January, 2010
Sioux Falls, South Dakota
Dean pulled the Impala into a parking lot adjacent to a giant music store - the largest in South Dakota, though he wasn't sure this was a difficult thing to accomplish.
He'd done a little research on this place and they boasted the largest record and cassette selection for several states.
Music is what they had bonded over in the first place, and he knew it was important to her - and this was the only way she would ever get to hear what it would be like.
Her face had lit up when she saw where they were and she was out of the car before it was fully in park.
Chuckling to himself, Dean quickly climbed out too, hot on her heels as she walked toward the store.
"I don't think you're ready for this," he said playfully and she shook her head.
"I know, but I'm excited!"
As they approached the entrance, the motion sensors on the doors caused them to slide open to greet them.
Eve stopped dead in her tracks and then took several steps backwards. "What the hell?"
Dean laughed and reached back for her hand. "There are sensors in the doors that detect motion - they could tell we were in front of them, so they opened."
"'They could tell'?" she repeated, dumbstruck as he led her inside. "How does it know?"
Dean shook his head and chuckled some more. "I am not your guy for this conversation."
As they walked inside, Dean nodded appreciatively - they had not exaggerated, this place was enormous. Rows upon rows of CDs were in front of them, and Dean could see separate sections in the distance for vinyls and tapes.
Eve stared at all of it, then looked back at Dean, silently asking permission to break loose and explore. He tilted his head toward the displays with a smile and immediately she was strolling through the aisles.
After a moment, her curiosity took a front seat and she opened one of the CD cases.
"Look, Dean - they're like little shiny records!" she cried louder than she meant to.
A few people glanced over at her, and while her face turned a little red and she lowered her voice, there was a magic in this moment that couldn't be spoiled for her.
"Is this Cher?!" she exclaimed, holding up a CD with her picture on the cover. "Oh my God, it is! She looks amazing!"
Dean's grin was fixed on his face as he watched her, flustered and excited while she looked through the CDs.
"Here," he said, moving to stand next to her and picking up the headphones that sat in front of them, sliding them over her ears. "Pick one."
She plucked one randomly out of the row and handed it to him. He slid the barcode through a scanner and the album began to play.
"What?!" she exclaimed. "Get out of town - how did you do that?"
He laughed and shrugged. "Magic!"
He grabbed another CD to show her again and her eyes got wider.
"Dean, we're gonna be here all day."
"I had a feeling we might."
"This is amazing, Dean!" Eve was clutching two of U2's albums, TheJoshuaTreein one hand and Warin the other.
It was several hours later and Dean had enjoyed every second of it. He had hesitated briefly before telling her that she should bring some of it back with her, something she had seemed ecstatic about.
Once she had carefully chosen which ones she wanted, they headed to the check out. Eve had noticed that Dean had grabbed one himself.
"Paul McCartney, huh?" Eve asked, nudging him in the ribs with a smirk.
"Yeah, what can I say? He's grown on me." His fingers clutched the tape deck tightly in his hand. This was true, but this particular album would remind him of her when she was gone. In 1979, Eve's copy of this album was well worn, the record sleeve had fallen apart and been taped back together.
She "hmm"ed as she watched him fondly and nodded.
After paying, they made their way out of the building.
"Make sure you keep those hidden," Dean said, gesturing to the bag of cassettes in her hand. "Don't show them to anyone, those are just for you. May want to destroy them before you..." He stopped walking and trailed off as she nodded. The sentence would remain unfinished but understood.
He stared at her for a moment, lost in thought and she cleared her throat. "You ready to get some dinner?"
"Yeah," Dean replied, snapping out of it quickly. "Yes, let's do that."
After a large meal, they both decided to go back and veg out at the room they had rented.
Dean turned the music down as he turned into the parking lot for the motel.
"Okay, so, I've got one more thing to wrap up the night for us. In the 80's, Pink Floyd released a kind of visual album - a movie with music from their record The Wall."
"Ooh, is it trippy and bizarre?" Eve asked, sitting up with interest.
"Those are exactly the words I would use to describe it, yes."
He pulled into a parking space and turned off the car. He turned to look at her with a sheepish grin. "I also - and I'm not proud of this - bought weed from a kid at the record store, so we're about to get all kinds of weird in here."
Eve laughed loudly, and clapped her hands together. "Perfect! What a degenerate you've become."
"Yes, well, I like to impress. Plus, this'll probably be the last of it I smoke for a while - you get in way more trouble for it now."
"Better make it count then," she replied with a chuckle. "Shall we?"
The next day had been spent exploring everywhere and anywhere - Dean had taken her to see all the things he deemed noteworthy and capped the day off at the Apple Store just to really blow her mind.
The sun was sinking as they got back to the hotel and Eve had been particularly quiet for the past hour or so.
Dean watched her carefully, waiting for her to start talking about leaving, even though they'd both promised they wouldn't.
