If Time Could Stop
Chapter 10
The Ministry had to plan another formal dance. Hermione was growing tired of it. Being an employee there meant that her presence was required. She usually enjoyed such events but it was becoming ridiculous! Really, did they have to make such a big deal out of everything? It was just a new fountain to decorate the entrance, for goodness sake! Why would someone celebrate an occasion like that? But her eyes travelled to Ron and her heart fluttered. He looked so handsome in his formal robes and she couldn't keep her eyes off him. Her hand caressed his arm tenderly and he turned to her with a confused smile.
"What is it?"he asked her.
"Nothing, you just look very stylish tonight, that's all."she explained and saw him blush.
"You look great too."he said simply.
As much as she had hoped to put the drama of the previous week behind her, it was hopeless. Although her reaction had been casual, she couldn't help but feel ambushed when she'd realised Severus Snape was seated at the table next to theirs. Being a gentleman, he hadn't made any move to reveal his annoyance but there were moments, she felt, he was staring daggers at her. She'd made no attempt to speak to him and neither had he. They had simply bowed their heads in acknowledgement of each other's presence and that was that.
"Why is Snape sitting over there all by his lonesome?"Harry asked, approaching his friends, dragging Ginny along with him.
"Everyone is dancing, that's why he's on his own. He doesn't look like the type who likes to dance."Ron said.
"Yeah but you could have told him to sit with you."Harry protested and before Hermione could stop him, he turned to Snape and said "Care to join us, sir?"
"I am perfectly fine right here, Potter."Severus replied.
"Nonsense!"Harry retorted and let go of Ginny's hand to rush over and grab Snape by the arm. "Unpleasant as you may find our company, it's definitely better than sitting here alone. Come on!"he said and almost forced Severus to join their table. Hermione flinched as Harry pulled back a chair for Snape.
"Good evening, sir!"Ginny and Ron said at once.
"You would think so, wouldn't you?"he told them.
At that point, Mafalda Hopkirk approached.
"How are you all doing?"she asked cheerfully.
Pleasantries were exchanged by all, except Severus, of course, who remained silent in his seat.
"Say, Mafalda, where is your date?"Ron asked.
"Oh, he was called away on business! Us Ministry employees can't help but answer the call of duty!"she said, chuckling, which lead Hermione to believe that Mafalda might have had a bit too much to drink.
"That simply won't do!"Ron exclaimed and getting up, he offered Mafalda his arm. "Care to dance, miss Hopkirk?"
"Now, Ronald, don't go killing the poor woman's feet!"Hermione jested.
"Leave the man alone!"Mafalda replied in good humour and took Ron's arm. "Lead the way, Mr. Weasley! If it is for the pleasure of your company, my feet can handle the pressure just fine!"she told him and they disappeared inside the crowd occupying the dancefloor.
"Should we follow their example?"Ginny asked Harry and he agreed, following in the footsteps of his friend.
Hermione felt uncomfortable, sitting across Severus, knowing that she couldn't sit there silently and ignore him. He was his usual self, scowling and looking generally bored. She wondered if he was feeling the same way she did. Had they been alone in the room, she would have reached for his hand. Given their predicament, it seemed best that they were surrounded by people.
"You look quite charming."she told him, unable to stop herself.
"I don't expect you to make small talk, Granger. You may as well pretend that I'm not here."he said.
"You don't strike me as the type who would enjoy such gatherings."she continued, despite his rudeness.
"I was forced to attend this event."he mumbled. "I don't plan on making a habit of taking part in festivities."
"Forced?"
"Potter kept bothering me until I agreed to show up."he said looking disgusted.
"I see."she commented and left it at that, turning to look at the dancers.
"Do you enjoy dancing?"Severus asked.
"Very much!"she told him and a hopeful smile lit up her face.
"I'm not going to ask you to dance, Granger, so wipe that smile from your face. I was just curious."
"Of course, I know."she replied but her heart sank.
"How are the preparations for the wedding coming along?"Severus asked simply to remind her of their situation.
"Everything is going fine. Thank you for asking!"
"Good."he spat. He hadn't been able to stop stealing glances at her all night and it made him mad. Hermione Granger, soon to be Weasley, he thought. Never forget that.
The music suddenly stopped and a voice sounded across the room, announcing that it was time to reveal the fountain. Everybody started walking to the entrance and Ron made his way back to the table to fetch Hermione.
"I've already seen it, Ron. I'd rather not join you, if that's okay."she said apologetically and he replied that it was. He kissed her cheek and went along with the others.
"Aren't you going to take a look at the fountain?"she turned to Severus but he wasn't there.
