This chapter might not be very good. Reading it over now, I'm not really sure what happened. o-0

I'm done talking now, lol. Enjoy!

The Muffin Man and Other Awkward Moments Pt. 2

DAY 4

1:29 pm

"Doomed?" L repeated skeptically. "I wouldn't exactly say that relying on Amane-san automatically makes us 'doomed.' Personally, I'd use the words, 'potentially stuck here for a long time,' but certainly not 'doomed.'"

Matsuda deflated. "Did this all happen because of my groove?"

"Your…groove?" Light couldn't help but briefly break his oath of silence to ask, not trusting Aiber to do it.

"You know…my groovy sense of style."

"You poor, misguided man…" Mogi breathed, then looked around. "Oh, did I say that out loud? Sorry about that."

Matsuda found a brown paper bag and put it over his head, dejected. For reasons beyond this author's comprehension, Aiber proceeded to take a pen to Matsuda's paper-bag mask and draw a smiley face on it. When he was finished, Aiber smiled widely, clapped his hands together, and cheered. "Yaaaaay~! Happy~ Happy~ :D"

"No…I'm not 'happy~ happy~'…" Matsuda moaned miserably. "I'm quite the opposite, actually…"

"Oh, don't worry, Matsuda," Mogi said, trying to cheer the man up. "At least you aren't as hopeless as Misa."

"…That's such a reassuring statement, Mogi," Soichiro deadpanned. "Especially considering that Misa is currently the only one who is able to get us out of this mess."

"Oh yeah, sorry."

Soichiro sighed.

"Light-kun, please dial Misa's cell phone number," L instructed.

"Whatevah you say, Ryuzaki~!" Aiber chirped, giving the detective a wink. L pretended not to notice.

The real Light took out his cell phone and did as he was told, not eager to be stuck in the room for any longer than he had to be. A large part of the reason was that the heater didn't work without electricity, and it was 17 degrees outside.

The phone rang 4 times before going to voicemail.

"Well, that's just great," Aiber muttered.

Damn you, Matsuda, L thought to himself. You just had to go all "disco era" on us, didn't you? Idiot…

"Light-kun," L said in an authoritative voice, "Please continue to phone until she picks up. Matsuda, try to locate any extra cakes in the room. There may be a hidden stash underneath the floorboards…

"Aizawa, I must ask…do you by any chance hide sugar cubes in your afro?"

"Why the hell would I hide sugar cubes in my afro? !"

"I'm sorry..." L murmured. "My thinking is not currently at 100%. I don't think very well without sugar."

Evidently.

"Ryuzaki!" Aiber whispered loudly, giving the detective a thumbs-up and pointing at the cell phone that Light was holding in his hand. "We got through."

Everyone gathered around the cell phone. Light put the phone on speakerphone and handed it off to Aiber.

"Light?" Misa's excited voice emanated from the phone's speaker quite loudly.

"This is Light speaking," Aiber said smoothly, attempting to impersonate Light's voice. However, the 35-year-old conman was not ever meant to be a voice actor. He was unable to match his voice to sound like Light. Especially not to a woman who stalked the teen so profusely.

"Whaaaat?" Misa exclaimed. "You aren't Light! You sound like some old creepy stalker pervert!"

"But Misa, it is Light," Aiber protested.

"No! Get away from my Light!" Suddenly her voice changed into a more concerned tone. "Light? Light? If you can hear me, know that I am coming to save you! I'll be your hero! If you're Batman, I'll be your Robin! If you're Superman, I'll be your Jimmy Olsen! If you're Atrocitus, I'll be your Dex-Starr! If you're Spiderman, I'll be your Green Goblin! …But only the Green Goblin from the 3rd movie, of course, because the one from the 1st movie was a bad guy…"

"If Light-kun was actually in need of assistance, there is a 36% chance that he would be dead by now," L reasoned quietly.

"No kidding," Matsuda agreed.

Misa was still going on her tirade. "…If you're Kira, I'll be your Second Kira! If you're…"

"Incriminating,Light-kun," L said to the teen. Light's only response was to glare at the detective.

"And Light, don't worry! You don't look like an apple!" Misa concluded. And with that, she hung up.

"Oh joy," Light said sarcastically. "I'm so glad."

Everyone just stared at him accusingly.

Light, oblivious to the reason for their sudden hostility, asked innocently, "What? Why is everyone staring at me?"

"You're talking right now," Aizawa growled. "Why the fuck couldn't you have spoken while our only hope of getting out of here was on the other line? !"

"Oops?" came the teen's timid reply.

"Oops?" snarled Aizawa in disgust. "That's all you have to say? !"

