Esme P.O.V
Carlisle was still at work by the time I got home, so instead of cuddling with my hubby for the evening like I normally did, I opted for sitting in front of the TV for a few hours, listening to the droning voices of news anchors and game show hosts, my lap top poised on my knees.
I noticed all my social media, which had always been temporary and strictly monitored, had changed drastically since yesterday. My name was still the same on Facebook and Instagram, but instead of having a few photos, mostly of Nessie or Carlisle, I had hundreds of photos cataloguing my life up until just a week ago. I saw pictures from my 'college days' at Stanford and pictures from Carlisle and I's wedding, where I was, not surprisingly, much trimmer. New facts poured into my brain as I processed all of the new memories and information. None of it seemed to be real. The pictures of my smiling face alongside my family and friends…it all seemed so…surreal. Too good to be true.
I slammed the laptop shut and tossed it to the other side of the couch, a sudden anger building up inside me. I wanted to experience those memories. Why did this weird, alternate-me get to have such a normal, human life while I had to live as a damned immortal? Where's the fairness in that?
All those pictures of me, and yet…that person was not me. It was a stranger I've never met. I didn't marry Carlisle on a beach in a strapless dress a few years ago after meeting him in college. I married Carlisle a century ago in a church in an incredibly modest dress after awakening to him after so long…that was me. That was the Carlisle I knew.
But, I feel at home here. I like it for the most part. After the initial shock of everything happening so quickly, I became accustomed to and began to enjoy the regular throes of modern, human life. It is disturbing though, and heart wrenching, that someone else got to experience all the wonderful moments that came before the ones I'm experiencing now. I'll always wish for those.
"You're home early, honey."
I hadn't even heard the key turn in the lock or Carlisle's foot steps behind me before he was in front of me, pulling me up from the couch by my hands and wrapping me in a tight embrace, his lips against my ear as he spoke softly.
"I missed you today. You didn't call me on my break; I was worried about you all day. I even tried to call you once and you didn't pick up. Was work bad again?" he asked, his grip around my waist tightening.
I let go of him gently, pushing him back as easily as I could. I smiled slightly as his hand snaked down to my backside, cupping my butt, forcing me closer to him. He seemed desperately protective, more so than I had ever seen him before. Something must have happened.
"I'm sorry, I must have lost track of the time. I was quite busy with some new projects. How was your day?" I asked, trying to direct his attention away from my body for a few seconds.
His happy expression instantly faded and was quickly replaced by a solemn look that had me wondering what on earth had happened to my husband. He was hardly ever this worked up over something. As a vampire, he was quick to forgive almost anything.
Almost.
"It's…" he sighed deeply, his hands dropping to his sides as he walked to the kitchen to grab some plates. He had brought home a couple pizzas on his way home, a true blessing as I really didn't feel like cooking anything tonight. I went to help him, but he told me to just sit down and that he would handle it. I leaned back on the sofa, tentatively biting my lip.
"It's Bella again."
He handed me a glass of wine and a plate loaded with various types of pizza, a napkin folded underneath it. He kissed the top of my head softly before sitting down beside me, a plate and glass of his own in either hand.
"What is Bella doing?" I asked quietly. I sipped at the wine. It was quite delicious, surprisingly enough. I had forgotten what a wonderful thing alcohol could be, if used correctly of course. Drunkenness was not something I would ever readily condone as a vampire after suffering through life with Charles and I most certainly won't condone it here as a human. After hearing Alice and Rose attack Carlisle on the grounds of his apparent 'drinking problem' I'm worried about him, especially as he downs his second glass of red wine like a baby with a bottle, but, as always, there's little I can do. He's his own man and his own keeper.
"She's…you know. This has happened before, a couple months ago, remember? I told her to stop; I promise I did, but she's ruthless in her attacks against me. It's beginning to interfere with my life, Esme. She came to the hospital today. She came into my office without Edward noticing. I had a half a mind to call Edward down but I just told her to leave. And to think I thought she was over this crazy infatuation…"
"Infatuation? She tried to…make a move on you?" My tone was already thick with jealously. Fury began to build within my bones. No one takes my husband away from me. No one.
"More than that. I mean, last time she just told me that she was…attracted to me and that we could keep an affair a secret easily. But this time, she came in with more fury. She said I was leading her on last night, which, since you were there, you know is not true. I was pretty drunk, but I wasn't leading her on. And then…and then she said I should leave you and that she was prepared to leave Edward."
My drink slipped through my hand, automatically breaking into a million fragments on the hardwood. The fragments caught my reflection, a poor face with tears brimming on its eyes. His words cycled through my mind in an endless raid against my fragile emotions, as if on a mission to make me break down in front of him. I couldn't, no I wouldn't, break down in front of him, my strong husband. I would look tough in front of him.
