Merlin's life has fallen into shambles. He can't concentrate at work, which is a serious problem to begin with, and he can't relax at home. He goes through his days like a robot with a single mission: simply to make it until seven when he can leave.
Every time he passes Arthur at work, another wave of depression and sadness washes over him. The first time Merlin encountered Arthur was about two days after his confession. The man had dark circles under his eyes and the yellowing of bruises along his face and fresh purple ones in bloom on his knuckles. Their eyes met and for a split second Merlin could physically feel the pain the other's feeling. But there's nothing he can do.
Merlin had been used in the worst way possible by a man he'd fallen hard for; hell, he still is falling for Arthur. However, it's been hard staying away. He can see the physical evidence that Arthur's being beaten and hurt by an unknown hand, probably for not successfully recruiting Merlin. It leaves him feeling a little guilty and honestly pretty relieved too. He'd finally getting his life to where he wants it to be, with a solid job at least. But like he said earlier, that's not really working out for him either.
Merlin knocks on Arthur's door apprehensively. He has a suitcase loaded by his side and a backpack stuffed on his back. He's dressed in layers with his scrubs from work still underneath.
When Arthur answers, it's worse than Merlin thought. He has more bruises along his chest and upper arms, as evident by his lack of shirt, and here and there little scratches and gashes match. Merlin can only imagine how they'd gotten imprinted onto his body. He thinks he can see handprints in several of the marks, which is extremely concerning. "Merlin," Arthur greets in a smooth voice. "What brings you here?" There's no sign that Arthur is pleased or upset by Merlin's sudden appearance in his face or tone.
Merlin shifts in place, now unsure about coming here. But he's standing in front of the love of his life, all packed up and ready to leave and embark on probably the stupidest thing he's ever done. "Can I come in?"
Arthur stands in his doorway for a long moment then steps aside.
The first thing Merlin notices from where he stands in the foyer is the mess of bloody gauze and medical supplies on the kitchen counter in the adjoining room. He can see where Arthur had discarded his white dress shirt and tie across the island.
Arthur silently pushed past Merlin and into his makeshift infirmary. Merlin is quiet as he watches Arthur lift a packaged syringe from a box and rip it open with his teeth. "What do you need?" His hands shake as he dumps a clear liquid into a bowl on the counter. Merlin knows it's not water either.
Merlin's eyes widen when he watches Arthur pull out an alcohol pad and open it in a similar fashion as the syringe.
"I asked you something." Arthur swipes the pad across the crook of his elbow. "Or are you too preoccupied in watching me shoot up to answer it?"
Merlin walks over to Arthur and gently takes the syringe from the counter. Surprisingly, Arthur doesn't make a move to take it from Merlin. Using his teeth the pull the syringe apart, he fills it with the morphine in the bowl completely. "I came because I had the foolish idea that we could run off to America together." He grabs the tie from the kitchen island and tightly ties it around Arthur's upper arm. "That maybe we could get away from this and start over." He finds a vein close to the surface of Arthur's skin and slowly injects the liquid into it.
Arthur's eyes close and his breathing slows. Merlin can almost see the rush of relief across his face. After a moment, Arthur blinks his eyes open. "Why did you do that?"
"Do what?"
Arthur nods down at the small bead of blood forming on his elbow. "That."
Merlin wads up a cotton ball and presses it to the site with just enough pressure to make it stop bleeding. "When you love someone, you'll do anything to help them feel better. Even if it's illegal and wrong."
Arthur's words start to slow and slightly slur when he replies. "I didn't know you love me. You didn't tell me." He rolls his head to the side lazily. "I got beaten because of you."
Merlin looks down at the cuts and bruises all along Arthur's once perfect and whole body. He feels a pang of guilt in his gut. "I know. And I'm sorry." He reaches over to a roll of cotton gauze and some more alcohol pads with the intention of dressing Arthur in new bandages.
Arthur sways a little in place, showing how his morphine is kicking in. "Mordred told me that my father wanted to kill me, but - but that isn't a good idea. I have to get back with Gwen or I go to that place in that show with the annoying -"
"Jail?" Merlin thoughtfully supplies as he swabs the gashes along Arthur's side, where it looks liked he been kicked so hard the skin split open.
