And even more.
Chapter 10:
Standing in the ashen wasteland, Light took a deep breath as she looked around. The simple fact that she was even here was enough to make her angry. The wastelands just seemed to grate her nerves as she knew there was typically a reason.
Scanning the surrounding area as though she was demanding for an appearance of her tormentor. Any of them would do for the simple fact that she'd be very tempted to bring great harm to them. They all seemed to drag her down to this level. Down to the point that she'd be faced with nothing but this ash clogged wastelands. Everything just caked in grey on grey.
"COME ON! SHOW YOURSELVES!" Lightning yelled into abyss. Just praying that the abyss would stare back at her. Maybe then she'd be able to end this stupid song and dance entirely. When no answer came but the silence, the same type of silence that always seemed to follow in her wake.
Grumbling as she started to walk again, she could hear some light giggling as footprints started to dent once it broke the crust of the top layer. Just the simple fact of circling of her, made her slightly angered because she could guess what this was going to be about.
"Why are you tormenting me like this? Can I not even get my dreams away from you?" Lightning asked as the footprints came to a stop in front of her and the same image of her sister appeared, wearing the black lace dress. The only way that she knew it wasn't her sister, was from the voice.
It wasn't the same silken voice of her sister, who had stayed up long nights with her. It was the voice that was always in the background wanting violence to be done on everyone.
The fact those words of pure malice were constantly leaving her sister's mouth now just seemed to pain Lightning more. But she could get through this. She just had to try harder.
"Well... mostly because I'm wherever your mind wants me to be. I appear like your mind wants. Still curious about why I'm your sister in a lolita outfit. So if you want me gone, you just need to close your eyes and wish really, really, really hard and I'll vanish. Or maybe you can I don't know think of me in something different because I'm getting the urge to punch myself."
Closing her eyes tightly, Lightning took a deep breath to try and clam herself and wish this corporal form away. Cracking an eye open, Lightning frowned as she could see the black high heels.
"Guess you didn't wish hard enough. Ah well... do you think there is somewhere we can have some ice cream? I think we should totally go get some chocolate... you know the greatest ice cream flavour ever."
"Two things. One you're so wrong, the greatest flavour is vanilla. Two I know of a sure fire way of getting rid of you from my sight." Lightning stated as took a deep breath.
Bolting upright, Lightning took some deep breaths to try and calm her nerves as she started to scan the dimly lit room. Flicking the blanket off of her, she quickly jumped down, just praying that it wasn't that early because she didn't want the same lecture she got during dinner about proper sleeping hours.
Glancing out the window she smiled a little by the appearance of red streaking the sky with the soft snoring behind her.
'Not cool Light. Do you have any idea how many dead ends the doors up here have? You'd swear M. C. Escher got his inspiration from it.'
Laughing a little internally, Lightning walked over to her duffel bag and quickly crouched down to open it. Reaching in for the notebook she was given, Lightning could feel a smile as she could feel her fingers brushing up against it. Grabbing it, she quickly pulled her hand out with it in tow. Walking towards the table she quickly took a seat.
'Don't tell me you are going to be suicidal again. Because trust me, I hate trains too... about as much as we hate airships... but there are no sturdy rafters, no windows open up far enough for us... no sharp objects... we'd be in agony for no reason.'
'Why is that always your first port of call? I'm not suicidal, and haven't been since that night Dysley's empire fell.' Lightning thought as she placed her feet onto the seat across from her. Flicking open to the first empty page. Slipping the pen out from its home in the spiral metal rings that made up the spine.
Popping the cap off, Lightning started to scrawl what had been on her mind since she woke up from... well if she was being honest, she'd describe it as a nightmare. She knew that it wasn't really going to help any, but she also knew that it would probably be the for the best to just do it. That way she could claim like she was genuinely trying.
Maybe she'd even have something to show to Yuna or Serah if they ask. It would actually probably put her in a better position if she just did this. Not to mention she'd be off of this hell in a matter of hours.
'So I was wondering... hypothetically Light... if I started listing off the things that possibly affecting us... you'll stop when we hit something right? Like if I said we have abandonment issues you'd tell me I'm right... right?'
'If you say something right then maybe. Now can you shut up. I'm trying to figure out things.'
'Back to being a bitch I see... that's fine. There is a new pool table, and I'm going to take advantage of it while practising for our singing career.'
Shaking her head in some vein attempt to dissuade the voice, Light barely noticed the snoring having stopped. "Did you get enough sleep?" a small voice said causing Lightning to just look up at the owner who was sitting on the edge of the bed rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
"I got enough. I told you I don't do trains... never have, doubt I ever will. Hell it is a miracle I haven't tried to kill someone to get off." Lightning started as she turned back to her small notebook before closing it. "How much longer are we meant to be on this stupid thing?"
