Hi and sorry, guys!
Writing this chapter took me a lot longer than expected. I had to re-write things a bunch of times because I wanted Bolo's reunion to be special and great. I guess I also gave my amazing beta eblane a hard time with this one.
sergeik: May I start off by saying that I really loved your review and your opinions! Thank you very much! I was bursting with pride when I read you think my Bo is how she should be;) Well, you really got to the heart of it; the whole situation is a huge mess, but maybe Bo and Lauren will be able clean it up..
cheekymadom: Thanks a lot for the review! Maybe drunk!Bo will make a return someday;)
Pilaqui33: Thank you for your loyalty; hope you won't be disappointed by what's yet to come:)
MaryPeace: Thanks for your review! Well, let's see if there's still a chance for their love;)
msmukamo: I'm sorry for making you cry and obviously keeping you on tenterhooks for so long. Hopefully, this chapter will put you out of your misery!
There were a couple 'guests'; this one's for the one with the questions: I used to love Bo, but she really pulled some shit in s3 and whether Tamsin (I find her totally annoying) nor The Wanderer will make an appearance in this story or in any of the following ones. And don't get me started on The Dawning.. To answer your questions: Trick knew that Bo only promised to join The Light because she was desperately trying to change his mind, so he never took her up on her promise. Yes, The Morrigan's intention was to break Bo and win her over to the Dark Side, but the whole thing will be fully explained soon. Nope, no one knows about Lauren's condition (except for the sunshine gang, of course).
To the rest of you guys: Thank you so much for your reviews! I hope this chapter will ease your heartbreak a little.
Enjoy!
The rain was pouring down by the time Bo reached the woods. Lightning and thunder broke up the peace of the night, but she was undeterred by it all, feeling a determination she hadn't felt in months. She was done being a shadow of her former self, a pitiful creature mourning a woman who didn't have the courage or decency to properly break up with her.
With the Camaro parked at the side of the road, Bo turned off the engine and got out of the car, briefly marveling at the fact that she hadn't caused an accident on the way here. In the alley she had expelled most of Trick's booze that she had consumed, but the remaining alcohol in her system was still dulling her senses. Kenzi would've said she more luck than judgment tonight.
Knowing that Lauren could be anywhere in this large wooded area, the succubus wasted no time setting foot into the forest and shouting the blonde's name. Since all the trees and bushes looked the same, she paid no attention to the way she was going.
Despite the dense foliage, it wasn't long before Bo was soaked to the skin and chilled to the bone, clutching her leather jacket tightly around herself. The ground was saturated with rain causing her to slip again and again, her clothes were bespattered with mud, and after what felt like ages of searching, the brunette had shouted herself hoarse.
With every passing minute, Bo's determination subsided, a mixture of exhaustion and hopelessness taking its place. It began to dawn on her that her great idea of confronting Lauren and getting her to justify herself wasn't that great actually. The succubus had no doubt the doctor was fully aware of her presence in the forest by now. Instead of facing her, however, she had apparently decided to remain hidden. Bo was fighting a losing battle in this case for Lauren probably knew this region like the back of her hand, making it impossible to find her.
"Lauren," she rasped as loud as she could, "where the hell are you?!"
There was no response, only the constant sound of heavy rain and hard wind shaking the branches and leaves. She tried to ignore this burning sensation in her eyes she had become more than familiar with over the last few months, looking around in the dark and smothering one curse after the other. The mere thought of Lauren being maybe even close enough to witness her despair enraged the succubus until something inside her snapped.
"You're a fucking coward, Lauren!" Bo suddenly burst out, throwing up her arms. "And a fucking asshole! All I ever did was support you when you started changing. I never reproached you for making me feel unloved and left out, but you didn't care, did you? You just abandoned me and our life together! Come out and talk to me! Look me in the eye, Lauren!"
Kicking against small rocks and rotting branches, she tripped over a tree root all of a sudden and fell down on her knees. Robbed of her last bit of strength, Bo didn't try to get up but remained like this, breathing heavily. Her voice cracked when she whispered, "You owe me that much."
