've put you through. For how I've treated you. But I can't say I'd have changed how I acted."
She could hear him openly laughing. "I've had way worse. Besides, looks like it's working out in the end. You can be a success story. Worth it for sure."
She smiled a little too. Maybe she would be a success. "Yea... look. Thanks for your help."
"No problem. Remember; you can call me if you need me."
"I will."
She hung up, just as she heard Devon pull up in his car. One more night with him. One more, and maybe she could make a life without him. With Brooke.
After her conversation with Sam, Brooke had gone downstairs and filled Amanda in, word for word as far as she could remember. Amanda had just smiled and shook her head when she finished the story. "Man you got it bad," she chuckled out.
Brooke had just sighed and agreed, before they had hugged and Amanda had gone upstairs to bed. She was glad that Amanda was there for her after her initial freak-out at Brooke over Sam. Amanda was even going to tell Shawn about it, which was one thing off her back. She knew that Shawn was not going to take it well, and that he would be even angrier and more out of control than Amanda had been. Angry at her over her hiding this.
She returned her focus to her present issues. And for once, it wasn't just about worrying about Sam. Scratch that, it was just a different version of worrying about Sam. It was about what she was going to do this Christmas. She didn't know if Sam would be ok with going home to the parents with all this going on. Sam might be really against that, with the spotlight being cast on her like that. But if they went to the police as they planned, she'd have a spotlight on her anyways, so maybe she wouldn't mind too much? Having Mom and Dad around could be helpful in case Devon went ballistic, and they would be really supportive. But if not, at least Shawn and Amanda were going to be around this Christmas, though Gary had already left for home. She'd talk with Sam about it she supposed. See what she wanted. She was just so glad that Sam was opening up to her, and willing to go to the police.
But there was something that worried her. She wasn't exactly the most subtle with her feelings on that phone. The only upside of the whack-job Devon had committed on Sam was that Sam wasn't thinking clearly enough to realize that she didn't only have sisterly affectations. She thought she'd covered her feelings up ok in the conversation, but who knew how well that would continue. She worried that if Sam found out how Brooke really felt about her, she might freak out and not be willing to be close to Brooke, to accept help from Brooke. And she knew that Sam would need all the support she could get in dealing with everything.
Brooke shuddered when she realized she'd just given an upside to what Devon was doing. What was wrong with her? There is no fucking upside. A foul taste filled her mouth and she quickly went to the sink, washing her mouth out, but she was interrupted by a knocking at the door.
"Coming," she called out as she went over and opened the door.
"Hey Brooke," a very nervous looking Nicole stood in front of her, looking like she wanted to be anywhere but here. Not that Brooke could blame her, since she had a feeling what was coming.
"Nicole," she said coldly. "Did you drive? Should I be searching for cover?"
Brooke could actually see Nicole gulp. "Uhhh... no. I take it Sam told you?"
"She's told me a lot of things. One of those things shows just how psychotic you really are." Nicole didn't respond, just kept looking intently at her. "What, not going to make excuses? Not going to try to say it was all a lie?"
Nicole lowered her gaze. "No Brooke. I should have told you a long time ago. But... look there is no good reason why I did it. Hell, there's not a reason good enough why I didn't admit it. I can never make it up to you, and I know I don't even deserve that chance. But I'm not here about that. I'm here about Sam."
"You know, then?" Brooke asked curtly. She suddenly remembered a conversation that she'd had with Nicole a few months ago. Immediately she reached over and slapped Nicole, as hard as she could. Nicole actually staggered from the blow. "You told me a few months ago that you know what's going on. I thought you were bluffing. You knew then. YOU KNEW THEN AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ANYONE!"
Nicole seemed to shrink down before her. "I didn't know," she begged off weakly. "I had my suspicions at the time. I didn't find out for sure until later." Again Brooke slapped her, but Nicole made no move to defend herself. "Look Brooke, I fucked up royally, just like I always do. I am, and always have been, a coward. But I knew I couldn't change Sam's mind, I tried. And I had to do as she wished. I just had to."
"Even if it got her killed you cold hearted bitch?" Brooke taunted her angrily.