"I'm so sorry, I'll clean that up," I said, making a move to stand up. Carlisle's hand clenched down on my arm, halting my escape. He shot me a hard look and I stopped trying to flee. It wouldn't do much now anyway; the tears were already sliding down my face in warm wet streaks. I mentally scolded my weakness and Carlisle's strong grip, physically and mentally.
"I'll do it later. It doesn't matter now. What matters is talking about this problem now so it doesn't arise later. I can't allow Bella to tear us apart." He wiped a tear off of the bottom of my chin, rolling the liquid around on his fingertips as If inspecting a piece of my soul hidden within my sadness. "I won't let her do that, Esme, and I want you to know that. I don't care if she is your sister in law, I will tear her to pieces if she causes any tension between us."
"She won't. I won't let her get that satisfaction. But we can't just go on and act like this never happened. We need to talk to her and Edward," I reminded him. Carlisle nodded, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.
"We will, I promise. But, right now, I really need to get my mind off of what happened. I need to remind you how beautiful I find your body," he said slowly, his hand gently massaging my leg as he spoke. He licked his lips and began kissing my neck softly, and then with more force, as if to prove his spoken point.
"Carlisle, I haven't even finished eating," I groaned, pulling away from his magnetic touch as I went for my plate of pizza. I was actually pretty hungry, but more then that I was too worked up over this whole incident to fall into my husband's arms without a second thought. Doubts had been planted in my head, and although I knew Carlisle loved me dearly, the thought of another woman (and Bella at that!) trying to seduce him was beginning to thoroughly upset me. Sex wasn't going to magically fix that.
"You know what?" he asked, smiling dumbly as he hopped up from the couch, his erection in plain view. I raised an eyebrow at him.
He better not ask me to suck his cock.
"Did you buy that ice cream I asked you to pick up at the store?"
I shrugged, not really knowing what to say to him, as either way I could look to be lying in his eyes. "I don't remember. I do a lot every day," I said softy as he raced to the kitchen and began rummaging through the fridge with eager excitement.
I bit into a slice of pizza as I waited for him, the greasy cheese surprisingly delicious. I took another hasty bite as I stared at him, wondering what on earth he had in store for the rest of the night.
He did always have a talent for getting creative when the need arose, no pun intended.
I was still upset, but my melancholy attitude was subtly fading into something akin to curiosity. Carlisle has always had the power to do that to me. No one but me tends to see this more inventive and rather funny side of the normally quite serious doctor, which makes it all the more special when it comes out.
He realized I was upset and he wanted to try and make me feel better. I have to give him credit for that.
"Well darling, you must have remembered because I see two cartons in here…one rocky road and the other mint. I'm going to guess you would rather have the rocky road, am I correct?"
I smiled at him and nodded. I had found out earlier today, after eating a piece of chocolate cake at the office, that chocolate was quite delicious. By far my favorite new food as a human. My mouth practically watered as Carlisle held up the carton with a grin.
"Just throw the pizza in the fridge," I told him as I got up, my muscles groaning in protest.
They never said humans had it easy, Esme.
"I think I'd rather have ice cream first."
Carlisle smiled and ushered me through the kitchen and the hallway into our bedroom where he immediately set down the carton of ice cream on the dresser and began peeling off his clothes, starting with his socks and shoes. He eyed me as he began undoing his tie with swift and graceful movements. I could tell he was wondering why I wasn't copying his own actions as I stood In front of the bed awkwardly.
He always used to undress me.
"Honey, what are you doing?"
I hadn't noticed I had been staring at my feet while Carlisle finished undressing in front of the doorway. I looked up to see him completely bare and suddenly my skin felt very hot and the room felt terribly small and my clothes felt terribly tight and my mind felt terribly numb.
And then he was right beside me, pulling me down onto the bed with his strong arms, hovering above me as if in a forbidden dance. I felt his hand run its way up the inside of my thigh, underneath my tweed skirt as he tried to get a hold of the material. "I get it; you want me to do all the work tonight. Well I'm happy to oblige."
He found the zipper and worked the fabric down my plumped waist and over my legs, down to my feet where he promptly pulled it off, along with my sheer stockings and heels, both of which I had neglected to take off when I arrived home earlier. As a vampire, they were plenty comfortable, but as a human, those heels were rather unbearable after a few hours. Relief flooded through my toes as Carlisle threw the stilettos to the other side of the room.