But again, nothing happened and the succubus let her tears fall freely in the end. She was shivering with cold, her throat raw from the rampage; her muscles were tired and her soul damaged beyond repair. In that moment Bo realized she had lost Lauren for good, already months ago in Trick's basement. Her Lauren, the nerdy and adorably awkward doctor, had died on the old man's couch; the one that Ciara had brought back was a completely different person.
A strange noise in front of her caught Bo's attention, her quickening heartbeat betraying her. Lifting her head, she made out the blurry outlines of a black figure a few meters away from her, and for a split second, the brunette could've sworn it was Lauren. When a flash of lightning illuminated the woods momentarily, however, she could see that it was certainly not the blonde but instead a black-eyed woman, her lips and chin smeared with a suspicious dark substance slowly being washed away by the rain.
The sight was enough to get the succubus' adrenaline flowing, instincts kicking in. Enveloped in darkness again, she kept her blazing blue eyes on the other woman's frame while she slowly reached back for the dagger in her right boot. Bo might have had no idea what type of Fae she was, but she planned on putting up one hell of a fight; it was the one thing she was still capable of next to screwing and boozing.
Every muscle in the brunette's body tensed as she watched the other woman crouch down, but when she gave a hiss, a deafening roar erupted close by, making them both cringe. It seemed to reverberate throughout the forest before it finally stopped and both Bo and the woman scanned the area for its source, eventually spotting another figure in the dark under a large nearby tree.
Briefly, the succubus thought that it was Dyson who had come to her recue as it was just his way, but she knew the shifter would've snarled. She quickly leaped up to her feet, drawing her dagger in the process and pointing it alternately at the black-eyed woman and the newcomer.
"Look," the woman suddenly addressed the shadow under the tree, startling Bo with the soft tone of her voice, "she's all yours, alright? I don't wanna cause any bad blood between us."
"Get lost, Saffron," the figure growled in response, its eyes flashing emerald green for a second. "Now."
Saffron obviously didn't need to be told twice, bowing slightly before she took to her heels as gracefully as possible. With an odd feeling in her stomach region, Bo focused her attention on the one Saffron seemed to be rather afraid of, hoping for proof of the saying that the enemy of one's enemy was their friend. If only she could see the figure's face.
"I'll show you my gratitude," the brunette tried hesitantly, "if you come a little closer and reveal yourself to me, of course."
Another bolt of lightning obviated the need for Bo's persuasion, exposing a beautiful blonde. The succubus' mouth fell open, her heart hammering in her chest so hard that she felt it could burst through. She felt hot and cold at the same time, the dagger slipping from her weak grasp as her arm fell to her side and hitting the muddy ground almost soundlessly.
Her throat constricted, she finally managed to choke out, "Lauren ... "
Lauren took a deep breath before she stepped out from beneath the tree and approached Bo with heavy feet. This was definitely not how she had imagined them meeting again, but running away now would have been immature and stupid. She kept her distance, but came close enough for the brunette to really see her and not just some blurry silhouette.
She had followed Bo the entire time to keep an eye on her while trying to ignore all of her pleas, insults and the outburst. It had hurt so much that Lauren had been grateful for Saffron's sudden appearance, providing her an opportunity to channel this pain into aggression. She had already felt the beast inside her stir, Saffron had known better than to mess with her, however, the animal receding after her departure.
Now that Bo had her full attention, the blonde noted how thin the succubus had grown under her leather clothes, the bags under her puffy eyes and her sunken cheeks. A wave of guilt and shame washed over her, feeling she was to blame. She never would have thought that Bo would take it that hard, considering her to be the strongest person she had ever met.
As Lauren eventually broke the silence, her big brain failed her miserably, "Hey."
Bo just kept on staring at the cause of all her agony, a million thoughts racing through her mind. She had often wondered what she would say if the two of them ever came face to face again, making up actual conversations between them in her head. Now that it was really happening, however, she was left speechless.
Part of her wanted to take the doctor in her arms and kiss her, breathe her in like oxygen, never letting her go, but the other part of her wanted to slap her, hurt her, make her feel the same pain she had inflicted on the succubus. She couldn't distinguish love from hate anymore, desire from disgust, while Lauren just stood there all calm and clinical.
"Hey?" Bo croaked after ages of silence. "That's all you have to say? Hey?"
