"WHAT IS THIS?"

"Well sir, I can explain…" Yunsung tried.

"NO! NO! NO! First my wife is going to kill me for abandoning her at the exploding chateau and now she's going to kill me AGAIN for ruining the hotel!!!!! WHY? WOE IS MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO GAVE HER THE WRONG PLANS?"

Unluckily for Link, he walked out of the dining room at the moment Raphael assumed Link gave Taki the wrong plans.

"YOU PINHEADED PIXIE, IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" Raphael yelled and started slashing away mercilessly at Link with the Queen's Guard.

"Mr. Sorel, stop it, it'll be all fine!"

"NO IT WILL NOT! Ivy is going to be back soon, and the hotel is a disaster zone, WE HAVE TO FIX IT!"

"Stop yelling!"

"I CAN'T STOP YELLING, I HAVE TO GIVE MYSELF A PREVIEW OF WHAT IVY WILL DO TO ME!"

"Don't panic! We can stall her!"

"STALL HER? WE DON'T EVEN…"

Yunsung picked up the coffee mug from the reception desk, even though it looked more like a futon now, and hit Raphael over the head with it.

"Thanks, I needed that… but anyway, we don't even know where she is! How are we going to stall her?"

"We break the tram car!"

"BRILLIANT!" Raphael yelled. "You get a pay raise!"

"Oh boy, anything above the dollar a month you're paying me now would be wonderful", Yunsung said, rolling his eyes. He was glad he had his job at Seung Mina's Sportsplex as the Ball Boy/Unofficial Target that paid a more fair wage, as both jobs entailed the same amount of physical and emotional stress.

"Okay, but first we need a better builder", Yunsung said.

"No wait! We just give Taki the real plans and say she was wrong and she won't charge us for the "put it right" deal!"

"NO! She screwed this up I won't trust her with it! Also do you see how uneven the paint is? And how rickety looking the walls are? I'm surprised this place isn't just going to collapse!"

And with their luck, it did.

Raphael peeked his head up from the debris.

"Well this might be a more daunting task than I thought…" Raphael said, calm for once, at the most inappropriate time to be calm.

"HOW ARE WE GOING TO REPLACE THE BUILDING?" Yunsung yelled, now being the irrational one.

"Ingenuity!" Raphael said, cockily.

"INGENUITY? INGENUITY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" Yunsung screeched. "YOU CRAZY MAN, THE WHOLE HOTEL IS GONE! IT'S DONE! GONE GONE GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Suddenly, they heard a yelling voice from down below.

"THAT'S IT! The crack addict clinic hasn't got enough funding so I'm deciding to abandon it! GOOD RIDDANCE!" Maxi yelled and stormed out of the crack addict clinic while the addicts broke out and ran amok across the town.

"The crack addict place! Did you know that it was conveniently designed to have the same exterior and floor plan as the old hotel?"

"So?"

"So, we just move it up here!"

"MOVE A HOUSE? THAT'S LUDICROUS!"

"Well I know we can do it!"

"HOW?"

"With ingenuity."

"Ugh…"

The High School…

"Alright, the dance auditions are in here", Cassandra said, walking up to the gym door with Tira in tow. They both walked in to find all of the dancers practicing their sword techniques because at the fictional high school in the SC universe everyone had to pick a discipline.

"Like, ohmygosh, it's Cassandra Alexandra!" one of the dance girls said and soon they stampeded toward the two women.

"Hi Cassandra, I'm like, my name like, is like, Heather Heatherton",

"And I'm like Lindsey Lindsor!"

"And I'm like Michelle Michaels!"

"And I'm Ellen Franco!"

There was an awkward silence.

"She's a bit of a rebel", Heather explained. "But ohmygod, I like, never thought I would meet the legendary Cassandra Alexandra!!!!!!!!! We all even like, practice your style!"

The girls then started prancing around ineptly in a makeshift form of Cassandra.

"Wow, these girls make my sister in Soul Calibur 2 look like a good fighter", Cassandra muttered under her breath.

"Like wha? Cassandra, don't hate us!"

"I was just kidding! LOL!" Cassandra said.

"L-O-L!!!!!!!!!" all the girls chorused.

"Anyway girls, I have someone I want to introduce to you, since I know you're having auditions. She's a great dancer and I think she'd be great on the team!" Cassandra explained. "Here is Miss Tira Misu!"

"EW! That is D-I-S-… Um… D-I-S-G-U… an S? I don't know! NO! Cassandra, we love and respect you, but HER? SHE IS SO TOTALLY GRODY!" Heather complained.

