This chapter contains some unkind language. It is also the longest chapter written so far, but that's to be expected since it's also the most pivotal. PLEASE REVIEW!!

*****

Chapter 10: Relapse

Inhaling the sterile air around him made Alvin feel like he was back in a hospital bed. Every wall was white except for the occasional picture of a calming piece of scenery. His leg bounced on the ball of his foot, unconsciously revealing his discomfort in being back in the doctor's office. Eleanor sat next to him, the side of her face pressed into his bicep. Her fingers glided across the exposed skin of his forearm.

The clock in Alvin's head ticked by agonizingly slow. He urged himself to stay calm, to believe that the doctor wasn't going to inject him with anything, give him an invasive examination, or whatever else he could fear. He brought his free arm up to pinch the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

"Hey, hey, come on." Ellie consoled, able to tell that he was upset. "It's not going to go badly alright? This is just a follow-up to see how you're doing. They're seeing if you understand everything and are able to control your blood sugar at home."

"I know…" Alvin muttered. "It still doesn't help the fact that this is a doctor's office." She hugged his arm tighter.

"That's why I'm here right?"

He chuckled. "Yes." He set his nose on top of her hair. "If I were here alone I think I'd go insane."

Eleanor raised her head and looked at him. "Why didn't you ask one of your brothers, or Dave, to come with you?" She was genuinely curious. She had been surprised when Alvin had asked her to come with him yesterday. She didn't think he would want anyone to see him deal with his medical situation with a doctor. He usually kept his diabetes quiet or took his glucose monitor out of sight when he used it.

"I don't need their help." Alvin answered a bit defensively. Eleanor's eyebrows lowered, not believing him. He sighed. "Alright…it's because…" He hesitated but she waited patiently. "I feel safe around you. And I know I wouldn't be OK with having my brothers or my father here because I'd step back into trying to be macho and nonchalant." There was another word he had learned from her.

Eleanor smiled at him. "And you don't need to be macho with me, huh?"

Alvin smiled back. "You don't seem to mind how I've been acting lately." Eleanor hid her face into his arm again and shook her head.

"Your 'macho' side, as you call it, was starting to wear on me." She responded. Alvin chuckled.

The door opened then and a man in a white coat and a stethoscope around his neck stepped in. He shut the folder he was looking at and his eyes met with Alvin's.

"Hi there, Alvin." The doctor extended his hand out and Alvin shook it. "I'm Dr. Tucker. And who's this?" He asked while extending his hand toward Eleanor, who had sat up straight.

"I'm Eleanor, sir. I'm a friend of Alvin's." She answered.

"My best friend." Alvin corrected. Eleanor looked at him. He had never called her that before. She felt her cheeks grow hot.

"Ah, well welcome." Dr. Tucker sat down on the rotating stool in the room and opened up the folder again. "Alright Alvin, how are you feeling? You taking care of your injections alright?"

Alvin nodded. "Yes."

"Good, and how have your glucose numbers been looking?"

"Fine." Alvin answered tensely. Eleanor looked at him, at his body language and how he was holding his jaw. He was defensive, preparing to be scolded for possibly doing something wrong in taking care of himself. Her eyes narrowed.

"He'd been averaging around one-eighty. But in the mornings he's been waking up a bit high. Mid two-hundreds, give or take a few instances. Then in the evening he's able to drop down to a normal one-thirty or so." Eleanor spoke confidently. Dr. Tucker nodded and wrote this down. Alvin looked at her, his eyes growing wide.

"Is that about right Alvin?" Dr. Tucker asked, not looking up.

"I…yeah. Ellie's around me practically every day. She would know as well as I would." Alvin smiled at her. He didn't know she had been that attentive to his numbers. He reached out and took her hand. She blushed again.

"Alright Alvin, could you come sit up here for me?" The doctor motioned toward the table, finally setting down the folder. Alvin reluctantly stood up, letting go of the chipette's hand to sit elsewhere. "I'm going to need a blood sample to measure your A1C level, cholesterol, and the like."

Alvin swallowed. "I…" He looked at Eleanor. She gave him a sweet, reassuring smile. He sighed. "Great." Dr. Tucker turned toward him with a tourniquet and began tying above Alvin's elbow.