Lauren opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She wasn't prepared for this, not yet, a thousand ideas of what to say coming to her mind, each one progressively worse. Every fiber of the doctor's being screamed at her to run and hide, but she was frozen to the spot, waiting for Bo to say or do something as her composure slowly started to erode and emotions seeped in.
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" the succubus suddenly yelled, making the blonde jump. "You made me love you, made me believe we could have a life together, with kids and a picket fence, before you broke my heart, broke me for fuck's sake, by walking out on me like I was some whore you just fucked on a motel bed and acting for months as if I didn't exist! And 'hey' is really the only thing you have to say to me now? Or is there more to come? Are you gonna ask me how I am?"
Angry tears were streaming down Bo's cheeks as she paused to draw a breath, fists clenched at her sides. She didn't really know where the strength for another rant was coming from, but it felt so good to let it all out and to see the shock written all over Lauren's face, to see her displaying any emotion at all. Eyes flaring blue, the succubus gave a humorless laugh.
"Do you want me to tell you how I am?" she snorted. "Well, I drink myself into oblivion almost every night, I start fights with random people and I fuck every woman that bears even the slighted resemblance to you. I charm them so they don't get mad when I repeatedly call them by your name, you know. As you can see, I'm great. I'm fucking great, Lauren! Thanks for asking!"
Completely taken aback, Lauren could do nothing but gape at the panting brunette; this was why Dyson and Ciara refused to talk about Bo. She never would have thought that she would bring such misery upon the succubus by leaving her. The doctor had only meant to protect her, and had buried her own feelings under countless layers of ice and baser instincts until she had literally become more of an animal than a human being.
Tears threatened to flood her eyes as she recalled the nights she had cried herself to sleep, wishing for Bo to be lying next to her and holding her, the days she had fought the urge to go back and ask for Bo's forgiveness. She had always known of the damage she had done to Bo, to herself, and to them, but only now did she really understand the extent of it. The ice started to melt away, slowly laying bare all the pain that was mirrored in the brunette's eyes.
"Say something, Lauren!" Bo snapped, the doctor's passiveness driving her crazy. "I beg you!"
The heavy rain almost drowned the blonde's voice when she answered softly, "What do you want to hear from me, Bo?"
There were a lot of things Lauren wanted to say of her own accord, but she couldn't think of a way to say them. No words seemed good enough to express her sorrow and regret, or to make her reasons for leaving sound at least a little comprehensible to Bo. Whatever she would have said now, it no longer mattered; she had broken them both.
The succubus closed her eyes in frustration, swallowing hard. She had always known how reserved Lauren could be in certain situations, but she had never seen her this apathetic before. Bo hadn't expected Lauren to vent her emotions after months of being apart as she did, she had expected her to apologize and to explain why she went away without looking back, however. Her Lauren was indeed long gone.
When Bo opened her eyes again, they had reverted to their natural color, giving Lauren the most vulnerable look she had ever seen. "I wanna hear what I've been waiting for you to say ever since you started changing."
It was a sentence, one sentence she wanted to hear from the blonde. It was a sentence that would smash the last piece of her heart that had remained through it all, but it was also a sentence that would draw the final line under their relationship the brunette so desperately needed. Afterwards she would either be able to move on, or she would lose herself to the darkness forever.
"Tell me you don't love me anymore," Bo asked, trembling all over. "But I want you to look into my eyes when you do. And then you'll never have to see me again."
Lauren felt like a sledgehammer had hit her, knocking the wind out of her. Bo's voice was laced in anguish and defeat, and the doctor tried to think of something that would fix this, fix them, but her mind wouldn't come up with anything useful. She was just as devastated as the succubus by this mess that used to be their love, yet she found herself unable to give it its quietus.
"I won't tell you that, Bo," she rasped with a shake of her head. "I'm sorry."
Gritting her teeth, the brunette demanded, "Why not?"
She couldn't believe that Lauren was cruel enough to deny her this last request. After everything the doctor had put her through over the last months, it was the least she could do for her. Choking on her tears, Bo felt the urge to grab and shake the blonde while yelling at her how much she wished they had never met. "Answer me, dammit!"