"Heather, when I was dance team captain, I was opened minded to EVERYONE, so please give her a chance!"

"Fine, come on girls!"

Tira went through her exhibition video, went through many of her more acrobatic moves, threw her hoop into the air and dove through it, flying for a moment, breakdancing and then catching the hoop. She then got up and took a bow.

"LIKE OHMYGOD, Tira, you're totally disgusting, but you're like, awesomey cool! We just need to give you a makeover and you'll be fine!" Heather said. "In fact, you're a better dancer than me, so why don't you be captain?"

"Oh wow? Really? It feels great to be loved!" Tira said. "Thanks Cassandra!"

"No problem, but I expect to see improvement when I attend the next pep rally!" Cassandra said and left the high school. "I wonder what the hotel is like without me…"

In town…

"No."

"But why Talim? We really need your plane!"

"Because I said no. Only I use my plane! NOT NOBODY ELSE USES MY PLANE! NOT UNLESS THEY WANT TO FEEL THE PAAAAAAAAAIN!" Talim shrieked.

"Talim PLEASE we really need it!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WE WILL NOT LET YOU GO! LET HIM GO! BISMILLAH! WE WILL NOT LET YOU GO! LET HIM GOOOOOOOOOOO! BISMILLAH! WE WILL NOT LET YOU GO! LET ME…"

"Well this is pointless!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT!" Talim boomed. "First you must do two things, beat me in a game of checkers, and then score me some more crack."

"HOW WOULD WE KNOW WHERE TO GET CRACK?" Yunsung and Raphael yelled.

"Kilik sells it behind Seung Mina's Sportsplex at 4:45-7:00 every day, if you go early enough, he offers it at a lower price, here's some money", Talim said, handing them thousands upon thousands of dollars.

"Where did you get all this money?"

"I robbed your hotel once, if I recall your safe was open…"

Flashback Sequence…

Raphael was miserable.

Why was he miserable you ask? It was the worst time of year for him, New Years Eve, the last few days of the year, made into the longest and absolute worst worst worst ever. It was always the time of year when Ivy's father would come to visit and constantly harass Raphael.

Firstly Cervantes hated Raphael. Actually hated is an understatement, he loathed, despised, detested, abhorred, couldn't stand, was execrated, disdained, disparaged, scorned and disgusted by Raphael. He also said he developed an allergic reaction and nausea while in his presence.

Raphael never knew why Cervantes hated him so. The truth was Raphael's constant question asking about Cervantes and Soul Edge tired him, as he had left those days behind and didn't want to here about them, plus, Raphael just annoyed him.

"Yeargh, matey! Why must lunch be served so late, me hardey?" Cervantes screamed while barging into the office Raphael was hiding in.

"Cervantes, I told…"

"THAT'S MR. DE LEON, TO YOU!"

"Mr. De Leon, I told…"

"NO! I'm changing it, you are to call me CAPTAIN DE LEON, now!"

"Captain De Leon, I told…"

"NOPE! I'm changing it again! You are to call me CERVANTES, MASTER OF ALL THAT IS AMAZING!"

"Cervantes, Master of All That…"

"NOPE!"

This went on for about an hour, long after lunch started serving, and Cervantes finally decided on the name that Raphael wanted to call him.

"Badass Pirate Dude with the two swords that kicks all sissy French fencers ass that defiles his family name, lunch started twenty minutes ago!"

"WHAT? LAD! WHY DO YE TRICK ME, LANDLUBBER?"

"I WASN'T TRICKING YOU OLD MAN! I WAS TRYING TO TELL YOU THE WHOLE TIME BUT YOU WERE LIKE "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO… CALL ME COUNT OF THE NETHER REALM" IT WAS INANE!"

"Yeargh, you better have what me wants in the mess hall. Argh!" Cervantes said and stormed out of the room. After he stormed out, Ivy stormed in.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"I'm hiding from your father that's what I'm doing!"

"Raphael, there's a lot to be done, Yunsung had to leave to get more ingredients so you'll have to take over cooking!"

"WHAT? Why can't you do it?"

"A. Because I'm too pretty, and B. The English can't cook!"

"Ivy, you're Spanish!"

"Oh, don't go pulling that card on me again mister, you know perfectly well I was raised with English ideals, specifically the one where we suck at cooking! Now GO or I'll force you!"

"Wait, Cassandra's Greek, they're amazing cooks!"

"She also had to go temporarily, she had to pick up Pyrrha and Patrokolos from kindergarten because Sophitia's off on a couples therapy retreat with Rothion", Ivy said. "Now stop making up excuses and go!"

