Random ideas troll my head nowadays. No wonder why I have a scumbag brain =w="a
It's really nice to be outdoors, ne? My only reason to stay outdoors is for fresh air and watch our Siamese kitty sleep =3=
Disclaimer: AC02 does not own grand chase except the plot and the nosy fox girl who appeared from the previous chapters. Some stuff there are coincidental and might be used as references, the rest are original ideas. And note that this is a fan fiction, which means it is created for fan purposes (just in case some people thought I'm trying to make the game look dumb and degrading it e_e)
Beware of the errors :D~
"Watch out, we're dealing with an asscake over here!"
Chapter 10
October 4 Geometry (10:32am)
It's been a month, though. But everything's still the same. The professor is explaining each theorem and postulates about the Proving Right Triangles lecture. Complementary, supplementary angles, Angle AB is congruent to Angle DE blah blah blah… People say I'm a nerd but in the reality I couldn't understand and interpret the postulates and theorems properly to the right triangles given along with the statements and proofs. So now I am sitting on my desk with an opened book on my table and I'm not even reading it.
Where's Mari when I needed her?
"Give the statements and proofs of the following items." The Geometry professor said as she browsed on the book. "Numbers two, five, seven, thirteen and eighteen. Study the theorems and postulates carefully before analysing the triangles given. I hope that helped so you can understand it more clearly."
Yeah sure… I thought as my eyes bored on the numbers given. When I looked at them, I have that certain feeling I'm gonna have a sleepless night when I get home.
When the professor left the classroom, I slammed my Geometry book shut and shoved it inside my book bag for the sake of forgetting about those problems given.
Homework: Defined to torture student brains since the start.
"Lass!" I ran over to his desk before I realized I've been chibified. "Please help me do that Geometry homework! – "
He smacked my face with his hand. "You're the expert. I was gonna say if you could help me with it."
"B-But I'm not good in Math! I'm good in magic and spells!"
Lass gave me a cocky grin. "Maybe you could cast a spell for cheats."
I gasped, horrified. "NO! Professor Elena's gonna kill me for that! She's gonna suspend me from the Violet Mage Guild and – "
"Do it for me. Just this once." Lass said with that semi-rape face as his azure orbs are gazing intently at my horrified amethyst ones.
"Me, too." Jin appeared out of nowhere with his saffron eyes gazing intently at me with that same face.
"Stay out of this!" I shoved him off but he was too strong.
"You're a magician, right?" he snickered. "Maybe you could create an ancient coin that will serve as a lucky charm coaching answers literally."
Oh gawd why…
Meanwhile, I browsed my book bag to check the books I've brought. Let's see… Geometry, English & Literature, Integrated Science, Biology, Violet Mage handbook –
Oh no. I did realize I left my History book on my desk while studying last night. I sighed in defeat and went to the other classroom where I see Elesis sitting on her desk scribbling something on a scrap paper. Since their teacher is not around, I stepped inside their classroom and tapped her on the shoulder.
"Uhmm… Elesis?" I called as she jerked at me. Her mouth is loaded with a pack of gum.
"Yeah?"
"Can I borrow your History textbook? I… I left it at home while studying last night." I said while rubbing my head timidly. Elesis stretched her arms as she handed me the textbook that was just under her desk.
"Sure, here you go. We're done with it, anyway."
"Thanks!" I smiled as I went outside and back to our classroom before the History class just started. Goody, everything went better than expected, so no worries!
"Turn your books on page fifty-two and read the first five paragraphs. We'll have an oral recitation so I advise you not to open your books when I ask the first question." Professor Karina stated as she walked around the classroom to observe each of us.
I sighed in relief. Thank the gods they gave me right timing. I opened the History book to the said page as I flipped through them. When I'm at the fifty-second page, I see the first two paragraphs with grayscale pictures from the ancient times. After about three minutes, I turned to the next page, only to see the pictures of:
-The statues scribbled with bikini wear with tits under their fascinating robes graceful bodies.
-Pictures of famous and infamous figures scribbled with funny noses and glasses, large beards, moustache, whiskers, clown cheeks, horns, fish lips, goofy teeth and eyelashes.
-A statue of a naked poised lady scribbled: "Bitch, I'm fabulous!"
-And… a woman dressed in formal attire with her back turned with a pointed arrow with the letters: "DAT ASS"
-For some reasons, Elesis scribbled a creepy-looking face on a large space saying: U MAD, BRO?
"Oooh… Miss Glenstid~" I froze when I heard Professor Karina's right beside me. When I turned my head, she has that sarcastic and half-twisted look on her face. "That sure is a fun-fun textbook~"
I gasped. "N-No, t-this i-is…"
Oh Elesis, thanks a lot for letting me borrow your textbook. Really, everything went JUST fine.
