Thanks for reading, and I do not own Death Note or any song you see in here. I only claim to own my OC's.

Once again, Amora Sai sat down on her bed, feeling completely exhausted. It had been another long night. She had mostly thought about that guy who had come by three weeks ago the entire time. She might not have cared much, if the last thing he said to her hadn't been about loose ends from eight years ago. The Kira case…

Sure jumping to conclusions so big is probably ridiculous, but Ryuk was laughing when we first saw his face. He hadn't even explained why that was, which usually meant he thought it would be more entertaining to withhold the information. Just like he did with Yagami Light sometimes. She had figured out that the man she had met at the college campus, and had been waiting in her home, had been none other than the famous N, Near…..

She hadn't confronted Ryuk about this yet, but she would before she went to bed tonight. She glanced at the alarm clock. Make that this morning. She let out a groan.

Ryuk flew into her bedroom after going to retrieve the imported apples from across town. His addiction for apples knows no bounds. Apples were what she used to bribe him, and they seemed to be the only things he ate. But that didn't matter right now.

"Didn't Mr. Yoka Kuroso seem strange to you?" Her voice was nonchalant, and her body language seemed indifferent.

"Nah, he seemed like just your regular guy." Ryuk was also playing the cool character. Sai shifted onto her stomach, with her feet in the air wrapping around each other and swaying. She flicked the bangs out of her face and stared at the Death Note in front of her. Acting like all of her attention was focused on this one task in front of her, she began to write the names of her recent users, with the death description of a heart-attack occurring three months later next to each name.

Hiroki Doki: a man who was in great denial of his wife's death, and knew that she had used Jaakuna Herupa's link to kill the man who had raped and killed her mother right in front of her when she was a teenager. He also knew that his daughter was currently being stalked by a man in his late twenties. He knew who he was, because he had been his wife's assistant for two weeks. His daughter was starting to stay up late at night, sometimes rocking in a corner of her bedroom in terror. He couldn't let this continue, and the police would just take forever to deal with him, since he now had a hand in the investigating unit. Hiring a hit man might land him in jail, and he needed to be around as long as he could to watch over the most precious thing his wife had left him. Even with the idea of only having three months left, he knew he had to do something to keep his little girl from screeching at the smallest noises. He would save her; he promised his wife he would do anything it took to keep her safe.

Hiroki had made Sai hurt inside: she knew her father would not do anything to that extent for her. She grew jealous of this girl who had such an admirable person so close. But she knew she couldn't do anything about it, and she was about to write his name in her Death Note, so they were probably even. Even so, the ache wouldn't go away. She wished she knew what this girl must feel like every day. While Ryuk was gone checking out the target, she had done something she never thought she would do. She hugged him. Hard. She didn't let go until she could feel him start to get more awkward under her touch. After that, Sai was back to the indifferent façade, and her mask hid any emotions she felt cross her face.

"If that was the truth, then he wouldn't be the famous N now acting as L, would he?"

As usual, this kid's got one useful head on her shoulders. I shouldn't be surprised that she figured it out so easily. Ryuk thought to himself while he tried to keep his expression neutral.

"Don't even bother, I can already tell from your first reaction that I'm right. You burst into laughter when he looked up at us, but didn't say anything about it. And then, he sat oddly for someone who's working with my father on some of his prosecution forms. Even then, I knew he wasn't just some usual co-worker. He's working undercover on this case, and I knew it all the moment he said he was here to tie up loose ends from eight years ago."

"Looks like my ideas of having more fun were just flushed down the toilet. I guess I'll just have to make do with just you for a while." Sai just sighed and continued on with what she was doing.

There were only two people that night, but Ryuk had gotten sidetracked with apples (of course), so it had taken a while to get to the second user.

Larson Billy: A young boy who was constantly being bullied by the toughest members of his class. He didn't know why they wanted to hurt him so bad, but they just did. The worst of the group was the leader, Kidner Atkins. He was constantly shoving shit down his locker, and even went so far to put it in his backpack and throw it at his house when his mother was at home. If only it stopped there, but it didn't. Atkins had a knack for really hurting people. He had worn a mask and beaten the shit out of his little sister when he had refused to give him money, due to insufficient funds. He threatened to beat other members of his family up, too, if he didn't give him the money he wanted. That was what finally pushed Billy off the edge, and he sentenced him to death through severe beating by a gang full of all sorts of criminals.

Having younger siblings take the brunt of an attack for you, and feeling like something was eating at the insides of you, was something that Sai could sympathize with.

