"Hey, handsome," Mercedes' voice came through the phone three days later. She sounded a little too perky for Kurt's liking.
"It's too much," Kurt said bluntly, staring at the check in his hand.
"It's not all mine. Artie donated five hundred of it. Baby, it's okay. He's a director. I'm a multi-platinum recording artist. I have the money to give up."
"Four thousand dollars?" Kurt raised an eyebrow.
"I could give you more but I also donate to other charities," Mercedes simply said, like it wasn't a big deal.
"I can't accept four thousand from you and five hundred from Artie," Kurt replied. "Take some of it back."
"Not gonna happen," Mercedes laughed. "Consider it my payment for leaving your ass behind in New York, when you swore I couldn't leave you."
"That's not the same thing," Kurt mumbled.
"I don't really care," Mercedes snapped. His tone became more serious and she said, "look, Kurt, five hundred thousand dollars is a lot of money. You and Blaine aren't going to get there on your own. This is the least I can do."
"Well, thank you," he said sincerely. "Blaine and I really appreciate it. I'll never be able to thank you enough for this."
"Of course," Mercedes replied. "Listen, I can't really talk long. I'm on a break in the studio. Can we talk more about this later?"
"Sure. Love you," Kurt said, hanging up the phone., he set the check on the kitchen table and moved toward Belle's closed bedroom door. Reaching for the handle, Kurt closed his eyes and took a deep breath, before he opened the door.
The room was still perfectly clean. He hadn't been in the room at all, after his first time in there. It was too much to handle. But Kurt was feeling so empty without Belle. He just needed to be near her in the best way he could.
Sitting down on the bed, Kurt stared at the picture on her night stand and ran his fingertips along the edge of it. Yes, they were getting donations, but was it ever going to be enough? A day without Belle felt like an eternity. How many more days did did they have to suffer through?
"We're gonna get you back soon," he whispered. "Stay strong for me." He felt his lip quiver and decided to lay back on the bed. Hugging her pillow, Kurt buried his face in it and took a deep breath, consuming himself in her scent. Tears began falling from his eyes and, this time, he didn't try to stop them. There had been so many times that Kurt had to stop himself from breaking down. He hated how weak he had felt since Belle's disappearance, especially when he had to be strong for his husband. But this time, Blaine wasn't here, so Kurt let the sobs wrack his body until he felt his body go limp.
Even then, he didn't move. He couldn't move. He felt so hopeless.
The front door opened some time later. By then, it was dark outside. "Babe? Are you home?" Blaine's voice called from the living room.
Sitting bolt upright, Kurt listened. He heard Blaine set his keys down on the kitchen table. He probably saw the check sitting there. Kurt got up from the bed and rushed to the bedroom door. He quietly shut it, just as Blaine said, "Holy shit."
Moving into his bedroom, Kurt dodged into the bathroom and splashed cold water on his tear-stained face. He looked at his pale expression in the mirror and sighed. Blaine was going to notice that he looked weary.
"Oh, you are here," Blaine smiled, entering the bathroom. Blaine looked rather tired himself. He had been looking tired for a while. Blaine narrowed his eyes at Kurt, leaning on the sink. "I called for you."
"Didn't hear you, sorry," Kurt lied.
"I found the check from Mercedes. Can you believe she sent that much?" Blaine's voice had a happier tone to it than usual. He stepped forward and kissed Kurt. "I feel like we could actually make this happen."
"We still have a long way to go," Kurt commented, instantly regretting it.
The negative comment caused Blaine to frown. "Just once, Kurt, I wish you could enjoy something with me. Come on, we have a lot more money than I thought we would by now."
"Geez. I'm not trying to be negative, Blaine," Kurt said hotly. "I'm just trying to be realistic. Yes, we have a few thousand, and that makes me so happy, but we still have so far to go."
"I just don't want to focus on how much is left. I just want to be grateful that we have people in our lives that are kind enough to help us in a crisis," Blaine replied, crossing his arms over his chest.
"I'm grateful for that too," Kurt threw his hands in the air in exasperation. "It's just that... You don't - You don't understand how I'm feeling."
"Really? Because last time I checked, Belle is my daughter too. I think I know exactly how you're feeling, because I'm in pain too, Kurt," Blaine shot back.
"I know that!" Kurt yelled, slamming his fist on the sink. "Don't you think I know that this has been hard for both of us? That doesn't mean we have the same emotions. I know that you've been coming home drunk on nights you're out later than I expect you to be. I know that you've been keeping yourself closed off because you suddenly can't talk to me about things. And I know that you've been texting someone a lot more than usual, because I keep wondering why you talk to someone else when you should be coming to me with your problems," His voice cracked. Tears sprung to his eyes once more and Kurt cursed himself for breaking in front of Blaine.
"This isn't all my fault!" Blaine yelled. "You keep yourself closed off too. How am I supposed to talk to you when I don't know how to approach you? You've been different since Belle disappeared."
