Chapter 11

When Elizabeth woke the next morning, she sat in bed for a few minutes, looking out the window at the bright morning sun. Jane had already awoken and, naturally, the blankets on her side of the bed had been pulled smooth. Elizabeth felt heavy and tired. Leaning back against the headboard and closing her eyes, she thought about all the anger and strife and tears that had engulfed her life during the past few days. Suddenly it all seemed so trivial. Was it really worth this? What was she holding out for anyway? No one was going to come along and erase the painful memory, no one was going to make up for it, and Caroline Bingley certainly wasn't going to apologize, or if she did, she certainly wasn't going to mean it. Elizabeth decided that she was ending this mess right now. She would make amends with Charles and forget that this whole fiasco had ever happened. She knew that for some time she would be just going through the motions, but it would keep the peace. She knew that it might seem as if she as admitting defeat and it might not give her the satisfaction of feeling righteous, but at this point, Elizabeth felt that she would rather be happy than right.

Putting her new resolution to be happy to work, Elizabeth focused her attention on the gentleman who was expected to call that morning and ignored her mother who was prattling about broken engagements and her younger sisters who were tiptoeing around her as if she would explode any second. Although she knew she could not expect Mr. Darcy for at least another half an hour, Elizabeth frequently found herself drawn to the window, copying his habit of standing and staring out. It seemed like hours before she saw the horse and rider coming down the lane.

When Mr. Darcy came riding up to Longbourn, he smiled to see Elizabeth standing at the window. As he watched, she raised a hand in greeting and disappeared from view. When he was shown in the drawing room, he was amused to see her studiously stitching a sampler. As he bowed to her mother, he caught her eye and lifted and inquiring eyebrow, but she merely smiled demurely and looked back down at her sewing. Before ho could go over to her, he was accosted by Mrs. Bennet. Although Mr. Darcy had anticipated some unpleasantness from Mrs. Bennet because of the warning in Elizabeth's note, he was still aghast at her blatant mentions of how surprised they were to see him again. When he had finally run out of civil replies to her questions about his intentions, he invited the girls to join him on a walk. Deterred by glares from their mother, Mary and Kitty declined. Jane would not be intimidated, however, and she accepted. The threesome had not taken twelve steps from the house when Hill came running out the say that Miss Jane was needed in the house right away. Watching them walk away, Elizabeth muttered "That woman's middle name should have been Subtle." Assuming she meant her mother and not Hill, Darcy attempted to make her laugh by opening his eyes wide and asking innocently, "Why, whatever do you mean?" He was rewarded with an eye roll and a small chuckle as Elizabeth took his arm and they continued their walk. For a few moments the only sound was the sound of their feet on the leaves and then Mr. Darcy broke the silence, "Elizabeth, beloved, is something the matter. You seem tense this morning and your note yesterday was positively despondent." Elizabeth shifted her shoulders nervously "Everything is fine." When he continued to look at her skeptically, she confessed, "My mother has been more difficult than usual lately. I can't seem to ignore her criticism as easily. I wonder…" She paused, blushing "I wonder if it is because she is criticizing you." Continuing quickly, she added "And I had a fight with Jane last night."

Darcy winced sympathetically, "About Charles?"

She nodded. "It was horrible. We said all these awful things to each other, but as soon as I promised that I would forgive Mr. Bingley, everything was smiles and sunshine. I don't know what to do with that."

"You promised to forgive Charles?"

"Well, I promised to consider it. I had to. As far as I can tell, Jane views my refusal to forgive Charles as an attempt to take him from her, to deny her her happiness with him. She is understandably very vulnerable about the idea of losing him again. I think that is the reason she has sided with him so decidedly. Mr. Bingley is the only thing that Jane has asked for for herself in as long as I can remember and I think she feels that she deserves this. She's right too, she does deserve this. She is always so selfless. How can I deny her this? And that is why I've decided to make peace with Mr. Bingley and forget that this whole fiasco ever happened. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of being angry. I'm only hurting the people around me. Besides, it isn't like it is affecting Miss Bingley at all and she's really the one who caused the trouble to begin with."

She said the last bit quickly, pleading with him to understand why she had to do this. He looked at her solemnly for a moment and then pulled her into his arms "My poor girl. It's awful having to be the adult isn't it?"

Elizabeth relaxed against him. She should have known that he of all people would understand the sacrifices you make for your family. Pulling away slightly, she asked, "But what about you and Mr. Bingley? Have you decided what you are going to do?"

"Yes. I'm going to send him a note today asking him to meet me tomorrow so we can talk about what happened. I'll apologize for being overbearing, and hopefully, he'll apologize for screaming at me."

He pressed her head back down to his chest and leaned his chin in the top of her head, then ran his cheek over her soft hair. She nuzzled closer, pressing her face into the side of his neck, drawing strength from his warmth, his solidity and the uniquely male scent of him that was quickly becoming familiar to her. She sighed and asked "Aren't we supposed to be deliriously happy right now?"

