~Phantom~
Love Never Dies
"Beneath A Moonless Sky"
Christine:"Impasse" (Part Two)
To say that Phantasma was a world of amazement did little justice to the astounding park
I was quite literally awed with wonder.
The rides, attractions, games, people, atmosphere, it was unparalleled to anything I had ever imagined.
With a wide smile I admitted, "This is amazing, Erik. No, it is astonishing." We hovered over the magnificent park in a car made of glass that traveled along a thick metal wire from one end of the park to the other – Erik called it a Skyline. It was calming and interesting to sit safely in the clear orb and observe those below. I had never seen so many different people; different in size, shape, color and class. The park was a melting pot, and as I took it all in, Erik held my hand in his.
"Thank you." He smiled, seeming humble for the first time. "It is but a tenth of what I have planned for Phantasma. Do you truly like it?" Concern creased his brow.
"Erik, I love it! It is a place of wonder and dreams, in a world of reality and disappointment. It is extraordinary." I meant every word. The attraction he had shown me was unlike anything I could have ever dreamt of. We had been out all morning and most of the afternoon enjoying the park, and yet I could have easily remained there for the rest of the day.
"Some say so, but what I see in my mind makes this look childish." Erik confided. "Everything you see below is there because of you, Christine and your love; it helped create it all. I want you to know that."
I flushed, eased my hand from his, and moved as far from him as the tight space allowed. Being near him when he spoke like that was highly dangerous.
"All of this is incredible, and I am so proud of what you have accomplished, but. . . ."
I had no idea what to say. I knew what I should do, what I wanted to do, but my heart still went out to Raoul. If I left, he would have no one, and I would have no hope of ever beginning a new life free of guilt.
"But what, Christine?" He countered in anger. "How can you deny that this is where you belong?"
"I–"
"No!" He shouted, shaking his head. "Do not lie to yourself – to me!"
"Erik, I cannot do this, my heart cannot bear it!" I sobbed;, wretched tears filling my eyes. "I love you so much, but if I leave him . . . it will kill him. Yet, if I do not stay, it will be your death as well. And in turn, if either of you were to perish, it would take me as well."
He pulled me to him. Wiping my tears with an embroidered handkerchief, he lifted my chin and looked into my eyes. "I am afraid that you are at an impasse, my love – one which you must remedy by tomorrow. That is all the time you have. I will not be without you any longer, Christine. Now that I have you back, and I know how it feels to hold you again, I cannot let you go. I do not want to force you to do anything, but that is all the time you have. If you sing, that means you will stay. If you do not, then you will leave." He took my face in his hands; his lips so close, I could taste his sweet breath.
I wanted to sing. I did not want to leave.
But Raoul. . . .
And Gustave.
I had to think of what was best for Gustave. But what was best for him? What was truly good for my son . . . Erik's son?
Raoul loved the child, of that I had no doubt, but he also seemed to resent him. Then again, he resented me, as well – the entire world, in fact. Why should Gustave be any different? But I knew, somewhere deep within me, for Gustave, it would be better if Raoul and I were apart. In every scenario, Raoul must lose, in order for us to win, and yet I could not accept that reality. I simply could not. Why could we not all win?
"He is not worthy of you, Christine. He is not what you need, and you know that."
He was right.
I needed him, all of him, and without another thought, I took his lips in mineand once again, I was home.
I was trapped. No matter what I would do, someone was going to get hurt.
"Do you understand, Christine? I am not trying to be difficult, but you must make your choice by tomorrow. This circle of madness has to end."
"I do not know what you want from me, Erik. I love you, you know that, but I do not want to hurt him. How am I supposed to make such a decision?" My eyes burned, as dreadful tears clouded my vision.
"Stay. Sing for me. Do not run away with my heart again; it has been too long since it has been mine."
"Oh, Erik," I sighed as I pulled him close and rested my head upon his sturdy shoulder; gently he stroked my hair. "We are all in such a mess, aren't we?" I laughed bitterly.
"Sometimes fate is cruel, love. Yet I cannot fault her for causing pain; not when she has given us this. Not everyone is fortunate enough to be granted a second chance."
God, he's right.
This was our last opportunity. If I left him now, it would seal our fate, and the thought of never seeing him again tore at me. But the thought of never seeing Raoul, tore at me as well.
I pulled back from him, wiped the remaining tears from my eyes, as the car we sat in came to a stop. "I have things I must think about."
"Yes, my love, you do."
"I should be heading back. I am sure Gustave and Kerie have finished their tour by now."
Smiling, he said, "I would not be so sure. You have seen but a fraction of the wonders in Hotel Phantasma. They could be gone for hours." Then he smirked. "We've forgotten lunch. Would you like some?"