"I've always tried to hide my emotions. That's nothing new. Don't turn this on me, Blaine Anderson. You're the one who's been acting strange since it happened." He stepped closer. "Why are you resorting to drinking? You know how much I hate that. You know I've been sensitive to drinking since that drunk driver hit Finn's car and..." he trailed off, images of the night Finn died flooded his mind.
"This isn't about Finn. I'm not trying to hurt you. It's just my way of dealing with this," Blaine pulled at his curly hair with trembling hands. "I can't drown myself in my work the way you do, because those damn kids with their problems only remind me that my daughter has problems a lot worse than half those kids. I hate my job. It's a constant reminder of Belle. I can't help that when I'm done, I just want to forget that my chest hurts."
"I didn't know you hated your job so much. How am I supposed to know that when you won't talk to me?" Kurt snapped, hands on his hips. "If would just talk to me - "
"And what? Tell you that I'm so miserable that I can't stand this any more. I don't know what to do," Blaine cried. "I don't know how to talk to you about this because we're both out of our minds from fear."
" I still want you to talk to me! I'm your husband. We're supposed to be coping with this together," Kurt said. "We shouldn't be pushing each otter away. It only makes matters worse."
"We're too late for that, aren't we?" Blaine said in a hollow tone. "All we've been doing is pushing each other away."
"Can't we change that?" Kurt begged. Stepping closer, he placed his hands on Blaine's shoulders and met his eyes. "I just... I can't lose you too, Blaine and I feel like you're slipping away from me."
Blaine remained silent for a moment, before he shrugged and admitted, "Kurt, I don't know what to do anymore."
Feeling his heart drop to his stomach, Kurt wished he could make Blaine see that they had to fix this. They couldn't keep pushing each other away. "So where does that leave us?"
Biting his lip, Blaine pushed his hands away and admitted, "I need time. I'm just - I'm lost in my head right now and I think you're crowding my space a little."
Taking a step backward, Kurt felt like he couldn't breathe. He took a moment to catch his breath, before he nodded, and said, "Fine. Um... Okay. If that's how you feel."
"Kurt," Blaine said firmly.
"No, I get it. I feel the same way. I'll - uh - I'll give you space," he brushed past Blaine and moved into the bedroom. Grabbing his phone charger off the night stand, Kurt darted from the apartment without a glance back.
"Kurt?" Rachel's soft voice came from his left. She sat down on the couch next to him with a cup of tea in her hand. "You've been here for two days and you've barely spoken to me. Do you wanna talk about what happened?"
Kurt sighed heavily, taking the cup of tea from her. "I just don't know where I went wrong with him. I didn't know he'd push me away."
"What do you mean, sweetie?" she asked, placing a hand on his knee. "I'm a little out of the loop. You showed up here two days ago and only told me that you couldn't be with Blaine right now."
Shaking his head, Kurt stared at his mug and said, "Things have been building up for a while. There's no communication. I feel like he's shutting me out. And then he has these crazy ideas like wanting to move. He suddenly hates our life: his job, New York."
"Blaine wants to leave New York? You're not serious, are you?" Panic filled her eyes and she asked, "What about me? What about the... the baby?"
Placing a hand on the small bump of her belly, Kurt frowned, "I guess we'll have to cross that bridge when it gets here. I don't want to leave New York, Rachel. I built a life here because I was miserable in Ohio. We have everything we need right here."
"You just don't have Belle," Rachel concluded. "And that's something neither of you can live without."
"Yeah," Kurt nodded. "She's the reason he wants to go back. We lost her there, so I think he's hoping we'll find her there. It just seems so far-fetched after we found that note here."
"So what happens if you're on two different ends of this idea?" Rachel asked.
Kurt shrugged hopelessly, "Blaine is not in the right frame of mind right now. He's not thinking straight and I don't know what to do."
Squeezing his hand, Rachel smiled weakly, "Sam and I are here for you guys. We love you and Belle very much. I'll see if I can get Sam to talk to Blaine. And if that doesn't work, I'll talk to him."
"Thank you, Rachel," Kurt whispered. He gave his best friend a hug, "You are truly the best. I'd be lost without you."
"Aw, of course. You know I'm always going o be here for you," she kissed his cheek.
"I know and that's one of the many reasons why I love you," he replied. "Enough about me. How are you? Are you still pretty nauseous?"
"All the time," Rachel scrunched up her face. "It's been awful. I'm throwing up a lot more than I ever did with Belle."
"I'm sorry, lady," he frowned, rubbing her thigh gently. "I feel awful that we're putting you through this again. I did mention that you didn't have to, right?"
"Only a dozen times," Rachel laughed. "I told you that I wanted to do it again. Sam and I aren't getting married any time soon, so at least someone can blow me up. I mean, he can't now anyway because I'm already there but we haven't... done it in a while anyway."
"You guys aren't...?" Kurt trailed off.
Shaking her head, Rachel said, "he's been really distant lately. I don't know if it was the talk of pregnancy before or the fact that I am pregnant that turns him off. Unless he's unhappy for another reason.
