I second that Emotion

by Omnifarious777

Jasper was turned into a vampire during the civil war. He developed in a bloody world of consumption, power, rage, and thirst. In this new life he brought his own gift to read and manipulate emotions. His creator used him for his abilities but after over a century of feeling all that he did it was time to leave and so he did. Now he's alone, but not for long.(A unique Jasper story)

10. STRONG enough

DISCLAIMER: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight not me. I'm just playing around with the characters we all love. :-)

(PLEASE READ AUTHOR NOTES AND END NOTES)

Authors Notes:

*** Very long chapter

*** Peter and Charlotte.

*** More wolves

*** More Alice and Jasper. *Wink*

EMOTIONS -Jasper is reading

EMOTIONS -Jasper is giving off

**- Marks words that are thought (Targeted to Edward to know alone)

Chapter#10: STRONG enough

JPOV

I fed from 1 more deer and a moose before I was done. I was increasingly glad I didn't let Carlisle observe me in this. I noticed how different the two different animals tasted and I was sure if he'd been there he would have asked me numerous questions about it.

As the initial excitement over my success faded I realized a few unfortunate things. The most important observation being the biggest problem. When I fed from humans, or human since I only needed 1, the thirst died to practically nothing. The little bit of thirst left would only really present itself if I was near humans, otherwise I felt satiated. The thirst was still present after feeding from the animals yet I also felt full so I knew I didn't need more. I supposed the only way to really describe it was unsatisfied, wanting. I couldn't help but wonder if this was due to an adjustment period for me or the more likely reason... the thirst would always be there.

The sensation was akin to what it felt like to be a newborn. Always thirsty, always ready for more. This was far weaker than that thankfully but the similarity was undeniable. I'd felt this constant thirst most of my life, surrounded by the newborns.

I shook those thoughts off before they took me somewhere I was unwilling to go. The next observation was regrettably how much weaker I felt. I supposed a big part of that was the fact that I wasn't fully satiated, causing a subconscious feeling of weakness. That was only a part of it though. Human blood made my kind stronger, that's why newborns were so powerful. They were full of human blood still, their own. Animal blood was a substitute to the real thing. Maybe it was like a human drinking artificial drinks instead of water, or taking vitamins in place of wholesome food.

The last real issue was the fact that my senses were slightly elevated, particularly my sense of smell. Again this was probably aided in the first issue of the constant thirst. My body was determined to search for blood, even when I was full. Since I wasn't full of human blood, my natural food source, would my body constantly want to search? I tried to take comfort in the idea that the heightened senses at least helped offset the physical weakness. I wondered if it was like this for the Cullen's as well. Did they feel the weakness after all their time the way they are? Rosalie and Alice had never even tasted human blood and Carlisle had only ever had enough to change his family. Perhaps they knew no difference as a result. Edward and Emmett had managed to abstain through the newborn faze and only faulted later. Did the fact that their first tastes of blood were animal affect how they handled thirst?

I thought about Esme's story. She fed from humans as a newborn. She was only weeks into this life. One of her earliest meals being human blood. Did that change things for her from the rest? Did she feel this sensation as I did? Was it more potent for me due to my past... my age? I have fed exclusively from humans for more than 130 years. All the Cullen's combined couldn't compete with that even if they lived for thousands of years with the occasional mistake.

After my hunts I'd found myself back on the beach, to the same place I had brought Alice. I was again lost in my thoughts. The sun was rising and my body tensed as the warmth spread throughout. Unlike the myths, vampires didn't burst into flame in the sun but it did elevate a few problems. Since we were essentially cold...venomed creatures, our bodies were alert when warmed so much, causing our strength, speed, and abilities to take more of a toll on us.

The sun also caused a bit of a problem with our appearance. If the sky was clear our skin glowed and shimmered. This made it difficult to keep true to the one and only real rule of our species, 'keep the secret'. There were ways around it of course. Stay out of direct sun, keep away from humans in general, and of course the source of our mythology... 'only come out at night'.

I glanced around to make sure no humans were around, to be safe. A breeze blew and I caught the scent of one of the wolves. I stood immediately and tensed my body unwittingly. Carlisle had informed me that the instinct to fight vampires was inbred in the wolves and judging by my responses apparently the sensation was mutual. I shook my head at the fact that Carlisle had formed a truce with these creatures for as long as he had, however tense it was. Maybe Carlisle has a special ability of his own. He resists human blood, he forms alliances with would be enemies, he tames groups of vampires to respect him despite differing personalities. I supposed his ability could be classified as extreme patience.

I heard a sound coming from the opposite side of the rocks blocking me. I took a whiff and still smelled the wolves but this was also distinctly human. My jaw tensed as my mouth filled with venom. I closed my eyes against the onslaught of sensation. I didn't normally smell human so intensely, as I tried my best to hunt them quickly without thought. I wasn't expecting human to be mixed with the wolf though so I was caught off guard. I closed off my sense of smell and opened my other senses. Whoever was there was too far to sense given that even their emotions were non-existent for me to read.

It was my Que to leave. I took off into the forest quickly and ran to the nearest store I could find. I needed clean clothes and a place to lay low while I stayed here. I kept a credit card on me at all times since it wasn't as destructible as cash. I bought a few things quickly before finding a hotel and booking a room for a week. I had no idea how long I was going to stay here but with Peter and Charlotte coming I needed a place away from the Cullen's. I wouldn't be comfortable staying with them as it was and I knew my friends would be even less okay with it. I chose a place that had a lot of vacancies. In greater part this was to aid in tempting them as little as possible, in case they chose to stay with me, but in truth it was also to fight my own temptation.