"Lunch?"
He laughed. "Yes."
"With you?" The idea of someone like him requiring such a mundane, ordinary thing as lunch, threw me; he was human after all.
"Yes. I know it is rather late, but there is a place that you must try before you go. I would very much like to take you. I'm quite sure Kerie took the boy to Illusion, our restaurant in the hotel, already."
Lunch with Erik.
"All right."
He smiled, blatantly pleased. "Follow me."
He offered me his hand, and we stepped from the car onto a wooden landing with a winding staircase leading down, back into the throngs of people populating the park below.
As we moved towards the stairs, Erik smirked. "Do you wish to take the stairs or the Phantasma way?" His eyes glinted with amusement.
"You decide."
He moved to the side of the stairs, and right there, hidden, camouflaged in plain sight, was an elevator. It appeared to be a wooden wall; the natural grain and knots of the wood seemed to have no joints, no place where they had been cut to allow for a door, and yet, I watched as Erik walked to a dark brown knot, pressed in on it, and a door opened, revealing the interior of a normal looking elevator.
"Shall we?" He asked, sweeping his hand in the direction of the wooden contraption.
I stepped inside and watched as the door closed. Within moments we were below, being released into the massive crowds. We exited the park grounds through a massive wrought iron gate where the word Phantasma hung above. The streets outside the park were nearly as full as the park its self. The amount of people swarming past did not seem to bother Erik at all.
"It no longer troubles you to be around people?" I could not help but ask. He was, after all, comfortable lurking in the bowels of the opera – the exact opposite of social.
He smiled. "I have had ten years to grow accustomed to being in public. And before, when I was at the opera, there were still times I occasionally went out into the world. But here, I walk among them as though I were one of them, it's amazing!"
"You are one of them, Erik." He turned and smiled. "However, didn't Kerie tell Raoul that Mr. Whye does not see anyone?"
"Ah, but Kerie was instructed to tell your dear husband, exactly that. I had no doubt that once he had glimpsed the park, the people, the hotel, he would have words that he would wish to exchange with Mr. Whye." Again he laughed.
"Why did you pick that name?" I was curious. I had wondered for years what his true surname was, and something told me that Whye was not it.
The late afternoon sun was shimmering as the crisp, pungent, salt-filled air took up all the space in my lungs. Erik and I walked down the streets of Coney like everyone else. I reveled in the feel of normalcy.
"I chose Whye, because one: using my real surname was out of the question. And two: I did not know who I was or why it was that I had been given life. Until you." He was silent a moment as we walked. "My entire life I have wondered what possible purpose I could have, what role I was destined to play, and now I know, and no longer do I question why. I was born to love you."
I had to swallow back the lump that lodged in my throat. I could never have anticipated anyone telling me that I was the reason for their existence. The power of that left me speechless.
Stopping short before a white building, Erik saved me from answering by announcing, "Here we are – the finest cuisine in all of Coney."
"Nathan's?" Apparently they served something called a hotdog.
"Do not be to be too hasty in judgment before you sample it." He grinned, taking my hand and leading me into the small establishment.
"I've never eaten a hotdog before. What is it?" I took in the people around me gobbling what looked to be a tube of meat on a bun.
Laughing, he led us past the long line of people waiting to buy hotdogs. "It is better if you try it first. I'll order for us, all right?"
"Yes, please. I have no idea what to select." I laughed awkwardly. For some reason the idea of sitting down to eat with him, made menervous.
As we approached the counter, the person who had just been given his order, left and as the next man in line moved forward, Erik made for the counter. The man stepped back, allowing Erik and I to go ahead of him.
"Erik!" The portly man who was cooking and serving greeted with a smile.
"Nathan," Erik smiled back, shaking the man's hand. "How have you been? How is your wife?"
"She is doing marvelously, Erik – thanks to you and the physician you sent to aid us. Truly, I have no words or goods, great enough to thank you with." The sturdy looking man had tears of gratitude in his eyes.
"No, do not thank me, Nathan. She needed the care, I simply provided that. I am pleased that she is doing well; that is thanks enough."
Erik had clearly paid his physician to care for the man's wife and knowing that information, filled my heart with love. He had changed.
Or had he?
Perhaps he had always been so, but had never been given the chance to show it. I suddenly knew there was a vast amount that I did not know about him.
"All the same, Erik," said Nathan with a thick Polish accent, "thank you for all that you have done." He smiled again, and then gestured towards me. "All the times I have seen you and this is the first time that I have ever seen a woman on your arm. And may I say what a beauty she is."
"Christine, this is Nathan." Erik introduced. "And yes, she is quite exquisite, thank you."
"Hello. It's nice to meet you."