*****

"Will you stop picking at it?" Eleanor tore Alvin's fingers away from the gauze on his inner elbow.

"It itches." He complained. She rolled her eyes.

"You can take it off in an hour, he said." Eleanor guided him toward the receptionist's desk to finish the appointment paperwork. Alvin groaned and started to fill out the general papers. One of the unfortunate parts of being eighteen, he had discovered, is that he had to fill out all his paperwork, instead of leaving it to Dave. Insert name here, date of birth, prescriptions, other doctors, family members, blah, blah, blah. Alvin barely had the patience to stick around to make his next follow-up appointment and was practically pulling Eleanor away from the desk by the time it was finished. Alvin opened the door back into the waiting room so they could leave.

"Thank god that's over." Alvin stretched his arms out as if he had just woken up. "Now we can go have some fun." Eleanor rolled her eyes again but smiled as she hugged his arm.

"Alvin?!" A voice shrieked from the other side of the waiting room. Alvin stopped short. He knew that voice. Oh jeez, not that voice…

Alvin turned his head slowly, hating what he already knew he'd see. Natalie was walking toward him, her eyes berserk, her hair disheveled. She looked like she hadn't slept in weeks.

"Uh…hi." Alvin put his hand up in a cheesy wave. His lips pulled back in a tight smile.

"Hi?" Natalie half scoffed, half cried. "That's all I get?"

"What…do you mean?" Alvin asked, trying to get her to not talk about something stupid in front of Eleanor and all the other people watching them in the waiting room. Natalie's eyes went wider than he thought was possible.

"What do I mean?!" Alvin winced at the octave. He felt Ellie flinch too. "Oh I don't know…how about the fact that I'm the mother of your child Alvin?!"

Alvin's breath caught in his throat. His vision shook into a blurry nothing. Child? Did she say child? Alvin felt the pressure of Eleanor's body leave his arm. Her face was upturned toward him and he could feel the question in her eyes digging into his face.

"Did you…actually take the test?" Alvin whispered, trying his hardest to find his voice along with the correct words. Natalie's eyes narrowed into a malevolent glare. Her arms folded in front of her chest.

"That's what I'm here to do. Along with an STD test. Also because of you."

Alvin shook his head to clear it. "Wait, you don't actually know if you're pregnant?" Alvin felt his expression turn frustrated. She sent him into panic for nothing?

"I am pregnant you asshole!" Natalie screamed.

"Hey! Will you please keep it down? You're in a waiting room. And watch your language!" A woman behind the receptionist's desk called to them. Alvin looked at her apologetically. Natalie didn't seem to hear her.

The girl took several steps toward him, making it so only he and Eleanor could hear. "I'm late Alvin. OK? I haven't…" Natalie's eyes shot from left to right, trying to avoid saying the obvious.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." Alvin closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "But uh, there's one problem Natalie…it hasn't even been three weeks. How the heck can you be sure of any of this?"

"I am sure. And I'll prove it. Just wait Alvin. I'll prove to you that you have a child coming and your infected me with your…your diabetes!"

"Natalie…" Alvin's blood was boiling.

"Natalie Grichum?" A woman in a set of scrubs called her name from the door Alvin and Eleanor had just come through.

"Coming!" Natalie answered sweetly, flipping her hair. She turned to glare at Alvin again and whispered, "What is it exactly? Some type of exotic STD? I'll be sure to tell the doctor that. Then I'll bring you to court." Natalie smiled at him and walked away, disappearing behind the door.

Alvin's hands clenched and unclenched around the invisible air. He seethed in short, heated breaths. The small pressure of Ellie's hand on his back turned him around. She looked at him, a worrisome expression on her face.

"She's an idiot." Ellie whispered. Alvin was taken aback. His eyes went wide, watching her face for a hint of a fallacy. She smiled timidly. "I'm sorry, but anyone who acts like that without any proof or reason deserves to get slapped. Speaking of which..." Eleanor's face turned to something more evil than he'd ever seem from her. She began walking past him, her hands turning into fists, and headed toward the door Natalie had just gone through.

