Chapter 10

The human is warm.

Not that she needs additional warmth with her thick fur. But the human makes her feel warm in more than just a physical way. Something stirs inside of her, and craves the closeness.

The panther likes solitude, but this part of her does not. And for some reason, it likes being close to this human more than others.

So when the human leaves the cave, again speaking in this soft, relaxing voice, the panther follows.

She can smell the blood on the human. She also smelt it when she briefly removed the wrappings around her shoulder. She does not like the smell. It makes this strange part of her worry.

The human walks for a long time, but she is slower than the previous day. She walks until they leave the part of the forest where the panther has lived during winter, and the panther hesitates.

A gust of wind carrying the smell of the wounded human convinces her. This strange part of her, asleep for a long time, seems to be more aware.

It is uncomfortable at times. But she has missed it.

When the human finally stops, the panther explores this new place. She had been here before, she knows, but again the memories are fuzzy. Seen with other eyes. She can tell that there are very few memories of it, however. Unlike the metal cave, or even the stone and wood place where humans live.

Yet, these memories stands out. Something significant happened here.

Feelings follow the memory. Fear. Trust. Comfort.

The human has fallen asleep.

The panther stares at her for a few seconds before stretching and yawning. She is hungry.

She sniffs the air, smells a rabbit and leaves.

oooooooooooooo

Lexa clumsily got up when she realized her new companion had disappeared. Her shoulder was on fire, and the pain was spreading down her arm. She really should go and find a healer.

The sun had almost disappeared, the light was low. Lexa understood that she had slept for at least a couple of hours.

Foolish.

TonDC was too far for her to make it there before dark, even if she had it in her to leave after losing Clarke. She started gathering wood for a small fire as she followed the faint prints of the panther. She quickly gave up when she saw that it would lead her too far away from her camp. She couldn't follow the trail in the dark, and she needed sleep.

She lit the fire, ate a few stripes of meat, and tended to her wound with a grimace. Pus was oozing from it – no wonder she felt so tired. She rummaged in her bag until she found a small vial of medicine. She knew it would not be enough to fully cure her and clean her wound, but she hoped it would help clear her foggy mind. Then she emptied a flask of alcohol on the wound, hissing at the pain.

If it was not better in the morning, she would have no choice but to return to TonDC.

Despite her tiredness, she fought to stay awake, hoping Clarke would come back. She had come to her two nights in a row, after all.

She shook with relief when a dark, lithe form jumped over a log.

The panther walked up to her, sniffing her injured shoulder. Lexa smiled at the action. It was such a Clarke move to assess an injury before doing anything else.

Silently, the panther laid next to her. Lexa hesitated, and then moved to press her body against the fur, shivering with fever. She was lulled to sleep by the panther's soft purring.

The next day, the medicine had kicked in and her fever was gone. Her mind felt clearer.

The wound still looked bad.

The panther was still sleeping, and Lexa sat against a log to eat while she debated what to do.

The reasonable thing to do would be to go to the nearest healer – Nyko – and have him treat her shoulder. But there was no way the panther could enter TonDC unharmed. She had a feeling the panther would stay close to her, though she was still unsure of why. Clarke had not tried to stay close to her mother or her friends.

Or perhaps she had – probably, in fact, since she had miraculously appeared to save Abby – but never to the point of sleeping next to them. It could be that she did not want to be close to large groups of humans, and Lexa was simply the first one to stay overnight in the forest, alone. Or maybe it was her wound, and the healer in Clarke that urged the animal to follow her everywhere.

Lexa dared not hope it was more personal.

Maybe Clarke would be safer if Lexa went to Arkadia instead of TonDC? She had more friends there, and a lot of memories that might help her come back.

The panther twitched and emitted a low, sleepy growl. Lexa stared confusedly for a few seconds before she felt a grin play on her lips. She was dreaming.

It was amusing to see a predator doing something so simple as dream, and it reminded her of when Clarke had last slept here. It was also refreshing, because after all that had happened, she had expected the young leader to be haunted by nightmares for months.

She held her breath, struck by the thought.

The panther was dreaming.

Clarke would definitely have nightmares.

Lexa was no stranger to those, since the first time she had taken a life as Anya's young Seken. She suspected they would be much worse without the Flame in the back of neck. The Spirit did not absolve her from her guilt, but it helped her limit them to get enough sleep.

After all the lives Clarke had sacrificed for her people, the girl was bound to have nightmares.

Yet, she was free of them. Because she had transformed in the panther lying in front of Lexa.

She felt her throat tighten.

Clarke was free.

And all Lexa had thought of these last few days was how she could take that freedom away from her. How selfish was that?

Lexa was proud to take care of her people, but she would be lying if she said that the duty did not weigh heavily on her. There were times when the burden was almost more than she could bear. Probably more than anyone should bear, in fact. Like when Azgeda had delivered her a bloody gift.

Or when she had abandoned Clarke at the Mountain.

She had only been able to bear it at the time because it was supposed to be temporary. Just long enough for her to take her people to safety and regroup with her troops.

Clarke had been faster than her, and now both of them had to bear the consequences until their death.

Or so she thought.

Death was the only freedom a Commander could aspire to, and she had thought the same was true for Clarke. But the blonde had found another way out. A way to live out her life free of all the burdens thrust upon her.

How could Lexa deprive her of that?

She kneeled besides the panther, burying her face in its fur to hide the tears that had escaped her eyes. She inhaled her scent one last time, calming her shuddering breath, and stood.

She left the small camp with a final whisper.

''Goodbye, Clarke.''