Disclaimer. All publicly recognizable characters, settings etc., are the property of their respective owners. The original characters, ideas and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. I only do this for fun.
Author's Note. I have created a new penname for all of the Collaborations that I do with my Co Authors. They can be found under Xo Bella's Collaborations oX, so feel free to go and check them out as well! If you would like to become one of my Co Author's, PM me at either penname! – B
Chapter 10: Fuelling the Fire
(Isabella's POV)
I closed the door behind me and slid down on to the floor, my whole body still alive from his touch. My skin was flushed from the heat between us and embarrassment. Had he really wanted that? Or was it just because he felt sorry for me, the poor little sniveling broken girl? If I had any sense I wouldn't have kissed him and I wouldn't let myself get so excited, so comfortable with him, but I had and I will pay the price for it in the end.
How far would he have let it go on before he stopped? Would he have pushed me away? If he had, it would have fuelled the rejected feeling in me even more from all of the rejection that I've faced from all of those that I cared about in the past.
I sent a silent prayer to God and began thanking him for sending the cop.
Why have I let him in? I knew better than that, or well, I thought I did, but I've been proven wrong, I guess. It had felt so right though, his lips moving with mine, his strong hands caressing my skin. We fit together, yet it's impossible; we are complete and total opposites.
But they always say that opposites attract.
What about the fact that I'm his natural food source? I have the blood that keeps him alive running through my veins at this very moment! I don't hold a grudge against him or any fear towards him for being what he is nor the fact that he's a human drinking vampire, but what if he gets too hungry one day? I'm gone! But it is a risk that I've taken before. The question is: am I willing to take it again?
I moved here to get away from the supernatural, but now, after only a few days, he's turned my world upside down once again. I've been thrust back into that stage in my life; the stage where I constantly doubt everything including my feelings and even where my heart lies... or rather who it lies with. Does it still lie with him? Defiantly! But does he have the whole thing? Has Jasper started to accomplish the impossible? Was he really making me forget about him? When his lips are on mine and when our eyes meet I've realized that he doesn't even enter my thoughts! In those specific moments and more, it's all Jasper.
Is Jasper slowly starting to gather up all of the pieces of my heart? And does it count that I'm not really getting them back, that he's keeping them for himself even if he doesn't realize it yet?
My phone started vibrating in my pocket, startling me out of my thoughts. I reached into my back pocket and whipped it out, briefly scanning the caller ID: Leah.
"Hey," I whispered after I hit the 'talk' button.
"Hey, what's wrong?" she spoke softly as her voice filled with concern.
"I forget everything when he's around. He makes me laugh, smile, and he makes me feel like the girl that I used to be - the good side of me. Yet, if he knew the extent of the damage inside of me, would he still be here? Would he still continue on trying to fix me? Make me smile?" It was more spoken thoughts rather than a question.
"Who?" She asked with curiosity filling her voice.
I couldn't tell her the truth! Could I?
"Isabella?" She asked, her tone filled with authority. Her voice was carrying the words through the phone, loud and strong.
"Jasper," I admitted quietly as I prepared for her reaction.
The line was dead silent and I could almost hear her brain working overtime with an overload of questions going in and out of her brain.
The she suddenly gasped and I cringed as I expected her response. "Tell me I'm wrong!" I cringed again knowing that she had figured it out just by his name. "Isabella, tell me it's not who I think it is; tell me that it's not one of them." She spat out the word 'them' like a curse. Though, realistically, to her they were.
"I..." I didn't have words to say. I mean, what could I say? I had promised myself, her and everyone else that I would never let them ruin my life again. Yet, Jasper isn't ruining it. He's... he's making it better.
"Why? After everything, why?" she snapped, her voice sharp as razor blades.
"A coincidence led to us into a friendship. He's helping, Lee-lee! I actually smile when he's around and he makes me laugh. He awakens these feelings in me that I never thought I would feel again! He even makes me forget the pain, even if it is just for a short time; for that brief period of time, I'm Bella! I'm that girl again." I sighed out and crossed my legs while I ran a hand through my hair.
She was silent for a while, deliberating before replying, "Have you forgotten what they did to you in the first place?"
"No, but he didn't do anything..." Sure, it was a little lie. He did do something, but it wasn't all him.
"He attacked you, Bella!" She laughed out humorlessly.
"He won't hurt me." I said adamantly. "It wasn't even his fault last time."