"Maybe," Kurt shrugged. "Don't worry, Sam loves you. Give him time."
"You mean once I'm not as big as a house?" Rachel pouted, motioning to her nearly flat stomach, causing Kurt to chuckle.
"I don't know," Kurt said, not wanting to admit that her pregnancy might be a problem in their relationship. At the time Kurt and Blaine made the choice to have a baby, Sam said he was fine with it. Had he changed his mind? Kurt hated the thought of Rachel getting hurt again because of something he did.
"Maybe you should tell him how you feel," Kurt suggested, shrugging.
"Yeah, right," Rachel said, tears forming in her eyes. "My emotions have been everywhere and I don't think Sam knows how to handle it. I can't control how I feel and I'm so scared for Belle. I've been a wreck and I think Sam is overwhelmed."
"You know what we need?" Kurt said, standing up. "I think we need to treat ourselves. Let's go get a massage, grab dinner, and go see a musical."
"I'm not sure I want to hit Broadway. It'll only remind me that I'm currently unemployed," Rachel pouted, rubbing her stomach.
"But you just came off a great run! You'll get back into it as soon as the baby comes, I promise, sweetie," Kurt cupped her cheek and brushed a tear away. "At least let me feel like I can do something useful."
"Okay," she sighed. "But I wouldn't do it for just anyone, so feel special."
Kurt still hadn't confronted Rachel and Sam about the ransom fee. He didn't want to give Rachel another reason to worry. She had enough on her plate, and Kurt was nervous to do it without Blaine. However, giving Blaine space meant that he had hardly spleen to his husband.
But things changed when Blaine shot Kurt a text message two days later.
(4:06) Blaine: Will sent a check for $1700. Just so you know.
(4:12) Kurt: That's great! I'll give him a call and thank him.
(4:17) Blaine: I really am sorry about the other day.
(4:23) Kurt: I know you are but I also know you were right. I'll be home tomorrow and we can talk.
He then dialed the number of his former teacher, who didn't respond. Leaving a voicemail, Kurt said, "Hi, Mr. Schue, it's Kurt. I just wanted to thank you for your donation. It's really more than I expected and it's so greatly appreciated. If you don't mind, call me back so I can properly thank you."
"What donation?"
"Huh? Oh, nothing," Kurt set his phone down, glancing over at Sam, who had just entered the apartment.
"Ah, more secrets. Think Rachel will forgive you this time?" Sam asked.
"For what?" Rachel came in behind Sam. She set her purse and her coat on the kitchen table and frowned. Hands on her hips, she glanced between Sam and Kurt and ordered, "Don't keep things from me to protect me. Tell me what's wrong."
Running a hand over his face, Kurt said, "You might want to sit down for this."
Sam and Rachel exchanged nervous glances, before they took a seat at the table and linked hands. "Talk, Hummel," Rachel snapped.
Sitting down across from them, Kurt started, "Please know that Blaine and I were going to tell you. We just haven't had a chance."
"No excuses. Give it to me straight," Rachel said.
"A note was slipped under our door with a ransom fee for Belle," Kurt told them. "They want five hundred thousand dollars. Blaine and.i didn't want to bother our friends and family, but my dad and Carole told us that people feel good about contributing to a good cause for people they love. We approached the glee club when we went to Ohio. Mr. Schue, Mercedes, and some of the others offered to help."
"Holy shit," Sam mumbled after a long pause, his eyes as wide as saucers.
The room was silent for another long moment. Rachel began crying and buried her face in her hands. Sam rubbed her back soothingly and whispered, "it's gonna be okay."
Rachel started hitting Sam's arm and cried, "Don't tell me it's gonna be okay. This is a disaster. Things just keep getting worse!"
"At least we have help. We'll get there. It might just take time," Kurt said unconvincingly. He looked to Sam for help.
"Yeah? How much do you have?" Sam said bitterly, clearly not ready to help him.
"Only a few thousand," Kurt admitted.
It only made Rachel cry harder. She buried her face in Sam's shoulder, as her body trembled in his arms. Her sobs filled the silence and Kurt wasn't sure how to proceed.
"We'll contribute," Sam finally said. "I think we can pull a little bit together. I wish we could give more but with Rachel not working, we're a little tight."
"If I h-had j-just kept my job a little longer," Rachel hiccuped. She sat up and rubbed her red eyes. "I'm so sorry, Kurt."
"It's not your fault," Kurt said quietly, shaking his head. "We made arrangements. We all came to the conclusion that your run had to end when this happened. Your director understood."
"I still feel guilty," she grumbled, studying her fingernails.
"Rachel, we only expect people to give what they can. Yes, we might have to wait a while but we're going to get her back," he reassured her. Kurt's confidence surprised him, as much as it surprised his friends. They stared at him with uncertainty. "We'll do our best," Kurt shrugged.
"We'll help any way we can," Sam nodded. "We're family. We'll find a way to make this work, no matter what happens."