The Choices we Make

Chapter 10

Emily was out with the girls shopping and planning what should be the best day of her life. She and Andrew were to be married soon, and the girls had decided that they needed to make this the wedding of the year, so after dragging Emily into every single wedding dress shop in D.C., she had yet to decide on a dress. For some reason, Emily just seemed unable to decide on a dress. Garcia thought that was just normal wedding stress and nerves...she said most woman get like that when they were going to get married. What the girls didn't know was the reason Emily couldn't decide on a dress was because her heart just wasn't into the wedding at all; her heart, in fact, was in deep pain. She wanted to run away and disappear; she felt inside that she wanted to just never see Andrew or Hotch again. Emily had not been in a relationship for a long time before Andrew, because she had sworn she would never fall in love again.

The first time she had fallen in love, the jerk broke her heart into a million pieces. It was back when she was in college, and she had fallen in love with one of her professors, and after they had dated for her entire time at college which was four years, and after he had proposed to her, she thought it was the best thing that had happened to her. But, months before the wedding, he disappeared, and she never heard from him again; after that, she was devastated. and she swore she would never in her life let anyone close enough to hurt her again. Years passed before Emily dated again, and she didn't care since she'd sworn she would be alone for the rest of her life. But then, she met Andrew and she felt attracted to him, and well, she had not been in a relationship in a long time and girls had their needs...but she wasn't into Andrew at all, in fact, she never let her guard down. She had never let her heart and feelings open up to Andrew at all because she just figured he would get tired of her and go away. But, he never did, he fell completely in love with her, and she found herself trapped in a relationship where she did not want to be.

Then "HE" had to come and make everything worse. Emily didn't know how it happened, but it did, everything started as a friendship, they shared secrets, helped each other in good and bad times, she found herself comfortable and safe around him. She also found herself able to trust him with anything even her most intimate secrets. They had been friends for a long time, they had spent many nights together, laughing, talking, it was just supposed to be a friendship, she had a boyfriend and he had a girlfriend. Emily never understood why she didn't like his girlfriend, there was something about her she didn't like, she felt something odd in her stomach every time he talked about her, or was around her. Then he broke up with his girlfriend, and he called her to comfort him, and he kissed her one night, and that was all it took to realize that what she had felt for Aaron Hotchner, the man that was supposed to be her best friend, was something more than a friendship. She found she couldn't stop thinking about him, about the way his lips felt on her skin…about the way his hands felt around her waist. Her walls had broken down, and Emily Prentiss found herself completely in love with him, her boss, when he said he loved her back, and he wanted a chance with her, she felt that for the first time in her life she had found her true love and her soul mate. But, she let her guard down again, and he had broken her heart into a million pieces, and now she was not sure she would ever recover.

Now, she was shopping around with her best friends pretending to be excited and happy about a wedding she did not want to have, with a man she didn't love, she couldn't decide on a dress because she did not want a dress. Garcia had gone to get them coffee while Emily and JJ sat at a nearby restaurant to take a break. JJ had noticed that her best friend wasn't into this at all, and she had realized Emily couldn't decide on a dress because her mind wasn't there at all.

"What is it with you, Emily…..aren't you supposed to be super excited about this?"

"I am excited, I'm just tired...we've been shopping all day." She said, trying to excuse herself.

"Please don't tell me you're getting cold feet?" JJ asked, concerned.

Emily didn't respond, she just looked away, unable to explain to JJ how she felt. JJ was her best friend, but she had not told her about Hotch yet, in fact, she had not told anyone. JJ grabbed her friend's hands softly and looked at her intensely...

"Look, I'm not a profiler, but I know you, and you're not into this at all…in fact, you don't even want to get married...right?" JJ asked, she had known Emily for a very long time and she knew her expressions, so, when Emily looked down she knew she was right.

"Come on, Em, you know you can trust me?" JJ said in a comforting tone.

"I'm fine. Jayje, I promise you." Emily lied, just in that moment Garcia returned with the coffees, so they couldn't keep talking, not that they didn't trust Garcia, of course they did, she was their best friend, too, but JJ knew that if Emily was having a hard time trusting her that was more discreet with secrets, then she would definitely not open up to Garcia. They knew she was an amazing person, but Garcia tended to let secrets slip out unintentionally sometime in order to help people out.

By the end of the day, Emily was exhausted. They had been shopping all day, and she had finally selected a random dress, just so the girls would leave her alone. Of course, JJ had been sending her questioning looks all day after their talk. Emily knew JJ wasn't stupid, and she also knew JJ knew most of her expressions, so she couldn't hide from JJ any longer. She just didn't know how to tell JJ she was in love with their boss, and that was the reason why she did not want to marry Andrew. Of course, she trusted JJ, in fact, JJ was one of the persons that she trusted the most. JJ had become one of her best friends, and she had always been amazing to her since the first time they met. But, blurting out that you were in love with your boss wasn't something really easy to do.

Emily was on her way home, with all these things in her head, she needed to think and she felt like she couldn't breath anymore. She decided to park her car and take a walk on the streets of D.C., she thought a walk would make her feel better, then she would go home and attempt to get some sleep. She stopped to get a cup of coffee and started wandering around the lighted streets. She could feel the tears threatening to fall down her face...she was hurting big time, and she couldn't hide it anymore. This was affecting her so much to the point she couldn't sleep, every time she tried to close her eyes the first thing that she would see was Hotch touching her in such a delicious way that made her lost her mind. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't forget about that encounter in the bathrooms, she couldn't forget the way he had kissed her, the way he had touched her, she became wet just thinking about it. No man had ever turned her on so much before, no man had ever made her feel the butterflies she felt every time he kissed her. No matter what she did, she couldn't get Aaron Hotchner out of her mind. It was killing her. She knew she would never be able to stop loving him no matter how hard she tried, but she had to, after all, his girlfriend was pregnant, and they were about to have a family together.