He smiled back. "It is my pleasure, miss. Any friend of Erik's is a friend of mine. Now you just tell me, what can I get for you?"
I turned to Erik. "I believe you were going to order?"
He grinned. "She has never sampled one before and so we would like two hotdogs with," he paused and looked at me as though gauging something, then went on, "two hotdogs with mustard and sauerkraut, Nathan."
"Very good. I'll have it ready for you in a moment." He smiled, and began assembling our lunch.
I looked around the tiny establishment and noticed all the stools had been taken. "Where shall we sit?"
"We won't."
"What do you mean? How are we supposed to eat?" Surely he was joking.
"We'll walk along the boardwalk as we enjoy our lunch. One of the reasons I love Nathan's hotdogs is the ease in which you can eat them. Most who order do not eat here. This is a beach community, my love and quite different than Paris. People want to bask in the sun, swim in the ocean, see the sights, and so most like to dine as they walk. This city – this country, as a matter of face, is constantly on the move. Here, time is money."
"Oh." There certainly was a difference between Paris and Coney, and I was beginning fall in love with the small island filled with wonder and freedom.
"Here we are," Nathan said as he handed the hotdogs – strange name, I thought – to Erik.
"Thank you, Nathan." Erik went to pay him, but Nathan refused his money.
"Please, your money is no good in here, Erik. Now go!" He waved us off. "Enjoy, miss! It was a pleasure, and I do hope you like Coney, it would be nice to see you with Erik again!"
"Thank you, Nathan. It was nice to meet you, as well, and so far I am highly enjoying your charming little island." I smiled, then turned to Erik and grinned. I could picture myself living there, I really could.
"Good afternoon, Nathan." And with Erik's parting words we were off.
We walked from the building, down the street and made our way onto a boardwalk that overlooked the beach, the island, the ocean. It was beautiful and packed with people who seemed to be doing the same thing as Erik and I;,enjoying the day. Erik handed me a hotdog. Then smiling, amused by my puzzled look, demonstrated how it should be eaten.
"Take hold of the bun in your hand, place it all in your mouth, and take a small bite." He did just that and I laughed, seeing the man I had once thought of as otherworldly, eating a hotdog as we walked in the sun. I watched as sauerkraut fell from his lips.
I laughed again.
"Yes," he began to say as he took the napkin wrapped around the hotdog off, and wiped his mouth with it. "They can be a little tricky to eat depending on the topping, but I think you will enjoy the sauerkraut. Now it's your turn. Try it."
I picked it up, inspected it a little, wondering if there was any better possible way in which to go about eating it, decided that there was not, and took a bite.
It was delicious!
"Good, no?" He smiled; the answer already plain upon my face.
"It's delightful, Erik." I spoke quickly as I went for another taste. We walked and ate in comfortable silence; it felt as though we had done so a hundred times before.
After we finished eating, we deposited our soiled napkins in a garbage can upon the boardwalk, and as we moved on further, Erik took my hand in his.
"Did you enjoy yourself today, Christine?"
"Yes, very much."
"Do you perhaps see things a little differently now?" His expression looked as though the future of his soul depended upon my answer.
"I do see you in a different light here, Erik, among these people. I want you to know that I believe everything you have done here is incredible."
"And are you truly enjoying Coney?"
"Oh, yes. I love what little I have seen so far, but. . . ."
"But what?"
"I can see the ocean but I've yet to walk upon its shore and feel its current under my feet."
"Let us remedy that now." He led us to an empty bench, sat down and began removing his shoes and socks.
"Erik, what are you doing!"
"We cannot walk on the beach in our shoes, can we? Especially if you want to feel the current as the tide comes in. Now take your shoes off." He finished removing his socks, until he stood barefoot upon the boardwalk.
I removed my heels and pulled down my stockings. I could not help but notice the pulse in Erik's neck visibly quicken as he watched me.
"All right, done." I said, standing beside him.
"Good, shall we?" He took my hand. I had lost count how many that made for the day, but the feel of my hand in hiswould never get old.
Hand in hand,we walked in the sand in that same comfortable silence that we had eaten in. That constant electrical current pleasantly pulsed in calm, peaceful waves. It had been so long since I had seen the ocean. The last time was when I was seven, my father was still alive and my entire world was right. And now there I was, back at the shore, and back too, was that long forgotten feeling of belonging, of right. I looked around the tan beach, the sapphire ocean before me and the cloudless aqua skies above; it all beckoned me. I told myself that I only felt that way because I was tired, and because life was stressful. Everything was demanding in Paris, but in Coney, with Erik, I felt free. In such an almost magical place, I was seduced by its beauty and the thought that perhaps things could be different – better. I knew I shouldn't be swayed by its attractiveness, the possibilities, but the intention was not a solid one; it evaporated the instant his fingers grazed my face.