I was used to being in control of myself. My body, my emotions, my thoughts, but most importantly my instincts. I knew how every bit of me responded to thirst. I felt different now, I was so in-tuned that human scent was more potent to me than it had been for almost a hundred years, when I'd learned to suppress everything when feeding and just get it done.

I was taking a very long shower while I thought through how to handle all of this. I kept the water cold, in no mood to feel warmth at the moment. At least I wouldn't have to worry about complaints for using all the hot water. After I was done I dressed in the new clothes, conveniently all black to match my current mood. The clock in the room read one. I figured it would be a good idea to check how things were with the Cullen's. I didn't know how long Peter and Charlotte would be but punctuality wasn't their strong suit as they frequently got... distracted with each-other. I shivered slightly at some of the things I'd witnessed from my own coven and pushed passed it. One of the joys of being alone, away from mated pairs, was no witnessing things that a near perfect vampire memory couldn't forget. Sex being a big one as mated pairs were quite expressive with each other.

I made it to the Cullen home faster than I expected, lost in my own thoughts. Looking at the large home suddenly felt slightly daunting. I frowned at the realization. What was wrong with me? As soon as the silent question appeared, I thought of Alice. She wasn't here now and I hadn't been here without her, without her warmth and soothing presence.

NERVOUS, EXCITED, WORRIED, HAPPY. I smirked being able to recognize the tone of the emotions as being Esme. The essential mother of the clan, worried about her family and anxious about new company. As I got closer I realized she was alone. My tension eased significantly as I approached the door. Should I knock? It didn't feel right to just walk in. I decided to be polite and knock. At a human speed, Esme answered the door. They were all so good at keeping the human illusion. She smiled brightly at me and if it was possible I would think it was where Alice got it. I smiled gently back. SURPRISE, HAPPINESS. Was she surprised to see me? She had to have sensed me.

"Hello, Jasper." It shouldn't have shocked me when she hugged me, but it did. I let her but didn't respond much in return. I still wasn't comfortable with physical affection plus my survival instinct wasn't exactly eager to put my scent on another males mate.

"Esme. It's lovely to see you again." I sounded like we hadn't just seen each-other but I didn't know how else to respond. She waved me in and I followed as she closed the door and led me to the kitchen where she was making a large floral arrangement. I almost asked about what she was doing but decided to let it go. I sat across from her at the counter as she worked.

"Are your friends here yet?" She continued to smile happily and spoke to me like we were good friends... like she was actually happy to speak with me. I could tell by her emotions that she was genuine in her feelings. She truly was a beautiful person, happy and kind. I gave her as naturally true of a smile as I could. She was very pleasant to be around.

"No, they are not. They don't tend to be the most predictable in their movements." I looked around seeing three large arrangements already completed on the dinning table. One was all shades of yellow, one was purple, and the other was pink. The one she was currently working on had a lot of blues and greens. "Where is the rest of your co... family?" She smiled with an amused expression after my almost slip.

"Emmett and Rosalie... who knows." She smirked slightly to herself and I gathered I really didn't want to know details. The curse of being in a coven was if you wanted... time with your mate you had to do it at a distance. No pun intended. "Carlisle is at the hospital. He was supposed to be off, but they needed him." PRIDE, LOVE, LUST. I could have done without the last bit but it was charming in a way to see how much he meant to her. I nodded as she continued to arrange. She seemed to sense my curiosity. "I make arrangements for the hospital, nursing home, and some of the shelters in Seattle." I starred at her blankly as I processed this strange but undeniably good family.

A quiet fell between us as she continued to arrange and I watched. For one reason or another it didn't feel awkward to stay silent with her. On my end that was most likely due to the fact that I had a lot on my mind. The peace and quiet time I had at the beach did not give me enough answers and it left me uneasy. In the span of 24 to 48 hours my world had shifted from the dull repetition of safety to the vast unknown. My species didn't do well with change and I'd been through more than most in my lifetime. Adventure wasn't particularly viewed by us as exciting, just dangerous.

I thought again about Esme's story, her past as a newborn. It was strange to think that someone so obviously gentle had one of the rougher pasts of her coven, involving thirst at least. "What is it?" WORRY, HESITANCE. I hadn't realized that I had began to stare at her, thinking about her similarities to me or at the least, her differences from her family.

I didn't know what to say in response to her question. It wouldn't be right to ask her about something that would bring up memories I knew she didn't want to think about. At the same time it felt wrong to lie. I considered myself a fairly honest person, it was one of the few traits I was proud of. Above that though I didn't want to disrespect her. I watched her a moment longer and decided I would be honest but subtle. "I was curious about something, and I was hoping to ask you about it?" I knew my eyes were still red and most likely would be for awhile. I didn't feel like revealing that I had already hunted animals so I would keep my inquiries vague.

SURPRISE, JOY. I looked at her curiously for her sense of joy. What was she happy about? "Of course Jasper. You can ask me anything." I frowned slightly at her degree of trust. Offering something so valuable so willingly was dangerous and I worried her innocence could get her harmed someday. There is nothing more powerful or damaging in this world than information and she was giving me a blank check, however unknowingly, to get that from her.

"I wanted to ask you something, something I believe you might have unique insight on." Her expression furrowed a bit at my response so I continued. "Your family, you each have your own drive, opinions, story both past and present. I wanted to know how thirst differs for each of you." I was expecting her to tense at my last words, despite working my best to warm her up to my questions. Instead she smiled gently at me, willing me to continue. "Carlisle has only had human blood to change your coven..." The word slipped out but I pressed on. "and that was only after a couple hundred years of resisting human blood completely. As a result of this, I can't imagine that human blood/scent/ presence can really affect him nor has it for a long time, perhaps forever." I didn't want to belittle his success with my words but I didn't know how else to word it. "I figure this is similar for Alice and Rosalie as they have never tasted human blood. Even with being so young this has to affect how they perceive humans, even subconsciously." She was listening intently to my words. I realized this was the most I'd spoken to someone in a long time. I was a man of few words, preferring to listen or communicate in my own way.

