"You're amazing." He whispered kissing her forehead. "Stay here with me?" He announced suddenly. Looking at her eyes.
"Tonight? Where else would in go love?" She giggled her eyes watching his. She curled into his arms. "Done playing already? "
"I'm never done with you." He kissed her nose. "And I meant you should stay with me permanently." He stated his green eyes sparking.
Jinx smiled. "Do you mean that?" She smiled brightly throwing her arms around him. She kissed him softly.
"I mean it. You're here anyways and I can't imagine you not being right by my side." He answered honestly
"I'd love that baby. . Can I move some things over?" She cuddled into him. Her brain racing with excitement.
Just like that in the course of a less than a year, Roy Harper was what most called a changed man. To him, he wasn't fueled with drugs and constant need to fill a invisible void, but according to others he had a light about him. A light that hadn't been there until after Jinx. He casually brushed it off and really tried to just brush it off as being clean.
After Jinx moved in the "honey moon" stage as some called, melted away. He wasn't sure what it was, whether because she wasn't sick anymore or maybe because she felt better she acted completely different. To him, he was never sure. She moody all the time. One moment she be draped all over him sucking on his ear doing everything to turn him on, then a complete turn around. He did his best to reason with her, but it wasn't long before the pair were constantly bickering.
Every argument began and ended with Sam. At first Roy did everything to justify how just because one girl needed help didn't mean he loved her, or wanted to fuck her. Eventually it got old and he gave up trying to explain anything. He turned his phone on silent and would only answer Sam's texts while she was out or asleep, but even then that got old. He stopped caring, to him he had made his piece and he shouldn't have to keep repeating himself.
Then the picture message popped up on his phone while they were watching TV. He opened and instantly regretted it because her voice became shrill. He deleted the picture and threw his phone away from him trying to keep from losing his cool, but when Jinx kept going he exploded. "I'm NOT Fucking her, I had one night stand a long time ago, BEFORE we even happened and you act like it was yesterday, I've apologized over and over again but I can't help what she sends me Jinx." Things only got more heated when she grabbed his phone looking through his messages. She read multiple ones out loud and then burst into tears when she read one about her.
"You have gone off the fucking deep end Jinx, I can't take it anymore. I've done everything to prove to you that I'm faithful to you. Sam's my friend and when she having a rough day I tell her things when I'm having a rough day. JUST like how you and Raven do. Sam has been going through a lot and I'm not saying that's any reason for her behavior but no matter what I do or say I just won't ever be man enough for you." He watched as she glared at him and told him she wish she had never agreed to stay there. The door of his bedroom door slammed shut and he instantly blew up. He picked up the lamp on the table and threw it across room. It hit the wall shattering in pieces. As he sat with his head hung and his heart pounding he made up his mind.
"Fuck this." He got up and grabbing his shoes and trudged into the kitchen. Jinx was sitting on the sofa her pink eyes red with tears. She asked him where he was going as he grabbed his keys. "Does it fucking matter? As if you'll fucking believe me anyways." Then he slammed the door.
That had been the worst fight he'd ever been in, with anyone person. The worst part was he knew that she was right Sam was harboring feelings for him but there wasn't really anything he could do about it. Every time he met with Sam, she turned into this whiny pathetic person, that couldn't do anything for herself. She had stopped going to group ashamed of how she thought people were looking at her. Unfortunately for him Roy answered that bloody call that night and Sam now was attached to him like a lost puppy.
With group, Jinx, and Sam, Roy found himself doubting whether what he was doing was clear anymore. He loved Jinx, that was a fact, he loved everything about her, except her constant self doubt and jealously. Sam was project, always needing to be fix and he was there because it was the right thing to do. Group was a chore. He felt himself pulling away from it everything honestly.
And it scared the shit out of him.