Arthur nods his head. "Yeah, there."
So there's no way Merlin's foolishly planned idea is going to work. Arthur is in no shape to travel, high or not. He probably would get arrested just after stepping into the airport.
Merlin positions Arthur so he's leaning against the counter with all his weight supported so he doesn't topple over as Merlin patches him up. By the way Arthur's face is slack and body limp, he can tell that he'd just injected way more morphine into Arthur's system than that one day when Merlin had spend an hour sitting in the cold car while Arthur fought with Gwen.
About ten minutes later, Arthur resembles a mummy more than a man from the waist up. He continues to stare blankly at the wall as Merlin cleans up the kitchen, disposing of the used needles and blood stained gauze wraps and wiping down the counters.
"I love you, Merlin," Arthur slurs. It's the first time he's spoken since Merlin finished dressing him. "I didn't know it until like yesterday but I do."
Merlin smiles at that. He'd be lying if he didn't feel a jolt in his lower stomach after hearing those words. Honestly, he wants Arthur in his life. He's never felt so strongly about someone before in the way he does; however, he's still immensely hurt and confused about the other day's revolutions. He doesn't want to fully commit to being with Arthur in that romantic, sweet way (even though he really missed the cuddling) until he knows for sure that no harm will ever come to him.
A hand brushes Merlin's back. "Do you love me too?" Arthur tries to nuzzle his face into the back of Merlin's neck. This affectionate side of Arthur is something Merlin remembers from the last time he'd been around high Arthur.
Merlin shrugs Arthur away. "Not now, Arthur. Go lay down." He washes his hands in the sink, where he has to swat Arthur's hands from joining in.
Arthur eventually gets the idea and wobbles off to the bedroom, muttering under his breath about something Merlin can't fully hear.
When Merlin follows into the bedroom a few minutes later, he finds Arthur laying face down on the uncharacteristically unmade bed, snoring softly. Merlin yanks the blankets up and around Arthur's body. He leaves a glass of water on the nightstand as well as two pain relief tablets.
Merlin spends the night beside Arthur to make sure he doesn't wake up confused or sick. And thankfully, he opens his eyes the next morning from the shrill beeping of Arthur's alarm and not him puking or screaming in pain.
Arthur stirs and slaps his hand down on the clock. He rolls onto his back and almost seems surprised to find Merlin beside him. Apprehensively, Arthur sits up, as if to test if Merlin's actually awake or not, then slips out of bed in one graceful motion.
Merlin props himself up on his elbows to show he isn't asleep. As if anything could make it through that awful alarm it would be a miracle. "How are you feeling?"
Arthur looks over his shoulder at Merlin quickly. He pauses in his journey to the bathroom and then turns to face him. "Sore, depressed, angry. The usual." He shrugs his shoulders then continues back on his path.
Merlin tosses his legs over the side of the bed and hurriedly pads after Arthur. He hates hearing his lover say such awful things; it breaks his heart more than it already is. "Do you want me to give you a boost?" he says with his head poked into the bathroom.
Arthur turns the water on in his very spacious and luxurious looking shower. "Of what? Morphine? No thanks. I'm still recovering from the trip last night." He drops his dress slacks, which he'd probably been wearing for a solid day now by the look of them. "But thanks for that, by the way. You gave me about twice as much as I usually take and it was delightful."
That would explain how exaggerated the symptoms seemed last night. Merlin had suspected just that after he'd injected the stuff. He shamefully glances away. "I was only trying to help."
"I know," Arthur sighs as he steps into the shower. "It's just funny that a few days after I tell you I'm a criminal and you kick me out, you're the one giving me my fix."
Merlin steps further into the bathroom and closes the door behind himself as if someone else actually was in the flat too. "You were in so much pain. I could tell."
Arthur dips his head into the water. Merlin think it's strangely intimate to be watching Arthur shower like this, and since he needs to get going for work as well, he lifts his own shirt above his head.
"I'm always in pain and you didn't seem to care before," Arthur counters. He swallows when he sees Merlin stripping and quickly fixes his eyes elsewhere.