Standing up, Yuna started to stretch, stopping long enough to yawn briefly as she walked towards the remaining seat. Taking it, she just smiled at the teen. "We are meant to be at the end of the line at one in the afternoon, there we will meet my husband, and the head psychiatrist is even sending her husband as well just in case you take to self harm... and we'll drive the remaining hour to the institution... you're fine with cars are you?"
"I don't mind them... I actually prefer them."
"Good."
'Light is a liar~ Light is a liar~'
Smiling as she practically skipped down the hallway, Vanille was excited. She had not only been able to get some orange and chocolate waffles for breakfast, there was even her favourite juice. Not to mention she didn't need to give up any of it so she could be a good person.
To top it all off, she was going to have her visit with Fang who was her only connection to real sugar... not to mention that she didn't have any group meetings and what was becoming her standard disciplinary evaluation after a break out attempt wasn't even that bad.
Coming to a stop at the doorway, Vanille barely had enough time to catch the small item being tossed at her. Looking down at the bag in her hands, she couldn't help but smile brightly at the pink packaging with red letters.
Quickly scanning the room in the direction of where the bag came from, Vanille almost jumped for joy at the sight of the raven haired woman with red streaks who seemed to have permanent bed hair just standing up at a table.
Nearly sprinting the short distance, Vanille wrapped her arms around the much taller woman and smiled at the feeling of the strong arms encircling around her. The comfort that was being poured into her from the hug was perfect, that is until the taller woman pulled back and flicked her forehead.
Pulling back fully, Vanille started to rub her forehead with her free hand and pouted at the woman. "What was that for Fang? You're giving me mixed signals here... giving me my favourite kit kat... and attacking me like that..." Vanille said as the taller woman snapped her fingers and pointed to seat across from where she was sitting.
"Ya know exactly what that's for." The brunette now known as Fang said as she started to run a hand through her hair. "And the strawberry crap was because I got it as a gift for accepting this group to go to Gran Pulse in a few weeks. I don't understand the stupid tradition of not refusing gifts... and understand less how you can stomach that stuff." Fang continued as she began to take her own seat.
Placing the bag on the table, Vanille looked towards the woman who was like a sister to her and pouted lightly. "I still don't see why they need to tell you after every breakout attempt. I didn't even make it out of the building this time."
"YOU TRIED AGAIN!" Fang yelled standing up getting ready to smack the small red haired girl. Just barely restraining herself as she started to sit down again just taking some deep breaths to calm herself.
"Wait... what did I do to get the flick then if that wasn't it?" Vanille asked as she reached for the chocolate treats just in case they were going to be taken away from her.
"The burning yourself again. And don't go with the crap of how the burns appeared suddenly. And you didn't even hide the bandages covering your arms this time." Fang complained as she started to rub her eyes out of a mixture of annoyance and restraint from hitting the red haired teen.
As she started to bore her thumbs into her eyes as she prayed that this was all a bad dream that she'd be waking up from in a matter of minutes. Taking a deep breath as she looked towards her friend and moved her thumbs away to stare at the woman.
"What did they take away this time Van? If memory serves they can't take much more away from you." Fang spoke softly trying not to startle the slightly skittish girl as she opened the bag and started to pull out some of the individually wrapped bars.
"Nothing. I made a deal with Rosa. If I behave for a month she'll restore some of the things she had to take." Vanille said as she peeled the foil and smiled at the small pink bars.
As the silence started to befall the duo, only being broken by the sound of other people talking and the crinkling of plastic. Getting tired of not knowing what would happen if the red haired woman failed, Fang just had to speak up. "And the catch?"
"What?" Vanille started, being snapped out of her trance as she looked at her friend who was gesturing for some further information. "Oh, that's right. If I'm caught misbehaving and not taking the antidepressants, they are going to strip everything back bar for the bedding. But I'm not going to fail. Because if I did we'd have a lot more to worry about. Like how easy it would be to kill yourself if you tried." Vanille said with a small laugh.
That single action was a hard thing for Fang to hear. She never knew if Vanille was joking about that. The images from last time she still couldn't get from her mind. The fire that had danced over her body. The unmistakable stench that had filled her nose anytime the memory flooded her mind.
Getting pulled from her thoughts by a finger pressing her nose, Fang began to cross her eyes to follow the offending digit back to its owner and nearly groaned at the sight of Vanille smiling once again. "Relax, the easiest way is to overdose and that is easily remedied. And I'm already on watch. So don't worry." Vanille stated calmly as she leaned back in her seat and turned back to the bag filled with the candy.
"So, how is Scruffy? Or did you not already go down to make sure all the pens are ready for this hatching season?" Vanille asked as she took another one of the tiny bars and started to open it, her smile never wavering as she enjoyed Fang relaxing a little from the topic shift. If anything it just relaxed her further to talk about the chocobos.