"But your father wants food!"

"So?"

"SO?! If he finds out I cooked it, he'll do anything he can to find a flaw in the meal!"

"Oh don't be a baby it will be fine, now hurry up, the guests are getting impatient!" Ivy said.

"Oh…………. Fine."

Raphael ran down the stairs as his wife rolled her eyes. He sprang into the kitchen to find Cervantes waiting for him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! Why are you here?"

"Yeargh, me was mighty impatient and I be deciding to have a look at the kitchen, and the chef isn't here. Where be the scurvy mongrel? Argh."

"Um… he's outside!"

"Yeargh, I'll go take a look!"

"NO! He doesn't like people looking at him when he's outside!"

"YEARGH! What kind of crap are ye feeding me you lily-livered pansy?" Cervantes cursed.

"It's a phobia, uh…"

"Raphael, why aren't you cooking?"

"WHAT?"

"Daddy, Raphael is going take over the cooking today", Ivy said.

"Why……." Raphael whined toward his wife who just rolled her eyes.

"Harr harr harr", Cervantes laughed as he exited the kitchen.

"WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?"

"Raphael, I swear if you…"

"SEE WHAT HE DID? DID YOU SEE THAT LOOK HE…"

"RAPHAEL!"

Raphael stopped talking.

"You're being foolish, stop overreacting, it will be fine, just produce a quality meal and he shouldn't care!"

"YOU DON'T…"

"Yes I do, now get to it!"

"But…"

"RAPHAEL!"

He jumped backwards, Ivy left and he donned his cooking stuff. Ivy walked back in with the orders.

"Here, please don't screw up", Ivy said and sulked out of the kitchen.

"Alright then, so he wants, Chili Con Carne and a side salad", Raphael said to himself. Very carefully he mixed all the ingredients into a pot and began to cook.

"PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST!"

Raphael looked around, befuddled.

"I am befuddled!" Raphael yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Moron…" Ivy muttered from the dining room.

"Yarr, why did ye be marrying he?" Cervantes asked his daughter. "Ye coulda married the optician."

"Dad, the optician turned out to be gay!"

"Yarr, I think it's only a matter of time before this French fruitcup does too", Cervantes cursed.

"Eh, possibly", Ivy shrugged and continued eating her salad.

Back in the Kitchen…

"PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST!"

"WHO IS THAT?" Raphael yelled.

"It's me, Yunsung!" said "Yunsung".

"Yunsung, your voice sounds oddly high pitched today", Raphael said stepping outside when he was quickly caught and tied up by the assailant.

"YOU?" Raphael asked.

"Me!" Talim said. "Now, is your safe unlocked?"

"Yes! I MEAN…"

"Thanks", Talim said, and ran into the office to steal the money.

"NOOOOOOO! COME BACK AND UNTIE ME!" Raphael said, unable to move his arms or legs. "Oh no, the soup!"

"Grr… well, it has at least 5 minutes left to cook", Raphael guessed. He started flopping toward it but couldn't grab it off the stove. Glancing at his watch, it looked like he had wasted three and a half minutes.

"A minute and a half to stop the soup!"

Raphael jumped next to the knives and tried to get one out of the case, but it wasn't working. Finally he settled for Flambert, which he lied on the table when Ivy dragged him into the kitchen. The soup at this point was boiling, and was almost simmering over the top of the pot.

"NO!! I CAN STOP IT!" Raphael yelled.

Suddenly, the doors to the kitchen burst open revealing a very impatient Cervantes and a disgruntled Ivy.

"Raphael, what is the pro…"

Raphael, at the shock of seeing Ivy and Cervantes in the doorway kicked the stove and the Chili Con Carne splattered all over both of them and the pot hit Cervantes in the head.

"Raph…ae…ELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!" Ivy screamed.

"Dear you don't understand I…"

"Shut up! I'm going to get my purse and beat you with it!" Ivy said walking to the safe, and to her chagrin, nothing was there.

"RAPHAEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ivy yelled.

End Flashback…

"It's all your fault you little crack monkey!" Raphael scoffed.

"Oooh I don't know if I can give you the plane now!" Talim smirked.

"YOU MUST GIVE US THE PLANE!" Raphael and Yunsung chorused.

"BUT I CAN'T GIVE YOU THE PLANE!" Talim whined.

"YOU MUST GIVE US THE PLANE!"

"BUT I CAN'T GIVE YOU THE PLANE!"

"YOU MUST GIVE US THE PLANE!"

"BUT I CAN'T GIVE YOU THE PLANE!"