Merlin kicks his pants across the bathroom floor. "That was before I know what was causing you the pain. Now that I know, I just want to make it go away." He steps into the steam filled shower.
Arthur moved aside to let Merlin through then continues with washing his hair. "That's very noble of you."
Merlin waits until Arthur's finished rinsing his hair out then tugs on the man's elbow. "I love you."
Arthur doesn't move for a handful of long seconds. He simply stares at Merlin with an unreadable expression on his face. "I love you too," he says at last.
Merlin's heart fills and swells to an impossible size. He'd heard Arthur say those three little words to him before, but now it's different. Arthur isn't high or upset. He's raw and real. From the way Arthur is smiling, he can tell the man means it.
Merlin throws his arms around Arthur's neck and kisses him, slow and passionate. The water hits their faces from the shower and the steam envelops them like a warm blanket as they intertwine their fingers and move their mouths in time with one another.
He doesn't fully forgive Arthur by a long shot, but there's no denying that what they have is something special. In time, Merlin hopes to restore a peace among them and be able to live a normal life - one not filled with Arthur's side business and his addiction. But when one is so passionately in love, there's always a way.
Arthur glides his hand down Merlin's back and to the curve of his arse. He flattens his hand across it and pushes their hips flush. Merlin can feel the beginnings of Arthur's erection press against his upper thigh, which spurs his own arousal.
"I love you," Arthur whispers in Merlin's ear after the kiss breaks. The man peppers a trail of open mouthed kisses all along Merlin's jaw and down his neck. "So fucking much."
Merlin backs himself up against the shower wall where the water from one of the heads hits his arms and chest. His hand tangles in Arthur's hair, just how he likes it, and feels the prick of teeth bite down on his collarbone.
Arthur doesn't stop at Merlin's neck. He continues to mouth his way down and across Merlin's chest and stomach. His cock twitches when he realizes what's about to happen; Arthur's never put his mouth on Merlin's member before and it's about to happen. Merlin moans at the mere thought.
Arthur's on his knees now and slowly kisses along Merlin's hips. Occasionally his chin brushes against Merlin's cock and sends him into a fit of noises. Suddenly, when he least expects it, Arthur takes Merlin into his mouth.
Needless to say, Merlin yelps at the beautiful feeling that comes from it.
Like the inexperienced bloke he is, Arthur just lets Merlin's cock sit in his mouth for a second or two, which Merlin is perfectly okay with right now as his member reaches full hardness. Arthur hesitantly runs his tongue across the tip and slit while watching Merlin's expression.
When Merlin shuts his eyes and makes a small kitten noise, he supposes that Arthur figured out that he likes it. His tongue grazes the tip once more and then slides down the length of his shaft until it hits the back of Arthur's throat and Merlin sees stars.
Merlin mumbles something about more and deeper as he shoves Arthur's face closer to his hips. Arthur grips Merlin's hips so hard he might leave bruises behind. Some water falls into his eyes, thus blinding Merlin and forcing him to keep his eyes squeezed shut and twist his fingers tighter into Arthur's hair. His hips begin to roll involuntarily, fucking Arthur's mouth the same way the man did that first night at the bar.
Merlin comes so hard that his knees buckle. He bangs his head against the shower wall with a shout in his pleasure.
Arthur chokes on Merlin's seed and starts coughing it up beside the man's feet. It's probably the least sexy thing that Merlin's ever seen, but somehow Arthur's inexperience is a turn on to him. He likes thinking he's the only man Arthur's fooled around with.
Merlin falls down to his knees too, forces his eyes open despite the string of water in his pupils, and pushes Arthur onto his back. He takes Arthur's cock in his hand and begins to pump it, working it hard and fast. It takes only a few strokes before Arthur squeezes his eyes shut and comes into Merlin's hand.
He lets the mess wash down the shower drain, then he shakily stands. "Well, I can't say that was completely unexpected."
Arthur gets to his feet as well. He takes Merlin's hand and kisses the back of it. "Yes, but I loved it."
Like almost every other time they've slept together, Merlin shares a deep and passionate kiss with Arthur that leaves his knees weak and heart racing.
Needless to say, they're both late to work that morning.