"Woah, woah, woah there…" Alvin chuckled, catching Ellie before she could get away. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her back. She giggled and rested her hands on his arms. "She'll find out what's what. No need to punch her face in…yet." Eleanor turned toward him, her hands resting on his chest. They looked at each other, both of them realizing just how close they were. A second later they remembered that they were in public, in the middle of a crowded waiting room. They took half a step away from each other, their arms coming back to their sides.

"But Alvin, what if she's right?" Eleanor asked after moment's pause. Alvin looked confused.

"Eleanor you know that diabetes isn't an STD, let alone contractible by another person." Alvin said. She shook her head.

"About the child."

Alvin looked up at the ceiling, understanding her. "I…don't know." They stood in silence for a few seconds, the both of them not knowing what to say. Alvin shook his head, trying to be practical. "The chance is minimal." Yet another word he'd learned from Eleanor. "I used protection. And those work, like, what? Ninety-nine percent of the time?" Alvin looked at her, his eyes still showing signs of fretting. Eleanor walked up to him, placing her hands on his shoulders.

"Do you want to wait here and find out?" She asked. Alvin smirked kindly.

"You know too well." Eleanor smiled back at him and they found an open area with two seats. They sat in silence, waiting for the door to open again to hear the screaming Natalie shout words of elation or of fury. Ellie slipped her fingers between Alvin's and leaned against him. He rested his head on hers, taking deep inhales of her floral fragrance.

*****

"Ms. Grichum, for the last time, diabetes is not a sexually transmitted disease." A Latina doctor was telling Natalie as she was being pushed through the door. Natalie opened her mouth to protest. "We scanned your blood twice, as you asked, there is no disease. We gave you a pregnancy test, also twice, and we are quite confident that you are not pregnant." Natalie's face turned toward the floor. "Now, we'll see you next time." The doctor turned and shut the door behind her.

Natalie turned her back to the door, her fingers coming up to wipe her face. Alvin could barely see tears clinging to her skin. If these were from sadness or happiness, he couldn't say. He stood up and walked toward her before she could leave. She looked up and her face immediately turned smug.

"Oh, so now you're worried about me huh? Now that I'm no longer pregnant? Now you want to have another go?" Her voice came out like poison.

Alvin rolled his eyes. "Natalie you were never pregnant. They didn't make you un-pregnant."

"Shut up." Natalie stabbed Alvin in the chest with her finger. "Shut up you pervert. You and I…will never happen again. No matter what you say to me." Eleanor joined them then and Natalie looked at her, her eyes going crazy again. "And there is no way you can talk me into the threesome with her!"

"You're an idiot, you know that?" Eleanor nearly spat at her. Natalie looked like she had been slapped. "Alvin stayed here to make sure you were OK. He cared enough to find out if you were actually pregnant with his child. All you care about is yelling at him and making him feel bad about something."

Natalie turned back to Alvin. "Aww, a changed man, are you Alvie?" Alvin didn't respond, his expression staying locked in place. "Don't make me laugh you asshole. You're nothing but a little—" A hand flew out before Alvin's eyes had time to process that it was there. Natalie fell to the floor, her hand clutching at her already reddening cheek. Alvin turned to Eleanor, seeing the girl's hand flexing in response to the impact of skin on skin.

"You don't know anything about him." Eleanor whispered, her voice dripping with malice. Natalie crawled away slightly before standing back up and briskly walking past them and out of the building. "Hey! I'm not finished with you!" Eleanor ran after her, Alvin right at her heels, trying to grab her to pull her back. "Come back here and listen to me you whore!"

Natalie whirled around so fast it was as if she'd always been facing them. "I'm the whore? How about you look at the one behind you? How about that horn-dog of a boy who will do anything that moves?" Eleanor walked forward again and Alvin pulled her back, his arm wrapped around the front of her shoulders. "And who are you? Another hopeful? Don't worry, you're probably the only thing that he won't screw. He hates fat girls, after all." Eleanor stopped struggling, her face suddenly looking close to tears. Her body went slack, and Alvin's arm came off of her in an instant. He came around her and thrust his finger in Natalie's face.

"Get out of here." His voice was rough with rage. "Now."