We had stopped. "You look sad, my angel, should we not have come?"
"No Erik, I'm glad that we came, but I am also melancholy because I know I must leave."
He took my face in his hands, his brow furrowing as his amber eyes bore into mine. "No, you do not. Today has been to show you, to make you see, you have another choice. We could be happy here, you, the child and I. Please, my love – my only love – let me make you happy."
The wind blew warm and strong as we came upon a secluded section of beach. The urge to say yes, that I wanted to be happy, was stronger than ever before. I was tired of being filled with sorrow. But still . . . I thought of Raoul, of who he once was . . . and I could not let go of the hope that I could help restore him to that person. I needed to make up for the wrongs I had committed in our marriage, and leaving him when he was so desperate, would only add to them.
I sighed, pulled from his hands and walked through the cool surf.
"Why, Christine? Why are you denying it? Why would anyone in their right mind stay with someone like him? Tell me, explain it;I simply cannot understand!"
"I have explained it to you! He was not always this way – you know that!"
"I know nothing about de Chagny, Christine. All I do know about the man is that he did everything within his power to take you from me. That is all I know." He was being stubborn.
"He was not like this at first, Erik. It took a very long time for him to turn so bitter; I was the main cause." He looked at me as though I were mad and was about to speak when I cut him off. "No, Erik, allow me to finish. Just because I am some perfect creature in your eyes, does not mean that I am. I am only human, and very weak. I was never there for him, not as he needed, and I feel it is my responsibility to help him. I swore an oath to God 'in sickness and in health'. He is sick, and I must not abandon him, it would damn my eternal soul."
"I assure you, it would not."
"I must help him."
Running his hands through his black hair, he sighed in frustration. "Help him do what, Christine? I am sorry that you feel responsible for his deterioration, but there is no justifiable reason why you and the child must go down with de Chagny!" He stopped,the deep crease in his brow relaxing as he softly added, "I am sorry the boy will lose his father, I am – but Christine – you have no conception of what having a child in my life would mean to me. I am no longer young, and while I have always known better than to believe I would ever be a father, the thought of being able to show your child the rights of the world, and not the wrongs, for I have made all the mistakes one can make, intrigues me; he will learn from me. I swear that I shall do everything in my power for him – for you."
I cried.
Never could I express the grief in his voice as he spoke of never being a father. It was the perfect opportunity to tell him. What was I waiting for? It was not fair to keep such a thing from him. I never would have done so, but he left and I never thought I would see him again. Raoul thought Gustave was his son, if he found out now, after all these years that he was not, it would kill him. But to not tell Erik . . . He was right before me; all I had to do was open my mouth and say that his wildest dream was in fact a reality. I owed it to him.
"There is something I want to tell you about, Gustave–" I could not finish. I was distracted by a young boy chasing a girl; they ran past us and my mind went with them. I thought of another boy and girl who had run upon the beach long ago, and I wondered if I would ever get him back, the boy Raoul was, who I had fallen in love with.
"What did you want to tell me about the child, Christine?"
"That – when you show him around you must always keep your eyes on him; he has a terrible habit of wandering off." I was wretched coward. I just could not tell him. I could not. "Erik, if anything should ever happen to him, I would die."
"You do not have enough faith in me, Christine. I would never allow harm come to your child."
Your child, too, I thought fretfully.
He smiled, taking my hand, and again I was aware of that current that flowed between us. "Come, let us return. I would not want your son to worry."
It was my last chance to speak the truth about Gustave before we left the cover of privacy, but I could not.
We were both silent, lost in thought,as we made our way back to the hotel. Walking through the front doors, Kerie appeared with Gustave in tow.
"Mr. Whye, Mrs. De Chagny! I hope you had a wonderful day."
"Oh, Mother!" Gustave exclaimed as he hugged me. "It was so amazing! This place is like a dream come true!"
I noticed the smile that instantly curved Erik's lips as he took in Gustave's elated attitude towards his creation.
"Thank you for everything, Kerie. You may take the rest of the night and do with it as you wish."
"It's always my pleasure to help, Mr. Whye. Goodnight." He smiled at each of us, turned and disappeared into the lobby.
"Mr. Whye, sir – thank you for building such an amazing place! If the hotel is so unbelievable, I can't wait to see what the park must be like!"
Erik laughed. "You are quite welcome. However, it is more appropriate that I should thank you for allowing me to borrow your mother for a few hours. And so in thanks, a little later, I will send for you and together we shall see the park, and all that is wild and dark – as you had requested."
As Gustave's tell-tale ring brightened, I blanched. I had assumed Kerie had already taken him through the park, and thus there would be no need for Erik to do it himself; apparently that was not the case.
