The Art of Breathing
Chapter 10: The Tempering
"Everything will change. The only question is growing up or decaying." – N. Giovanni
...
Seven days after Falcon and his partner had guarded Naruto, he and Bear were in Shimoichi. The full moon shone down, spilling a pale light through the window that pooled like blood on the floor.
It was a dream, a memory. He knew this even as he went through the motions. Bear's last out of village mission. Tiger and Sparrow's final mission. Their last mission as a team.
A grim darkness guarded his emerald green eyes, shadows gained through experience and harsh reality.
Something felt off and he was worried. If Captian Tiger and Sparrow didn't return by morning they would have missed rendezvous. Falcon and Bear exchanged heavy looks, and began to prepare for an extraction mission.
He remembered the fear that overcame his heart. They had run a scouting of Tiger and Sparrow's mission area the next morning. And what they had found…
Sparrow's body secreted away in a crumpled heap. Blood pooled and dried around her. Cold, so cold.
Several poisons were in her veins. One that hindered chakra use, an anti-coagulant, another that caused neural damage.
Sparrow had Tiger's body in a storage scroll. The mission scroll was still marked incomplete. The target still lived.
It took them two days to set themselves up without tipping off their prey. That it only took such a short time was because the entire squad had studied and prepared for both missions. The original information didn't include the newly hired team of jônin Grass-nin that had guarded the mark.
Tiger and Sparrow had paid for it.
The prey was hosting a dinner party, the perfect opportunity. Bear lost himself in the anonymous tide of servants hired for the occasion. While Falcon smoothly slipped through the shadows and almost empty side rooms with the economy of movement of an ANBU on the hunt. Spells used judicially to cover any possible slipups.
They quietly circled their prey, and by sunup the mission was completed. Only the target's missing head indicating they were ever there.
His mind was numbed with static. He wanted to wake and escape the relived memories. But on the edge of waking one more memory snared his senses.
Beyond the thick, oily smoke and the ravenous tongues of flame, the charcoaled silhouettes began to crumble to ash. It was standard procedure, but they deserved better.
His eyes snapped opened, silent tears running down his face. The odor of burning bodies was so strong in his mind he could practically taste it. Yuuto barely glanced around his room. He mechanically moved to the kitchen. Hot chocolate this time. It wasn't panic that crushed him tonight, but grief.
Sometimes he was just tired. Tired of everything. But he still had one teammate left. And Andy and Teddy back in England. He even kept in contact with the rookies he trained as well.
The others… they had slowly drifted apart. Since they moved on and he had not. But the irony was; he left England to get away from the constant reminders of war and violence, and yet here he was again.
Yuuto huffed a humorless laugh, clutching the cup in a white-knuckled grip. At least here he wasn't on the pedestal. It was still better than England.
A small frown creased the edge of his lips as he made his way towards a flower shop. He had waited until the sun was well in the sky before leaving his house.
The static of grief dulled to background noise instead of the deafening harshness it had been when he had first woken. But the throbbing ache with each heartbeat remained. Experience had taught him that suppressing it wouldn't help in the long run, and that it was better to mourn and let it go.
So today Yuuto was going to say it with flowers. While he was waiting for a more acceptable time to start the day, Yuuto looked up the flowers with the meanings he wanted. He had nothing else to do and needed the distraction.
Small things helped. Step by step. Minute by minute. Inhale, exhale. Breathe.
One arrangement for the dead and one for the living. Maybe he would take them both to the Memorial Stone, or give one to Iruka. Or maybe he would just take both out to the forest and leave them there. He wasn't sure yet.
As he opened the shop door, a bell rang and a blonde man looked up from a file he was reading.
"Good morning! How can I help you today?"
Yuuto turned towards him, managing to put a soft smile on his face and keep most of the grief out of his eyes.
"I'd like to make two arrangements with some specific flowers please."
"Of course. Do you know which ones you want?"
Green eyes flitted around the shop distractedly before he gave his reply. "Yes, but I'm not sure if you have all of them."
The shopkeeper smiled. "Well, let's find out then."
Yuuto hummed an agreement.
"For the first I'd like the center focus to be rosemary, three stalks please." Remembrance.
"I want the rosemary to be surrounded by campanula, sweetpea, and rainlily." Gratitude. 'You have my thanks'. 'I love you back/ I will never forget'.
Flowers for those who have passed. Hachi, Madoka, Remus, Sirius…
All deep purples, blues, and whites. And so many others, souls passing through like leaves on the wind…
"Bind it with white and black ribbon, please."
The florist wrote it down and Yuuto continued. "For the second arrangement the focus should be phlox." Harmony / 'We think alike'.
"Around that I would like sweetbriar, borage, and a bit of rue to fill it out." A wound to heal. Courage. Sorrow.