"Because I'd be lying if I did!" Lauren suddenly shouted back, unwilling to take it anymore. "I loved you from the second we met, Bo, and I never stopped! I can only imagine how stupid this must sound to you, but it's true! There's no day, no moment going by where I don't think about you, that I don't bitterly regret losing the best thing that ever happened to me!" - her voice finally softened - "What I'm trying to say is that I still love you ... I love you so much, Bo."
"Liar," the succubus sobbed heart-wrenchingly. "If so, you wouldn't have treated me the way you did. You made me cry so damn often, and you didn't give a shit."
Bo never forgot the times Lauren bit her head off for trying to talk to her, let alone trying to touch her, or the times the blonde would be gone for hours and show no sign of life, leaving the brunette worried. And she would never forget when Lauren had walked away without a fight, without thinking twice. Bo had broken down on the bathroom floor then, weeping until Kenzi found her there.
"That's not true," the doctor argued as a tear ran down her cheek that mixed with the rain on her face. "Nothing was, is more important to me than you. That's why I had to leave. I was scared of losing control over myself and harming you again, which is why I tried to stay away from you. The problem was that you wanted to be there for me, so I pushed you away."
Watching Bo's face, it was obvious to Lauren that her words weren't making much sense to the brunette. Nevertheless, the doctor made an effort to sort her thoughts and continued, "I didn't mean to hurt you. I wanted to lock you in my arms and tell you about everything going on inside me, but I just couldn't. Instead, I distanced myself from you, and the more I did, the more you would try to help me and be with me ... It was like a downward spiral we couldn't escape. And then we stood face to face in our bathroom, and when you said that it was probably for the better if I didn't come back, I could only think about how right you were."
Lauren waited for any kind of reaction, but the succubus remained silent, simply frowning at her. She knew that this poor attempt at an explanation wouldn't be able to mend their situation, but it was the only thing she could offer right now.
Lightning flashed, followed by ear-splitting thunder when Bo moved all of a sudden, approaching Lauren at a brisk pace. The blonde prepared herself for a slap in the face and squeezed her eyes shut, however, before she knew what was happening, she was being grabbed and pulled flush against the succubus' body, feeling her lips on her own.
Overwhelmed with emotion, Bo could feel her instincts taking over as she kissed the blonde hard, not intimidated by Lauren's initial reluctance for it grew weaker by the second while her aura intensified. When the doctor tried to say something, the brunette just took the opportunity to slide her tongue into her mouth, both of them moaning with pleasure, right before Lauren eventually gave in and put her arms around Bo.
The blonde was aware of the danger this moment entailed, however, her mind went blank as their tongues engaged in an old familiar dance. She could taste alcohol, the salt of Bo's tears and other things that she didn't really want to name, but she could also taste the pure essence of the woman she loved. Clutching at her jacket, Lauren drew the succubus as close as physically possible.
Bo had forgotten what happiness felt like over the last months, but now that she was caressing the hot velvet of Lauren's mouth again, she finally remembered. Tears of joy escaped her shut lids as she nipped at the doctor's bottom lip, reclaiming her mate. She moved her kisses down to Lauren's neck to lick every inch of skin that savored of rain and sweat and wood.
Breathing heavily, Lauren put her head back to grant the succubus better access. When Bo bit down near the scar on her chest, however, she sensed the animal deep inside of her rising all of a sudden; it was what the blonde had been terrified of. She immediately grabbed the brunette's shoulders and tried to shove her off, but Bo held on to her for dear life, grasping the drenched fabric of her blouse.
"No," the succubus panted into the other woman's ear, "not this time."
Bo knew that if Lauren walked away from her now, she wouldn't get through the night. She had Kenzi, her sister by choice if not by blood, Dyson, steadfast friend and confidant, Trick, tutor and father figure, Hale and Ciara, but life just wasn't worth living without Lauren by her side, her heart and soul, her other half.
"Please, Bo," the blonde begged helplessly, the beast lurking beneath the surface and assessing the situation. "You don't understa-"
The succubus hushed her, over and over, till Lauren ultimately admitted defeat by falling silent. As Bo would neither listen nor let go, she pressed the brunette close again and concentrated on keeping the upper hand over her cougar. The doctor had to summon all her strength to get it to back down, an involuntary grumble coming from inside her chest.
