I love you guys and I apologize for taking so long. I had to buy a new charger and then found mine, my grandparents were in town and I have been booked but I am not going to lie I have also been pretty damn lazy.

I love you guys as I said and I am sorry, i will try to be better. I can make all these excuses but no matter what i feel bad for making you guys wait so long.

Hopefully this chapter will make up for it.

...

Renesmee*

I walked into class the next morning feeling dropped from my high.

Why? Why would I feel this way after the amazing makeout session that was more an almost sex session?

Because I am about to end it.

I just can't do it. I can't be the freak he wants me to be, especially with my past.

I went home yesterday and was in a total euphoric state and I thought everything was good... Until I went to sleep.

Lately, my nightmares have ceased but last night I dreamt about the worst day of my life. The day he swore to me that he would be my first, that I would bear his child... That I would forever be his.

For the first night in years I woke up and actually cried, hard.

I wanted to be normal so that maybe I could start an abnormal relationship with Mr. Black but my life is just too much to get him involved.

I sat in the back of the class in my regular attire, not Alice's. I wore baggy black sweatpants and a red hoodie with black and red converses.

As soon as I saw Mr. Black walk inside I was taken away. He had this glow to him that I hadn't seen on him. He looked amazing in his gray slacks, crisp white t-shirt and black expensive looking shoes.

His hair look in a disarray as usual but it was absolutely hot on him.

Since this was basically free period and his real classes of honors business and economics didn't start until after this he just told everyone to go grab a book off his bookshelf to read for the hour.

Before he could even speak I made my way back to his office and got on my account. I would try to act as professional as possible because Mr. Black was too hot to ignore and if I don't I will never tell him my opinion.

I was on the laptop starting my new project of finding an ancient and not well known native American tribe and make a power point of the tribe and explain what you believe would have happened to them if they had not been slaughtered, taken over or whatever the circumstances.

I felt his presence even before his lips pecked at my neck.

He whispered in my ear, "so that's the new project huh?"

I just nodded in response.

He stood up and then questioned me, "you okay? You seem quiet."

"yeah I'm fine it's just... Ill tell you after class" I promised and continued to work on my PowerPoint in silence.

It wouldn't be hard, I find in interest in things like this all the time just for free time.

I continued to work and got lost in the tribe and almost jumped out of my seat when the bell rang. Mr. Black walked back into the office and sat next to me closing my laptop as I saved my work.

I sighed as I turned to him. I saw the look on his face that showed worry and it made me feel bad.

"hey, what's wrong?"

Again I sighed, "I can't do this."

I didnt have to explain it was obvious to what I was talking about.

"why?" he asked, not sounding upset more confused.

"I just can't, I have way too much going on in my life right now to get you involved."

"ohhh kay" he said weirdly and before I knew it he picked me up turned me around and kissed my lips passionately, begging me with his lips not to let us go.

I don't see why it matters I mean we were basically just a no strings attached thing anyway.

I didn't want him to stop, his lips were setting a passion in my body that couldn't be explained. Without my permission I wrapped my arms and around his neck and jumped up wrapping my legs around his waist.

I was unintentionally grinding on him and then like magic I remembered what I had to do and I jumped down and lightly pushed him back.

He had a face that said he was upset with my decision but his eyes showed he was more lustful than upset.

"is this really what you want to do?" he asked.

I couldn't speak, my lips were still ablaze so I just nodded.

He opened the door and stood there, the signal of saying, 'you have been dismissed, you are no longer needed so get the fuck out.'

Even though I am the one who made this decision it hurt to see that he hadn't really fought to change my decision. I mean he kissed me but that just makes me believe that this purely a sexual relationship.

I reluctantly walked out of the room and just as I made it past him I turned around and looked him in the eye, "can we still be friends?"

I really hoped he would say yes but another side of me hoped he wouldn't say anything and kiss me once more. Only one more touch of his lips would change my mind.

He gave me a small smile that made me smile. He leaned down and my body warmed up in anticipation, he whispered in my ear, "sure. But I don't think you'll be able to resist for long."

Before I could give my smart remark he pecked my lips and turned around going back into his class.

I stood there at a blank for a few minutes until I felt my face heat up and found the nerves in my legs. I walked away and headed outside by the blossom tree I found myself hanging around whenever I needed to think after a 'me and Mr. Black'session.

I sat down and put my backpack to the side of me. I slowly slid down the tree and just thought about my complicated life.

I don't know why but a tear slid down my face as i thought about everything I have been through.

I have always been so sure of life ever since high school started but now, for the first time in years... I was unsure.

I hated it and more importantly the feeling of being unsure scared me.

….

Omg this chapter just feels short but don't worry because I am finally getting both of my stories more organized so you guys chapter should be up before Easter. I have the next chapter and the next and all of them mapped up until chapter 17 on what I am going to do so be looking out .

And expect your ladies drama.

Love you

LT