"There's no excuse for my actions. Or my lack of actions. And I'm so sorry. I just... please, forgive me. For running you over, and for Sam. There has only been 3 people who I can say have cared for me at all in my life, and you are one of them. Please."
Brooke sneered. "It's not me you need forgiveness from. You running me down is long past us, it doesn't matter. It's nothing compared to this. I will never forgive you, but my forgiveness shouldn't matter for shit." Brooke took a second to calm herself. She really wanted to beat the living hell out of Nicole. But she still had that soft spot in her heart for Nicole. Cause she knew all about her life at home, and she believed that so few people had ever cared for her. "You need Sam's forgiveness. And it can't... it can't be now. It has to be later, when she's better. When she's not twisted in the head."
Nicole lowered her head, then raised it and nodded. "You're right," she said, with a thousand mile stare. "I just... No. You're right. I'm sorry. And... and not that I deserve this, but could you please tell Sam I'm sorry too. I doubt she'll ever want to talk to me again."
Brooke snarled at Nicole. "You're damn right you don't deserve that. Stay away from us."
Nicole turned and started to walk away. At first Brooke was content to just watch, but she could see in Nicole's walk, in her demeanour, that she was crushed. "Nicole... wait..." She walked slowly out to Nicole.
Nicole turned slowly, and brought her eyes up to look at Brooke. And Brooke could see it in her eyes. Genuine remorse; and pain; and something else she couldn't quite put her finger on. She openly sighed. There was enough pain in this world. She would probably always hate Nicole; and she did genuinely never want to see her again. But she could do this small gesture for her. Just this once.
"I will tell Sam. I will do that for you. And although I don't forgive you, I... I guess that I accept your apology. I don't know if that helps."
Nicole's eyes watered slightly, and she nodded. "Thank you Brooke. You always were too good for me."
Brooke didn't say anything, just jerked her head away from the house, which Nicole clearly understood and started to walk away again as Brooke went back inside. The exhaustion hit her as she re-entered the house; the emotional toll of dealing with Sam, Amanda and Nicole draining her dry. She went upstairs and was asleep in moments.
"Hey babe, how you doing?" asked Devon amicably as he stepped up to give Sam a hug and a kiss, which Sam meekly co-operated with.
"I'm ok. I had a busy day, ran into an old enemy. Nicole Julian, you've heard some stories about her. Man, she was, and still is, a bitch."
Devon gave her a grin. "Haha yea, I've heard the stories. She sounds like a real psycho. Do anything else?"
Sam immediately answered, not wanting the happy mood to end. "Not really. Hung around, you know." She was nervous answering, but she thought she hid it pretty well.
Devon smiled widely. "That's great. So, wanna snuggle up and watch a movie? I just bought 'Up'. I know how you like these sorts of movies. We can have some popcorn and just be together."
"That sounds awesome," Sam exclaimed, smiling genuinely. Why was she leaving him again? He was so good to her. "I'll make the popcorn, you get it all set up?"
Devon nodded. "Sounds great love."
The popcorn was quick to make, and they sat down, cuddling up. Sam's doubts about leaving grew more. He was so good to her, and looked after her really well. She looked down at her wrists, which were lovingly bandaged. He looked after her stupid self after she cut herself after all. She looked over at Devon, and smiled when she saw he was looking at her. He smiled back, and they went back to the movie.
The movie was nice, just sitting with Devon and relaxing. And she knew he was happy with her, just the way he looked at her. It was comforting and warm, and she knew that he loved her, just as she loved him.
As the credits rolled, Sam uncurled herself from Devon and stretched. "That was great honey. But I'm kind of tired; I think I'm going to go to sleep if that's alright with you."
He smiled warmly. "Of course. I'll join you."
It didn't take long for Sam to get ready and crawl into bed in her pajamas ready to just fall asleep, while Devon was still taking a shower. She was asleep in seconds.
Devon came out of the shower a short time later, quickly drying himself off and walking into the room. He saw Sam was still, and the low steady breathing let him know she was fast asleep. He frowned, but shrugged before going over to her.
"Sam, wake up. Come on babe," he said gently as he rocked her slightly.
