Chapter Ten
Time had flown by for Erik. One day of pure happiness ran into another so he did not know or care if it had been a week or a month as long as every day and night he could spend time with Samantha, his lawfully wedded wife, not someone he forced to wear a gown and ring of his choosing, not Christine, thank God.
The ship was docking and everyone was doing all the things that needed to be done to safely bring the ship in. After docking and all the formalities were finished the cargo had to be unloaded and the new cargo loaded in preparation to leave and head for America.
Erik looked forward to seeing Samantha's home. She had described it to him. He could tell that she loved it and missed it even though she loved life aboard ship with her father.
Captain Sinclair had decided that he would not go back out when the ship left America. He wanted to be there when Samantha gave birth to his first grandchild. He had missed Samantha's birth. He regretted that, but he would be there for Samantha when the time came.
"Do you want to come with me and Erik father?"
"No, you two spend the next few days sightseeing and enjoying some time alone away from the ship. Stay in that fancy hotel everyone was raving over the last time we were here. Go to the theatre and see a play. Anything you want. My treat. Call it a wedding gift." He handed her a small leather pouch he had hooked to his pants pocket.
"That should be enough to last for the next few days. Don't come back until we're ready to leave. Understood?"
"Thank you Dad."
Samantha's father felt his throat tighten. She hardly ever called him "Dad" anymore. She called him father most of the time or Captain like the men did. He missed his little girl.
Erik and Samantha departed the ship. Erik was a little nervous. He had never walked among people in daylight except for the priests, the crew and the natives of the island they had visited. Places he felt accepted and safe.
He was afraid that people would not accept him and the fact that he was with a beautiful woman would draw undue attention. Likely they would point and speculate as to Samantha's mental state to be with him.
As soon as they were on the dock Samantha took his hand and looked around as if daring anyone to say anything. No one seemed to care. They all had their own business to take care of.
Samantha visibly relaxed as she realized they were just two more bodies on a dock crawling with hundreds of people and everything else one found on a busy dock when ships were coming in and going out.
She had been so worried. She and Erik had already had a heated discussion about her father's generous gift. Once Erik understood that her father would never try to belittle him in any way he had accepted the gift a little more graciously.
Samantha pulled him after her and headed toward a carriage with a tired looking horse hooked to it. They got in and Samantha gave the driver the name of the hotel.
At the hotel Erik could feel the eyes of some of the people directed toward him. This environment was something quite different from the hustle and bustle on the dock. He thought he heard a few horrified gasps. He couldn't be sure because Samantha distracted him by telling him all the things she wanted to show him. She wanted to take him to her favorite place to eat and to the park where she liked to walk. They could even rent horses and ride.
Over the next few days Samantha showed him everything she wanted him to see. Things his life underground had denied him. Most of the time he forgot about how he looked in the shear zest for life Samantha showed him. If people made comments he didn't notice. He had eyes and ears only for Samantha.
They ate in their room most nights. They couldn't seem to make the effort to leave the room to dine in the hotel or venture out to find a nice restaurant.
On the day before they were to return to the ship Erik noticed that Samantha was very quiet and deep in thought. He knew when she was ready she would tell him what was bothering her. When she did tell him it was something he never would have guessed.
"Erik, yesterday I heard people at the desk talking about the wonderful time they had at the theatre the night before. They said the singer was a young woman named Christine Daaé. I asked if we could get some tickets and asked them to send them here if they managed to obtain any."
She reached into her pocket and took out the two pieces of paper and handed them to him. She watched his face closely for his reaction.
"I want you to see her so that you can be sure that you are over her. I need to be sure. We both need to be sure."
"I'm glad we went shopping and bought all these new clothes It seems we will have need of them." Sam tried to sound unconcerned when everything within her wanted to yank back those tickets and toss them out the window after ripping them into tiny pieces.
As his silence dragged on she had to ask, "Are you upset with me Erik? I don't want you to be hurt again but we both need to be sure. I don't want doubts to creep in and ruin what we have."
"I'm not upset or mad at you. I'm just amazed that you love me so much that you would take this chance. I know how I feel, but if you need this we'll go and lay all the ghosts from my past to rest for good. I have no love for Christine or at least not the kind I feel for you. I have only fond memories of a young girl who was in my life and gave me a reason to get up each day. A reason to live when life seemed unbearable."
Erik wasn't sure what emotions he felt. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel. He just knew that he no longer loved Christine as he had before. He hoped he wasn't making a mistake by agreeing to go tonight. He knew that Samantha had his heart. Of that he had no doubt.
They got ready to go that night in silence. Both were deep in their own thoughts. Samantha hoped she could remain calm. She would hate to have a brawl with a crowd of strangers looking on. If that woman glanced at him a little too long she would be sporting a black eye.
That Daaé woman had her chance with Erik and she threw him away. He is mine now and I will be damned if some woman from his past is going to lay claim to what is mine.
Samantha was once again having second thoughts about the evening. If she thought about it she had doubts long before she had heard of Christine Daaé being in London or performing on one of its largest venues for entertainment.