Natalie laughed. "Who do you think you are Alvin? You trying to say you're different? That you think sex is wrong? That you regret everything you've done? Go screw yourself!" Her hand beat away the finger in her face. "You're not fooling anyone. By next week you'll be back on your high horse coming around to get any girl you can into bed. Well, except for her." She motioned toward the frozen Eleanor. "Go ahead; pretend that you're no longer who you are. But we both know that you liked having everyone at your beck and call, always having another girl you could get for 'help'. In the meantime, stay away from me." Natalie turned on her heel walked away, her posture straight with pride, obviously feeling victorious. Alvin watched her go, his body unable to move in the amount of anger and shock he was feeling.

There was a silence that shook the two chipmunks more thoroughly than they could have anticipated. Like a black hole in the middle of space where there used to your own personal utopia. Eleanor looked at the back of Alvin's head, wishing...practically begging for the ability to read his thoughts.

*****

The sun had set, sending the world into a vision of what was happening inside of the red-clothed chipmunk. The cold, shaded atmosphere of a concrete city that contained the hollow echo of everything that had ever happened in it. The whispers of crying, lies, sin, and anger cut the inside of his brain. His past fired back at him in vivid flashbacks. Hated memories that were so sweet…so missed…so cherished and pitied.

They were parked next to the park near her house. They had decided to retreat here because it had always been the chipmunks and chipettes place of happy memories, where they used to play when they were little and everything seemed so easy. Alvin had believed that coming back here would help them break the silence, help them talk this issue out. But nothing had changed. The two chipmunks had remained as stoic as they had been at the doctor's office.

Alvin's eyes closed, trying once again to shut him away from the world. It didn't work. If anything it made it worse. The darkness behind his eyelids became a movie screen showing everything he had left behind when he decided to try and change.

"I don't regret it." Alvin spoke for the first time in hours. Eleanor jumped, not expected the sound. She turned toward him, her face was open, eyes wide and mouth agape.

"Regret what?" She whispered.

"Changing." He answered. "I was sick of what I was doing. I wanted to stop and smell the roses. But…not every rose…" He looked at her, a small ounce of humor coming into his eyes. "If you know what I mean." Eleanor looked down, still listening to him. "I'm glad I'm no longer sleeping around. I want…stability." He tentatively put his hand on hers. She didn't move. "I don't regret anything that I've changed about my behavior." He looked at her again, trying to find some clue of her thoughts. She didn't move. She didn't speak. Several moments passed and Alvin was about to force her face up to look at him. "Talk to me. Please." His voice was becoming anxious.

"Do you miss it?" Her voice was still quiet. He cocked his head.

"Which 'it'?"

"Sex." She looked at him. Her eyes were blocked off from emotion. Alvin felt nervous suddenly.

"All the time." He told her honestly. Eleanor smirked half-heartedly.

"Yeah…" She whispered.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"What?"

"What do you mean by 'yeah'?" He asked.

"Just…" Eleanor shook her head. She wasn't sure she meant anything by it. "I don't know. I guess I wouldn't really know but…that's got to be tough. Not able to get anything of something that you had so much of before." She looked at him, her eyes softening into a sweet glow. Alvin's eyelids twitched upward.

Is she hinting at something? Oh man…is she…

"Do you want to go home?" He asked her. She looked outside.

"It is getting pretty late."

He nodded and turned to the steering wheel. He stuck his keys into the ignition and turned. The car came to life, the headlights shooting out and illuminating the park. Just as he was shifting the vehicle into reverse he saw Eleanor lean toward him. A pair of lips touched him on the cheek. He looked at her as she pulled away. Even in the darkness he could see her blushing.

"Thank you for defending me back there." She whispered. He smiled at her.

"Not a problem." He said. "Thank you for the same."

Alvin drove out of the parking lot, down the road and toward the Miller household. Their house was only a mile away, an easy walk for them for when they made frequent trips to the park. The air in the car had changed significantly. Even thought they hadn't settled much it felt that the simple process of talking made it better. They were both able to enjoy the silence instead of fear it.

Alvin looked at the sidewalks and trees as they went, remembering his and Ellie's friendship as it was when they were young. He couldn't remember a time when he felt so close to her. He couldn't remember a time when he felt this close to…any girl. Even the illusion of thinking Brittany was his soul mate was simply that, an illusion. In reality no girl had been able to get through Alvin's shell so thoroughly. He didn't resent her for it. Quite the contrary.