She turned and caught his gaze on her, smiling slightly as she sat at the foot of the bed.
"What's it like?" she whispered, staring at the ground. "Dying?"
Dean sighed softly and moved to sit next to her on the bed. He had expected this too. "Honestly, the only death I really remember was the one that sent me to hell - something that won't be happening to you," he said, giving her a serious glance, reassuring her. "But, from what I understand about heaven, it's a lot like your life already was. Your greatest hits, things you always wanted to do…"
"That doesn't sound so bad," she said after a moment, a weak smile on her face.
"No," he replied quietly. "No, it doesn't."
She looked up at him briefly before casting her gaze down again. "You're going to say something stupid now, aren't you?"
"Yes," he replied honestly. "Are you sure about this?"
"I am."
"Like, really sure?"
"Dean."
"I'm just not convinced you know what this means -"
"I know what it means, Dean. It means my life for my sister's - for yours. If I stayed, I might be saving her from a life full of heartbreak, but at least it was a life! If that's the way things were supposed to be, why should we get to change it? It doesn't seem fair." She stood then, arms wrapped tightly around herself as she moved to look out the window.
"Oh, that's the unfair part?"
"Nothing about this is fair - that, I'll give you. But you know what I mean."
"Evie," he said, standing and walking toward her, "we could go back and save Kate - you could stay too, we can figure this out."
"Dean, you're dealing in 'maybes' now. There is no time - there is no other way," she said quietly, shaking her head. "You know that I want nothing else but to stay here."
He reached out for her arm. "Eve, please just listen-"
"No, you listen!" she spoke angrily, turning around quickly. "This is my choice to make and no one else's, understand?"
He stared back at her, a heat rising in his chest as he fought himself against arguing with her.
Her expression immediately softened and her voice was gentle when she spoke again. "Listen - Dean, there is nothing that I would love more than staying here, staying with you... but we both know that I can't." She took his hand and sat on the edge of the bed again, pulling him down to do the same. "This is big - huge, giant. It's the apocalypse, Dean. I've got a part to play in this - and while it's not exactly what I'd hoped, it has to be done. This is much bigger than you and me, even though it may not feel that way right now."
He nodded, drawing a sharp breath. "I know," he said softly. "I know, you're right. I just…"
She nodded too, understanding exactly what he meant. "I know our time together has been brief. I mean, we've only known each other for a year, but I... I just want you to know that I think this really could've been it, you know? That soulmate, fairy tale shit."
A small chuckle rumbled from his chest and he nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean," he said softly, patting her knee a couple of times before giving it a squeeze. "I felt the fairy tale shit too."
"Good," she breathed out, hooking her fingers through his.
"If we're confessing here, then I need you to know - I will love you long after you're gone."
She made a noise in the back of her throat before turning toward him again, her lips colliding with his.
Dean reacted instantly, one hand snaking around her back as the other slid up into her hair, holding her closer to him.
He then suddenly spun and pinned her beneath him on the bed while she let out a surprised laugh.
"I mean it," he said, face hovering above hers as his eyes flitted back and forth into her own.
"I know you do," she replied, staring back up at him. "I will too."
He leaned in to kiss her again, a booming laugh of his own escaping him as she grabbed one of his wrists and pushed hard - Dean found himself flipped onto his back as she grinned down at him.
She settled her torso over his, elbows propping her up on either side of him.
She pressed her lips to his, still wearing the grin as she whispered against them, "Always stay on your toes, Winchester."
The sunshine streaming through the thin motel curtains and into Dean's face woke him the next morning.
He ran his outstretched fingers across the sheets to discover the bed was empty next to him. He was alone.
The dread kicked in and his chest felt tight as his eyes scanned the room, landing on a piece of paper with his name on it sitting on the nightstand. Eve's flattened marble necklace lay on top of it.
He sat up on his knees, leaning forward to grab the letter and necklace with a shaky hand. He wrapped the chain around his fingers and slowly unfolded the paper.
"I'm so sorry that we didn't really get to say goodbye - I know that this needs to be done and I was afraid that you and that face of yours would talk me out of it. I will miss and love you every day that I have left on earth - and hey, since heaven is real and I'm not too terrible, maybe I'll be able to miss and love you from up there too! Please don't blame yourself - I know you will, but this isn't on you. This was the only way. I had to. I'm so glad that you got a flat tire that day. Thank you for everything - Always,
Are you smiling? I hope so.
Be a hero and save the world - then I want you to save yourself. Go do something for you, because you deserve to be happy, Dean.
Eve"
Hot tears blurred his vision and he wiped them away with the back of his hand.
She was really gone.
Dean sat frozen and cross-legged on the mattress for minutes that felt like hours.
He drew a shaky breath and finally heaved himself off of the bed. He dressed and pulled his boots on without a sound, refolding the note and sliding it, along with the necklace, into his back pocket.
He said nothing to the clerk at the counter as he slapped the door key down, pulling the collar of his jacket up as he stepped outside.