"WHY NOT?!?!?!?!?!?!"

"Because it's being repaired!" Talim said. Raphael and Yunsung looked blankly at her.

"Where… is… it?"

"Down under, Charade is working on it."

"Can we see?"

"No."

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease", Yunsung whined.

"Fine, just you but not him!"

"What?" Raphael asked angrily.

"It's okay, I know what I'm doing!" Yunsung said, reassured and followed Talim down to the hangar, where he saw Charade in this makeshift repairman outfit that exposed his eye and "head".

"Hey Charade!" Yunsung waved. Charade gestured and went back to work.

"A Hercules C-130 and my random gigantic, industrial fan!" Talim said, moving her hands toward the aircraft. "My dad purchased it for me for no reason. Did you know my family is enormously wealthy?"

"I didn't…" Yunsung said.

"Well we were going to test it out right now, the keys are in the ignition and everything!" Talim said.

"Great!" Yunsung said, walking up to Charade and his tool-cart. He picked up a wrench from the cart and threw it into Charade's eye which sent him staggering backwards into the wind generator lever, turning it on and sending gigantic gusts of wind throughout the hangar.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Talim screeched as she was flung against the wall. Yunsung got into the cockpit and started the plane. The enormous rotors sputtered to life and the plane escaped the hangar. He flew over Raphael who was knocked over by the wind.

"Need a ride?" Yunsung called. Raphael nodded in awe and climbed up the rope ladder that Yunsung threw down. He then hooked onto the house and flew it toward the wreckage while some random orchestra somewhere played a brassy "They did it" tune. Carefully, he dropped it atop the blown-away heap of rubble and hovered there for a minute.

"Um… Mr. Sorel?"

"Yes Yunsung?"

"What are we going to do with this plane?"

"Hmm… good point, I… I don't know to tell you the truth, because I'm sure you don't want to go see Talim and Charade again after the highjinks you just pulled there. But there really isn't a place in town where we can put it…"

"I KNOW!" Yunsung yelled for no reason, causing Raphael to look at him with disdain.

"Is there a car down there?" Raphael asked.

"Nope."

"Is my wife here yet?"

"Not as of yet, do you want me to cut the cable car lines?" Yunsung asked, flying the plane next to the cable car and having the propeller cut the lines, leading the cable car to fall to its death.

"I was going to say no… but whatever!" Raphael said.

"WAIT! I have an idea!"

"What is that?"

"I have the plane go up at high altitude and we let it drop and then we drop it into the lake!"

"How deep is the lake?"

"Not deep enough… I'm afraid!"

DUN! DUN-DUN!!!!! DUN… some Russian music played.

"Yes Comrade General…"

"DON'T INVADE OUR STORY 'FOR YOUR EYES ONLY'", Raphael yelled.

"I was just kidding about the not deep enough, it should sink to the bottom."

"COOL BEANS!"

"What did you say?"

"Cool beans! All the kids are saying it nowadays!"

"Um… no they aren't!"

"Yes they are, I saw it on an MTV special!"

"What MTV special?"

"I watch MTV a lot, I like being in the hip generation!"

"Hip?" Yunsung asked, questionably.

"Yeah, the cool, superfly young ones! Besides, I heard Sophitia say Cool Beans a few weeks ago!"

"She's 26, Mr. Sorel, she's part of your generation", Yunsung said.

"Oh, well I don't care, I have my parachute on and I'm ready to go!"

Yunsung let go of the controls and jumped out of the plane with his parachute ready and floated down to the other side of the mountain that was sadly not the hotel.

Also sadly, they were met by Ivy.

"Dear!"

Ivy slapped Raphael.

"YOU ABANDONED ME, JERK, JERK, JERK!" Ivy said, kicking him for every stressed syllable she spoke.

"Ivy please don't…"

"PLEASE DON'T? PLEASE???? YOU ARE GOING TO BEG ME TO STOP!" Ivy said. She then removed the Alraune from her coat.

"NO! NOT THE WHIP! NOT THE…"

Yunsung ran away so as not to witness the bloodbath.

On the mountain…

Link sat alone next to the hotel. No one really seemed to care that he was in the hotel too when it collapsed and that they just left him there to either rot, die or wish that he never ported to SC2. He didn't bother signaling them, as they all knew perfectly well that he was just a minor fixture in the story and is mainly used for asides, and a cheap way to end a chapter.

Will Ivy find out about the hotel? Will the pep rally be a success? Will Cassandra have a more major role in the next chapter? Find out soon!

A/N: Sorry about the hiatus, high school really ends up consuming your life.