"Course I've been there. And he is still the king of the roost. Didn't have any more scars since I last saw him though. So that's good."
Smiling at the thought of the what had to be now a very large chocobo protecting the area still when he was so small and nearly dead when he was a chic. It just made her remember what Yuna had once told her that everything can change given enough time.
Hell Vanille still remembered the last time she saw him... how he was the only one that she let in on what she was planning before she wound up here. Something that she still remembered how Fang came back after the next hatching season with some bandages of her own from where she had to calm the bird down and wouldn't until Fang managed to get a call through to Vanille.
"Can you get a picture of him when you go back? During a room move or two ago I lost the one I had of him." Vanille asked as Fang just smiled at her.
"Promise you are going to behave and not lose all your potential privileges?" Fang asked knowing that Vanille was going to achieve that or possibly die trying. And just the thought of that was enough to cause Fang to worry.
Groaning vocally, Vanille tilted her head back as she continued before it snapped back at Fang with the groan fading. "I don't need the extra incentive Fang. And besides, I haven't been forced to eat oatmeal yet excluding the times I gave up delicious food to Palom or Porom. Even got some of the chocolate and orange waffles. Which are just great." Vanille said with a smile as she reached into the bag for another one of the small treats. A little sad she couldn't bring them back with her.
"So why do you keep trying to break out Van? The place here seems nice... I've only ever had pleasant conversations with the staff when I'm not being informed from you doing something stupid." Fang asked fearing the answer, but maybe she'd be able to help Vanille in the long run. All it took really was her possibly getting an answer she never wanted to hear.
"It isn't though." Vanille said swallowing the mouthful that she had, letting a small cough as she looked back to Fang. "I mean we aren't even allowed normal sugar for the likes of tea. Lights out is at nine... won't even let people out at night to catching lightning bugs. And don't get me started on the fact that there is always five or six orderlies all the time watching you. Don't get me wrong most of them are cool... but the bad ones are so frequent it is almost painful." Vanille ranted off as Fang chuckled at the complaints she had. They seemed so trivial even if you dig deep down into the reasoning, but she wasn't going to call Vanille on it.
"And I think the worst part is, two of the shrinks here keep trying to tell me it is 'fireflies' not lightning bugs." Vanille said as though she had just been stabbed repeatedly.
"Well, I'm sure your crazy reasoning works in here pretty well Van." Fang said with a small laugh as Vanille lightly hit Fang arm with an open palm.
Stepping onto solid ground, Lightning just took a deep breath as she could feel most of the tension leave her. Everything was suddenly right in the world. Even if it was because she was away from just something that brought up bad memory on top of bad memory.
'Light... I'm hungry... are we there yet? My feet hurt.'
'You can't be hungry, we aren't there yet and you don't have feet.' Lightning thought as she started to follow Yuna. Just wondering why she seemed to be a little lost. It certainly didn't bring up much confidence to her that everything was right.
Staying a few steps back, Lightning could see a sandy blonde haired man walk up behind Yuna and quickly put his arms around her. As she heard Yuna let out a small scream, Lightning knew that she had to step in. Dropping her bag, Lightning grabbed the man's shoulder, causing him to separate from Yuna and delivered a punch to the man's jaw.
As he went down, Yuna let out a gasp as she looked at the man holding his jaw and back to Lightning. "Tidus!" Yuna said and was quickly by the downed man, quickly scanning over his body as she helped him sit up.
"The hell is with you!?" The blonde man snapped at Lightning who just continued to stare at him with a cold indifference.
'I don't like his tone... maybe you should punch him a few more times.'
Before Lightning could respond, Yuna delivered a smack to the other side of his face. "She is who I told you about." Yuna snapped as Lightning took a deep breath to try and ignore the laughing that filled her ears.
"Then why punch?"
"I don't know you... you grabbed Yuna and she screamed." Lightning said in a measured tone as she looked at the man who started to pick himself up. Two marks very present on his face.
"Where did you even learn how to throw a punch like that? I haven't felt one that strong since Auron." The man Lightning could assume as Yuna's husband started to stand up.
"He is one of my teachers." Lightning stated as Yuna stood up and sighed a little.
'Is that who is teaching you to lie so casually Light? Maybe I should have a talk with his parents. I don't like it when you are influenced so negatively by people.'
Scanning the area for the other man that was meant to be with the blonde haired man, Yuna rolled her eyes at the lack of his presence."Where is Cecil? I thought he was meant to be here as well."
"He is waiting by the van... we both reasoned you'd get a little lost and seeing as I can find you anywhere. Either way we should probably get going. Rosa said she wanted to talk to you about some deal she made with Van." The man spoke as Lightning picked up her bag.
'Well at least we know he doesn't bleed and bitch. Maybe this next guy won't be bad either... of course he could also need a dose of fist to the face... please say he does.'
Author's Note:
and done… leave a review if you want.