The familiar driveway appeared before he was ready for it to. He suddenly didn't like the idea of her going home. He didn't want to end their time together. Even though they would most likely be seeing each other again tomorrow.

Eleanor turned to him, her expression tender. "Want to walk to me to my door?"

Is that an invitation? Holy crap.

Alvin swallowed, his thoughts making his ability to form words difficult. "Certainly." He said, shutting off the car and getting out. Eleanor followed, shutting the door behind her and walking up the front lawn. He came along beside her, his hands joined behind his back. They walked up the steps and reached her front door when Eleanor turned back around and looked at the driveway.

"No one's home. Not surprising I guess." Ellie looked at him and smiled, her fingers beginning to fidget with the keys in her hand. "I'm here alone usually."

Oh my god. This is actually happening… Eleanor is dropping hints every five seconds. Does she actually want…that? Alvin swallowed and looked into her eyes. I…might as well find out.

Alvin moved forward, his body nearly touching hers. "Ellie…"

She looked at him tenderly, her eyes melting. "Alvin?" She whispered back. He moved again, wrapping himself around and bringing her close. His face came down into her neck and he inhaled slowly. She gasped, feeling the softness of his motion. His hands tightened on her back, moving up and down.

Eleanor's eyes fluttered open, feeling the sudden urgency in his movements. For the first time since they had strengthened their relationship Eleanor felt a wave of discomfort from Alvin's affection. He brought his hands to her bare arms and slid his fingertips down their length, all the way down to her hands. She shivered, enjoying the feeling yet wondering what else was going on.

"Alvin…" Her voice came out almost like a plea. Alvin's lips found her neck and pressed against it. Ellie gasped again. Exhilaration and fear broke out across her body. She trembled against his body, not wanting to protest or allow him to continue. Alvin's hands returned to her back and slid downward. The small of her back burned in response to his touch. A pressure on the back of her belt sent her reeling, shooting her into a place in her mind where her choices were easily laid out in front of her. His hand progressed, down, and down to land and rest on her backside. "Stop…"

Alvin froze, wondering if he had heard correctly. He inched his face away from her neck, his lips still moist from his kissing. He looked at her and was surprised to see a spark of unease in her.

"What?" He asked softly.

"I don't…" She pushed against him, trying to make more distance between them. "This is uncomfortable." Alvin looked confused.

"Don't you want this?" He asked. She trembled again, her head reacting in sudden jerks.

She shook her head. "No. Not like this."

Alvin felt as if his head was being squeezed with a clamp. His eyes hurt, his mouth going dry. What…had just happened?

He pulled away from her, creating a sizeable space between them. "Not like this?" He whispered. She looked at him. Her mouth opened to speak but nothing came out. It shut, then opened again with the same result. Neither of them spoke. Alvin's mind raced with thoughts that ranged from every emotion he had ever felt. Nothing made sense.

"What do you want from me, Eleanor?" Alvin spoke with a hint of a hiss in his voice. Her expression took on a touch of confusion and worry. "You…" Alvin looked away from her, down at the porch, at the door, at his feet, anywhere but her. "You come to me and…" His hands came up and cupped his face. He was humiliated, angry, shocked, depressed. This hit home. A home he seemed to not know he had.

"Alvin." She muttered, wondering if she should approach him.

"What are you?!" His voice came out in a roar. His hands flew from his face. Daggers flew from his eyes. "You tell me that I'm ruining my life…that I'm not doing anyone any good with how I treat others…that I need to change…" He began walking, pacing back and forth, his eyes never leaving her. "You become the one I can trust, the one I tell everything to. You're my friend…my goddamn best friend!" His teeth were bared, the animal side of him coming to the surface. "I feel more for you than I ever have for anyone! You flirt with me as easily as breathing! And finally when you drop hints like flies you rip all of it away by saying no?!"

"Alvin…" Eleanor's hands came over her ears. She had never been able to stand yelling and this was breaking her heart open.

"No! You!" He jabbed a finger toward her. "You!" He couldn't think. He couldn't believe what was happening. Everyone he hoped for…everyone he trusted to be there for him was leaving. He couldn't rely on any female to support him. "How can you possibly preach to me about being in a relationship when everywhere I go I meet girls who just want to sleep around, are idiots, or…" He glared at her. "Are teases!"