Gustave thanked Erik once more, then turning to me said, "Mother, I saw Father pass by before, and I'm sure he's upstairs wondering where we've been all day." I felt like such an awful mother; my little cohort in crime was giving me a warning.
"Thank you, darling. Yes, I suppose we should be going now." I threw Erik a look that said I would finish with him later.
"Of course the two of you should go. And Christine, I believe you have some things to think about, do you not?"
"I do."
"Very well. Gustave," I loved hearing the way Gustave's name sounding coming from his lips. "I shall see you later." He smiled and left.
My ears were ringing by the time Gustave and I reached the suite. There hadn't been one moment when he was not describing, in full detail, all he had seen within the hotel.
"Darling, allow me to interrupt you for a moment, if I may?"
"What is it, Mother?" He fell silent instantly.
"I hate asking you to keep things from your father, but I must ask you not to tell him that I was with Mr. Whye today." I was going to go to Hell for being a disgrace as a mother.
"I figured that already, Mother. That's why when Kerie and I saw him in the lobby earlier I didn't call out to him; I knew he would have asked where you were." He seemed pleased with himself for thinking ahead.
There were no words to describe how much I loathed having him lie. "I see." It was all I could say about it. I hated myself. "Now, what were you saying about the dining room, my love?"
"The floor, Mother, I've never seen anything in all my life quite like it!"
"What do you mean?"
"It was a mirror, but the images that it reflected were all distorted. You could never imagine all the different ways the same person can appear in the giant mirror. It's amazing!"
He was still explaining lunch when we came upon Raoul, who had seen better days. I had no idea what he had been up to all day, but his white shirt and black pants were caked in dirt, or sand – or both. And he appeared somewhat sunburned.
"Did you two have a nice day?" His tone said it all; he had not, and having no one else, he would take it out on us.
"Yes, we had a wonderful day, didn't we, my love?"
"We did! Father you would not believe some of the things within the hotel!"
"Oh no? Well, I would believe it! I've spent half the goddamn day lost in a room, only it was no room! It was a desert! Do you two hear me? A goddamn desert, right here, within this monstrosity of a hotel! There was real sand! And pyramids! There were pyramids for God's sake! I believe in illusions but this – what is here, this place – I have no words for it!" He was more putout than I had ever seen him.
"You didn't like it?" Gustave asked in disbelief.
"Like it?" he looked at the child as though he had ten heads. "I loathed it! I missed my meeting with Cromson or Cromlin – whatever his name is – because I was lost for so damn long! I nearly died out there of dehydration, I tell you! How such an abomination can be allowed to exist within a hotel? What kind of madhouse is this place!"
Withholding a smile, I said, "I am sorry you had a bad day, darling." He was taunt,so filled with frustration, with anger, that it permeated the air around him.
Suddenly, in that moment, more than anything, I wanted him to smile. It had been so long since I had last seen him smile. Perhaps if we were all to go out together as a family, it would brighten his mood.
"We should go out. Let's clean up a bit and then we can leave. We can see some of the sights as we look for a place to eat dinner. Please come with us, darling." Already the atmosphere of Coney was rubbing off on me. I wanted back out onto her streets for more.
"Yes, Father! Please come to dinner with us!"
"I don't know. . . ."
"Please, Papa." Gustave's use of his childhood title for Raoul, instantly melted any resolve he had.
"All right."
"Yes!"
"Let us all go clean, change and meet back here when we are done."
We did just that, and looked much better, refreshed.
"All right, if we're going to go, let's go." Raoul grumbled, his mood not yet improved.
"That sounds wonderful." I smiled, determined to stay in good cheer.
"But not to Phantasma! I do not wish to see any more of this hellish place than I have to."
"That's fine. There are many other things we can see, darling."
I was pleasantly surprised that Raoul did not grouse or gripe as we made our way down and out of the hotel. The sun was beginning to set; the sky was a lovely shade of pink. It would be hot tomorrow. I took in a deep breath of salt filled air and smiled. I loved it here.
"Father, isn't it just wonderful?" Gustave asked, his affections for the place seeming to mirror my own. A giant smile suffused his beautiful face.
"Oh, yes. Fantastic." He replied sarcastically.
"Darling," I turned to Gustave. "What would you like to do?"
He thought a moment. "I want to ride that roller coaster Kerie mentioned today!"
"What coaster is that, my love?"
"The Cyclone."
"Then that is where we shall go."
"A roller coaster? Wonderful." Raoul sighed. I yearned for him to let down the wall of rejection he had erected; until he did,I would not be able to help him.
"Darling, it will be fun." He did not seem any more enthused. I moved to his side. "I promise it will be. I wish you would remove that frown and replace it with a smile. You are so very handsome when you smile."