Unconsciously, she started singing a famous English song under her breath:

"Throw your soul threw every open door

Count your blessings to find what you look for

Turn my sorrow into treasured gold

You pay me back in kind and reap just what you sow

We could have had it all

We could have had it all

We could have had it all

Rolling in the deep

You had my heart inside your hand

And you played it to the beat

We could have had it all

Rolling in the deep

You had my heart inside your hand…"

The song sounded so right in her situation, in her life, in her everything. Why couldn't she have been given a normal life? Why did everything get so twisted? When, when did everything go wrong? Tears started to gather in her eyes, and she quickly ducked her head into the nearest pillow, concealing her face while making it look like she was just resting her head. But her throat was starting to tighten, and she had to start chanting to herself: I will not lose it. I will not lose it in front of Ryuk. I WILL NOT LOSE IT!

Ryuk took notice of the girl. "Something the matter?"

Sai lost it.

She couldn't stop crying, or rather, the tear ducts wouldn't obey her commands and stop tearing up. It was the most embarrassing thing in her life. Not only was she crying, she was crying in front of Ryuk, a shinigami.

Said shinigami was staring at her back in utter surprise. The girl who only ever looked cold was crying right before him. Maybe it was possible for her to cry, but not in front of other people, or things similar to people. "Now, I wonder what could possibly be bothering you so much that you would do a complete character-change?" Even though this recent development attesting to the girl's humanity was interesting to him, the question came out disinterested… condescending, even.

She didn't want to talk about it with this shinigami who didn't give a damn if she died so long as she entertained him until then. But then again….. maybe that was exactly what she needed: to talk to someone who wouldn't care either way. Her chest was hurting really bad by now, and it was no wonder since she had always worked to keep it all in. She knew she could never forget what happened, and how it had ruined her so, so badly.

FLASHBACK…

A seven-year-old Amora Sai ran through the field of flowers. Her heart was racing, her blood was pumping, and she absolutely loved it. She stopped and turned in a full circle before continuing on.

She turned around and raced back the other way after a while, the huge smile still lighting up her face, and her golden eyes shining enough to put a star to shame. She ran back to her happy family that was setting a table nearby for an outdoor picnic that they had been planning for the last week. It was going to be awesome, sitting there with her mom, dad…. and younger siblings who were twins. The little five-year-old boy was Amora Tetsu, while his twin sister was Amora Gurren. They were born with blood-red hair (inherited from their mother), slightly tanned skin (also from their mother), and their father's golden eyes, much to Sai's delight. They at least looked similar on some level. Gurren wore her long hair in cute, high pig-tails, while her brother's was short, but shaggy. They had on matching plaid outfits.

Sai ran up to them, tackling both to the ground in a bear hug. All three were laughing and giggling at the great time they were having. Even their parents were enjoying their children's happiness. After a while they started gazing at each other lovingly and with pride in their eyes. These children meant the most to them.

"I wanna play tag!" shouted Tetsu. The three immediately said "Not It!" with Sai being the last to chime in, winning her the position of It. The twins split up and started running to different ends of the public picnic fields. She decided to go after the slower twin first: Gurren. Running to catch up to the little red-head girl, she nearly tripped several times, but finally caught up with her after a while. Gurren had screeched at the top of her lungs, lapsing into loud giggles after the first second.

"Come on, soldier," said Sai in a mock-stern voice. "We have an enemy to track down. You will chase him from behind, and I will hook around in front of him. Once we corner him, we will de-flag and wrestle him into submission. Understood?"

Gurren raised her left hand to her forehead in salute. "Yes, sir!"

They ran to put their plan into action, and sure enough, Tetsu was caught between the two in no time, gasping for air as they smothered him into the ground. They were all so close, they might as well been joined at the hip. The twins looked up to their big sister as someone who could and would protect them from the monsters in the dark. The older girl looked at the twins as the most precious things in the world to her. She hugged them closer, and then their mother called them over to eat.

'A FEW MONTHS LATER'

"Sai! Come down here and meet your babysitter!" She groaned. She didn't like being called a baby. Besides, she was seven-years-old, which was practically adult age in dog years, so she should've been babysitting the twins by herself.

She went downstairs and looked up at a blonde teenager with a fashionable shirt and skinny jeans on. Her face was covered in makeup, but she could see the annoyance that crossed her face when the teen looked at her. She was quick to cover it up before her employers saw it, though. Sai already didn't like her.