"Emmett had... set-backs." I hoped that didn't come off as insensitive. "With his age in combination of... surpassing the newborn stage without feeding from a human, does this change thirst for him? From how it is for Alice, Rosalie, Carlisle,... you?" I quickened my speed with this wording not wanting to upset her with her past. CALM, PEACE. Without truly thinking about it I sent out waves to comfort her. I didn't want my curiosity to harm her in any way. My concern surprised me. It wasn't that I was naturally cruel, I was simply naturally cold and distance. She did tense a bit now but kept a gentle smile, forever the patient mother.

"Edward..." I noticed she stiffened and her expression became guarded. I opened up my empathy to read her completely and intensely. PROTECTIVE, LOVE, UNDERSTANDING, HOPE. I would never say it out loud but it seemed clear to me that Edward was Esme's favorite child. At the least she had a bond with him separate from the rest, even her mate. The protective waves I got from her were as powerful as any mother that had birthed her child. She loved him unconditionally and was subconsciously ready to defend him from me, even over something as mild as my singular opinion of him. I wanted to know the reasoning's for the hope I sensed. What was she hoping for? What did she want for him? "...he made a choice to use his abilities, both vampiric and special to try to help humans while still, I suppose embracing is the best way to phrase it, what he is." She relaxed slightly at my wording but was still tense. "He fed from humans longer than the rest of you combined but did it for justice more than thirst, since he had already mastered resisting human blood. Does this affect how he sees humans?"

She seemed to acknowledge that my question was rhetorical. "And that just leaves one... me." She was quiet when she spoke and no longer wore a smile. She seemed abashed like I had scolded her and I felt bad for it. I certainly was in no position to judge her nor would I if I could. "You wonder if since I... fed from humans early, does it make resisting harder for me?" The word fed was practically whispered and she looked down and away from her arrangement. I stood from my chair and hesitantly walked around to her. If she was human she would be crying and I felt the need to comfort her. Not in my usual way but in a more humane, a more... human way. I reached her and she was still looking away from me. I drew comfort in the fact that she wasn't uncomfortable by my presence. I stroked her arm in what I hoped was a comforting manner. I didn't want to push any physical boundaries, hers or mine but this felt okay. She looked up at me and smiled but it didn't reach her eyes.

"The truth is I think the shame I felt after it happened helped. It made me feel human to regret killing two of them. My sadness and shame in a way save me from being something that I'm not." She looked up at me as I processed her words. I could see how such a thing could help, from a certain point of view. This wouldn't help me though. I didn't carry the burden of two lives such as Esme, that could be my drive. I held the burden of thousands with more than just a pulse fading ingrained in my mind. I also carried the weight of emotions, the feelings of terror, pleading, pain, regret, and loss that each victim had. My victims had felt a lot but I killed them anyway. If I used each of my hundreds of victims to fuel myself with shame... I couldn't even process what that would feel like.

I starred at her thinking about how truly monstrous I was for the first time in a long time. Would I ever be worthy of a peaceful existence? Would I ever be worthy of the friendship of this family? The care, that for some reason I already felt, of this woman? The... affection of someone as bright and beautiful as Alice? I gave her a short bow of the head, acknowledging her words while welcoming dropping the subject. I got my answers but I can't say they made me feel much better.

Esme changed the subject to lighter things flawlessly. She spoke of school starting and I again found myself feeling quite spun around with how different this family lived. Despite this feeling I was listening to every word she spoke quite intensely. What was it like to impersonate a human? To live in their world and not just pass them by?

"You know Jasper..." I had retaken my seat and Esme got a playful smile on her face as she spoke. I found myself narrowing my eyes playfully in response. "...you could pass as a junior or even a sophomore if you wanted to give high school a chance?" I raised a brow at her skeptically.

"I don't really think high school would suit me. I may be considered a bad influence on the innocent youth of forks." I rolled my eyes as she laughed.

HAPPINESS, JOY, HOPE, CONTENTMENT. She smirked to herself and I knew she was contemplating something. "My children are enrolled... including Alice so at least you would have some friends." Despite vaguely mentioning all of them I knew she mentioned Alice by name strategically. "It would mean so much to her if you stayed for awhile and went as well." She watched me as she spoke but I was highly skilled at having a poker face. I shrugged but didn't respond verbally. Her smile dropped slightly at my casual dismissal. I felt a little bad thinking that she might believe I have little interest in pleasing Alice but I wasn't comfortable discussing her with anyone, let alone her mother.

Esme needed to deliver the arrangements to the hospital and despite my discomfort I offered to assist. I wasn't looking forward to going to a hospital full of weakened humans and blood but had a masochistic desire to see what it would be like there. She accepted my assistance and we made way to the hospital. I hadn't been in a car in awhile so it was odd being in one now, especially adding in my company. She kept it easy though, making simple conversation on the drive.

When we got to the hospital I closed off my sense of smell, in no mood to tempt myself. Esme didn't press me to talk so I gathered she knew what I was doing. We made our way to the Children's wing where she delivered the purple and yellow arrangements in a small room where the children were playing together. She stayed for awhile speaking with the kids, even hugging on them, being a typical mom. I stayed back not actively engaging anyone and luckily the children were all focused on Esme. After that we went to the maternity ward to drop off the other arrangements. Unfortunately I was forced to speak there and had to breathe. The scent was overwhelming. We were in a room with a few woman apparently in slow progression or just there for checkups. Each one of them smelled so much stronger than most humans. I had read that pregnant woman contain more blood in their bodies then other humans and that this got more pronounced the farther along they were.