She awoke with a start, but still groggy. "What... huh... what do you want Devon? I'm really tired," she mumbled out in front of him, causing him to frown deeper.
"You can't just go to sleep like that Sam. I thought we could... have some fun," he said curtly.
Sam pushed herself up a bit, raising her upper body. "Not tonight Devon. I'm not up for it."
Devon instantly lashed out, slapping her hard with the back of his hand. "Excuse me? I'm pretty sure we're going to have some fun tonight Sam." His voice was low, and dangerous.
Sam slowly turned her face back to him, her one eye having welled up a bit from the slap, and a bright red mark on her upper cheek. "And I'm pretty sure I said I'm not up for it," she said defiantly, raising her chin.
Devon couldn't help but gape at her for a second. He was so sure she was broken, that she was all ready for him to mould into whatever he wanted her to be. That she wouldn't resist anything he says. "I..." he started, but then stopped and looked up for a second. "I think that you should think about this." He really just wanted to beat her to within an inch of her life for even doubting him. But he wasn't sure if that would really help his long term cause here. It may even hurt it.
Sam just continued to stare at him, daring him, mocking him. "I don't think I have any thinking to do. So are you going to come to bed and sleep, or what?"
Devon's vision clouded red for a second, and he raised his hand back in preparation to strike her, ready to relish her fear. But then he stopped, as the red cleared and he honed in on Sam's eyes.
There was no fear in them. She just stared at him defiantly, with not hate in her eyes but... something he couldn't identify. Was that pity? It couldn't be. He lowered his hand, knowing now that hitting her would accomplish nothing tonight.
"This isn't over Sam. It's a good thing that I'm feeling lazy. Later, we'll obviously have to go over this, and you'll have to be punished. Tomorrow."
Sam snorted, and just stared at him for a moment as he left her side and went to the other side of the bed where he slept. "There won't be a later, or a tomorrow," she muttered quietly, but immediately paled as Devon snapped his head towards her. She obviously hadn't meant to say it aloud, Devon could tell that. But he had his guess what that meant.
"What did you say you fucking whore?"
She lowered her head. "I... I..." she started stuttering. "I don't know. I don't know why I said that." She looked genuinely remorseful and confused, as if she didn't know what was going on. "I just..." She stopped again. "I'm sorry, I don't know."
He didn't believe her. He had to show her. He immediately reached over and grabbed her roughly by the hair, pulling him towards her as he crashed his fist into her shoulder, actually feeling something give from that blow. She cried out as he threw her onto the ground, immediately going to the fetal position. "I think that I need to show you. Exactly what will happen to Brooke, and Mac, and maybe even your mother. In fact, it will be worse than this."
"No," Sam coughed out, but Devon ignored her, and kicked her right in the forehead, though not too hard. He still needed her conscious.
Her head snapped back, and he followed it up with a couple of kicks to the stomach as she tried to curl up and protect herself.
He snarled as he grabbed her by the hair again and pulled her up. "So you stupid bitch," he started, as he slapped her a few times to bring her attention back. "What are you thinking? Hmmm. Tell me Sam." She didn't answer, her head lolling around, her eyes unfocused. He slapped her again and her eyes focused on him, and she smiled lazily.
"I'm thinking... I'm thinking that it doesn't matter what I say," she said slowly, and thickly.
He smiled back at her, and then dropped her, leaving the room and quickly rummaging through the main closet. He returned to Sam a moment later, baseball bat in hand, but she was still smiling lazily. She had managed to pull herself up to a hunched standing position, supporting herself on the dresser.
"Stop fucking smiling you piece of garbage. I'm going to give you something that will remind you about this for a long time" he said darkly as he slammed the bat into the side of her knee. She cried out as it buckled, and she fell heavily on her back. He hit it again, this time right on the kneecap, and Sam screamed again. He guessed that there was very possibly some long term damage from his blows. And he was happy about it.
He threw the bat into the corner, and proceeded to kneel on her chest, preparing to follow it up. But to his shock, she started to laugh in his face. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" asked Devon, but Sam just kept laughing in his face. He hated her. He started to hit her, but she just kept laughing, though it grew weaker. "Garbage, that's all you are."