October 7 8:10pm (MY ROOM)
Tonight I'm using the laptop Mom bought for me. This thing called Internet is the latest trend and the fastest way to learn nowadays. No wonder Mari is bringing around some notebook-sized thing with her everyday. Anyway, Professor Karina gave us ANOTHER homework. Make a short summary of the Serdin and Kanavan war. I haven't been in the library… but the paper work's due tomorrow! So since I have the Internet, I could search about it. Goody!
October 7 8:16pm (MY ROOM)
To my great shock, I only found one. Oh… lucky they posted only ONE! I clicked the mouse with the given result and waited for it to load for just fifteen seconds…
October 7 8:17pm (MY ROOM)
What I've expected: The Serdin and Kanavan kingdom from the Bermesiah peninsula coexisted in the era of peace until their lands were overcome by an evil Queen of Darkness. She managed to infiltrate the Kanavan kingdom by murdering the queen's most loyal and trusted retainer and masquerading in his place. Through this despicable act of deceit, the Queen was able to get close to the Kanavan queen and entice her to the ways of darkness. She filled the queen with hatred and insidious thoughts and led her to wage a war between the two kingdoms that lasted for five years. The whole Bermesiah peninsula was devastated, and even the queen of Serdin sacrificed her life in hopes of ending the fighting…
What I actually found: BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM POW POW POW WOOOOSH! TATATATATATATA! FIRE IN THE HOLE! KABOOM! SLASH! SLASH! FIRST BLOOD!
SERIOUSLY? !
"MOM, DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE CITY LIBRARY IS?"
"Now why would you put it as a summary?" I complained at the author using her forefinger to click the downward directional key. She seems to be occupied browsing on some funny-looking pictures on a random site.
"Like I said, normal stuff are boring nowadays." She said without even looking at me. Her eyes are completely glued on the laptop screen. "That research thing, ooh I got that idea from a screenshot somewhere. I thought I should put it on this chapter for a gag." She snickered as she grinned. "It worked again, hihihi~"
My cheeks flamed red from complete embarrassment. "You can't do that! And I think you manipulated Lass and Jin to give me those rape faces, ha?"
The author paused as she gave me that confused look. "What?"
"What do you mean "What?"? You're the one writing misadventures here and – "
"Seriously, I don't know what you're talking about. Lass and Jin are commonly playful around people. I can't manipulate side characters, remember?"
I folded my arms on my chest. "Unless you put your focus on them. But why make the Internet give me ONE DUMB AND HALF-ASSED RESULT?"
"It's for ji-ey-ji if you spell it." She gave me that playful smirk as she continued scrolling down on the funny-looking pictures that I find strangely tempting to look. "You know, Amy's pestering me to make her look fabulous and flawless. The same goes to that floating demon, Ley, to make her dog the ultimate guard dog that will eat Jeeves alive…"
I smiled. "I have a request. Make Lass stay away from me, including that half-sibling stranger. That way, I could catch a break."
"Sorry. I'm not allowed to take requests from the main character. It will disappoint the readers."
"WHAT? I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WILL TRUST ME!"
"Never said I will."
"Why you little – "
She interrupted me by giving me a strong push. "Now get out of here! You're disturbing my nine-gagging session!"
"Nine-gagging? What in the world is that?"
"You don't have to know! Now, git!"
"I'M GONNA GET YOU FOR THIS, WHOEVER-YOU-ARE! AND I MEAN IT!"
She sighed as she slammed the door on my face. "Ha… who am I kidding? I never knew something so random can be worth entertaining. But… oh well~"
October 10 (Giving out quiz results day… FAIL) 8:21am
Ohh-kayyy… I did that on purpose. Too lazy to write the subject name, though. So today's the day the teacher handed out the long quiz results (dunno why, she said it's for the sake of exercising our brains for the upcoming exams for the next two weeks. I got a B… meh, still fine…
A stray paper fell from the teacher's stack as it landed lightly on the floor. Luckily the teacher never noticed it so I took the opportunity to peek.
From test D with the computations part:
Steve is driving his car travelling at 60 feet/second and the speed limit of 40mph. Is Steve speeding?
Answer: He COULD find out by checking the speed-o-meter, right? !
Find the volume and surface area of a right cylinder.(with diagram and given measures)
Answer: OH THANK GAWD, A SUSHI!
Find the value of x of the given equation: (Equation too long. Can't make the readers hang their jaws open if they see it.)
Answer: Dude… I knew Algebra teachers are actually pirates. They want us to find the X so they could find the hidden treasure.