We left quickly, thankfully, but Esme wanted to see Carlisle before heading back. I reluctantly went with, at her insistence, and needless to say it was awkward. Carlisle was very uncomfortable with me being alone with his mate and he was quite obvious in his discomfort. As soon as we went into his office he smiled warmly until he saw me. I had walked in behind her at a bit of a distance but it seemed not distant enough. He ran at full speed to her side and held her close. He kept flashing his eyes from her to me as she hugged him back warmly. WORRY, DISTRUST, PROTECTIVE, LOVE. I pretended not to notice his territoriality as he continually rubbed her, held her, and kissed her. They spoke quietly and I gave them whatever privacy I could, distracting myself with his wall of awards and certifications.

I could tell Carlisle wanted a moment alone with her so I excused myself, under the pretense of needing to contact Peter. It was actually true since he and I hadn't arranged where we would meet up. I was still concerned about them coming here without an escort because I didn't know what to expect. I left the hospital and called Peter. He didn't answer which wasn't surprising given the situation. I had told them about the Quileute border but I couldn't shake the feeling that they wouldn't head my warning. Peter was a curious guy and Charlotte was always up for an adventure.

I did a patrol around forks, searching for their scents but got nothing. I would be able to pick up Peter's scent easily if he was nearby. I got the feeling that something bad was going to happen as I approached Quileute lands. One of the perks of being a vampire was the accelerated senses and that included instinct. Typically I followed these without wavering but I wanted to make sure they didn't approach the tribe's lands.

In all honesty I had no doubt that Charlotte and Peter could take on the wolves but I couldn't let that happen. Not only was I concerned for how the Cullen's would take such a thing but a part of me could see things from the packs point of view. My kind fed from humans, simple as that. Good or bad, right or wrong, fair or not, it was the truth. If I was in the wolves position I would be just as protective of my home.

That wasn't to say that I liked the wolves or even particularly respected them because I didn't. I could respect their supposed purpose but everything else was a different story. I could read people, even when I was human I had a knack for it. Gift or none, I could feel what a person was, in their core. I wasn't infallible, Maria was proof of that, but I could still read people. It was interpreting those feelings, trying to predict how far someone will go that was the problem. I knew from the start that Maria was power hungry, manipulative, sadistic and strong. I was simply young and naive and that blinded me to her intentions, among other things.

I caught a strong whiff of the wolves scent but not Peter and Charlotte. I also caught a very faint familiar smell. It was Jaime. I hesitated on what to do. I knew she was related to a wolf but I was concerned for her safety. I decided to follow the smells but was careful about it. The trail led me, not surprisingly, near her home. I could smell all three wolves now.

RAGE, TERROR, LOVE, CONCERN, WORRY, REGRET, PAIN. The feelings hit me so hard I had to stop moving as I processed it all. I closed my eyes as I focused on calming myself. I had stopped on the beach near the forest where I had met Jaime. The feelings weren't lessening, they were intensifying. The amount of rage alone was like the onslaught of blood-lust that newborns radiated, but this was a bit stronger. Rage itself was stronger than blood-lust. The need to feed was simple instinct, rage was a deep seated emotion based on any number of other feelings, all magnified.

TRANQUILITY. It was so difficult to tap into this emotion as I had never felt it myself without it being from someone else. It was an echo of something more real but I focused on it and rather than try to radiate it I just kept it around myself.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING?!" My eyes snapped up and I was met face to face with the pack. Paul was in the front. In my efforts to suppress his second hand rage he had caught me off guard. They were a good distance from me but the words were clear. My eyes flashed to the other two and I saw Sam had his eyes intently trained on his brother while Jared had his trained on me. Paul was shaking so violently I thought his bones would crack.

I tilted my head as I kept my eyes trained on him. He was clearly angry about my time with his sister. Apparently their sense of smell was better than I'd thought if he could still pick up my scent on her or their home hours after I'd left. I opened up all my senses to read him. RAGE was so forefront that I could barely read anything more but under the surface I could tell the rage was fueled by terror and love. He was worried for his sisters safety. More than reasonable. For this reason as well as the sake of his sister I would be patient with him. I chose not to respond as there was no answer I could give that wouldn't piss him off more.

My eyes went to Sam and I noticed Paul's shaking actually got worse when I did. PISSED. Interesting, even doing nothing was making him worse. I frowned and looked back at him, measuring his bodies reaction. This species was so consumed by their own hatred and darkness that it truly stunned me how they could call my species monsters. At least we fed for survival. We weren't consumed by rage like these spirit warriors were.

"What were you doing here yesterday?" Sam sounded controlled but he was straining to maintain it. My eyes darted back to him and I saw small shakes coming from him as well. Jared was somewhere in the middle of the other two. He was less along in the body quakes than Paul but more so than Sam.

"I needed some air so I spent a short time on the beach." I knew they wanted information about Jaime but I would let them ask in their own time, under the illusion that they were getting intel I wasn't aware I was volunteering. Information always put people at ease, even if that information was useless.

Sam nodded slowly, keeping his eyes flashing between myself and Paul. He began to walk forward, towards where I was leaning casually against a tree. I let him get to a more conversational distance. The other two let him take point but stayed close. Many wouldn't allow someone so obviously out of control to get closer but I wasn't worried for my safety. Rage made people stronger but it also made them sloppy. I had defeated him before with him being simply angry, rage would be even easier.

"Why is your scent in Paul's home?" I glanced at Paul and saw his eyes narrow and jaw clench. Interesting, he didn't know about Jaime. How to explain my presence in his home? If I revealed the truth he would undoubtedly attack me. If I didn't he would probably assume something worse than the truth. My immediate solution was to lie but I drew a blank on anything that would help. I starred at Paul for a moment before diverting my gaze back to Sam.