Sam coughed, a touch of bloody spittle coming out, but continued to laugh at him.
And he just kept hitting, and eventually she stopped laughing. She stopped moving. But he didn't stop. He couldn't stop. He hated Sam. He loved Sam.
And somehow through it all, she kept breathing.
December 19
She coughed again, over the sink this time, and spat out the blood that came. She knew this was really bad. You don't cough up blood unless you were fucked up. You don't keep coughing up lots of blood unless you were dying.
But she didn't care. It was the early afternoon, and she had survived last night. Barely. Soon she would be with Brooke. If she would have her.
"Hey babe," Devon walked in behind her, and Sam struggled to hide the contempt from showing on her face. She schooled her face into a passive look. "I'm going out for a bit. Need anything?"
"I'm ok, thanks," she said softly.
He approached behind her, wrapping his arms around her. "You feeling ok?" he asked, concern evident in his voice, and Sam felt affection for him boil up again.
She knew what this was now. It was Stockholm Syndrome. She didn't know how she'd not picked up on it before. Not that identifying it helped her, since it didn't change how she felt. Or maybe it did, since she was getting out. Why was her mind wandering on this?
"Yes Devon. I'm just... sick I guess."
He nodded, then turned and moved to exit. "Alright, I'll see you later. My phone's going to be off, so I'll be out of touch for an hour or two. Private business."
Sam smiled at him in the mirror. "Goodbye Devon." And then he was gone.
She sat there, staring at the mirror and coughing occasionally, noting that at least the blood was lessening. After what felt like an eternity, though was in reality only a dozen minutes at most, she went to her room and started packing. Not everything. She didn't want most of the stuff around here, the bad memories. But she did want some things.
Like pictures of her father. She had so few of them she dared not risk losing them. And a few gifts that Brooke, Mac, and her mom had gotten her. Sentimental garbage, of the times before Devon. It wasn't much, just a small suitcase and her backpack. She threw it all in her car and then went back in, looking around at what had been her home, her hell, her sanctuary and her prison all in one.
"Can't say I'm going to miss this place," she whispered to herself, as she pulled out her phone, noting it was now 2:30, and dialled Devon. She was glad he'd told her he'd turned off his cell, now she could just leave a message on his cell. She didn't know how she would have done this otherwise.
She waited as the machine prompted her to leave her message after the beep, and then started to speak.
"Devon, I'm leaving you." She sighed loudly, and her voice turned wistful. "I love you, but you're going to kill me. I'm going to get the police involved, just to inform them, but I don't intend to press charges, as long as you leave me and everyone else alone. I won't... this can all just be history, ok?" She paused for a second, not sure how to end this. "I don't know what happened to you Devon, but I'm sorry. Goodbye." She hung up, and the totality of the situation hit her. She was really doing this.
She was leaving the safety of this situation. At least with Devon she knew exactly where she stood, and where he stood. Who's to say what would become of her and Brooke. What if Brooke discovered how she felt? She was the only person she had outside of Devon, and she'd lose that.
"My god am I every angsty," she giggled to herself, though it shot waves of pain through her.
She stopped, and sat down, suddenly very tired. She wanted to take a nap right where she was, but knew she couldn't. She sighed, and then dialled Brooke.
"Hey Brooke. I just... I'm coming over now I guess. Or soon. Ok?"
Brooke's voice was ecstatic. "Great! I'm here and waiting. I'm so glad you're coming Sam. Glad you're letting me help you."
Sam snorted. "You say that now," she started depreciatingly. "But alright, I just need to... I need some time. Don't worry if I'm a little while. I'm safe."
"Ok Sam, as long as you're safe. I'll see you soon, love you."
"I love you too," she replied gently as she hung up.
And then she started to cry.
It took her about 30 minutes to get ahold of herself enough to drive. She didn't know why she'd started crying, but she thought the only reason she'd managed to get control was because she knew she had to be gone in case Devon checked his messages. And even then, it took her awhile to actually start the car after she'd locked herself in her car. For some reason, she dreaded being without Devon.
But then she finally left, driving away from that house forever and headed for Brooke's.
She pulled up to the house, absently noting it was 3:20, and put the car in park. Time for her new life.