He stopped walking, glanced at me sideways, and miraculously – smiled! For whatever reason, this time my words had gotten through to him.
"I'm sorry that I've been so cross with you lately." I ceased walking as he went on apologizing. "I have not had much patience as of late. Today I'm afraid, was simply my breaking point. I am sorry."
Tears stung my eyes. I loved him so very much in that moment.
"I'm sorry, as well. I have not necessarily been of much help or comfort." I looked to see if Gustave was listening, but he was not. He was already lost looking at the wonders around us.
He kissed me.
Raoul, his cerulean eyes bright, took my lips in his. As he moved his mouth with mine, I could not help but feel a flame ignite between us. In my mind, as his lips caressed mine, he was the boy I had fallen in love with, sweet, tender, affectionate, caring. Lost in that, I was kissing him back, and I did love him. When he was once again the person I had fallen in love with, I could almost say that I was in love with him.
"Lotte," he murmured huskily, returning his lips to mine.
God, when he was that person, the one I had fallen in love with at seven and then again at sixteen, I did not want to leave him. I was a spoiled child who wanted it all. But I could not have it all. I had but one day, and I still could not make myself accept that one of the men I loved was going to be wounded, maybe fatally. I did not want to think about the fact that I would once again crush someone I loved.
"Raoul," I breathed, pulling back as my sudden realization dampened the mood.
"I love you. God, I love you!" And before I could react, he took my mouth in his and kissed me with more passion than ever before.
I began to cry.
"Ew! Mother, Father!" Gustave laughed, embarrassed,saving me from explaining my tears as I quickly and furtively wiped them away.
Raoul pulled his lips from mine, but kept me close. "Pretty soon, son – you'll want to kiss some beautiful young girl, wait and see." He smiled, winked, then kissed me quickly once more.
He was that boy I loved. His whole face had morphed into someone who barely resembled the tense, nasty man from earlier. His blue eyes shone bright and I could not help but wrap my arms around him. I didn't want to let go of him – that boy – I wanted to keep him there with me always.
"Okay! I get the picture! Come on, cut it out!" He laughed as he ran to us and playfully pulled us apart. He positioned himself between us, taking a hand from each and began leading us down the crowded streets of Coney. We had to ask where the coaster was. A stranger was kind enough to tell us where to go.
Raoul and I gazed at each other. The way he smiled, the way his eyes were aglow with happiness, stirred my heart and broke it all at once. I knew that if I gave him enough time and had enough patience with him, he would always be the man I loved. But if I abandoned him – I could not begin to think of what would become of him. . . .
"Look! There it is! We're here!" Gustave exclaimed as we approached the attraction we were in search of.
The Cyclone.
"Wow! Do you see that drop? It's huge!" I could not help but be reminded of Erik as I saw the golden ring glitter with excitement in his eyes.
"Are you sure you want to go on that?"
"Absolutely!"
"That's my boy!" Raoul laughed, patting Gustave good-humoredly on the back. He then wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me to him. "We're all going to ride it, aren't we?" He asked, looking to me.
I smiled, but my stomach tightened. I had thought I would just watch as they rode. Now I had no choice, I had to go. The massive wooden coaster was quite intimidating with its high track and daring turns; it frightened me.
There were stairs leading up to the platform, and no sooner had we begun to ascend them, then we came to a stop. We were at the end of a very long line.
A heavy, bald headed man who had markings on every inch of exposed skin – someone I was convinced to stay away from – smiled politely and said, "Hello."
When was I going to learn not to judge a book by its cover?
"Hello." I smiled in return.
"Yes, hello." Raoul offered in a genuine attempt to be pleasant. I prayed he would remain that person – I could talk to that person, and quite possibly make an impact upon him which would last.
While the line was long, it moved quickly and before long we were sitting in the car, waiting to leave the station. The boys smiled, excited; I was nervous. I swallowed hard as the car jolted to a start and began to roll along the tracks.
As we ascended, my heart hammered. It seemed as though we were headed for the clouds, and just when I thought there would be no end to our clackety climb, we evened off as we passed two flags on other side of the tracks billowing in the wind. We were so extraordinarily high up. My heart began to pound harder. Slowly, so slowly, we approached the edge of the first and highest drop. As we dipped over the edge and plummeted down, my stomach sprung into my throat. The wind, the sheer force of our fall, was staggering. When it seemed we would surely crash into the ground, we were again soaring up and over the tracks. And so it went. Again and again, up and down, side to side, and all the while . . . we laughed.
It was a memory I would keep with me always.
"That was so much fun!" Gustave cried as we rolled to a stop, left the car and watched as new passengers took our place.
We all agreed.
It was fun.