"Restrain him and I will answer." I smiled back at Paul gently. CALM. Even if I had him completely relaxed, which was impossible at the moment, that would nullify once I told the truth. I didn't really see any other option though so I had to try. Even a small amount of calmness could help. I hesitated thinking of the right words to use. I was a man of my word and if anyone attacks me I will retaliate. I was a fairly peaceful person, considering my past but I was still a warrior, and warriors fight.

Sam glanced between me and Paul. It was obvious he agreed that Paul was out of control but he didn't like the idea of restraining him. Maybe because it was MY request or perhaps it was because he didn't like weakening his partner near an enemy. I kept my eyes on the leader, keeping my calm as I waited for him to comply.

"My word is my bond. I will not initiate any attack against your tribe. However that does not mean that I will take an attack lying down. I will defend myself. Consider this your one and only warning not to try my patience. Next attack, you will lose one of your brothers maybe both." I relayed the vow I'd made when I had Paul at my mercy before. I didn't want to harm him again... or worse kill him but I had been honest in every word I spoke.

Sam nodded and gave Jared a look before they both held Paul tightly. I doubted that would help when he shifted into a wolf but I hoped it would. "I was on the beach and I was approached by a human." All three of their eyes bore into me.

"None of our people would approach you willingly. They know the legends." Jared spoke pompously while Paul continued to shake through his tension.

I ignored him and kept my gaze on Sam. "It was late and she was young so I walked her home to ensure her safety." Sam's eyes widened and I gathered he'd figured it out. His eyes went to Paul and he tightened his grasp significantly. Paul was clearly oblivious as he looked at Sam in surprise and confusion. Jared's eyes flashed between the three of us and I saw dawning cross his face. FEAR, CONCERN. My eyes met Paul's where I let them linger. I knew he would figure it out and I wasn't going to drop my guard until then.

RAGE, HATRED, LOATHING, HELPLESSNESS, REGRET. He was feeling more but it was lost underneath the rage. Quick as a flash he exploded into a wolf and charged me. Somehow he seemed to catch the other two off guard as they flew backwards. I dodged his attack but he kept coming. I continuously dodged his attacks but would have to attack soon to defend myself.

STRENGTH, POWER, DOMINATION, HELPLESSNESS, SUBMISSION. As quickly as his attacks started he fell to the ground powerless. I tilted my head at his cowered form before I looked back to the other two. They were both in wolf form and Sam had all his fur bristled and Jared and Paul were on the ground. Sam was in the same place he'd been after being thrown but Jared was in-between him and me. I realized that Jared had meant to attack me as well but Sam was stopping the two of them. I could tell by how he focused on them that he was doing something to keep them down.

I was about to speak when I smelt something very familiar, and they were approaching fast. I turned in time to catch Peter and Charlotte burst through the trees and charge the wolves. SHIT, things just got so very bad. Peter ran forward and grabbed Jared and Charlotte had Paul. They worked so well as a team that I barely had time to process what they were doing.

"STOP!" Peter and Charlotte came to my side immediately. This was always our strategy when we were together. Whenever there was hesitation, doubt, or issue in a fight we always collected together before stopping our actions. They brought the two wolves with them, each having a firm grasp around their necks. Without hesitation I grabbed the wolves from my friends and they released them to me. I then threw the wolves towards Sam firmly but as gentle as I could.

Sam ran to his pack mates and I grimaced when I noticed Peter had caused significant damage to Jared. Not as bad as I had caused Paul before, since Jared was conscious but he had a deep gash in his throat and was wheezing. Sam's eyes blazed to my friends then me.

"These are very old friends of mine. They were only trying to defend me. You agreed to those terms and should be grateful your brothers were spared." Sam nodded but kept his eyes on us.

"Hmmm, seems we missed something sugar?" Peter laughed as he spoke to Charlotte and she shrugged as she smiled at him then me.

"What seems to be the problem here, general?" Peter spoke through suppressed laughter and Charlotte just smirked. I gave Peter a look of annoyance. "Uh-oh." He leaned towards Charlotte, standing on my right side, he was on my left. He held his hand over his mouth like he was trying to whisper a secret to her. Of course I could hear fine but this was how the two were."Dad's mad." She nodded with widened eyes, playing the part of the scared sibling.

I ignored them as I addressed Sam. "This is Peter and Charlotte. Peter... Charlotte, this is Sam the Alpha of the pack and Jared and Paul." I gestured to each wolf. All three were standing now and looked warily at Peter and Charlotte. "They will refrain from hunting humans as long as they are in the area and for the time being will avoid your lands." I added in the last bit to ease the tension between us right now. All three did visibly relax as a result. Without further words I turned and ran, feeling the two following me. They were always good at following my lead, and not arguing in the face of an enemy.

We ran a bit of ways, deep into Cullen's turf, but far from their home. We all stopped running and as soon as I turned Peter gave me a hug followed by Charlotte. They weren't as physical as the Cullen's were with their affections but they did touch occasionally. "We've missed you, brother." I smiled at him as they released me. I had missed them too.

"It's good to see you both as well."

Charlotte sighed while shaking her head. "Always so polite. How's a girl to resist such a gentleman." She laughed as Peter rolled his eyes. Her words brought up an image of Alice and I quickly squashed away the thoughts. A part of me ridiculously wanting to keep her safe and all to myself.

Peter shrugged off her veiled flirtations as he always did. He was the only vampire I'd ever heard of that didn't get jealous of his mate. Granted that was only when she flirted with males. In reverse situations where males came onto her all bets were off. Charlotte was petite, playful, and fun. All these traits plus others aided in other single males noticing. I'd witnessed Peter take on a threat once or twice as a result. Still somehow she was always annoyed that he didn't get jealous... enough. Apparently to her jealousy was a good thing.