"I didn't…please Alvin…"

"What?! What could possibly be said to me that could make any of this make sense?!"

"I want to be with you!" Eleanor cried.

"Bullshit." Alvin spat. "Complete bullshit."

"Alvin please let me say this!" Eleanor was pleading, her chest felt like it had been stabbed through. Her cheeks were dripping with tears. Alvin, miraculously, found in himself to be quiet. "Alvin I've always wanted to be with you…" She swallowed, trying to find the right words in this fragile moment. "What you did…how you touched me…" She was gasping for air, fighting to get everything out before she lost her chance. "I've always wanted you to. But the way you did that—"

"Excuses. That's all you have? Reasons you pulled away while trying to keep me near you? You are so much like the other girls Eleanor. What is it exactly? Do you want to use me? Do you want a popularity boost and think to get that by hanging around me? What the hell is wrong with you?! What kind of manipulative bitch are you?!" He shouted, sending her against the wall, covering her ears again. "This is enough. I'm not going to stick around and get hurt again."

Eleanor launched herself forward. She was on him, her hands on his face, her body pushing him against the porch pillar. "Alvin…you know me." She breathed. He looked at her, surprised by what she'd done. "You know me. You know that I would never use anyone. If you knew me at all you would know I would never use you." Alvin blinked, his anger appearing to return. "I want you Alvin." Alvin's expression dropped in hostility with warning. "I want you." Her fingers gently moved across his cheeks, taking in the texture of him.

Alvin watched her. He studied her eyes, her body, her breath, her movements. He drank her in and he found himself unable to speak. The pain continued to radiate from his heart, making it impossible to move. Alvin's eyes looked away from her, trying in vain to hide himself. He shook his head, trying to rid himself of encumbering thoughts. His mind was racing, trying to find solitude somewhere deep inside him.

When Alvin spoke it seemed to be someone else's voice. He had no plan to say what he did. And even when it was spoken he wished that he could take it back. But it was something that you could not easily change. The pain he felt in humiliation and rejection now was nothing compared to saying this:

"You're not worth it."

*****

Theodore was running. Running as quickly as his chubby little legs could carry him. His car had stupidly been forgotten back at his house and by the time his panicked mind remembered he could drive he was already half-way to the Millers' house. He pulled out his phone again and clicked on the text that had been sent to him a few minutes ago from Eleanor.

9-1-1

In their relationship they had established a long time ago that if either of them sent that particular message it was severe. In this case, get to Eleanor as quickly as a chipmunk could run. He was perspiring so heavily that he knew he'd look horrendous when she saw him. But with any luck she'd be too distraught with whatever to care about that.

Theodore nearly stopped when he realized what he'd just thought. Ugh…how could he ever want her to be hurting in any way? That was awful…and this was awful! What the heck was going on?

The stubby chipmunk turned the corner and finally saw the house. He continued to run, catching sight of the driveway and seeing that no one was home. He ran up the lawn, up the steps, and finally pounded his fist against the door. There was no answer. He pounded again and again but no one came. He called out her name, hoping for some sort of response. Theodore felt a vibration in his pocket and he quickly reached for his phone.

Come in

The chipmunk reached for the doorknob and found it unlocked. He let himself in, his eyes flying everywhere to find his best friend. Immediately he heard something and he quieted his breathing to listen. It was sobbing.

Theodore barreled up the staircase toward Eleanor's room. The door was open slightly when he got there and finally the boy slowed his pace. Moving quickly now might upset her more. At least…he thought so right now in his hectically racing mind. He stepped inside, brushing the door open more and looking inside.

Eleanor was lying on her bed, her back facing the doorway. She was shaking, her breathing ragged and quick through her crying. Her arms were wrapped around herself, as if trying to relive a hug that she wanted to have again.

Theodore stepped forward, his heart beating erratically from the running and from seeing the girl he loved so upset. Without wondering if it was socially acceptable and without worrying about possibly scaring her he went up to her and lay on her bed next to her, curving his body into spooning position. She didn't jump in surprise, nor did she pull away. She welcomed him, pushing back to feel his body against her and placing her hand on his arm that was around her waist. Theodore rested his forehead against her hair, trying his best to calm her down, to make her feel better.