Confused and slightly alarmed by her question, Darcy drew her to arm's length. Seeing the apprehension on his face, Elizabeth hastened to reassure him. "I'm not saying we aren't happy together. I was just thinking about how many authors have written about lovers out enjoying nature. It's supposed to be the state of perfect happiness."

"You're right. We shouldn't be moping. We're supposed to be frolicking or something."

Elizabeth couldn't help but laugh at the mental image of the dignified Mr. Darcy frolicking through a field.

"Exactly! 'Come live with me and be my love/ And we will all the pleasures prove/ That valleys, groves, hills and fields/ Woods, or steepy mountain yields.'"1

Raising an eyebrow, Darcy quickly returned, " Come live with me and be my love,/ And we will some new pleasure prove,/ Of golden sands and crystal brooks,/ With silken lines and silver hooks."2

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow, "Donne's reply to Marlowe. Impressive. But why didn't you go with the more obvious reply by Raleigh?"

Taking her arm, Darcy moved her along the path as he said, "Because in that poem, she says no."3

"I suppose it's my turn now."

"It seems that way, yes. Unless you can't think of anything."

Eyes flashing, Elizabeth replied "There's not a budding boy or girl this day/ But is got up and gone to bring in May;/ A deal of youth, ere this, is come/ Back, and with whitethorn laden, home./ Some have dispatched their cakes and cream/ Before that we have left to dream;/ And some have wept and wooed and plighted troth,/ And chose their priest ere we can cast off sloth."4

Laughing at her indignation, Darcy provoked her further. "Herrick, an excellent choice. Still, I don't know, beloved that that quote is quite as on topic as could be wished. A valiant attempt though. Perhaps another quote from Herrick could be better, like this one from The Argument of His Book ' I sing of blossoms, birds and bowers,/ Of April, May, of June, and July flowers/ I sing of Maypoles, hock carts, wassails, wakes/ Of bridegrooms, brides and of their bridal cakes/ I write of youth, of love and have access/ By these to sing cleanly of wantonness.'"

"That quote wasn't any more pertinent than mine, Mr. High and Mighty. You aren't as special as you think you are."

Squabbling good naturedly, the couple spent their walk flinging quotes at each other as fast as they could think of them. Towards the end, Elizabeth recognized that Mr. Darcy did indeed have the upper hand and changed her strategy to getting him to laugh. She accompanied her quotes with dramatic voices and wild hand gestures and chose the most ridiculous quotes she could think of, thrilling each time she heard his deep rich laugh and saw the worry lift from his face. Darcy enjoyed seeing her return to her usual teasing self and was secretly delighted that he had been the one who had helped her.

Mr. Darcy was reciting a quote from a Shakespearean sonnet when Elizabeth realized that she had completely exhausted her supply of pertinent quotes. She hated to admit defeat, but her mind was completely blank. Thinking on her feet, Elizabeth said "Wander'ng the fields, my love, I saw a cow/ and thus we must watch our step for I fear that now/ a careful frolic this will not allow/ for beware the path trod by the cow."

Darcy sputtered "Elizabeth! That is not a poem!"

"Surely you don't doubt me, my love? It is a poem by Donne. I will admit that it is not one of his more common works, but ..." She trailed off giggling.

"Minx! Are you trying to steal my victory through cheating and deception? This must be severely punished." He quickly snaked an arm up and grabbed the branch above her head, shaking it so that the dew gathered on the leaves rained down on her. Screaming, Elizabeth leapt away and then began to chase him laughing back towards the house. Mr. Darcy ran fast, but frequently turned back to laugh at her as she followed. As they broke into a clearing, Elizabeth caught up with him and grabbed his arm. Turning him to face her, she gasped "Caught you!" before dissolving into breathless laughter. They leaned on each other laughing, and after a moment, Elizabeth grinned up at him and said primly "You know, Mr. Darcy, I think I am going to enjoy being your wife." She was being facetious, but as Mr. Darcy looked down at her, his eyes softened and he was perfectly earnest when he said "I am going to enjoy having you as my wife."

It was almost too much for him. She was gazing up at him glowing with laughter and love and flushed with running and it was all he could do to keep from kissing her. Elizabeth sensed the change in mood and knew he was deciding whether or not to kiss her. She was apprehensive about the entire idea of kissing (she didn't like heading into situations where she didn't know what to expect), but Elizabeth suddenly found that she wanted him to kiss her very much. She turned towards him, drawing closer and without an overt movement on either side, his lips closed on hers. Although they had both longed for this moment, the sensation was so unfamiliar they both startled back. Chuckling softly, Darcy dipped his head and reclaimed her lips. Gently, ever so gently, he caressed her lips with his, kissing the corners of her mouth then moving to claim her lips again. If Elizabeth thought that being held in his arms was overwhelming, she had no words to explain the exhilaration of this. He drew back; she smiled shyly and intertwined her fingers with his as they headed back to the house.

1 Christopher Marlowe " The Passionate Shepherd to His Love" 1599

2 John Donne "The Bait' 1633

3 Sir Walter Raleigh "The Nymph's Reply to the Shepherd" 1600

4 Robert Herrick "Corinna's Going A-Maying" 1648