As we made our way back to the hotel, deciding to eat there – Gustave could not keep quiet about the mirrored floor – Raoul was in the best spirits I had seen him in for years.
A higher power however, decided to put an end to our happiness.
I brushed shoulders with a tall blonde, who huffed and puffed as though I had sought her out deliberately. "Watch where you're walking, will you!" She turned and as she took in Raoul, Gustave and most of all, me, the color drained from her tan face. "My God."
"Do I know you?" Something about the offensive blonde seemed familiar.
"No, it couldn't possibly be." She muttered, backing away.
"My God, Meg is that you?" I asked, even though I already knew that the tantalizing woman before me was her.
It was really her! The best friend I had ever had and I had nearly passed her by.
"Christine, what are you doing here?" She gawked. It was not the reaction I thought I would have gotten.
"Meg, I hardly recognized you!" I was so happy to see her.
"Mother, who is that?" Gustave was at my side, smiling at Meg. I looked for Raoul. He stayed back, keeping his distance, and looked as though he had seen a ghost.
"Darling, this is my friend, Meg. I've told you about her before. She is the beautiful dancer who was my closest friend as a child, remember?"
"Yes, I do." He smiled. "Hello."
"What are you doing here?" She repeated, ignoring him. She was anxious, angry, upset; every thing but happy to see me.
It hurt.
"I – we – came here on business." I stammered. I was suddenly very curious whether or not she knew of Erik's presence in Coney.
"What kind of business?" She asked guardedly.
"I am to sing in Phantasma's closing show."
"Sing?" She cawed back, her voice shrill and grating. She seemed like someone I had never known.
"Yes, an aria."
"But you can't be here to sing!"
"Why?"
"Because I'm singing! I'm the star of the show, for God's sake and I know nothing about this!" I guess I knew the answer to her having any knowledge of Erik. "How can you be singing?" She stomped her foot down in frustration like a child.
"Meg, dear – I only have one little aria." I couldn't understand her displeasure, but she was clearly upset and the mother within me wanted to comfort her. "It has been so long since I have last performed. You will no doubt out-shine me."
"I still do not understand." She was exasperated. "Who asked you to perform?"
"A Mr. Whye, and a 'hello', Ms. Giry, would be quite appreciated." Raoul had at last stepped forward to stand beside me.
"I'm sorry, but I'm just rather stunned to see you; that is all." She collected herself and smiled. "Who is this?" She asked, batting her false eyelashes at my child.
"Meg, I'd like you to meet, Gustave. My son." Now it was my turn to smile widely; I was so proud of him.
"Gustave? Wasn't that your father's name?" She asked me.
I nodded my head.
"Well, I adore it! Gustave, I'm Meg and it is very nice to meet you." She offered her hand for him to shake, which he did.
"Hello. It's very nice to meet you, as well," replied my little gentleman.
Looking between Raoul and myself, she smiled in apology. "Really, Christine, I am very sorry I was not more welcoming, but seeing you out of nowhere, after all this time . . . it was shocking."
"It's all right, Meg, let us forget it. How have you been? After the opera had burned, I never saw Meg or her mother again. They had disappeared and I had not heard from my either since.
"Oh, I've been so wonderful, so has mother! Her decision to come here was genius."
"Your mother is here, as well?" Raoul asked, as his blonde brow rose in suspicion.
"Yes, she is, only not right at the moment. She was sent away on business, and I'm beginning to see why. . . ." The last, I knew, was meant to be a thought, but Meg had never been one to control her inner monologue.
"I'm sorry, Ms. Giry, what was that?"
"Oh, nothing." She waved at the air, laughing at herself as she did. "Well, Christine darling, I would love to stay and catch up but I really must be going, there is someone I have to see. But my sweet old friend, it was so wonderful to see you again. I'm sure we'll see more of each other before you leave Coney, seeing as we are in the same show." Smiling, she had no sooner blown back into my life, than she was gone again.
So many years I had wondered what had become of the friend I had missed to that day. In all the places in the world that I pictured her, I had never dreamed I would find her here. I had always assumed that she and her mother had started over somewhere new, that she was married, perhaps a mother herself. I had thought that she would have given up performing. I loved her dearly, and while she excelled at ballet, she had never been leading lady material. I could not understand Erik for making her his star. Had her talent grown so exponentially in the last ten years? I doubted it. I suddenly sensed that there was far more to it than that. . . .
"That was a little odd, don't you think?" I was not the only one whose suspicions were aroused.
I played dumb. "What do you mean?"
"I mean," he stressed, his tone snide. "Do you not find it queer that it is the first time in ten years that you are to perform, and it just so happens that it's in the same show as Megan Giry?"
I did not believe Raoul would ever tie Meg to Erik, or place Erik as Mr. Whye, but I was sick thinking it, just the same.