"How can you be so sure?" She asked dryly.
"Because he's changed! He's different and he's like me, Lee-lee! I wasn't the only one that they left behind and they did it in a lot more of a savage way with him. He didn't have a choice when it came to the part he played when he left me and I never blamed him. I can see the pain in his eyes. It's just like looking in to a mirror. We are the same, yet completely different, but we are helping each other. I need him Lee-lee, but I need you too." She understood the unspoken question.
"I'm always here for you, Isabella. I'm here no matter what and I can promise you that." She spoke softly, sadly.
"Thank you," I sighed in relief.
"I want you to be happy, Isabella. Like I said, you more than anyone else deserves to find happiness. I know you'll find it; you can't not find it and if you think that it is... Jasper, then tell him the truth; tell him everything. Let him in..."
The conversation ended shortly after with a sad goodbye filled with questions. A strain has been put on our comfortable relationship and only time will tell us how it will affect us, but I was telling the truth; I need her as well as Jasper.
His name teleported my thought pattern back to the kiss and I let the tips of my fingers trace my lips and sighed. I closed my eyes, setting my imagination free and I felt it all over again; his hands on me, his lips brushing against mine with his quite moans for more filling my ears. I let myself believe that he wants me just as much as I want him.
A shift in the air alerted me to his presence. My body was suddenly alight as the small embers began turning into a roaring fire as his presence fueled the fire within me; fire filled with want, need and passion. I didn't turn around, but it didn't seem to faze him.
"I couldn't leave." He explained quietly, his voice low and hypnotizing.
I inhaled, "Why?" I wondered out loud.
"I promised you that I would be here..." I exhaled as he continued to speak, "and I don't want to leave." I frowned, but he couldn't see as confusion flooded my mind. "Look at me?" He requested with his voice closer than it was before.
I turned slowly and there he stood in all his glory. My breath caught in my throat as I saw the intensity in his eyes. I couldn't look away and it seemed that he couldn't either. He stepped forwards until he was right in front of me.
"I don't want to be apart from you..." he admitted as he leaned his forehead on to my own; an intimate gesture leaving me a complete mess and unable to talk.
I placed my hands on his hard chest, the fabric of his thin shirt letting me feel the coolness of his skin.
"Why?" I whisper softly.
One hand palmed my cheek as his thumb caressed my skin softly, tenderly.
"Because for some reason you bring out a part of me that I never knew existed. I need you, Isabella; I need you as much as you need me..." his lips brushed lightly against my ear as he spoke. My head lolled back slightly. It felt as if there was no strength left in my body. His breath and his lips on me was enough to make me swoon.
A tear slid down my cheek and, like before, he kissed it away, but this time I knew it was because he felt it too. He felt the connection on some level and that made my heart swell and my spirit soar.
._.-;'~0~';-._.
We stood, only moving to look out the window. His arms wrapped around me from behind with mine overlapping his. My head was leaning back comfortably on his chest. I felt safe, secure and happy, among other things.
"Forgetting someone we love is like trying to remember someone you've never met. We never truly forget, but sometimes we need to move on. People think holding on makes them strong, but sometimes it's the letting go..." he said softly.
"I don't think that I'm strong enough." I whispered out in to the silent room.
I felt a hand run through the hair on the back of my head, "You're plenty strong enough," he whispered back confidently.
"How did you do it?" I asked looking over my shoulder at him.
"How did I do what?" he asked perplexed.
"How did you let go of Alice?" I ask softly as I turned my head back around so that I was facing forward once again.
His grip tightened around me slightly, his posture stiffing. I ran my fingertips up his arm in a soothing motion and relaxed for his sake more than mine. "She told me to." He finally answered quietly with emotion thick in his voice.
"Have you?" I turned in his arms so that I was facing him. I think that if he could cry he would have most definitely been. He looked into my eyes and held my gaze as he answered. "I think I'm starting to." He said leaning further down, his lips brushing softly against mine.
"There are times when I think that it's possible to let go, but then I remember and it seems nearly impossible." I whisper with my lips brushing against his as I spoke. He didn't attempt to move his lips away from mine nor was I about to pull away either.
"Remember what?" he asked softly and I paused as I began looking into his crimson eyes. In that moment, he was all there was in my world, but then he blinked and the trance between the two of us broke and I remembered, "That I love him." I answer simply and quietly as a tear rolled down my cheek. I didn't look up, too ashamed of myself and feared the disappointment that I thought I would see in his eyes.
