A/N: I know it has been FOREVER since I last updated, but I moved into a new place with new bills not to mention trying to keep up with two toddlers…lol. I also had writer's block. Now I have the time and energy so I thought I'd update with a few chapters for anyone who is still keeping up with this story. If you are thank you so much. Here ya go!

Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or thing in the Bond movies or books.

Chapter Ten

The moment his lips touched hers Kendra felt pure electricity run through her body. It was like she had touched a live wire. Nothing matter more than this moment right here. Not the pain in her shoulder. Not their jobs. Not the fact that he worked for her aunt. Not the fact that at any second they could all die. All that matter was the intense feeling this kiss was stirring within her. Then just as suddenly as it had began it was over and he was holding her at arms length.

"We can not just take a bath together. It wouldn't be just a bath." his eyes met hers and he saw the same desire he felt mirrored in her depths, but he would not pursue this woman no matter what his other head was telling him to do." If we went in there and got into that bath tub I'd be signing my own death warrant." a small smile hinted at her lips as they both knew what he meant." You deserve someone who can give you the time you need. The protection..." there it was the shield of self protection he knew it all too well.

"Let me stop you right there because I know this speech all too well." her eyes met his" I've given it many times." she smiled as she went on." Do not forget you kissed me." She poked his chest lightly." I only offered a bath. I offered it not as a coy way of alluding to sex, but to politely say you need a bath." she wrinkled her nose adding to the effect." That and I need help washing my hair." she indicated her shoulder.

"I'll send Nivea in here to help with your hair when you're ready." he said as he felt satisfaction knowing that the kiss affected her just as much as it did him." When you're done with your bath I'll take mine since you find my smell offending." she shrugged at his faked offense.

"I'll be out in about an hour." she said as he stepped out of the bathroom" You can send Nivea in whenever she's ready." she added as she shut the door and leaned back against it.

What the hell was I thinking? I know better than to get personal with someone I work with. She silently berated herself. She could not nor would not get involved with James Bond. One he worked for her aunt and she'd kill him. Two he worked in her line of work. Three he was British she was CIA. The two never mixed well.

"Hey you need me to help you out in here?" Nivea asked as she opened the door breaking Kendra's thoughts.

"Yeah I need help getting out of my clothes and washing my hair." she told her as Nivea nodded.

"I'm surprised James didn't offer to help you out of your clothes." Nivea chuckled.

"I offered to share my bath with him, but he gave me my speech." she winced slightly as Nievea gently touched her shoulder.

"Sorry." she said as she finished removing Kendra's clothes and helped her in the tub." He's just trying to save you from the mess he considers his life." she added

"I wasn't offering sex honestly though he did kiss me and I returned the kiss." she said as Nivea wetted her hair and began to massage the shampoo into her scalp." I needed help and besides he needs a bath." both girls laughed." What is it with me and being attracted to the guys who are all wrong for me?"

"It's away of protecting yourself." Nivea answered as she washed the shampoo out of Kendra's hair then began to put in the conditioner." You go after those you know will not want anything to do with you on a permanent level so that you don't have to worry about losing them because of your job." she knew Kendra better than anyone." Nor do you have worry about getting hurt. " Nivea heard the sigh that came from Kendra and her heart felt like it was gonna break for all the pain that she had been through." I know this from personal experience." she thought about Nicholas" Someday you'll find that guy who'll brave your walls just to get to the woman behind them. Because he knows she's worth all the hell he will go through. He won't be scared away nor will he need your protection." her mind was on Nicholas as she spoke." James may or may not be that person. He needs a woman who'll brave his walls as well. Personally though I know you're both great people underneath all the walls you're no good for each other." that was said more about her and Nicholas than Kendra and James.

"Speaking of…" Kendra's felt like a princess as Nivea massaged her scalp." Why didn't you tell me about you and Nicholas being married? I didn't even know you two were dating."

"We didn't really date. He was my partner for five years." she smiled as Kendra turned to face her." Something happened and we realized we needed each other more than we thought." She smiled brightly" I couldn't imagine my life without him in it." then her smile disappeared" I just can't believe he lied to me."

"It comes with the job." Kendra offered" Besides you kept my secret from him."

"Still it bothers me slightly that he lied so easily to me." Nivea's voice took on a soft edge as she spoke" Five years I was his partner. I'm his wife. His best friend. I trusted him with my life." she paused before she nearly whispered" I trusted him with my heart. Now I don't know if I can ever trust him with that again." Kendra understood what Nivea was feeling. Betrayal no matter how small was still the same. She couldn't tell her it would be okay. That they would work through this. She couldn't tell her answers that she herself had been searching for since she was eight teen years old.

"I have no magic or pretty words to make everything better. " Kendra answered after a moments pause." I can't give you answers to a question that I've been asking myself for years. I know you though and you're not as stubborn as I am. Nor are you a masochist like me. You'll find your answers." she leaned her chin on the tubs edge as Nivea sat fully on the floor.

"I miss us." she said as Kendra nodded her head in agreement

"You never lost me." she replied softly

"Yes, I did." her voice was like a whispered balm to Kendra's chapped soul" For a very long time my best friend was no where to be found." she fought the urge to let the burning tears fall. " There was this cold hearted bitch of a harpy in her place." Kendra raised her brows in surprise." It's true."

"You always had me." Kendra creased her forehead slightly confused

"This woman that's before me now is my best friend whom I have not seen in years. Don't let that bastard take her from me again." Nivea hugged Kendra" You are more than my best friend you are my sister and I love you with all of my heart." emotions choked her throat up as she finished her words

"I love you too Niv." Kendra said allowing herself to just relax for once.