She wanted to rescind her offer to Erik but knew she couldn't do that without letting him know of her change of heart. Bad enough she had to hear them inside her own head without giving voice to them.
When they were ready they went downstairs to the waiting carriage. Not one word was spoken. Erik took her hand and gave her an encouraging squeeze. He held her hand all the way to the theatre.
At the theatre he found that Samantha had gotten box seats. They would have the privacy they wanted. He was grateful that he wouldn't have to sit among all those people his first time back in the world of music he had loved so much.
His heart was pounding in anticipation. To hear music again made the blood race in his veins. Music had always been his first mistress. His first love.
They were led to their box by a young man who only cast Erik lingering looks from the corner of his eye. They waited for the curtain to go up and signal the beginning of the night's entertainment. Erik sat forward in his seat in anticipation.
Sam looked at him out of the corner of her eye. He looked like a little boy waiting for a special treat. His face was alight with eagerness. She had to say she had never seen him looking more handsome than at this very moment.
The music began to play and the curtain separated and there was Christine. She looked just as young and beautiful as he remembered. He could admire her beauty and her voice but he didn't feel the emotions that he used to feel when he saw her. The hunger for her touch or the need to hear her voice was no longer the burning desire in his belly he had felt for so many years.
He didn't feel the gnawing need for things he couldn't have. He didn't want her as he once had. He felt the relief wash over him. Perhaps he hadn't been as sure as he thought. He had spent many years loving Christine in one way or another. He had watched her grow from a child to a young woman.
Christine's voice was even better than before. It made him proud that he had played a small part in teaching her what he had to give. His music would most likely never be heard in public but the voice he had trained had been heard by thousands of people all over the world.
When the music started Samantha took Erik's hand. She held it through the entire performance. They remained in their seats until the final note was sung and Christine was accepting the applause of the audience.
Erik stood and moved into the light. He clapped his hands in appreciation for her talent. He could finally put the last part of his past behind him. He shouted his own Brava to add to those coming from the audience.
As he stood there he saw Christine turn toward him and it seemed as if she looked directly at him. She raised the rose she had in her hand and gave a slight nod of her head in his direction.
Samantha stepped forward into the light with Erik. She wrapped her arms around his right arm and leaned her head against his shoulder. If this would be seen as an open declaration of their connection Sam didn't care.
Christine turned back toward the audience that still wanted more. She gave a final bow and left the stage.
Erik took Samantha's left hand and raised it to his lips. He kissed the ring on her finger reverently.
"Let's go home," he murmured. He had said his last goodbye to his past and Christine. A past that had many regrets.
They rode back to the hotel in silence. They held hands and every once in a while Erik would raise their joined hands to place a soft kiss on the back of Samantha's hand. It seemed that they both needed the reassurance of the others presence.
As the door closed behind them, Erik took Samantha in his arms and kissed her mouth passionately. He began to walk her backwards toward the bed. When they were at the bed Erik released Samantha and silently began to remove her dress. When the last article of clothing was removed he laid her down on the bed.
Keeping his eyes on hers he removed his own clothing. When his last piece of clothing was dropped to the floor he joined her on the bed.
He then began to love her in the most tender and loving way he could. He wanted her to know she was the most precious and most important person to him.
All the love he felt for her was in his touch and in his voice as he told her how much he loved her and how important she was to him. He wanted her to at last know that his thoughts were all for her. He had truly let his past go.
Samantha never felt more loved than she did that night. Erik was so tender and loving. He only wanted to please her, to meet her needs. His hands and lips cherished her. His words encouraged her to give back to him all that he gave to her. No more doubts crowded her mind.
They fell asleep in each other's arms as they had many nights before. Erik rested his hand on Samantha's stomach as if to protect the small life growing there. Sometimes he would move his hand as if in search of a sign of life from his child.
Samantha rested her hand over Erik's. She pressed his hand into her. He made her feel safe and protected even in sleep.
She knew Erik was worried about what their child would look like and whether he could be a good father.
Silently she promised him that they would learn to be parents together. As long as they loved each other and the children they created everything else would come in time.
Samantha couldn't resist touching Erik. She was trailing her hand along his body when Erik woke up and his eyes met hers. He smiled at her. That smile was the only invitation Samantha needed to continue her exploration of him.
She woke hours later and felt that she needed to have a ham sandwich with pickles. Not just any pickle but the sourest pickle imaginable. She could almost taste the pickle in her mouth.
She put her hand on Erik's shoulder and shook him gently. When he made no response she shook him harder. He opened his eyes and looked at her questioningly.
"I'm hungry. I would like a ham sandwich and a big dill pickle, and cake. Chocolate cake, and a glass of milk."
Erik waited to see if that was the end of her list of what she wanted to eat. It was five o'clock in the morning. How she could want to eat these foods now was a mystery to him, but if she wanted them he would look all over London to find what she wanted.
So far Samantha had no symptoms that other women experienced during their confinement. This was the first time she felt a craving for anything. Her father had told her that her mother had craved the oddest foods at the oddest times. She had also suffered morning sickness until about her six or seventh month.
