"You're kidding me right?" Ellen said as she sat with Dean.

"Oh no, perfectly serious, his job over me…but I am not surprised".

Ellen shook her head with a deep sigh. "You two are…I don't even know how to explain it but ever since you have arrived and been with him in every way possible, he's changed, he's different…I don't understand why he would choose that over you".

Dean shrugged as he sipped his drink feeling bitter and slightly angry now, he left him several hours ago and had no word since.

"You should go see him again, get a definite answer or I can go for you".

"No, no I'll go I have a few things to say to him".

Castiel was sat staring into nothing at the back of the church waiting for the return of Zachariah, who would no doubt be back for answers and redemption. The door did open and he sighed as he saw it was Dean; he turned back and looked at the wall.

"Nothing to say?" Dean called. "Let me guess, made your decision already?"

"I'm sorry" he muttered and looked up at him as Dean shook his head and looked at him angrily.

"I mean after everything! Really, what did you say to me the other day?"

"I told you I love you and don't you say I didn't mean it because I did!"

"Oh yeah you love me that much you are leaving me for this shitty job?" he shouted at him.

"Why won't you listen to me?"

Dean stood in front of him. "Oh I am and I do not understand you! Say you chose me okay, what is so scary about that? Okay you would lose your job and shit like that but wouldn't it even be worth it a tiny bit?"

Cas stood up and looked him in the eye.

"Dean I was forced into this job and I hated I had no freedom of choice but I accepted it and it became my life, imagine just for one moment you had something your whole life and then something comes along and snatches it away completely…you have no idea what to do, where to go, what to do with your life because it's always been there…that's how it is for me".

"What, something like a job or maybe a parent for example! Something that was taken away from you so dramatically that as a little boy you had no idea what you were going to do without them but you accepted the change in time and learnt to deal with it!"

"It's not the same…"

"Bullshit! You are so afraid of change aren't you? So frightened that you stick with this job because it makes daddy proud and you feel safe!" he shouted at him, Castiel looking away feeling that anger peak inside him as he clenched his fists.

"I am not afraid! I am being reasonable; I am doing what I must! Do you really think I want to do this!"

"You fucking tell me because I don't understand it!"

Castiel turned away from him as he pushed back his anger and frustration, he had always hated confrontations. The silence stretched between them till it became unbearable.

"What am I meant to do? You choose the job, what about me…what do I do"

"You live your life without me".

Dean nodded and then a thought occurred to him as he turned him back around to face him and stood close so they were inches apart.

"So I go back to how was I before you… I am going to need a brand new relationship then and since I can't have the one person I truly want, I am going to have to find a new woman or…a man".

Castiel swallowed hard at the thought and nodded at him.

"I would expect you to do that".

"Oh, really? Wow, let me go so easily I guess…okay so imagine for one moment will you, I find a new man and I really like him, I let him talk to me and chat me up, I let him touch me, kiss me, wrap his arms around me and claim me, and…".

Castiel was breathing hard now as he backed away shaking his head. "Shut up Dean, just stop it".

"I let him take me and maybe I don't know perhaps I might fall in love with him in time and forget all about you!" Dean shouted as he dragged him back towards him, Castiel glaring at him.

"Shut up!"

"I can see it hurts, it's in your eyes and I can see that anger and jealousy inside you waiting to explode! But that is what will happen Cas, I won't be there forever! Maybe I will find someone who will love me like you do, kiss me like you do, have sex with me and all that drama along with it".

Castiel pushed him away angrily. "Why are you doing this?"

"I am showing you the fucking truth! I will find someone else Cas, it won't be you but who knows, I might find some happiness!"

"Then you know what Dean, go fucking do it!".

Dean's eyes widened surprised as Castiel glared at him before walking away and back to his office slamming the door behind him. Dean shook his head and followed him in as he threw open the door with a bang, Castiel who had tears in his eyes looking at him furiously.

"Problem is, I don't want anyone else! What the hell have you done to me! I have never in all my life fell for someone so hard and so fast, it takes me months and months before I feel what I feel for you, you bastard!"