Eleanor did not move away from him at all. If anything she pushed into him more, something he enjoyed immensely. Theodore didn't move either, out of fear of upsetting her some how and out of wanting to be respectful of her predicament.

"I-I'm sorry." She finally said through her tears.

"What?" He answered.

"I'm s-sorry for asking you to come here. I just…" She inhaled shakily. "Didn't want to be alone." She felt his head shake back and forth.

"Stop it. If I didn't want to be here I wouldn't be. I want to help you. Alright?" He spoke firmly, but comfortingly. She nodded, telling him she understood. He held her tighter, reassuring her of his loyalty and closeness to her.

"T-thank you…Teddy." Saying his name felt good. It had been days since they had spoken in person, a new record for them, and having him here with her like this meant more to her than anything else now.

"Ellie…" Theodore needed to get her talking. The best way for her to get over her issue was to talk about it. "Tell me what happened." Eleanor shuddered. From tears or from her memory of what made her this way, he didn't know. Her hand came up and wiped away tears from her eyes.

Eleanor sat up then, causing his arm to move away from her waist. He immediately missed the contact. She stood up, keeping his back to him. He noticed that he had yet to see her face. A tactic most girls used when they were crying, avoid eye contact because the girl always believed they looked awful when they cried.

"Alvin…" His name cut Ellie's throat, making her cup her face again and begin sobbing. Theodore felt his heart get stabbed from seeing her like this. He stood up and came up behind her, hugging her to him. She turned around and hid her face in his chest. "H-he…he came onto me…" Theodore's eyes went wide, feeling his nerves start to tingle in anticipation of hearing this story. He wasn't sure he wanted to know this. "I told him no. He was too rough, too sexual. He wasn't the tender Alvin that I wanted. He got angry when I pushed him away and…" Eleanor pressed harder into Theodore's chest. "He said…horrible things. He…" She sobbed terribly, wetting his shirt with her tears. She was shaking, vibrating against him in a way that he almost doubted he could hold onto her.

"Ellie…Ellie…" He spoke her name to tell her that he was there, that he loved her, that he wanted her to be happy.

"I didn't…I didn't mean to make him mad."

"Shhh…I know. This is not your fault." He put his hand on the back of her head. She pulled back slightly and finally looked at him, her eyes glistening and tear streaks running down her cheeks.

"But it is! It is!" She crushed her face into him again. "If I hadn't been so stupid, if I hadn't pulled away I could be with him now."

"That is not how you wanted to be with him." Theodore spoke sternly, his patience growing thin with his brother and he seemed to be searching for someway to put him down. "It's his fault for coming onto you too strongly. He should have known better than to do that! You had every right to do what you did Ellie. Don't ever doubt that. You know what you want and you have every right to have it."

She didn't say anything. She continued to shudder with chocked back sobs, but the severity had diminished. She was holding him, seeming to be entirely content with doing so. He held her gently and firmly. He felt her face moving upward, her nose nuzzling into him.

"Teddy…" Her voice resonated into his ears and shivered through him into his heart. His lips found her forehead; he couldn't help having this contact with her. It was agony to be any more distant from her.

"I love you." He didn't know if she could understand how much he meant it, but he had to say it. He had to tell her these words that he knew were the truest thing he'd ever said. "I love you." He kissed her again, tears rising to his eyes. He nuzzled her forehead, relishing at the smooth texture and her scent. She moved against him, lifting her head to look at him. He shut his eyes, blinking away the tears threatening to overflow, and losing sight of her. A pair of lips touched him on the cheek. He looked, and saw…she was so close to him, so tempting, so…completely, utterly, and absolutely everything he wanted.

She retracted her lips from him and pulled away. The pillows of her lips were there, in front of him, teasing him, dropping him into a state of doubt that he feared and elating him to level of incomprehensive bliss. Theodore reached out and touched his lips to hers, joining them together in a manner he had always prayed for, always begged for to any higher source that could hear him. He kissed her, feeling her lips in every way that he could. Their texture, their pout, their length, their taste. He had her there, in the tenderest way he could conceive. And by some miracle, some technique that seemed inconceivable, he felt her kiss him back. She joined him this delicate dance that meant more to him than anything.