It happened one night when Sam had been extra needy. He did his best to calm her over text but as quoted, "nothing helps but your voice." He ignored the first three calls, but he knew Sam was persistent. He had already had the daily bickering with Jinx and he wasn't looking for more. He tossed his phone on the bed to go shower. By the time he got out, Jinx not only had changed out of her night shirt but also had gathered up her travel bag
"I know you care about her, trust me you've made that obvious. But you needed to figure out how much. I'm not playing this game Roy. I don't deserve to be second place in your life. I know you feel like you need to save her. And I'm probably being a selfish bitch but I can't take much more of this." Her voice quaked as she stood at the door.
He blinked as he began to wonder why he ever thought having a girlfriend would be a good idea. Running his hands through his hair he shook his head showing his disapproval of her leaving but knew he couldn't and wouldn't stop her. Dropping his hand it made a loud smack against his thigh as he blinked at her. "Jinx, I'm not going to argue anymore over this." He said simply. He knew if she walked out the door he had a plan already set in motion.
"I'm going out or for a drive or just something." Came her answer. As soon as the door shut, Roy moved to the kitchen and pulled out his bottle a high priced whiskey. He didn't bother taking a cup as he walked back into the bedroom. His phone lit up showing he had fifteen miss calls and seven text messages. He picked up his phone and texted the girl back, "Sam, I'm going out my phone is dead, stop fucking calling me." He lied. Then he pried off the back and threw his battery onto the floor. He spent the night watching porn and drinking until he passed out.
She had worried that once she didn't need him every second of every day that he wouldn't want her. It had gotten to the point she almost felt like he loved saving her, not her as a person. Maybe it was just the hero in him. She prayed not, but days like today that's how she felt. He'd spent an hour talking Sam out of going to get a fix. That Jinx knew she was never going to get in the first place. It was Sam's new game. But she was sure it gave Roy that same high as when he won a battle being a hero.
She'd asked him if he was going to go back to his team. Now that he was clean, and seemingly stable. He hadn't been sure, she'd told him no matter what he did assured support his choice. But deep down she wished he'd go back. Give himself that outlet for saving the world.
She sighed again shoving her phone into her tight jean pocket. She'd been steadily gaining weight and was starting to have a more feminine body again. She was back in her old bra's from before she got sick, and close to the same pant size. Her lips were a mat pink as she wore lite makeup now most days. She was getting back to her feisty self.
She walked into her apartment falling on the bed she texted him. 'Don't get me wrong I'm upset with you. But I wanted to let you know I love and miss you. I'm going to crash at my place tonight. I have a Dr. appointment to get my birth control refilled tomorrow. I'll be back after.' she was waiting for something back. An I'll miss you, a come home, or I'm sorry. Just something.
She rolled her eyes in the morning as the Dr told her, she'd have to pee in a cup to get a refill. "I'm on birth control. This is the whole point Doc. It's going to be negative." She huffed and puffed the whole time but knew that she'd need more so she compiled with his rules. She froze as her heart skipped a beat, when he came back in shaking his head. "I can't give you more. I'm sending you to get more tests, but your definitely are pregnant."
She felt her heart race. "Do it again. You have to be wrong. ." she felt tears well up. She wasn't ready to be a mother and what risk had she put the baby in with all her treatments? "Fuck.." she leaned her head back. She went to another doctor to confirm and took three different pregnancy test, they all said the same thing. She pulled out get phone and thought about texting him. But she couldn't bring herself to do. She got in her car and cried for a few minutes before pulling herself together.
She hadn't figured out if she was ready to tell him. But she needed to see him. She drove to his apartment knocking on the door. She'd put fresh make up on. Looking like nothing was wrong. She hoped today wasn't going to just be a fight.
Roy never got Jinx text from the previous night and when he woke up to see her not back he then began thinking that maybe it was good they were getting some distance apart. He put his phone back together and erased everything off it not looking or caring who was messaging him. He texted Bumble Bee asking if they could meet some where later to talk. As the day progressed Roy managed to get up move pass the near hammer like headache and got ready for the day. He when running, lifted some weights down rec center in his building and made himself a smoothie. After his shower, his head was still on the word distance. He sighed as he knew how Jinx would take the idea, but the more he thought about it the more it was sounding like a good idea. Not really a break up just a chance to cool off figure out feelings just like she had said the night prior.