"What have I done to you? I was fine before I met you! You came into my life out of nowhere, wanted to help out and I was so scared, I mean look at you…you're gorgeous, you are mind blowing and it had to be you didn't it! If you had never come into my life, this would have never happened".

Dean leaned against the door and looked at him as contemplated his words, Castiel rubbing away a tear that fell out.

"If I never came into your life then you would be still trapped in a circle of depression and loneliness that you would never escape and you probably be a complete mess right now and you know what, you are heading back down that bloody path!".

"That is my decision, I will be fine, I have dealt with it all my life!"

"You are a such a bad liar, you are terrified of that happening again…that loneliness in the morning, that empty space in your bed and heart forever, never being filled with a woman because your gay and no man because it's a sin and forbidden for you".

Cas looked away from him as an ache filled him and he pushed away the sadness and accepted the anger instead as he looked up at him.

"I have made my decision because it is the right thing to do! I accept my fate because I deserve it, I was wrong!"

"You regret us?".

His silence confirmed it and Dean pushed himself off the door and narrowed his eyes at him.

"You have got to be kidding me, you…you actually regret it all?"

"I went into this completely blind to my actions, this is fate and karma Dean, and they are catching up on us".

Furious with him he couldn't help himself as he walked up to him and shoved him against the wall angrily.

"You're a liar!"

"Really? I am a liar now, what if you just can't accept the truth about this all!"

Dean was breathing hard as he tightened his hold on him and they stared into each other's eyes, anger matching anger.

"Alright, you regret us but I don't…so let's play on that attraction and feelings shall we, let's see the real you and the truth" he whispered breathing hot air in his ear as he grabbed the back of his neck and kissed him hard enough that it would of bruised if it could.

All anger and emotion flooded into it as Castiel couldn't help but kiss him back just as hard as Dean pushed him on to his desk pushing the papers and other items off as they undressed each other till they were fully naked. .

Dean grabbing the back of his hair and tugging it hard to expose his neck as he bit down and kissed him. Cas gasping loudly and narrowing his eyes at him as teeth and tongue scraped across his skin leaving another bruising mark.

"Bastard" Castiel muttered as Dean looked down at him and tugged his hair again tilting his head back, the pain and pleasure of it making him groan. Dean kissed him again and gasped when Castiel bit down on his bottom lip and tugged at it as he cocked his head and smirked.

Dean pulled him closer to him and prepared him as he slid a finger inside him and watched as Cas bit his lip and closed his eyes.

"Oh no you don't, open your eyes" he muttered as they flashed open again as Dean slid a second widening him enough for entry, the blue flaring in his eyes as he groaned in time.

Dean widened Cas' legs more and slid inside him as Castiel dragged his fingers down his back leaving marks and drawing some blood as he thrusted hard into him and he groaned and looked at him surprised.

"Oh look here he is, little devil when you want to be".

Castiel clutching him hard as anger poured out into Dean's thrusts inside him as he panted with desperation and pent up anger he still felt deep in his core as they were chest to chest and sweat mingled together as one.

Dean moving to his shoulder as Castiel panted in his ear and moved to kiss it gently as he tugged and bit it.

Dean moving as he gripped the back of his hair hard as he looked into his eyes and he moaned as Castiel shifted underneath him and Dean went deeper inside, his feet digging into his back and fingers trailing down his arms.

Dean slamming his hand down on the desk as he continued his pace and felt his muscles and everything contracting and feel like it was on fire with ache as he cummed hard inside him, his climax continuing as he shouted loudly against his throat. Dean reaching down and grabbing Cas' weeping cock and tugging it hard until moments later Castiel climaxed with a yell, cumming into his hand and all over both of them.

The anger slipping slowly away as they held on to each attempting to catch their breath and Dean closing his eyes as he knew deep down that was goodbye, despite it being full of anger, frustration and most of all passion. Castiel trembling slightly as Dean pulled out of him and turned his back as he got dressed; he felt the ache already from Dean's angry and fast thrusts inside him and knew it would take full effect later.