"What was that we saved you from back there?" Peter smirked knowing I would object to such a statement. One of my many faults was my sense of pride. I wasn't rude about it but I certainly didn't like the idea of needing anyone. I only liked depending on myself.

"You... walked... in...on..." I said each word slowly to accent the correction in his terminology. "... a misunderstanding between the pack and me."

"Quarrel among friends? That's what you're going with?" Charlotte gave me her standard smirk accompanied with what is often referred to as a 'bitch brow'.

"We are hardly friends. That's even more the case now." I frowned pointedly at both of them as I spoke. "However this land is their home so I made peace with them."

"Peace?" Peter gave me a calculating look. "Are you implying that you have an agreement with them?" SURPRISE, DOUBT, CONFUSION. I nodded slowly. "Why would you give into any demands they have at all? We took them on easily. If you want we can help you take them all out before we go?"

I realized from a certain point of view his words were quite barbaric. Willing to just do away with an inconvenient person rather than compromise. I knew he didn't mean to come off so cruel and I didn't see his words that way myself, but I was recognizing things I normally wouldn't. I saw different viewpoints. He meant to be supportive in his own vampiric way and I understood. We grew up in this life, in a world of take and take some more. He saw me wanting the land, whether he cared for it or not, and wanted to help me take it. How to explain this 'treaty' to him?

"The wolves are much stronger than you think. The two you fought were currently under the submissive influence of the leader." They looked at me confused. "The black wolf, Sam, has some sort of ability to bend the others to his will if the need arises. I can assure you if that hadn't been the case they would have fought back well."

Peter laughed darkly at that. "Thank God Maria didn't have that ability." I fought the urge to shiver at the idea she could do something similar. "He doesn't abuse it, that I can be sure of. I gather it's a necessary ability given the species tendency towards rage." I explained about how the wolves are fueled by their instinct to fight our kind and that they were an angry species to begin with.

"So what did you do to piss the wolves off so much that the leader was forced to restrain them?" Peter was still a bit confused about what they had walked in on. I didn't even fully understand it myself. Don't get me wrong, if I had been Sam I would have done the very same thing to defend my team from their own emotions getting them killed. What surprised me was Sam's cool head. Jared had gone to attack me with almost the same singular focus Paul had, but Sam didn't. I gathered part of being Alpha was more control or perhaps Sam was just very good at it.

"Yesterday I was forced to enter one of the wolves homes while he was away, not that he would have allowed me to if he'd been there. The wolves only tolerated a treaty with me to survive. They like me even less than they like the Cullen's."

"Hmmm. We'll get back to all of that... believe me. But why were you in his home? Judging by the stench of the dogs it's as much our instinct to avoid or fight them as it is theirs to fight us."

"I had ran into his sister and escorted her home." I had no idea how he would take this.

"Sister?" Charlotte was smiling at me through narrowed eyes. "Shall we call you Romeo now? Wolf and vampire?" I shook my head.

"She's a child, I was simply worried for her safety, and as far as I know she isn't a wolf." They both nodded at that. My friends weren't monsters, none of us would harm a child... certainly not purposely. "Anyway he picked up my scent when he got home from the hospital today." I realized immediately I shouldn't have said that.

"Hospital? Why was he there?"

"When I first met the wolves, with the Cullen's present, the wolves attacked me."
"Yet they live?" CONFUSION, CONCERN, HESITANCE. He knew I was quite passive by most vampire standards but he also knew I was an efficient fighter that killed quickly and without hesitation when attacked. This was an important mentality to adopt as I spent most of my life around dozens of newborns at any given time. Mercy towards one that attacked me would have left me looking weak, among far greater numbers than I could survive fighting. Such a thing would have gotten me killed very quickly. They had respected me for my skill, leadership, but above all my strength and power.

"Yes." My word was simple as I watched him. I was curious as to his interpretation of what that meant.

"Did they overpower you?" DOUBT. I chuckled at that and he relaxed, clearly afraid he would offend me. Part of me sometimes thought that Peter still saw me as his master in some way, as I had been when he was a newborn. I had controlled every aspect of his life while I trained him and vampires tended to get stuck with things the way they were, including how we saw others.

"No, I took all three down using Paul as leverage when I injured him pretty extremely."

"Leverage?" They both spoke at the same time.

"Yes, let's say the agreement they have with the Cullen's is very one-sided, in the wolves favor. I wished for no such bargain."

"You...compromised then?" DOUBT, CONFUSION.

I narrowed my eyes. "No, I gave them only what I was planning to give as a courtesy to begin with. My leverage of Paul simply forced them to agree to my terms, without argument." That wasn't strictly true. Of course due to my proximity with the Cullen's I wasn't going to hunt humans on their land, even if they hadn't asked me for such a courtesy. However agreeing to give it up entirely wasn't my original plan. That agreement was an impulsive decision I made in order to please, but it certainly wasn't for the sake of the wolves.

"What do you mean without argument?" Now Charlotte was confused. I was just glad they didn't pick up on the pitch of my words when I said I was giving something. I was certainly giving something up, the biggest thing a vampire could, and I didn't know how they would respond when they found out. "You had already won the fight, to the victor goes the spoils... as it were."

"Out of respect for the Cullen's and their lifestyle I elected to make peace, however tenuous, with the wolves. Besides a small part of me can see their point of view. They defend their people... humans... from beings that feed from them. You can't deny that if you both were in their place you would behave similarly." They gave my words some thought before shrugging. Typical, they didn't concern themselves much with the what-ifs. That was always my job in our group. I was the strategist and voice of reason. Charlotte was the fun-loving rebel that kept things easy, essentially our comic relief. Peter was the doer, whatever needed to be done, he did.