After what seemed like ages, her inner animal abandoned the field at last, allowing her muscles to relax and her eyes to return to normal. Relief flooded the blonde's body as at least for now the beast appeared to be under control. Fortunately, Bo had buried her face in the crook of the doctor's neck so she hadn't been able to see her eyes change color.
They stayed in each other's arms, keeping silent for fear of ruining this moment with meaningless words. Bo heard her heart pound in her ears while feeling Lauren's equally erratic heartbeat against her lips as they grazed the blonde's carotid artery. She couldn't help but smile wistfully when their heartbeats slowed and synchronized with one another as they often had after lovemaking.
"Bo, you're like ice," Lauren finally noted in a concerned tone. "We have to get you out of the rain and these wet clothes to prevent you from hypothermia."
Her modified genes made the doctor impervious to cold, but Bo was still sensitive to it. She was out here in the rain in the middle of the night for hours now, shaking uncontrollably by this time. Lauren felt guilty for not thinking about it, for letting the brunette run and stand around in the elements for so long.
The succubus chuckled at Lauren's doctor side taking command, reminding her of happier times. "If you really wanna get me outta my clothes, just keep up the geek speak."
Lauren was too worried to show any interest in the succubus' innuendo. "I'm serious, Bo. I'll take you home."
Bo instantly tightened her hold on the blonde, afraid that she would bring her to the clubhouse and then disappear again. She had no idea where to go from here, but she knew she wouldn't let them be separated now since they were so obviously far from over. There were many things that had yet to be talked about, but their love was still burning like a raging fire.
"My cabin is close to here," the doctor declared, ready to head off. "You can take a shower there and borrow some dry clothes from me."
While Lauren rubbed Bo's back for warmth, she felt the brunette slowly relax once more, wondering why she had tensed up in the first place. It occurred to the doctor that maybe she had thought she would simply drop her off at the clubhouse and leave it to Kenzi to look after her, abandoning the succubus yet again. Holding her in her arms now after months of being apart, however, made Lauren realize that she wasn't able to do that again.
Later, neither of them would be able to tell how long it took them to reach Lauren's cabin. It really wasn't far away, but the ground was slippery, and what was more, Bo wouldn't stop clinging to Lauren as if her life depended on it, making it difficult for them to move forward. Again and again, she would cup the blonde's cheek with one hand to bring their faces together and seal their lips in a passionate kiss, which Lauren would eagerly return, until things would become so heated that her inner animal would stir and she had to break away, urging them onward.
When they finally stumbled through the cabin's front door, the thunderstorm had moved on, leaving only the patter of heavy rain in its wake. Paying no mind to the wet and muddy trail they were leaving on the floor, Lauren aimed straight for the bathroom, where she managed to sit Bo down on the toilet lid after a bit persuasion; now that she was indeed in the blonde's new home, the succubus slowly began to release her fears of Lauren deserting her again.
"I'll pick out some clothes for you while you take a shower," the doctor told her, rubbing her neck somewhat nervously. "You ... you can put your own in the washing machine. Oh, and the towels are clean by the way."
Lauren couldn't recall another moment where she had felt so many emotions at once, but besides that, she was still flushed and aroused from before, and the thought of a naked Bo under a jet of hot water wasn't helping. Clearing her throat awkwardly, she turned to leave the room as the succubus caught her wrist, silently requesting the blonde to face her once more.
"What about you?" Bo asked with a shaky voice. "You're wet through as well, Lauren."
The doctor gave a soft smile as she replied, "Don't worry, I'm fine."
Bo surrendered and lost her hold in the end, yet Lauren couldn't bring herself to go since the brunette was looking at her like a puppy that had just been kicked by its beloved owner; with big, vulnerable and pleading eyes. Wanting to comfort her somehow, she wordlessly kneeled down in front of Bo to take her mud-caked boots off and toss them into a corner. Afterwards, Lauren straightened her back to place a chaste kiss on her lips before she rose and pulled the succubus with her.