From another part of the test, the directions say to plot the given points to create a figure. Like… connecting the dots! A giant puzzle box (only without letters) like creating a graphing paper is provided to plot the points rather than spending some effort using your school ID or a ruler or a triangle or a protractor or a straight object near you to create the x and y axis. So I ended up seeing shaded parts like forming box-like figures with a tiny note at the side:
Tetris is fun. Math is not.
I almost laughed at this part. People sure have good sense of humor, haha!
Now I found some out-of-character questions:
What is the purpose of adding dilute sulphuric acid?
Answer: To confuse us all!
How do you change meter from centimetre unit?
Answer: Simple, get rid of the centi-
And so the professor left a short message scribbled in red and large capital letters: YOUR AMOUNT OF AMUSEMENT IS TOO DAMN HIGH!
Let me guess… this is JUST another stupid gag of the author trying to make me look like a megadweeb studying in a school for idiots…
Lastly, I see this same old question: Make a summary of your life as a student. (Seems legit.)
His answer: TIKA TIKA TIKA TIKA TIKA TIKA TIKA… "YEEEAAAHHH, M-M-MONS-TAH KILLL!" TIKA TIKA TIKA TIKA TIKA TIKA TIKA… "OWNINGGG!" CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK… that's all.
Riiight… summary..~
So much for typing "awesome and funny" stuff...
"Ack! How the heck did you get in here?"
"Nyahahaha! This will make a good display~"
What came next is Dio chasing Ley across the locker room aisle. Zero sat on one corner somehow brandishing his grandark in his usual silence. For some reasons, Ley trespassed into the boys' locker room when she found the opportunity of peeking inside one and caught Dio in his boxers. She's holding a camera and successfully snapped a photo of it.
I've heard about that from one of Amy's gossips. So I'm inside the girls' locker room to change into my Gym clothes. I slammed the door shut before Elesis could even see my "mini bra". I folded my uniform and stuffed it inside my Gym locker before slamming it shut. My gaze turned to the small window where I see a pair of azure eyes bored at me.
"LASS! YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING ME ALL ALONG?"
Lass gave me that blank stare. He was sitting on that window like a frog! All this time he'd seen me changing into my clothes!
"I just got here." He said. "Thanks to Ley, Dio went berserk and almost got the other guys involved."
"B-But still, you shouldn't go to the girls' room!" I retorted. "You're embarrassing me!"
"Nah, you still have the body of a little kid. And some flat breasts…" he snickered as my face turned red from shock. My pot came out from hammerspace as I threw bombs for him to get away. But he's too fast to dodge them when he now is in front of me.
"LASS!"
"What..?"
"G-Get off!" Please don't get the wrong idea of this stupid albino standing sooo close in front of me…
"Still the childish grape-head," He smirked as his strong arm went around behind my shoulder. He pulled me close as our faces almost touched. "I like childish girls, especially soft ones."
"That half-brother of mine is fund of little girls. Don't worry. I won't try to steal you from him."
"L-LET GO!" I retorted but he won't listen. The more I struggle, the more it's turning him on. I see the door opening as Amy came to fetch me. Only I see her chocolate eyes widening when she saw Lass almost giving me that bear hug.
"Lass, you wouldn't – "
"A-Amy," I stammered. "I-I can explain!"
The pink-haired girl's shocked gaze turned into a half seductive and half playful smirk. "Oooh, I see what you did there~" She giggled as she gently closed the door. "Tell me when you're done~"
I've never felt completely embarrassed in my entire life. Just as when I was about to struggle again, Lass' hold loosened as he said:
"Let me give you something before I leave."
"Out with it." I retorted grumpily. "I don't have all day."
His face inched close as my eyes widened, obviously knowing what's gonna happen next. Instead of the scene the fans are expecting to see, his mouth gave my ear a soft bite.
Out of nowhere, the author again appears. "Ohohoho! Nice one, Lassy, you two are proceeding to the next step!"
Amy sees her as she asks. "Who are you?"
The author twitched as she stammered. "N-Nothing, just passing by. Gotta go now, BYE!" And she sprinted off, leaving Amy clueless.
End of chapter 10 :D
That locker room scene was a request from a fan. Thanks for the idea. I had fun making it xD
I'll end this chapter for now, couldn't think of more ideas. And anyway, those funny answers thing are some random stuff that popped in my head with some researching about funny exam answers :3~
And ooh, the Internet in this story depends on how the people contribute works for research purposes 8D, just like the Internet in our world today. So don't take that "Boom Boom Boom Bang" thing seriously. It's made for the lulz.
Please review~