"Well I for one can't wait to meet these Cullen's. If they have earned your respect already then they must be truly incredible." Charlotte stood on her toes to kiss my cheek and then gave me a silly face with a wink. I rolled my eyes but smiled at her humorous ways.

"Words right out of my mouth sweetheart." She leaned casually against him, her back to his chest while he wrapped his arms around her shoulders affectionately. LUST. Typically this one emotion could bring out the worst in my own emotions but for some reason or another I felt fine. My smile didn't even falter as they stood in front of me.

"So... tell us about your new friends?" Charlotte smiled brightly and I began to explain about the coven of six. They were surprised about the size. Vampires rarely stayed in groups that large. It came amazingly easy to talk about the family. I spoke of Carlisle the most, since he was the leader and the one that had started the families unique lifestyle. I touched very briefly on Esme, not revealing much as I was feeling very protective of her. I explained that Edward was second in command of the family and was telepathic. I told them all about Emmett and how I thought they would get along best with him as he seemed to be the fun one of the group. I then explained that Rosalie was best left ignored and Charlotte laughed hard when I gave a brief explanation of our little tiff. I saw a calculating look in Charlotte's eyes and felt MISCHIEF radiate off her in waves. I figured she was up to something but if it involved Rosalie I wouldn't object. Frankly I'd help if I could. Perhaps I'd warn Edward to keep an eye on Charlotte to make sure her plans wouldn't go to far.

"And the last member? You said there were 6." I had hoped they wouldn't really notice but of course they had. I was a master at keeping a poker face and I used that skill now. As protective as I felt towards Esme I felt that infinitely more for Alice.

"Alice is the youngest member of the coven. She is only 5 years into this life."

"Wow, a baby vamp. They are so much fun. Not the uncontrollable savages we all are as newborns but not the emotional messes the ancient ones are. I think I will have fun with her." AMUSEMENT. I turned around, under the pretense of taking in my surroundings, but in truth I was hiding my facial expression. I was sure I looked pissed by Charlotte's words. I knew she meant the words literally. She would want to 'hang out' with Alice, even befriend her. She was a fun loving type and loved to be around others that were the same way. Honestly I could see the two of them getting along, but I still couldn't shake the instinct to keep Alice to myself.

"Careful, sweetheart. Your flirtatious ways could cause a problem. Personally I would love to watch you flirt with the young female vamp, but her mate may feel otherwise."

ANGER, WORRY, CONFUSION, DOUBT. I spun around in shock at Peter's words. Peter's eyes widened at whatever expression I wore. "What are you talking about?!" Peter frowned while watching me carefully. He shifted Charlotte behind himself, seemingly without much thought to do so. I realized I was radiating the anger far more than I should at his words. His instinct was kicking in to protect his mate above all else, even conscious thought. I couldn't even get past the cloud building in my mind due to the anger his words caused. I didn't like the implication that he had read something like that from me. I didn't want him to know of my affections for Alice or what those affections could mean.

"You said the coven was a group of 6. 3 males and 3 females. Alice is mated to Edward, right?"

"No. Neither is mated." I left it at that. I changed the subject quickly to the fact that the family was only 4 at the moment as Alice and Edward were away hunting. I also mentioned that Esme was currently home alone so we should wait till at least the other three got back before going. I disguised my intentions as only wanting to do the introductions once, while truthfully I just didn't want to make Esme feel scared, being outnumbered.

"I want to meet this Esme. This could be our only chance to talk to her alone. Let's go now." Charlotte, forever the impulsive one, practically begged.

"I don't think that would be a good idea. The coven may not appreciate their matriarch being... corned by unfamiliar vampires." I decided on honesty since they would understand that.

"Does Esme trust you?" Everything was so simple to Charlotte. I both missed that about her and hated it. I suppose Esme did trust me as she was okay with being alone with me earlier, but that didn't mean she would feel the same with my friends.

"How about you go tell Esme we're here and if she's comfortable with having us, we'll meet her now, if not you can come get us and the three of us can sight-see until the rest of her coven gets home?" Peter's words sounded reasonable. I agreed and we took off for the Cullen's home.

As soon as it was in sight they halted as I continued and approached the door. I raised my hand to knock, but the door opened before I did, revealing Alice. I looked at her in confusion, but before I could really compute that she was here, she was hugging me tightly before pulling away to speak. "I saw you coming." She was clearly interpreting my confusion as wondering why she knew to open the door.

My arms were around her shoulders before I realized what I was doing. I looked behind her into the house and noticed everyone else was gone. I figured Esme was still at the hospital and I had no idea where the other three were. I looked at Alice's face. I was nearly knocked down by her eyes. They were a vivid bright gold now, warm and beautiful just like her. Her beautiful smile was present and I smiled in response realizing how much I'd missed such a small thing. I lifted her up to me, her feet off the ground so that I could hug her properly. I don't think I'd ever initiated a hug before. I had picked her up in the forest when we were to meet the wolves but she had hugged me first. This time I hugged her. I brought her head to my shoulder and held her tightly. She wrapped her arms around my neck this time, her small hands going to my hair where she tugged gently. She was always so gentle. Yet another thing I realized I loved about her.

"I missed you, darlin." The words came out so quiet and I didn't know why. ELATION, AFFECTION, EAGERNESS. She buried her face into my neck and gave me a very small kiss. LUST. As soon as her lips touched me, I was lit up. The lust was powerful, but I couldn't blame it on her. This was all mine. I wanted her, and I wanted her badly.