The Impala roared to life as he began the trip back across town, everything swimming around him.
He didn't even remember the drive when he found himself sitting parked in front of Bobby's, staring at his lap.
His legs felt like jello as he stood on them, his body numb as he began to walk toward the house.
He opened the front door, noticing Sam seated to his right, drinking coffee in an armchair.
Sam cocked his head slightly when Dean didn't acknowledge him and instead walked right past him to Cas.
"You sent her back without me?" Dean asked evenly.
Castiel sighed, shoulders slumping immediately. "She insisted. I'm sorry, Dean."
"I should have known she would," he said quietly, staring at the ground. "She's there now?"
"She is."
Dean looked up at Cas briefly and nodded. "And everything is... ?"
"Back to the way it was? Yes."
"Okay," Dean replied. "Good, I guess... "
"Would you like to forget?" Castiel asked suddenly, his eyes locking with Dean's. He looked truly upset, clearly bothered by the pain that had been caused. "I can make you forget all of it."
Dean held his breath and stared back at Cas, his heart racing as he considered it. He felt a chill run up his spine at the idea, his stomach twisting as he shook his head. "No," he whispered. "No, I need to remember."
"Dean," Sam spoke for the first time. "I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do?"
"No."
"Dean -"
"Can you stop the apocalypse?" Dean asked bluntly as he turned to look at Sam, who sighed and hung his head. "There's nothing you can do, Sam. I appreciate your gesture."
"Sam?" Bobby called from the kitchen, his voice getting closer as he entered the room. "You ain't gonna believe this, but I think I've got a lead on Famine -" He had been looking at some papers in his lap but glanced up at the immediate tension he felt. "Oh."
"Hey, Bobby," Dean said in his best normal voice. "Where is he?"
"It can wait," Bobby tried to dismiss it and shook his head. "I'm sorry, boy - I wish like hell it didn't have to be this way."
Dean stared back at Bobby, torn. Between telling him about the crushing emptiness he felt, and pretending to be fine.
He cleared his throat, dragging his teeth on his lower lip. "Me too," he replied. "But, it's done. Where's Famine?"
"Dean," Sam said in a pressing voice, "you don't have to do this."
"No, Sam - I do have to do this," Dean said pointedly, looking over at him again. "Doing this is the whole reason we had to send her back."
"I just meant," Sam paused, taking a breath. "I meant that you don't have to do this today. Right now."
Dean turned back to Bobby. "Well?"
After getting the information from Bobby, Cas left, mentioning that he was going to try and find Adam before Zachariah.
The brothers bid Bobby farewell also, barely making it out the door before Dean felt Sam's stare boring into the back of his head.
"I don't wanna talk, Sam," he said as they began to cross the junkyard.
"I know you don't. But, you should."
"Sam -"
"Dean -"
"Fine, you wanna know how I feel?" Dean spoke loudly as he stopped walking and turned to his brother. "I feel terrible. Fucking awful."
Sam chewed on his bottom lip as he watched Dean with a understanding gaze. "And?" he asked quietly.
"And, I can't believe how... crushed I feel. I mean, this is crazy, right? Fully unhinged crazy. I expected to feel upset, pissed as hell, but this?" He let out a sigh and shook his head several times. "I should've listened to you. Should've never asked her out, never done any of this. It was never going to end well, but I was too goddamn selfish to let that stop me."
"Maybe so, but let me ask you something - if you were back there again, with a blown tire on Highway 30, would you get in her car? Would you do all of it again?"
"Yes," Dean whispered almost instantly. "I'd do it all again. I think that's the worst part. I'd ruin her life for a year of her time."
"Listen, I know you're trying to minimize the way you feel, but you shouldn't," Sam said, giving him a knowing half-smile. "Feel this, Dean - feel all of it. Angry, sad, heartbroken, empty. I've been torn up over women I'd known for a lot less time than a year, and women I'd known longer. Losing someone you love is painful. It's all the same, Dean."
Dean stared back at him, nodding slowly, but saying nothing in return. They resumed their walk to the Impala, climbing in silently.
He started the car, the radio coming on with it. The DJ finished talking and he felt like he was going to be sick when he heard the slow guitar intro to Wish You Were Here.He leaned his head back on the seat and squeezed his eyes shut. Sucking in a deep breath, he looked slowly over at Sam, who was watching him with a pained expression.
"I know," Sam said barely above a whisper. He reached out to switch the radio off, but Dean quickly grabbed his wrist.
"Don't."
Sam instead gripped his brother's shoulder tightly. "She didn't want you to have to make this decision, Dean. She did it to save us. She knows what's at stake. What we have to do."
The blue marble from her necklace, now attached to his keychain, dangled from the ignition, sunlight sparkling off of it.
Dean swallowed thickly, letting out a breath with a heavy exhale. He turned the radio louder as he shifted the Impala into drive. "Then let's go do it."