The twins came down next, each going to either side of their big sister and grabbing a hand. All three had on pajamas, since it was almost bed-time anyways. None of them could stay up past 7:30 anyways.

Their parents left then, off to a congratulatory dinner for my mother's printing company's newest growth. It was going to be going on way into the morning, so they had hired the babysitter to stay overnight.

The moment they left, she immediately turned to the kids she would be babysitting and said, "Listen up, I'm Brittany. I'll be babysitting you tonight, so you better behave yourselves." A look of total disdain lit up her face, and she continued, "I don't want you whining about anything, do you understand? Now, go brush your teeth and get into bed." She dismissed them and pulled out her phone, starting to text all of her friends.

The little ones did as they were told to do, going to their room when they were done. None of them expected their stuck-up babysitter to read them a story, so Sai read until the twins were asleep. She knew her parents should have just let her be in charge, instead of that waste of money lying on the couch downstairs.

She crawled into bed and fell asleep…

'MEANWHILE DOWNSTAIRS'

"Are you f-ing kidding me, Scarla? He's there right now?" Brittany listened intently to the girl on the other end of the line. "Uggh, what a drag that I have to babysit these brats right now instead of be at the biggest block party ever!" She listened for a while.

Shifting the phone to her other ear as she stood up, she walked upstairs, peeking on the kids to see if they were sleeping yet. She whispered into the phone, "Yeah, their totally knocked out, and it's only 8:12." She giggled, "Yeah, yeah, yeah….. I'm totally on my way over there right now. Just wait for me, okay?" With that, she hung up and tip-toed down the stairs and out the front door, but forgot to lock it back up once she got outside.

'A FEW HOURS LATER'

Sai woke to rustling sounds. They were coming from many different directions in the house, and she immediately grew scared, starting to shake. Monsters! was all she could think.

The twins soon woke up after that, and grew scared as well, both running to their older sister's bed in the middle of the room. They hid under the covers together, Sai hugging both of them tightly to her. But she could still feel the shivers that ran up their backs and hers when they heard their door creek open. She squeezed her eyes shut so hard she thought her eyelids would pop under the pressure, also covering Tetsu and Gurren's eyes with her hands. She forced her breath to even out, so the monster would think she was sleeping. It didn't work.

The sheets were ripped off of them, and all three let out an ear-piercing scream before having something stuffed into their mouths and tied shut. Their hands and feet were bound next. The children could all still see, though, and saw figures that resembled men, but had faces like hockey masks. Sai really started to sweat then, she had heard of Friday the 13th, but thought it was just a joke to scare little kids. Luckily, none of the four individuals held a chainsaw. She didn't know what they were after, but wished they would just take it and go away forever.

"What should we do with them?" asked the guy all the way in the back and leaning against the door.

"I don't know, we can't just kill them for no reason, they haven't seen our faces yet." The guy next to him argued. He sounded like he was the leader, uncaring as to what became of the two red-heads and raven-haired child sitting on the ground before him. His authority was proven when every other monster in the room looked at him, and then stepped away from them a bit.

"Then what should we do?" The one up front and close to Sai's left spoke in an impatient voice. Whatever they were looking for earlier hadn't been found.

"Why don't we just knock them out and sell them for ransom to their parents?" The only person who hadn't spoken finally did, and his voice was haggard and steely. Four pairs of eyes behind masks turned back to the bound-up individuals. Sai was starting to feel really cold, and she could tell that Tetsu and Gurren were, too. She carefully moved closer to them to help warm them up.

"Nah, just leave them for now." said Mr. Leader, and the others followed him out into the hallway. There were more rustling sounds, which continued to grow louder as time went on and they apparently didn't find anything they were looking for. They were starting to yell profanities at each other, some of which Sai had never heard before, but some that her parents had uttered at times. The twins were shaking in fear, and she could feel some of their teardrops as they landed on her legs. She wanted to comfort them so badly, but her hands were tied up behind her back, so she would have to wait.

