Chapter Ten: When Fear Takes Control

Fear was something I knew all too well, I lived it, breathed it….spread it. I spread it like a wild fire in the middle of the dry season. That's all I know how to do, spread fear amongst children; bring their nightmares to life. Is that really my purpose? Is that all I'm capable of? Bringing pain and horror to the world to destroy those pathetic guardians?

I was made by the man in the moon too, before Jacqueline Frost was ever even thought of! But the man in the moon abandoned me, he gave me no purpose no future and left me to wander. All he gave me was a name, a cold heartless name….Pitch Black. I caused all kinds of turmoil, destruction, chaos. I did everything to try and make someone see me! But I stayed invisible, I stayed alone.

I wasn't given a purpose like Frost. I wasn't made to be a guardian like Frost. I didn't get a choice about whether I wanted to help or not like Frost. The man in the moon abandoned me, HE LEFT ME! HE LEFT ME ALL ALONE IS THIS GOD FORESAKEN WORLD! So I'll do what fear does best, I block all the sunshine and make the world mine with darkness!

After all that's what I was made to do right? The man in the moon wouldn't have named something Pitch Black if it wasn't meant to frighten the children of the world. What other purpose could I serve than to bring and terror. I once thought I was meant to help, I tried to protect children from the things that lurked in darkness, but they didn't even notice.

I kept children from harm, saved them from the evil in the shadows; reunited parents with their wandering children. But not once did they see me! Or care that I was falling into that same darkness, that I was becoming the evil in the shadows; that I was twisting the straight path in the night to confuse them. At first I did it accidentally, not even realizing I was leading them astray; and then I found out I liked it.

I liked watching them stumble around all alone, because then they knew how I felt; but still someone always found them. I was never really able to keep them, but I always made them very afraid. Most never went back into the darkness, they never wandered beyond the boundaries of the homes. So I found my way into their dreams. Turns out Dreams can be much much easier to play with.

I had a special talent for wiggling into dreams, I had an even better way of turning their dreams into something frightening. I could take them to places they'd never forget, show them things that would leave them screaming in terror. But I could only get to the kids, I can't break into the adults and they're the ones I want. I want to leave them writhing in fear as they thought the world was ending.

NO THAT'S NOT ME! I DON'T WANT THAT AT ALL! What I really want, what I want more than anything else is to know my purpose in this world. What the man in the moon really meant for me, or to vindicate that this is my real purpose! I just want answer, I just want to be acknowledged, I just want to be seen by some one! ANYONE! PLEASE GODS SEE ME! DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE IN THE DARKNESS.

I don't want to be feared, I don't want to be in shadow, I don't want to be the enemy. But how can I fight a destiny that I never signed up for? How can I fight the person who made me what I am? How can I change if I'm drowning in my own fear? I'm not like the other he made, I'm different. All of them have a past and a present, I have nothing but the dark path laid before my eyes.

I have no place in this world, no one to love me…to see me…to chase away my nightmares. I just want to stand in the light of day and not regret what happened in the dark. I know what you're thinking…I'm evil, I'm a horrible creature. Do you blame the lion for slaughtering the lamb? Or begrudge the tiger when he kills the gazelle? Why then do you blame the darkness for doing what the darkness does? Wjy do you blame fear for being frightening?

I sat in the darkness of my prison, the place I had claimed as my home. I sat there in the silence of the night listening to creatures I called my brothers hunting. You don't blame the wolf for killing, or the bird, or the feline. But you blame fear for being what fear is. I don't want to be this any more, I want to be something more….but If I can't be loved then I will be feared and I'll never let anyone forget what happens with Black descends from her throne; When Pitch comes to call.