As Emily walked through the streets of D.C., her mind was on that night in the bathroom...as much as she tried to deny it, what he had done to her tortured her every night. The way Hotch had touched her while kissing her was wonderful, Emily was sure if he had continued touching her intimate parts like that while kissing her so passionately, she would have had an orgasm just by his touch. Okay now, she really had to stop thinking about him….just as she was about to cross the street, something caught her attention, or actually someone…but this couldn't be... there was no way, this was just impossible…..she couldn't…

Beth Clemons was on the other side of the street walking with someone and they were holding hands; suddenly, they stopped at the corner of the street and he turned around to pull her in his arms and kissed her passionately...only the man assaulting her mouth wasn't Aaron Hotchner. Emily was in shock, this couldn't be, this was not possible, Beth was cheating on Aaron, and she had just witnessed it. Emly tried to pull her phone out to snap a picture, but she was so nervous she dropped the phone on the floor, and when she finally picked it up, the couple crossed the street and disappeared. Okay, she was sure of what she had seen, she didn't imagine it, and she had to tell Hotch, she had to, no matter how mad she was at him, he deserved to know this. Only she didn't know how in the world she was going to tell him. They had not spoken a single word to each other since their encounter in the bathroom. Hotch had not said a single word to her after that, he, in fact, avoided being in the same room with her. Emily was sure he just plain hated her, and that was why he was acting like that. As for Hotch's side, he had distanced himself from Emily because he was afraid he couldn't keep his hands away from her any longer, and he was sure that next time, he was going to make her his whether she wanted it or not.

When Emily returned to work on Monday she didn't know what to do. She knew deep inside her that Hotch deserved to know the truth; she had to tell him no matter how much talking to him hurt her, after all, she cared for him, and he deserved to know. So she made her way to her desk thinking of a way to drop the bomb shell without causing a lot of trouble. She glanced to his office, and he seemed concentrated on his work as usual. Emily decided to wait until the end of the day to go talk to him; meanwhile, she would try to get some paperwork done since they were not on a case.

A few hours later, Hotch was sitting at his desk trying to concentrate on all the files he had to review. He had a huge headache, and the last place he wanted to be was the BAU. He had not stopped thinking about Emily and that night in the bathroom, he could still taste her on his lips, he became crazy at night thinking about her. Oh, the things he could to her. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get her out of his head. He was head over heels in love with her, and he knew he had never loved anyone the way he love Emily, not even Haley. Hotch knew Emily was it for him, but she had made her choice, and he couldn't forgive her for that.

Around 3 pm, the mail arrived at his office, and he started going through it. In the mail, he found a very elegant wedding invitation...it was Emily's wedding invitation. He couldn't believe she had dared to send him a wedding invitation...did she really hate him that much? She knew he was hurting already, and now she wanted to hurt him more by sending him an invitation to her wedding with that asshole! He angrily ripped the invitation into a million pieces. Fine, if that was what she wanted, he was going to get her out of his head once and for all. He swore right there that he would get her out of his head no matter how much that would cost him. He swore that he would stop thinking about her and dedicate his mind to Beth and forget that Emily ever existed. He threw away the invitation and focused his mind on work again.

At the end of the day, Emily had no choice but to go into his office and talk to him. She softly knocked on the closed door...she had no idea how she was going to do this, but she knew she had to. She tapped on the door again and waited for an answer, when he told her to come in, she slowly walked in more nervous than ever.

"Sorry to bother you, Hotch…I just…I need to talk to you…" She said, nervously.

"What do you want, Prentiss?" He asked, rudely. Emily just glared at him "Prentiss really?"

"May I talk to you for a minute?" She asked, again trying to make him look at her since he had been looking at his files since she had walked in.

"What do you want?" Emily felt a pinch in her stomach at how cold and rude he was acting toward her, but she had to do this no matter what. So she exhaled and closed her eyes trying to gain some courage.

"Look, there is no nice way to say this, so I'm just going to say it…I think…..I think you should be careful with Beth." She said nervously.

"What?" He asked rudely.

"I don't think she is being honest with you." Emily said again.

"What the hell are you talking about, Prentiss!" He said finally, looking at her angrily. Emily just rolled her eyes, she had no choice...she had to say it word for word.

"She is cheating on you….I saw her…" She finally said, to her surprise Hotch just smirked.

"Is that all you have…Prentiss?" He said angrily.

Emily just looked at him confused.

"Do you think I'm going to believe your lies?" He asked, looking at her evilly, Emily just looked at him with hurt in her eyes.

"You think I am lying?" She asked in disbelief?

"Beth is an amazing woman, I don't believe your lies, and I won't let you ruin my happiness with her." The minute he said, it he regretted it, but it was too late...Emily just felt like she had been slapped on the face.

"You know what….you are a worse asshole than I thought you were…..I'm sorry I even said anything." She said, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Goodbye, Hotch." She said, walking away from his office crying. Hotch just stood there looking at her with anger in his eyes. He watched as she grabbed her stuff and walked away from the BAU. Then something finally hit his mind. What if she wasn't lying...after all, she had never lied to him…ever...but, could he trust her right about this situation?