One of the people burst in just then, and screamed, "WHERE THE FUCK IS ALL OF THE MONEY? YOU STUPID BRATS SHOULD KNOW, SO WHERE IS IT?" The three cowered as his voice got louder. The others were starting to file in, and Sai used cross-elimination to guess that the man yelling was the leader. He had apparently lost his cool. "WE NEED THAT FUCKING MONEY, SO YOU BETTER START TALKIN'!" He was right in their faces. His breath rank, but the eyes staring at them from behind the mask were worse. They held blood-lust, but these children didn't understand what that was, so it was all the more terrifying. Then, the most terrifying thins of all happened: the leader calmed down, and started talking calmly…. but his eyes were that of a lunatic, and what came out next only proved that theory. "How about we make a little deal? Hmm? How's about one of you go look for something valuable, and then bring it back here? How does that sound?" Sai went cold on the inside. She was petrified, and, if she wasn't mistaken, near wetting herself. But she just nodded her head. The one closest to the leader and the kids took out a knife and cut all of her restraints. She stood up and stretched her legs, and a gun was pointed at both of her siblings.

"If you try to run, scream, or do anything that would make people come to this house, I will kill these two. Understand?" The leader's voice was even more frightening when she was standing up and her knees were able to shake. She nodded, and started towards the door.

She came back after hours of searching everywhere, finding nothing. There were tears spilling over her eyes as she thought of the things they would want to do to her siblings. But no guns were pointed at any of them, and Sai mentally sighed in relief.

She froze up again when she saw how rigid the ski-mask wearing people were. The leader was practically shaking in anger. He started towards her, and she thought he was going to hurt her. He stopped shaking before he reached her, though, and instead pulled out his gun. Sai's vision blurred. She was too scared now to do anything but shake and let the tears flow faster. She was breathing in very fast as she stared at the blurred gun. But then the man did something very weird: he handed the gun to her, taking out another one and training it on her head. He gave one order, "Shoot them."

She was confused, she didn't know what he was talking about, or who he wanted her to shoot. He grabbed her arm and pulled Sai over until she was facing… a crying Tetsu, and a paralyzed Gurren. "You can't be useful to us, then you can be useful to them. Shoot. Both of them." Her mouth plummeted open. He couldn't possibly mean for her to do that.

"Wh-wh-why?"

"Because it would be a lot better than what we had in mind for them." He nodded at the two closest to the door. They were also both wearing backpacks that were obviously filled. One started rummaging through and pulled out some wicked-looking device that reminded Sai of a grappling hook, but much smaller and sharper. The other pulled a device that looked like it was meant to rip fingernails off. Sai didn't know how many times she had shuddered that night, but she did it again, and fell to the floor and started bawling. She didn't think she could stop, until the scariest guy addressed her again. "You better make a decision. We can shoot you, and fuck your little twin siblings up, or you can shoot them, and we fuck you up." He paused for a while, and spoke again, "There isn't going to be any surviving for any of you." Tetsu and Gurren started crying for mommy and daddy through their gags, but two of the thugs kicked them both and they returned to whimpering. "You can choose which of you suffers the most, them, or you? Hurry up, because I'm not a patient man." He raised his gun to her head again.

She swallowed, and her body went numb all over. She was paralyzed with fear, but not of what would happen to her, it was fear of what would happen to them. She started hyperventilating at some points without realizing it, and was now very light-headed. The gun felt heavy in her hand, and more than anything, she didn't want to make this choice. She wanted her mother or her father to be there to take care of things for her, so she could just go to sleep and not have to worry about anything. But mom and dad weren't there, and they weren't going to be helping out with anything. A choice suddenly made itself clear in her mind, and she shakily raised the gun. She pointed it at Tetsu. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." Her voice was breaking on each of the words, and her eyes were overflowing with tears, she could have missed, if she weren't so close. She pulled the trigger…. BANG! And there was blood all over the floor. Sai was starting to gag, and she already couldn't breathe. Each breath felt like it hurt all of her insides. She raised the gun again, and pulled the trigger, but not before she heard Gurren mumble, "Onii-chan, doushite?"

END OF FLASHBACK...

"The cops came before they could do anything besides slice my torso open. Apparently Brittany had come back and heard what happened and called the police to come. I told the police what had happened when I was finally awake and my body was sewn shut…. My parents never looked at me the same again. They grew to hate me more and more as time went on. And I grew to hate people. Maybe that explains why a shinigami is the only thing I can talk to." Her voice was dry, and she had stopped crying a while ago during her story. Now her eyes were hollow…. but instead of nothing in their depth, there was eternal sadness.

Ryuk stared at the girl. "Then why don't you use the Death Note to pay them back? They should be in jail now, and their names and faces would have been recorded."

She shook her head. "If I want to give my hand to others to pull them up, I don't want to become corrupt like Light. If I were to do something like that, I know I wouldn't stop." She stared Ryuk in the eyes. "I'll kill for others, but I myself shall remain neutral, because neutral people are the ones who tend to hurt less."

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