Chapter 10
As Jack woke the following morning, he was momentarily disoriented when he found himself in a strange bed, wrapped tightly around a warm male body. He remained still as he listened to the gentle rhythm of Ianto's breathing, and then he settled back into the soft cocoon of the bed covers, feeling relaxed and content. He smiled as memories of the previous night flooded his consciousness.
Ianto had been unsure and tentative at first. He'd seemed a bit lost and overwhelmed when confronted with a naked man for the first time. But Jack had expected that and had encouraged him to explore. The hour or so that followed had turned out to be one of the most erotic experiences of Jack's life, as Ianto had proceeded to slowly touch, taste, and map every part of Jack's body. Jack had been delighted to find that Ianto's meticulous and uncompromising nature carried over into the bedroom. And by the time Jack had finished exploring Ianto with equal reverence, he had been pleading for Jack to take him.
Once Ianto had gotten past his initial reticence, he'd proven to be an enthusiastic and willing partner. While he was inexperienced in being with another man, he was a talented lover and a fast learner. Ianto was also a very giving and considerate lover, seeking to provide as much pleasure as he received.
It really shouldn't have been a surprise to Jack when he discovered that the younger man was more knowledgeable than he had expected. Ianto never seemed to go into a situation unprepared, and apparently their night together hadn't been an exception. He'd have liked to ask Ianto about that, but he didn't want to embarrass the Welshman. As in all other facets of their association thus far, Ianto continued to challenge and surprise him.
It was a short while later that Jack was startled from his thoughts as he felt Ianto begin to wake. Ianto turned over and nuzzled his face into Jack's neck with a soft sigh. Looking down, Jack's gaze was met by a pair of sleepy blue eyes.
Jack tilted his head and smiled as he pressed a kiss to Ianto's lips. "Good morning," he said quietly.
"Morning," Ianto mumbled thickly as he shifted in Jack's embrace.
Jack leaned back and closed his eyes for a moment, just enjoying the sensation of holding Ianto's warm body in his arms. Then his eyes shot open as Ianto suddenly became tense and started to pull away.
"Ianto, what's wrong?" Jack asked as he reached towards him. His hand brushed across Ianto's hips, and he immediately realised what was troubling the other man.
Ianto didn't respond. Deciding that he needed to deal with the situation and avoid undue awkwardness, Jack threw back the bed covers and stretched out languidly, putting himself on display. He started stroking himself lazily.
"Want me to help you take care of that?" he murmured as he watched Ianto carefully, waiting for his reaction.
Ianto abruptly turned back to look at Jack. His eyes went wide and his mouth fell open as he gazed at Jack's unabashed pose. "I… er… what about you?" he asked, his voice unsteady.
Jack grinned. "Together then?" he suggested as he reached over and stroked Ianto gently.
A low moan escaped from Ianto's lips and his eyes drifted closed for a moment. "Okay," he gasped as he met Jack's gaze and seemed to relax again.
"Scoot down a bit," Jack said as he turned himself around and nudged Ianto so they were lying on their sides. "Is this all right?" he asked quietly before going any further.
Ianto mumbled a sound of approval, his eyes fixed on Jack's arousal.
Jack grinned again, and without further preamble, took Ianto into his mouth. Ianto groaned appreciatively in response. He hesitated for a moment, and then quickly followed Jack's lead.
A while later, feeling pleasantly sated, Jack spun back around and pulled a slightly breathless Ianto into his arms. He tugged the covers back up around them. "So, was that on your list?" he said with an affectionate chuckle.
"Maybe," Ianto replied coyly.
Ianto brought his hand up to Jack's face and traced a finger across the curve of his lips, a curious expression on his face. He moved in closer, but paused before their lips touched, looking uncertain.
Jack didn't hesitate to close the distance between them. They kissed deeply, their tongues hungrily chasing their unique tastes in each other's mouths.
Eventually they pulled apart, and Jack smiled at Ianto. The Welshman stared back at Jack with an expression of awe. "Huh. That was… erm… intense."
Jack grinned. "Not a bad way to start the morning, eh? Not that waking up with a gorgeous Welshman in my arms wasn't already a fantastic beginning."
Ianto shook his head with exasperation as a smirk played across his lips. "Please, Jack. I need a cup of coffee before I can cope with your personality at full strength. Possibly several cups."