Hermione sighed. He was right to flee, she reckoned. The pressure was too much. She calculated that it would take about an hour before everyone came back and decided to retreat to the safety of her office, in order to clear her head. She would feel much more relaxed and sheltered in the company of her books, she thought as she opened the door, not bothering to turn the lights on. The moon wasn't that bright but the light it shed through the window was enough to help her find her way and not bump into her desk.
"Can't I get a moment's peace?"growled a familiar voice and Hermione let out a little shriek.
"Severus?"she whispered.
"Who else?"he said, stepping out of the shadows and in front of the window. The pale moonlight made him look eerie and frightening but Hermione was just too happy to find him there. If she was being honest with herself, she'd hoped that she could have some time alone with him ever since she found out he was in the same building with her.
"What are you doing in my office?"she asked him.
"Hiding, apparently."he said, his head bowed slightly.
"In my office?"she asked again.
"Well, I couldn't go sneaking into a stranger's office, could I?"he snapped at her.
"Is that the only reason?"she inquired once more, making her way to his side.
"I don't like to be questioned."he told her.
"Of course, you don't. The mystery surrounding you would disappear, should you answer any questions."
"I don't put an effort into seeming mysterious."Severus said. "That is your idea of me and I have done nothing to reinforce it."
"Let's stop playing with words, Severus. It's rather childish and I would hate to treat you like a child."she said playfully, mimicking his own tone when he'd said the same thing to her.
"Are you drunk?"he asked her, surprised by the way she was smiling to him.
"No."she shook her head and then, gently placed her forehead on his chest, making no other move to touch him in any other way. "I just missed you."
"Let's not throw caution to the wind, Granger."Severus said, pleased by the closeness of her body, making no move to touch her either but not exactly willing to break contact.
"Let's."Hermione said unpretentiously, surprising herself and raised her eyes to look into his.
"This isn't like you."He tried to listen to his mind screaming at him to be careful.
"Aren't you tired?"she asked him, her eyes full of pain. "Aren't you tired of holding back? I know I am! I know I should stop thinking about you but I can't bring myself to do it! And it's wearing me out." She stopped and took a deep breath. "Tell me this is wrong! Tell me to stop!"
Severus sighed. "This is wrong. You have to stop."he repeated, as ordered.
"I can't."Hermione whispered and allowed her hands to run up his chest, climb behind his neck and pull him just a little closer.
Severus kept his hands to his sides, thinking she would snap out of her romantic dream soon enough and pull herself away. But she didn't. "I do love you."she told him and he felt the last remnants of restrain slowly fade away.
"Hermione, you must stop this."he said again so they could both hear it. But Hermione gaped at him, dazed by the way he'd pronounced her name for the very first time. Crack, her heart went. Crack, crack, crack, falling apart at the seams, sucked into a whirlwind, a universe where no one existed in the world besides the two of them and she didn't have to hold back any longer. She knew it was an illusion but it felt so real! And she was afraid that the spell would be broken soon.
"This is your last chance to kiss me."she whispered, pleading and let one of her hands creep slowly on his jaw which clenched at her touch.
Severus knew how wrong the entire situation was. But she was whispering to him and her voice carried with it promises that he was sure neither of them could keep. He kept his hands where they were; he wouldn't claim something that could never be his.
"Severus? Did you hear me? This is your –our last chance!"her voice begged, on the verge of tears. "If you don't do it now..."she tried to go on but his lips crashed into hers and there was no need for words.
Hermione felt her body melt and her heart swell. She would later try to remember the details of that kiss but she'd be overwhelmed by emotion. She tried pulling his arms into an embrace and he refused wordlessly, never letting their mouths part. She realised her back was resting against the window and a slight chill run down her spine. His torso was pressed to hers but his hands wouldn't move from their place. She whimpered and much to her dissatisfaction, he pulled several steps away. There you go, Hermione, she thought. Spell broken.
"Don't go!"she said.
Severus remained silent, catching his breath and thinking of something to say that could clear the fog in his mind. Something to convince her that he should indeed go, leave the country as he'd originally planned, as far away as possible. It would be the smart thing to do but that kiss had reduced them both to driveling idiots, succumbing to their feelings without so much as a single thought of what the consequences of their action might be, so instead, he told her "I'm not going anywhere". A sigh of relief left her mouth and with that sound, Severus found himself forgetting all his previous reasoning, throwing caution to the wind, easily, as he strode to her, pulling her by the shoulders and indulging in his desire to claim her and kiss her, if only for one night.
A small note flew to Ron as the crowd was being ushered back to the main hall in order to resume their dancing. Ron read it and it flew away again.
"What was that?"Harry asked him.
"Oh, nothing. Hermione's got a bit of a headache and took off. She said we'd talk tomorrow."Ron shrugged and didn't think about it anymore.
A/N: Oh, God... I'm sorry, Ron! (Did you like it?)