She helped Bo shrug off her soggy leather jacket, then removed her shirt in a swift motion, the doctor's eyes falling upon the brunette's bra-clad breasts. With an ache between her legs, Lauren allowed Bo to unbutton her blouse, and soon the fabric hit the floor. The succubus looked at the blonde's chest, but it wasn't the scar that attracted her attention.
"Lauren," she breathed, reaching out her hand for the well-known piece of jewelry around the doctor's neck, "you're still wearing it."
Although she could have simply used her powers of persuasion on the jeweler, Bo had saved up money instead from their investigation assignments for a good while to be able to afford the necklace, because her love for Lauren was true and honest; she wanted the gift to be true and honest at its source as well. When she had told Kenzi that at the time, the girl had teased her that in this case, the best move would be to start saving up now for an engagement ring so she could pop the question in about fifteen years or so.
"Of course I am, Bo," Lauren answered as she gently cupped the brunette's face in both her hands, their eyes meeting. "I always will."
The next thing they knew, they were embracing in the shower stall while hot water ran down their naked bodies. Arms wrapped around the succubus' neck, Lauren drew her in for a deep kiss, stoking the fire in their cores. Bo tried to fight the urge to rock her hips wildly against the blonde's and just enjoy the moment.
She had given up hope of ever being with Lauren like this a long time ago, yet it was actually happening, with their bare curves snuggled into each other, surrounded by steam like countless times back when they had been happy. It felt so amazingly good to caress the doctor's skin again and to have that favor returned, giving and receiving a love Bo had believed to be dead. And despite the fact that they hadn't been this intimate since forever, their bodies seemed to remember one another as if the last time had been yesterday, communicating, knowing every particularly sensitive spot.
"I missed you so much, Lauren," the brunette whispered as she stroked the doctor's back with her fingertips. "I'm so hollow without you."
"I'm here now," Lauren replied softly.
The blonde then lowered her head to suck Bo's neck, earning a moan of encouragement. As her ministration became more and more intense, Bo threw back her own head to provide optimal access, loving the thought that the doctor was marking her this way. No matter what, she belonged to Lauren and Lauren to her; that's just how it was and always would be, like a law of nature.
As the water ran cold, Lauren wrapped the succubus' legs around her waist and carried her to the bedroom, not giving a damn about drying themselves. She knew full well that this was a mistake for they were in desperate need of a talk after everything that had happened between them, but the doctor's body clearly had other needs to be met. Kissing and touching and feeling Bo again made her toss all reason overboard, a lucky chance for her cougar.
Bo's eyes were blazing with ice-blue desire when the blonde gently laid her down on the queen-sized bed and climbed on top of her, engaging her in another searing kiss. Their legs intertwined, the two of them began to rock against each other in a steady rhythm, the brunette's slick center gliding up and down Lauren's thigh and vice versa. Lauren gave a loud groan that was like music to Bo's ears as she raked her nails across the doctor's wet and sweaty shoulders.
"Fuck," the succubus panted, grasping her lover's bottom cheeks for harder thrusts, "Lauren!"
The pressure between her legs building up, Lauren's movements became more and more erratic while all her senses sharpened. She could smell every nuance of Bo's damp arousal, could taste bile and Trick's best vodka on her tongue. She could see Bo's rapt face like it was broad daylight, could feel the tiniest imperfection of her skin. She could hear raindrops hitting the glass of the bedroom windows like a hail of bullets.
Too late, Lauren realized that her beast wasn't only awake but clawing at her insides. The blonde made desperate efforts to break away from Bo, but she was bucking her hips more wildly, slamming their bodies so hard together the bed's headboard banged into the wall. Peeking at her hands clenching the sheets next to the brunette's head, she saw them starting to shift, right before she felt her teeth extending and her eyes changing. She was losing control. She would hurt Bo.
Her orgasm approaching at a rapid pace, Bo was in heaven and didn't notice the distress the doctor was in. She squeezed her eyes shut as she felt a tingly sensation running from her spine down to her toes, her breathing ragged. And then she came, arching her back with Lauren's name on her lips when her inner walls convulsed again and again and again; it was enough to drive the blonde over the edge as well, finally succumbing to her cougar.
An untamed roar caused the animals in the immediate vicinity to start up from their hideouts.