This bouquet was bright pink and blue, with just a bit of yellow. "Red ribbon this time," Yuuto requested.
He watched as the shopkeeper put his order together, before paying. Nodding his head to the florist as he left, he made his way to the Memorial Stone.
He stood there for some time after laying down the bouquets. Seeking out the names of his teammates and reminiscing, before scanning through the new names etched into the stone's surface.
Yuuto grimaced to himself when he recognized the names of two of the rookies he mentored. He hadn't been informed of their passing yet. But the names were obviously newly added, so it was likely in the last few days.
He turned away from the monument, sensing an approaching presence. But before he could leave a familiar face recognized him.
The young man's posture straightened and a bit of life entered his light brown eyes. "Yuuto-sempai! You don't visit, you don't write. You should be ashamed of yourself." He said with a crooked grin, throwing his arms wide in the universal sign of 'hug-me-brother'.
Yuuto made no move to step forward, not really comfortable with initiating contact, only opening his arms in reply with a wry smile on his face. He studied the shinobi in front of him. Dark bags under his eyes, slight limp, stiff shoulder, bandages.
"Kazuto-kouhai." Returning the embrace given, Yuuto continued. "I'm sorry for your loss. I just found out when I read their names a few minutes ago, otherwise I would have made a point to find you." Releasing the other but keeping a hand on his shoulder, Yuuto asked "Where is Satori?"
Kazuto inhaled a shaky breath, opening eyes that he had closed while enfolded in Yuuto's arms. "Ah, she's still in the hospital. ICU. We had bad info." Yuuto nodded acknowledgement and they both left it at that. Missions were not meant to be shared.
Yuuto ended up standing at the Stone for a few more hours next to his student, giving silent support. They both made their way back to the main road, Yuuto giving quiet advice on how he endured the grief of losing teammates and friends, before parting ways.
Kazuto and he planned to meet up and visit Satori in the hospital a few days later.
Yuuto spent the rest of the day cleaning his house until it sparkled. He hated cleaning more than necessary due to the way his relative's had forced him to do most of it at their house. But it was something he could do well and had the benefit of being useful, as well as mindless and tiring. He didn't want to think today.
Dawn came swiftly for Yuuto. He unthinkingly went through his morning training routine and obligatory after work out shower.
Chugging down a glass of milk and grabbing a ration bar, he strode out the door.
He needed to get a 'get-well-soon' card for Satori and to go act as support for Kazuto. As he walked purposefully towards a corner store, he noticed several foreign ninja and remembered that Konoha was hosting the Chūnin Exams this time around.
Nine of Iruka's brats were participating, including Naruto. Yuuto made a mental note to watch the third round to see if any of them made it and to visit Iruka throughout the examination period to make sure the man didn't worry himself into meltdown. If he caught Team 7 before they started he might drop some advice. Maybe offer to help train Naruto if he made the third round.
He shrugged that line of thought off as he entered the store and headed straight for the aisle with the greeting cards.
Yuuto browsed through the card section.
Some were too corny, some were too flowery. In the end he picked a pale green card with a bright sapphire butterfly on it. It said some generic line about 'Wishing you a fast recovery', but it would do. He'd just have to add a little personalization to it when he got a hold of a pen.
Yuuto snagged a pastel yellow envelope and made his way to the checkout to pay for the card, eyeing up some candy on display. He grabbed three chocolate bars as well.
Chocolate helped everything after all. Even recovery from dementor attacks.
Just because the Chūnin Exams were being held in Konohagakure didn't mean that missions stopped. So early on the morning of the first exam Yuuto set out on a courier mission to Tanzaku-gai.
It was too bad he would miss watching how the rookie genin fared in the first two exam sections, but he would be back in time to catch the last day of the second exam and the elimination rounds before the third.
After all, he needed to be back for his first day of teaching his year 4 academy students. If he timed it right he would have a day or so before classes started.
He did one last check of his equipment before leaving the gates. Yuuto might not have quite been armed to the teeth, but it was pretty close.
Two full sets of kuni and shuriken, several lengths of razor wire, a handful of smoke bombs, three explosive tags, and a holdover from England, a decoy detonator. And his wand of course, he never took that off.
Not that he was expecting trouble or anything.
He used his moleskin pouch from Hagrid instead of the standard pack, so he might, maybe, have enough gear and supplies to outfit a team of four being hunted behind enemy lines for a month. Maybe.
He wasn't paranoid! He was prepared!
And it's not like he was decked out in camouflage and armor or openly wearing his ANBU tantō or anything like that. He didn't even have his clothing protectively spelled, just his chūnin flak vest…
He chuckled sardonically to himself as he tree hopped southwest in a direct path to his destination. Trees blurred by. It was not quite as exhilarating as a high speed broom race, but tree hopping had its own charm. At this pace he could make it in two days.
He'd be back in Konoha before the end of the week.