"That's why you're a liar…how long will it take before that desire and that need kicks in again Cas? You know you don't truly regret it or you wouldn't have let me take you on your desk" he muttered as he pulled his t-shirt back on looking at the mess on the floor and back to Castiel who was dressing himself.

"Heat of the moment" he muttered as Dean scoffed amused.

"Yeah, right".

"You want to know what the biggest sin of all is?"

"What?"

"We've just had sex in a church".

Castiel glared at him as Dean smirked amused.

"That's not your biggest mistake though Cas, your biggest is throwing this away before it had a chance to really start, it's killing me right now knowing that after this, when we walk away from each other that I can never kiss you again or do what we've just done over and over again".

Castiel looked away from him as tears filled his eyes. "Stop making this so hard…"

"What do you want me to do? Say okay and just walk away, I'm telling you the truth here Castiel whether you like it or not".

The silence beat between them as Dean took a deep breath and nodded to himself.

"One last thing before I walk away and leave you…do you truly love me?"

Castiel felt his heart shatter as he looked at him through tear filled eyes. "I love you".

Dean smiled sadly to himself as he looked away and he blinked away the tears that he could feel at the back of his eyes.

"That's really shit you know despite it meant to be a supposedly happy feeling…I want you to know I love you too".

Dean closed his eyes with a sigh as he walked over to him and looked down at him as he shook his head sadly.

"I really hope you don't regret this but I have a feeling you might in time, I'll carry on hoping or do as you wish and move on".

Pain shattered through him at Dean's words as he slowly shook his head.

"No, don't move on just yet".

Dean laughed grimly and nodded. "Maybe not so soon, give me time to get over you first".

Castiel felt like protesting then and saying never get over him but he looked down at the floor in silence.

"A shitty job over me, my ego has taken a real knock here" he joked as he stepped away from him and went to walk out, but Castiel grabbed his hand and pulled him back.

"Kiss me once more? Please" he pleaded and Dean bit his lip considering before nodding and leaning towards him as he gently kissed him and let all emotion in to it, as he slid his tongue in and deepened the kiss. Castiel groaning low into his mouth as Dean stroked the side of his face tenderly before parting and leaning his forehead against his.

"Bye Cas" he whispered as his voice broke and he hurried out the room. Castiel letting the tears fall without regret or hesitation as Dean left the church covering his mouth in horror as he went back to Ellen's.

~0~

"Castiel?" Zachariah called and waited until Castiel came into the church looking red eyed and looking at him in contempt.

"You made the right decision I hope?"

"The relationship is over and Dean will not be bothering me again".

Zachariah smiled coldly and clapped his hands together once.

"Fantastic! I am proud of your decision to end this deceit and abomination, but my trust in you has gone so you will be watched Castiel, not by me of course, but my men who will report back to me if they see anything do you understand?"

Castiel nodded slowly as Zach smiled again.

"Excellent! Now no more slip ups and giving into temptation, I suggest you go and read the bible for a good while Castiel, really look into it and pray for forgiveness, do you understand and agree?".

"Yes".

"Good…now I must be getting back…but I warn you now, you so much as spend any time or be with him alone again Castiel, I will fire your ass and report you! Your life will be over" he muttered as Castiel swallowed and nodded watching him leave and slamming the door behind him as he slid down it and inhaled deeply, he could still smell the remains of Dean's aftershave, sex and sweat mixed together on his skin and clothes and he clung on to it.

Zachariah closed the door of the driver's seat and looked towards one of his closest friends and helpers.

"He is still head over in heels in love with that…man! I could see the mark on his neck and rumpled clothes after sex with him…he is pure evil!"

"What do you intend to do with him?"

"It's clear Castiel will have a massive problem controlling himself around him and he will let it happen again, maybe not now but in time when that desire kicks in, Dean is evil, a corrupter and a sinner…he must be stopped".

"How?"

"By what we did last time this happened".

The helper frowned in confusion. "That man died last time".

"But he was cured and so be it, if Dean dies then it is for the greater good, rid the world of the little whore don't you think!"

The helper grinned at him as he started the car and Zachariah smiled coldly as they drove out the village.

Ah the reviews are so helpful, they give me ideas! so please review this, thank you!