"Erm…yeah..?"

This thoughtless response almost resulted in him getting thrown out a window.

DAY 4

2:01 pm

Misa had yet to make her glorified appearance.

L thought of what could have possibly happened for her to be taking so long. Perhaps Matusda was the creator of The Void and summoned it right there in the Kira Task Force headquarters, swallowing up the young model on her way to the observation room.

…L really needed sugar.

His thinking was becoming borderline ridiculous. Sugar deprivation always did that to him. The cold certainly wasn't helping, either.

Either way, the genius's normally clear thoughts were becoming all jumbled.

Light was sitting with his back against the wall, cuddling with Aiber.

Wait…why is Light-kun cuddling with Aiber? L wondered, backing up his thoughts just a bit. A slight shiver ran through his body, almost as if to remind him.

Oh, that's right. It's 17 degrees in here. Hmm…it might actually be wise to do the same. Sharing body heat is a good way to keep warm. I wonder if Mogi wants to snuggle…

"Ryuzaki, erm…I'd like to speak with you," Watari said quietly, unknowingly saving Mogi from an intensely awkward situation.

"Yes, what is it?"

Watari continued to speak quietly as he said, "Ryuzaki, I understand why your childhood might have been a bit rough…"

"Why are you talking so quietly, Watari?" L asked loudly, on the verge of sounding intentionally obnoxious.

"Because it's…erm…probably not something you would want everyone in the room to hear…?" The old inventor was confused by L's uncharacteristic behavior.

"Ohh, that's right. Go on," L told him. "Of course, 'quietly.'"

It should go without saying that by now, everyone was staring at them intently, curious about what Watari had to say and wondering about their boss's mental state. L glanced around the room, meeting all of their gazes.

"What are you staring at?" L said, sounding somewhat irritated. "He just said that this is something I probably don't want you to hear. So why on earth are you all listening?"

...Is L high?

Watari was not the only one to regard L with an odd expression that day.

Despite the detective's atypical behavior, Watari decided to continue talking, wanting to get the discussion for Card 27 {Card 27: When I was a child, I used to cry at night because I thought that I was an alien from outer space, and that my real parents would come in a spaceship and try to take me away with them} over with as soon as possible.

This time, everyone in the room eavesdropped without looking at them, pretending to be busying themselves with finding ways to keep warm (which, in fact, they really were doing).

"Well…um…" Watari began again, now feeling quite a bit more awkward than he had previously. He swore he could practically feel everyone's attentiveness. "Erm…"

He contemplated waiting to save this conversation for another time, but L's impatient grumbling of, "Do you have something to say, or don't you?" forced him to reconsider.

"Hmm…er…you are rather different than other people," Watari tried.

"Am I?" L cut in, as if needing confirmation.

"…Yes, you are. You also have a creative mind. Now—"

L interrupted again. "Thank you, Watari. I feel that you have a creative mind, too."

I don't understand why L sounds so high!

"Ahh…thank you?" Watari hesitated, if only for a moment. "As I was saying, it would make sense for you to believe in certain…improbable things."

By this time everyone in the room had their eyebrows raised, with the exclusion of Light, who had fallen asleep with his head resting on Aiber's shoulder. The conman seemed to be dozing off as well.

Matsuda desperately wished he had his camera. This would make for absolutely wonderful blackmail.

"Improbable things?" L repeated. "Such as?"

"Things that might upset you, for example."

"Oh, I think I know exactly what you are talking about."

"You do?" Watari asked.

"I believe so," L replied, nodding. "Such things often bothered me when I was younger."

Watari couldn't believe it had been this easy to get his evidence.

"Well…you don't still believe in it, do you?"

"Oh, surely not. I can get them myself now, if needed," L said confidently.

Wait, what? Get them? Get aliens? How…?

"I actually haven't worried about it since I began accumulating my own cash. I mean, if the Cake Fairy gets shot down out of the sky by international security for illegally flying in their airspace, I still have the resources to obtain cakes on my own."

Wow, that chapter was so crappy. Sorry. ^ ^;

There were initially only supposed to be 2 parts to this. It looks like it'll have to be 3. Sorry. =/

Please tell me what you think! Review! Please!

Also, here's something I've been pondering this week: How many people, who own those Death Note notebooks you can buy online (those ones that look like the real one), do you think, have written Justin Beiber's name down in it? Anyone?

Also—when uploading a story to the document manager, am I the only one who gives the files really weird names like "next thingy you know of that one thing blah blah hahahaha", or "lalla stupid crappy chapter meep ugh strange lol what?" o-0

~Ratt Kazamata

7-18-2011