Jack burst into laughter. He loved when Ianto's cheeky, playful side emerged.
"I didn't know what to do…" Ianto began, turning serious again. He shook his head apologetically. "Well, obviously I've never woken up in bed with a man before."
Ianto dropped his head onto Jack's shoulder, and Jack tightened his embrace a little, hoping to reassure the younger man. "I know, but you don't need to worry. You're doing just fine, Ianto. There aren't any rules here."
Ianto looked up at him and a flash of confusion passed across his features. "I didn't think you'd stay," he said quietly.
Jack knew that Ianto might be wondering why he was still there. It had occurred to Jack that perhaps Ianto hadn't wanted him to stay for the whole night. Jack had debated that point himself before drifting off to sleep. He hadn't wanted Ianto to feel taken advantage of, or think that Jack regarded him as just some random stranger.
It was a unique and strange situation. Ianto was his colleague and friend. Jack found himself feeling strangely protective and even a little possessive of his young companion. He'd wanted Ianto's first time to be memorable and unspoiled by doubts or negative emotions. And selfishly, he'd wanted that for himself too. He'd wanted their brief time together to be perfect, since he didn't know if it would ever happen again.
"It seemed a shame not to enjoy this stunning room," Jack said, trying to sound casual. "Is it okay that I stayed?" he asked with concern.
Ianto nodded. "Yeah, of course. I'm glad you're here."
Jack relaxed, feeling relieved that he'd done the right thing. "How are you feeling?" he asked gently as he began roaming his hand over Ianto's chest.
Ianto hummed in response and gave his body an experimental wriggle. "A bit sore, but it feels… it's sort of nice."
"That's pretty normal," Jack assured him. "Especially for your first time."
Jack squirmed a little himself, and realised he was also experiencing some slight discomfort. "I didn't hurt you did I?" Ianto asked worriedly.
"No, not at all. It's been a while for me. It is nice though, that feeling of having been thoroughly shagged." Jack grinned. "So, did you enjoy yourself?"
"Yeah. It wasn't…" Ianto began. "It wasn't what I expected."
Jack felt a stab of concern. "Better or worse?"
"Better, much better. Just…" Ianto paused. "It's weird. You imagine how something is going to be, and it ends up being completely different. I just thought…" he trailed off uncertainly.
"What's wrong?" Jack asked softly.
"Nothing. I guess that's sort of the problem." Ianto's eyes seemed to glaze over for a moment and a look of mortification spread across his features.
"It's okay. Whatever it is, you can tell me," Jack reassured him gently.
"I loved it," Ianto whispered, looking away from Jack. "All of it… everything we did together."
Jack couldn't help but feel a little bit smug, but more than that, he felt immensely relieved. It was obvious that Ianto had enjoyed everything they'd done at the time, but Jack wasn't sure how he would have handled things if Ianto had suddenly decided that it was all a horrible mistake and regretted it.
"There's nothing wrong with that, Ianto," he said soothingly. "We had fantastic sex. That's nothing to be ashamed of."
Ianto nodded but looked pensive. "I think part of me hoped that I wouldn't like being with a man…" He paused and shrugged. "That it was just some compulsion I had to get over… and that I was straight after all…"
He lifted his head to meet Jack's eyes. "But, I'm not, am I?"
Jack found Ianto's hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Maybe not completely, but does it matter? A lot of people aren't entirely one way or the other… me, for example."
Jack rested his hand on Ianto's chest, just over his heart, and stroked his thumb gently across the warm skin. "It doesn't change who you are. You're still Ianto Jones. You've just discovered that your sexuality isn't as black and white as you once thought it was."
"Ten years too late," Ianto said with a trace of bitterness. "If I'd worked this out sooner or if I'd been braver, things might have been different."
"Possibly," Jack acknowledged. He assumed that Ianto was thinking about his ex-girlfriend. "But these things tend to happen in their own time. I don't think it's a question of bravery. It's just that you were in a different place in your life. But doing this, being here with me… that took a hell of a lot of courage."
Ianto nodded slightly but he still looked despondent.
Jack grinned impishly. "Anyway, maybe you were just waiting for me to come along… I am irresistible after all. When you think about it, you really didn't stand a chance."