"I missed you more." Her words were even softer than mine. Her breath tickled my neck when she spoke and I pulled her head back as gently as I could before I kissed her. A war raged in me as soon as our lips touched. My body wanted to kiss her rougher, in a claiming way. The rest of me however; mind, heart, soul all wanted to cherish her. I went with the rest of me. I kissed her gently and she reciprocated just as gently. Her fingers played with my hair while one of my hands held her head and the other held her up at her lower back. Her legs dangled and I smirked internally at how cute my little pixy was. Most in her position would have wrapped their legs around my waist, and it goes without saying that something like that is very sexual. This wasn't sexual to her. She missed me and cared for me, simple as that. My affections grew for her knowing there was more to this for her than something physical.

We retreated into the house and I sat on the couch with her perched on my lap. She admitted that she lied to me about her return time because she wanted to surprise me. I laughed at her slightly ashamed expression that would fool no one, least of all an empath. Her feelings were full of MERRYMENT not regret. We spoke for a few moments before my senses caught up with me. If I didn't go meet up with Peter and Charlotte they would come here. Part of me was uneasy at Alice not having her family here with her to meet them, but at the same time she had me to protect her. I was bombarded with guilt, thinking of my old coven this way but I couldn't help it. My whole body screamed that Alice's safety came first.

I told her that they were here and that if she wasn't comfortable meeting them alone I could take them away until her family returned. She grasped me slightly tighter and shook her head while smiling just as bright as always. "I want to meet them. If you trust them, so do I." I starred into her eyes and stroked her face while watching her eyes. It occurred to me that her scent would be all over me now and mine would be on her. I took pride in my scent being on her, despite not wanting to admit that, but I also knew it would cause questions. The Cullen's would probably expect such a thing but Peter and Charlotte would be caught off guard. Truthfully I wasn't ready to discuss this with anyone, especially them as they knew me well. They knew I didn't touch easily and they knew I was certainly not the affectionate type. I wouldn't be able to disguise it as a casual hug or something else equally innocent.

"When will they be here?" EXCITEMENT, HAPPINESS. She was jumping in my lap while watching me and I chuckled.

"I'm not sure darlin, whenever they get bored." She nodded and made that cute face she had done before where she pursed her lips slightly to one side while furrowing her brow in concentration. Again I acted without thought. I cradled her face and brought her to me as I kissed her again. I couldn't seem to stop myself. I had looked forward slightly to time apart so I could think about what this was between us, but now I didn't think I could be away from her at all. She giggled and pushed me away playfully, averting her face in mock disinterest. This action exposed her neck to me and I playfully bit her, of course not leaving a mark. She looked at me wide eyed while her mouth dropped in shock.

"Never expose your neck to a vampire, sunshine." I winked and she laughed. She hopped off my lap and said she wanted to take a shower to 'look presentable' for my friends. I wanted to roll my eyes at that. They were drifters that wore jeans and t-shirts, both of which had holes due to running around. I didn't stop her as she went upstairs though. She wanted to make a good impression to some of the first vampires she would ever meet and truthfully this solved the problem of my scent on her.

As soon as she was gone I found the sink in the kitchen and regrettably washed as much of Alice's scent off me that I could. I felt bad doing it, but I had enough to deal with, involving my old coven, the new strain against the wolves, the Cullen's, the new diet, my revelation to them about my new diet, how to sort through my feelings myself, dealing with the families protectiveness of Alice against me. The least I could do was put off Peter and Charlotte knowing about this as well.

After I was done I waited patiently in the living room until eventually the door bell rang followed by over-eager knocking. I opened the door to Charlotte about to pound some more. She gave me a mock military salute. "Permission to enter, sir?" I placated her, saluting back properly and stepping aside to allow them entrance. We sat down and I was about to explain that only Alice was here but I heard a door close upstairs. All three of our eyes went to the staircase and Alice came into view. She wore a knee length skirt in a pale yellow color that faded into a pale pink color. Her top was the same pale pink and was sleeveless. The neckline draped low on her chest exposing her neck and a bright pink charm necklace. Her shoes where very tall wedges in yellow to match her skirt. Her face was bright as she looked at all of us. I was glad their eyes were on her and not me as I wouldn't be able to hide my expression right now. She was beautiful, sexy, cute, perfect. I felt my eyes widened as I took her in and I couldn't stop starring at her. She reached the bottom of the stairs and waved eagerly. EXCITED, HAPPY, NERVOUS. We all rose from our seats as she approached. "Hi." She sounded timid and I realized she was standing alone as the three of us were standing together across from her. She wasn't used to other vampires, let alone human blood drinkers, I knew she was nervous, because who wouldn't be? I walked quickly to her side and placed my hand politely on her lower back. "Peter, Charlotte, this is Alice. Alice, this is Peter and Charlotte, dear friends of mine. I gave no title of what Alice was to me like I did for them, because there were no words for it.

"Well aren't you a pretty little thing." Charlotte reached her hand forward and Alice reached to take it. I stepped forward slightly as she did, keeping myself close to her. I still hadn't dropped physical contact. I smiled at Charlotte kindly when her eyes met mine. Peter held his hand out next and I tensed slightly at his appraising look.

"Well, well. What big gold eyes you have." We all chuckled at his goldilocks reference. "They are beautiful though." He winked at her and without meaning to I let lose a very low but very obvious growl. Peter's eyes flashed to me then to Alice then back to me.

Well SHIT

END NOTES:

*** Uh-oh, there goes Jasper's attempt to hide things. Or will he be able to get out of this?

*** Jasper's getting more openly affectionate with Alice as well as more territorial... hence the growl. Lol

Chapter (SONG) Title: "STRONG enough" by Sheryl Crow- Such a great song. Technically its about a woman with heavy baggage that needs a man strong enough to get past it. However if you look at it from my point of view its perfect. Alice's 'baggage' is her innocence, her vegetarianism. Is Jasper strong enough to turn away from everything else for her 'baggage', to take it as his own? Is he strong enough to change for her? All the lyrics work from a different point of view. If you've never heard it. Give it a listen, it's beautiful.

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