He ran his hands up my legs to my blouse and began unbuttoning it quickly, massaging the increasing amount of skin he uncovered as the seconds ticked by. I allowed him, hardly paying attention as I stared at the ceiling numbly. I was beginning to feel disconnected again. Once again, his touch became a nasty reminder of not only my new form, but of his immaculate body. Why was he so close to God in beauty while I could only dream?
"Baby, if you're not into this we can go do something else. You don't seem really…interested," he said, his hands suddenly stilling above the final clasped button on my shirt.
I sighed and glanced at him, almost annoyed. "I'm interested."
He looked at me weirdly and got up from his position above me. "You don't look interested. Is something wrong? Are you still worked up over what happened this morning?"
I thought he was going to get dressed again and leave me alone for a bit, but instead he just grabbed the carton of ice cream and came back to the bed, a slightly worried expression on his face as he straddled my waist. "You know I love you, Esme. I was thinking about this all day at work. I think you're beautiful."
Now's he's really trying.
"I know you do."
He reached down and finished undressing me, pulling the remainder of my clothes off and tossing them across the room. He smiled as he stared down at me, brushing away a few stray strands of hair as he caressed my cheek.
"I think you're so beautiful, and sweet and kind and funny. I love you."
I was about to answer, but my reply was cut off as Carlisle placed the cold spoon he was holding on my right nipple, his other hand clamping down on my other breast tightly. I couldn't stop from moaning as he teased both of my nipples into alertness and situated himself between my legs, so he was almost touching my entrance. He reached for the ice cream and opened it swiftly, spooning out a large scoop with the utensil and holding it up to my mouth. Eagerly, I sucked the chocolaty mixture off the spoon and panted, awaiting more.
Carlisle laughed and fed me another spoonful, allowing a small drop to land on my breast. Our eyes met briefly as he leaned down to lick the chocolate spot, eliciting a slow groan form my throat. I couldn't help it this, this, reminded me so much of what our relationship was like before. Carlisle loved to do little things to spice up our love life, and although ice cream probably wouldn't have had anything to do with it before, it made perfect sense now. I reveled in this newfound parallel and rejoiced in the familiarity of my husband. This was the man I loved. This was the man I knew.
Carlisle didn't stop spoon feeding me until the carton was completely empty. By that time my legs were practically trembling with want and my breathing had become erratic and strained. I was dying for a release, and my fully erect husband was more than willing to give it to me.
He thrust into me in one swift jerk and we moaned in mutual appreciation. He rocked above me for a few seconds before gripping my upper torso with both hands and flipping me above him, so he was on the bottom. Amazed at his strength (when compared to my own) I just stared at him for a moment, awe struck by my spectacle of a husband.
He grabbed my shoulders and began thrusting upward roughly, hitting that perfect spot every single time. Although it wasn't my normal body, and although it still felt very foreign to me, I was beginning to become accustomed to it in brief moments. For a second or two, it would feel as if I had never been a pound skinner, and then I would be back to normal, a distant feeling within me once again.
But here, in this moment, as I loomed above my husband, bountiful breasts bouncing beneath my plushy stomach with every thrust, I couldn't hate myself. I just couldn't. I couldn't hate what Carlisle got so excited over. I loved what Carlisle loved. It had always been that way.
"Esme…Esme…Esme…" Carlisle chanted my name as he pushed into me one last time. I hit my high just as Carlisle hit his, our screams echoing one another. I felt him release inside of me and pull out a moment later, a stream of warm, sticky liquid sliding down my inner thigh. I looked down at his grinning face and couldn't help but laugh.
"That was…amazing…" he panted, still a little out of breath.
"I agree."
He pulled me down from above him and placed me carefully beside him. He caressed my belly and breasts softly, tugging at my nipples as I moaned softly, utterly exhausted by our workout. No wonder humans are always so tired; one round of sex is enough to make me want to sleep for a week.
"Are you okay?" he asked. I searched his blue eyes for a moment, wondering whether or not, just for a second, he knew my secret.
"Hmm…now I am," I murmured, reaching up to touch his cheek gently.
He sighed but smiled slightly. "Are you sure? You've been so upset today. I'm worried about you."
If the roles were reversed I suppose I would have been worried about Carlisle, so I understood where he was coming from. And, to be honest, if he had asked me before that explosive sex I probably would have told him that I felt disconnected from him and from this life. But now…let's just say I feel very connected to my husband.
"Don't be worried. I love you more than anything. Don't ever doubt that, Carlisle Cullen. Just know that I love you regardless of anything else."
He nodded and made a move to get up from his position beside me. I thought about grabbing him and not allowing him to leave, but I knew he had work to get done before going to work tomorrow, so I let him leave. He kissed my head softly and walked back to the kitchen, a low slung pair of sweats around his waist.