Ianto snorted but then smirked. "You're modest too."
Jack laughed. "Well, I've never had any complaints."
"So, it's all your fault then," Ianto said accusingly, but his eyes sparkled with humour. "You've corrupted me."
"Hmm. Well I am very good…" Jack paused and gave Ianto a deep, greedy kiss to prove his point. "But I don't think I'm that good."
Ianto groaned and shook his head. Then with a small sigh he settled beside Jack and they lay there silently for several minutes, lost in their thoughts.
Eventually Jack spoke again, giving Ianto a gentle nudge. "So, is this something you'd like to do again?" he asked carefully.
"Yep," Ianto replied with the hint of a smile.
"Good." Jack smiled, surprised by how sure Ianto sounded. He was trying not to think about the enormous sense of relief he felt, and how his heart was doing something a bit weird. He squeezed Ianto's shoulder slightly. "Me too."
Ianto pulled away and looked at Jack in surprise. "You want to do this again? With me?" he asked.
"Absolutely. Only if you want to of course," Jack said hurriedly and then cringed inwardly at how needy he must have sounded.
"Yeah, I want to. I just assumed…" Ianto started awkwardly. "I thought that this would be a one-time thing."
"I suppose that's what I thought too." Jack shrugged a little. He paused as he tried to decide how to reassure his friend. "But I like being with you."
Ianto looked away, and then asked quietly, "So I… was it really okay? I, um… I don't exactly have a frame of reference here."
Jack chuckled. "You were amazing, Ianto," he replied as he cupped Ianto's face and tilted his head back to meet his gaze. "Trust me. You have nothing to worry about."
Ianto looked at him searchingly and then returned a small smile.
Jack looked at Ianto, properly studying his disheveled appearance. His hair was sticking out at odd angles, and it was so unlike how Jack was used to seeing him. It reminded him of the morning after their drinking binge at his apartment. He thought back to that first meeting in his office when he'd desperately wanted to ruffle up the immaculately groomed younger man. Back then, he never would have believed his wish was going to come true.
Ianto's face looked relaxed, and he looked younger and less haunted. Jack felt a stab of sadness overwhelm him as he realised that when he next saw Ianto, he would be shrouded in a pristine suit, with his impassive mask firmly back in place. He ran his fingertips down the side of Ianto's face, feeling the hint of stubble, as he traced Ianto's jaw line.
"I like you like this," he murmured as he scratched the pad of his thumb across Ianto's chin.
"I hate it," Ianto groaned, and Jack knew that he hadn't understood what he'd really meant.
He recovered quickly and gave a soft chuckle. "I guess it doesn't really fit with your image. But you look…"
"Scruffy," Ianto suggested.
"Gorgeous." Jack grinned widely.
"Don't be ridiculous, Jack," Ianto scoffed.
"I'm not! You're beautiful," Jack declared.
Ianto, somewhat predictably, rolled his eyes.
Jack smiled, and pulled Ianto in closer, wrapping his arms tightly around him. Ianto settled placidly against him and rested his head down on Jack's shoulder again. He could feel Ianto's breath ghost over his skin, and he found himself wishing that they could stay like this all day, safe and warm in each other's arms.
He realised that this hadn't been at all what he'd expected. It was so much better than he'd dared to imagine. Ianto was discovering a whole new side of himself, experiencing for the first time all the possibilities of intimacy with another man, and Jack felt deeply privileged to be the man with whom he'd chosen to do that.
Finally, Jack let out a heavy sigh. "I have to go," he murmured. "I need to get home and have a shower and change." He tilted his head down and met Ianto's eyes. "You'll be okay here?"
"Yep," Ianto confirmed. "I brought my work clothes with me. I'll get ready here and then go straight to the office."
Jack kissed him softly. "I'll see you at work then."
As Jack started to climb out of the bed, Ianto reached out and took his hand and squeezed it tightly. "Jack… thanks."
Jack smiled and was touched by the sincerity in Ianto's expression. He couldn't resist leaning back down and pressing a tender kiss to Ianto's forehead.
Reluctantly, he stood up, quickly recovered his scattered clothes and got dressed. He glanced once more at Ianto who was sitting up in the bed and watching him.
With a final smile, Jack walked out the door.