"What happened, Bella? What happened to you?" he asked, his voice filled with pain. I winced, but then he lifted my face to look back up at him.
The first thing that I noticed was that there wasn't any disappointment or pity in his eyes, only concern and compassion along with adoration and something else that I couldn't name at the present time. I took in a deep breath and finally, I nodded.
I told him everything from the moment him and his family left on. I told him how I was broken and that he fixed me along with the others. I explained how they became my family and how he was my everything. I told him all about imprinting and I told him that I also thought it would never happen, because he seemed so adamant that it wouldn't. I told him that even the elders thought that he wouldn't imprint; they said that our love matched that of an imprint's. Then, I told him the events of that day. He held me while I sobbed and he soothed me as my breath caught in my throat and my chest constricted.
"He found his happily ever after. The worst part, though, was that I saw the pain in his eyes when it he told me. I saw the love that he had for me, but it wasn't enough and he knew it. It's never enough, is it? I feel that if I let go, then I've given up and I don't want to give up! I just..." his palm cupped my cheek as his thumb tried to brush away the constant flow of tears.
"I know that it's important for you to feel like you never gave up, but sooner or later you've got to let go." He whispered and I knew that he was right.
I've held onto the constant hope of me and him for too long, an impossible hope, he's not mine anymore and he never will be again.
Happy ever after's don't exist. All we can do is live every day like it's our last together, holding on to each other for as long as destiny allows us and when the time is right and we have to let go, we will be able to knowing the time we spent together will never be forgotten and will always be cherished.
I have to let go, live by what we said. Loving someone means you care for another's happiness above your own no matter how painful the choices that you face might be. You take the pain and believe that it's worth it for them, for love. I have to let go, I have to let go for the both of us. It's so I can move on and he can live his life knowing that I've let go...
A/N: There you have it! Bella has decided what she wants to do, but what's going to happen next? Read and Review and tell me what you think!
Check out my new story that is now being posted on my FanFic page:
'Unbreakable Faith'
Summary: After the Cullen's left town, Bella's cousin, Faith, comes to live with her & Charlie in Forks, Washington. As it turns out, all the women on Faith's mother's side of her family have the gift of foresight, meaning that she already knows about the supernatural. But that's not all! When she was born the spirit of an important member of the vampire world had entered her mind and she needs help from the Vampire government's leaders. She also learns that she is the mate of the ever feared God of War and that her cousin is in danger from a crazy vampire who is out for revenge for her dead mate. And what is with all of the strange things happening to her? This only the beginning of Faith's journey! Jas/Faith Bella/Ed
If you have any questions or comments, post them in my reviews and I will answer them in my next Author's Note!
The chapter was written by I-Have-A-Dark-Side and I revised it.
Anyone who wants to become a Cowriter with me, just PM me and we can talk story ideas! You don't have to be a great writer as I have many different ways of doing collaborations. All you need is a good imagination and the will to write!
Check out my other stories!
'Attempting to Covet'
'Dhampir' COMPLETED!
'Far Fetched Realities'
'Mirror Image'
'Other Worldly Beauty'
'Dhampir: Broken Moonlight' (SEQUEL)
'Perplexing Revelations'
'Unimaginable Outcomes'
'Pretexting'
'You Promised Me Forever'
'The Heart's Desire'
'Unbreakable Faith' NEW!
'Intricate Beauty'
'Never What It Seems' NEW!
'The Major'
'Twilight ReVAMPed'
Check out my Collaboration Site!
(Xo Bella's Collaborations oX)
'Flashbacks' NEW!
'The Alpha's Mate, Crystal'
'How You Make Me Feel'
If you enjoyed this story so far, check out some of my other stories on my FanFiction page! Also, I am still accepting Twilight stories that involve Jasper/any female leads or Bella/selected male leads if anyone is looking for a Beta Reader. I will make exceptions on the characters depending on the plot. I am also now accepting Phantom of the Opera FanFictions that include Erik! I will also be accepting Bones FanFictions featuring Agent Seeley Booth, Titanic FanFictions featuring Jack, Snow White and the Huntsman featuring Snow White or Eric (the huntsman), The Ghost Whisperer that feature Melinda and Law and Order SVU that feature Elliot. I will accept OC characters as well depending on the other lead character. PM me for details!
- Bella'Xo
Xo BellaItalia oX