She pushed him. Not away, but back, toward her bed with her still connected. He followed her, making her sigh into their union when he held her wet face. The back of his knees felt the edge of her bed and she continued to make him retreat, sending him down onto the mattress. She never disconnected. She stayed with him, coming to lay on top of him and running her fingers through his hair. He moaned, feeling her movements and feeling her body against his. He opened his mouth and her tongue slipped inside, deepening their bond onto a plane that he never knew could feel this way. Their tongues frolicked together in a harmonized dream, both of them completely losing where they were. Forgetting the time, the place, and only knowing the feeling.

Theodore removed his lips, lowered his mouth to her neck and kissed her tenderly down the middle. When he reached the base he returned up to the top and went down the side, down toward her shoulder. Eleanor sighed in pleasure, her body only knowing the tingle of adoration she felt now.

"A-Alvin…" The voice that had created such joy and heavenly radiance through Theodore now stabbed him through his entire body. Everything stopped. Theodore's lips slid away from her neck, Eleanor's voice cutting off in her throat. Both of their eyes were open, neither of them truly seeing what was in front of them. Neither of them knowing what would happen to them now. Neither of them, really, wanting to know.

Eleanor was the first to react. She got off of him and slowly stepped back, back, and back against the wall. She hit the solid surface with her back and slid down, hitting the floor in a seated position. Theodore sat up, his hands coming into his lap and his eyes looking down.

The two were more similar than could be measured. Both feeling hopeless, both with tears in their eyes, both sitting and thinking in the unknown, both dressed in the green that made them unique, special, and so much like each other from the very beginning. But even now, at the most painful of times between them, right after their most intimate moment of their relationship, they were together, but always apart.

"I'm sorry." Eleanor's whisper touched Theodore's ears weakly, as if the statement had hoped it wouldn't be loud enough to reach him. He didn't say anything. He knew what she was doing, and once again she was putting blame in the wrong person. "I'm sorry."

"Stop it." He spoke surely, sending a crescendo of his strength through her. Theodore looked at her and saw her for what she was in that moment. She was broken. She had been rejected by the one she wanted, and feared being left again by the one she had with her now. Theodore couldn't see her like this, no matter what had just happened. He had to try to help her.

The boy got off the bed and went down to his hands and knees, crawling toward her. He sat next to her, their shoulders touching. She hesitated for several seconds before she laid her head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry…" She said again, but this one was different. He knew what she meant. She was sorry that she didn't feel the same for him that he felt for her. She was sorry that she couldn't be what he wanted.

"Don't be." He waited to see her reaction, wondering if she'd try to say anything else. "I'm not mad. I'm proud of you." He felt her blink in disbelief. "I'm serious. Even now, after all of this has happened to you tonight you are still clear on what you want. Even now, in the middle of what anyone would call a rebound opportunity you are still aware of where your heart is." Theodore set his forehead on top of her hair. A sad part of him knew that that kiss would be their last. No matter how much he could hope otherwise he knew that he'd be doing her an injustice by getting in the way of her being with who she wanted.

"I don't want to lose you." She whispered. Theodore chuckled for the first time.

"You'll never lose me Ellie." She looked up at him, her sorrow still apparent in her expression. "I promise." He saw the corners of her mouth twitch. He knew she believed him.

"Teddy…"

"Hmm?"

"What if…he doesn't come around? What if this was it for us?" She was serious. Her fear that Alvin would never be the man she knew he could be, the mature, responsible, honest, and trustworthy person she'd always wanted and seen in him.

"I don't know." Theodore answered honestly. Ellie lay against him again, feeling the tears returning. The room fell quiet then and Theodore wondered what else he could say. What would happen if Alvin never came for her? Never realized that he had wronged her? What would happen to her…

Theodore looked down at her and saw that her eyes were closed, her face relaxed. She was asleep. He sighed and laid his head back against the wall. His mouth opened again to speak.

"I love you Ellie…"

*****

Chapter 10. Different twist on this one, huh? Let me know your thoughts, PLEASE REVIEW!!!