"I think it is simply a small world that we live in, after all."
"Small world?" He scoffed. "I do not think so, my dear wife, and from the sudden pallor of your skin – I would have to say nor do you."
"Raoul, I do not know–" Before I could continue to lie further, Raoul bellowed and all traces of the boy I loved were instantly gone with the wind.
"Where in God's name has your son disappeared to now!" Gustave always became my son when he did something that displeased Raoul.
"Gustave?" I turned in haste; he had been right beside us only two moments before.
"This is ridiculous! He's constantly pulling this stunt, Christine and I'm tired of it!" Gustave's affinity for wandering wore on Raoul's nerves on the best of days. But now, with him so angry to begin with, Gustave's disappearance had him seething.
"I'm sure he did not mean to wander, darling. You know he gets easily distracted by things." I could not spot him anywhere on the street, and I was beginning to worry.
"Yes, distracted by strange things! Things no normal ten year old would be distracted by, and things that hold no relevance to the fact that he should never wander from us! I swear, Christine, when I get my hands on him, this time he will be punished! I do not care what you say, he is my son, too!"
"Darling, please calm down and let us look for him. Perhaps if we–"
"I cannot do this. I'll be back later. Perhaps by then, you will have located your son." Before I could open my mouth to speak, he stormed off into the crowded street headed in the opposite direction of the hotel.
Trying to find Gustave, alone, was going to be like finding a needle in a field of haystacks! The streets were packed with person upon person, and I was concerned for my son. While he was far more intelligent than most, he was still so small in such a large world.
"Lookin' for someone, lassie?" An elderly man with a thick Irish brogue asked from beside me.
"Yes, my son."
"Cute little lad with hair blonde as an angel's?"
It was only then that I bothered to remove my eyes from the crowd to take in the man before me. He was weathered with age and so slight, it looked as though a good gust of wind would knock him over. He wore a pleasant expression.
"Yes, my son has light blonde hair. Have you seen him?"
"Just a few moments ago. He walked off with three oddities, if you know what I mean?" He laughed revealing a toothless smile. "You look rather put out, lassie, was he not supposed to go? It seemed like the lad knew 'em. Want I should get the authorities?"
"No, thank you, that won't be necessary." I walked away before the man could say anything further.
I had a fairly good idea who Gustave had gone with. He would not have walked off with three strangers;, that I knew. I believed the trio was the same ones who had picked us up from the dock. And I knew exactly who had sent them.
Erik.
I had expected to be with them as Erik showed Gustave the park. It shouldn't have worried me, but the thought of Gustave alone with Erik's perceptive eyes, frightened me.
What if he could tell? And after I had ample opportunities to tell him the truth?
He would hate me.
I quickened my pace, almost upon the hotel.
I prayed Erik would not see; I didn't want to hurt him further.
I prayed Raoul would change.
Most of all . . .
I prayed for the ability to split myself down the middle, so I could help them both.
Erik had been right.
I was at an impasse. . . .
*Author's Note:
I apologize that this chapter took so long to finish, but all the chapters lately have been whoppers, lol! I'm trying to write an original story, in hope I can get it published (wishful thinking) and all the chapters I have so far are like 30-40 typed pages! This chapter was 22 pages. Guess I ramble a bit when I write – please, who am I kidding, I ramble when I talk, too! ;p
Anyway, yes, I know that Nathan's wasn't built until 1916, but I had to put it in. You have no idea how many times I've been to the original Nathan's in Coney (used live there) and there is nothing like it. I hope you can overlook that error in time, this story's set in 1907 almost ten years before Nathan's ;)
Please let me know what you guys think, what you liked, and what you hated – I want to hear it all! I have a Say Now number, that means you guys can call the number, leave me a message and I get to listen to it! It's super cool, lol! Here's the #: 1 (323) 215-1366
And oh! I also just uploaded a new Phantom fic. It's called, A Love Unending. I had written it five years ago, almost 6, but never posted it because I had no feedback. Well, my amazingly wonderful beta (GraySkies29 *check out her work, she's so brilliant!*) took a look at the prologue for me and managed to condense it to 3 pages verses the 11 I had written (I rambled a lot, lmao) She's going to look over the other chapters I have written, and when she does, I'll post 'em. You'll notice that my writing is different than it is today, and that's because I've read over a 100 books since writing that, lol. I'd really love it if you checked it out ;) Here's the link:(put the usual http:/ then type in the www (fanfiction isn't allowing me to give links in their entirety) .fanfiction and the '.net' is already there, and the rest of the link is correct) .net/s/6341812/1/A_Love_Unending
So I totally rambled enough. I hope you liked this chapter – let me know!
Love you guys!
-Shannon*