As he shoved his legs into his trousers Erik prayed he did not give anyone a fright at this hour. For his newly acquired wife Erik would turn London upside down to obtain her every desire. Erik left and went in search of someone to help him get the things that Samantha wanted.
He had been gone about an hour when he came back with a tray that held the food and drink she wanted. The night clerk had been willing to overlook Erik's mask in lieu of a large amount of coins dropped in his hand.
The man also aided Erik in finding what he would need from the kitchen. All in all Erik's first visit to a London hotel kitchen could be claimed as a success.
He set the tray on the table and went to Samantha's side of the bed. She was asleep. He gently laid his hand on her to waken her.
Drowsily she opened her eyes. She looked at him and told him she no longer wanted the food. He had taken too long. If he loved her he would have been faster. She was no longer hungry. She then turned over onto her side and went back to sleep.
To say that Erik was confused was an understatement. He didn't know what he had done to make her angry. He had only done as she asked him to do. How could she equate his tardiness with not loving her? Had she set a time limit then forgotten to inform him?
Erik shook his head and undressed and got into bed. He didn't know if he should touch her or not. Tentatively he laid his hand on her and slid it to her stomach. When she made no comment or had not moved away he slid his body closer so that they were touching. He hoped that whatever wrong he had committed she would forgive him before morning.
Erik awoke the next morning to find Samantha smiling at him as if the night before hadn't happened. She reached for him to pull him closer so she could easily reach his willing lips.
As Samantha moved to kiss Erik she suddenly felt extremely ill. She barely made it to the water closet before being violently sick. She thought it was never going to end.
Erik stood helplessly and watched Samantha from the doorway. He felt his own stomach revolt as he stood by Samantha not knowing if he should offer his help or even if she would have need of him. He went to her and placed his hand on her shoulder and pulled her long hair away from her face. He tried to sooth her with words.
When she was finished she washed her face and brushed her teeth. In Erik's opinion she did not look at all well. Her usually healthy skin had a pale pallor he had never seen on her before.
"Don't look so worried Erik. I'm just suffering from morning sickness. Most women do. I guess my cravings and bad moods are also symptoms of my pregnancy."
"You will have to suffer like this every morning until the baby comes?" he asked worriedly. He felt certain that if men had to endure such things the human race would have become extinct long ago.
"Maybe not. Sometimes it stops as suddenly as it starts. At least that's what father told me. I'll just have to have toast in the mornings to settle my stomach before I get up in the morning."
"Breakfast in bed. I like the sound of that." Erik eyed her suggestively. Samantha began to think Erik would prove to be a virile man.
"Speaking of bed, we don't have to leave until later, let's go back to bed."
She then whispered in his ear all that she would do to him and Erik didn't argue with her. He wanted to do the same things to her.
Much later they packed all that they had bought and with a last look at the room they had shared the past two days, they left.
Everyone was busy when they arrived back at the ship. They carried their things below and returned to the deck to help make the ship ready for departure. At least Erik did.
Samantha was sat on a barrel and told not to move. It was a little annoying but very touching that they were concerned for her and wanted to take care of her. She'd let them coddle her for a while.
In the weeks to come they were to wonder what had taken possession their Sam and replaced her with a woman who cried for no apparent reason. Lost her temper over the slightest things then repented as she apologized profusely to whoever received her wrath.
One moment she was all smiles and then the next she was tearing into someone. They tried to avoid her when she was in one of her moods. They pitied poor Erik.
He let her vent her sudden anger on him. He never said anything, just let her rant and rave until whatever bothered her at the time was over. Her weeping, cursing, and apologizing seemed to be stuck in a vicious cycle.
It was to be a long voyage for everyone. Some thought it was the longest trip that they had ever taken and were thankful to see land ahead.
Samantha would be glad to see a doctor. She wanted to be sure her baby was healthy. She would be grateful for her bigger more comfortable bed. Erik was a big man. He was slightly longer than their bunk.
She hadn't minded sleeping so close to Erik but the poor man had to cling to the edge of the bed even sleeping flush against Samantha.
With her growing body it was even less roomy. Erik didn't complain. He never complained. He felt quite content with his new life.
Samantha on the other hand was not happy with anything lately. She knew she was unreasonable sometimes. She always apologized to the person she was berating after her venom had spewed forth. She certainly didn't like this part of being pregnant. She felt as if some demon took hold of her. Her father reassured her it was normal.
If Erik didn't love her he probably would have thrown her overboard. Everyone else would have helped. Just thinking this mad her cry incessantly.
Samantha had come to realize that Erik was a very tender and caring person. He had hid his true self behind the mask he wore. It was hard for him to let his tenderness show in case he got hurt. Only with Samantha did he let his guard down.
He was courteous and polite to everyone but didn't seek out the others for conversation or companionship. Until he and Samantha fell in love he had spent most of his time alone. Her father had gotten him to open up a little.
He still used his mask to shield himself from others. Only with her did he feel safe enough to show what he hid behind the mask. Not only his face, but a tender heart as well.