He was typing out a lengthy email to the head member of the group, explaining why he wasn't going to be coming around much anymore. After that was done, he typed out a email to his landlord. His lease was up at the end of the month and with everything that was happening he was wondering what his options were going to be if he did somehow manage to get reinstated on the Titan's East. He wasn't even sure this was what he wanted but he knew something was going to have to change. The sound of a soft knock caught him unaware as he stood and opened the door.
Jinx stood in front of him and his stomach twisted, as it normally did now. 'Please God, no more fighting.' He thought as he moved to let her in.
Jinx took a deep breath she pulled out her phone. She was typing in a code as her shaky voice started with words. "What are we doing Roy?" The second half of the question came as a choked sob. "Do you even want me here anymore?" she held out her phone to him the screen display a loading bar and the words "downloading blocked messages." and Sam's number. It was time Jinx let him in on her own personal hell. The messages went back to the day of their big fight.
Jinx never knew whether or not to believe the girl. But mixed between Sam throwing Jinx's short comings was a texted that said simply. 'I'm winning you know? He told me he loves me today.' it had come in after he'd left to do whatever he did that night. And was the last message that said it was read. She could only imagine what the rest said, and often did. It plagued her thoughts.
She wondered if he'd read her texted to sunshine. She'd never said anything bad about him. She was a private person and the closest she came to talking about their personal life was messages berating herself, and asking Raven how to control ones emotions.
This would determine if she told him what the Dr.'s said. She knew she didn't want her child to hurt the way she had. She needed to know when things weren't perfect he wouldn't bolt. She stood in front of him, her eyes watching his, she looked like she may break if he responded to harshly. But her eyes begged for honesty. She hadn't told him before about Sam's texts, she didn't want more of a fight. Or for him to think she was trying to cause more trouble, but she felt now like they needed to figure this out. Once way or another.
However she took the no text back last night as a bad sign. She had laid awake almost all night curled into his shirt. Her apartment didn't feel like home anymore. With her phone in his hand he stared at the text in disbelief. Sam was truly destructive. From what he could tell as soon as he'd tell her one thing, Sam would turn right back around and text her something that obviously wasn't true.
His jaw clenched as he gripped the phone. He could feel the pressure slowly rising from this entire thing. He exhaled slowly and let his hand run through his hair. He began to weight out his options. Sam had to leave that was clear. No more trying save her no more taking late phone calls.
He placed the phone on the counter and took a deep breath. Something had to be done and he knew that it couldn't happen without her. He grabbed her arm and pulled her into his arms, something that he hadn't done since after her illness. A simple hug was never something he did, it was always more sexual. He knew she was in pain and her eyes told him that.
As soon as he opened his mouth he just spilled his heart. "Clover, Sam has brought out the worst in us and I can't keep living this way and frankly it's not healthy for you. Something got to change. So whether its we changed our numbers and move out of the city or..." His voice caught in his throat. "If we.." He wanted to say it and before she had got there he had every plan to. "I don't want to loose you." He said emphasizing the word you. "But if we don't change something I can't be in a relationship like this."
Jinx curled into his arms, her eyes flooding with tears. "I can't either ... we have to change. . It's a bit more complicated then you think though." She didn't move from her face in his chest. She needed to be right there in his arms . "I love you." She whispered softly.
Wrapping his arms around her tighter his left hand clutched her head. Matching her tone and volume he responded, "I love you too Jinx. I know its going to be a hard road but if we both work at it we can do it together." He rubbed her back and then leaned down to kiss her head. "I took your advice and got a hold of Bee."
Jinx smiled softly at him, she was glad things seemed to be turning out for the best. "I'm willing to work at it." She took a deep breath. "I'm glad baby! What if we give up our personal apartments and get one together? A place that's ours and a fresh start?"
His eyes widened as a smirk grew on his face. "Now what have I told you about using your witchiness on my brain?" He joked "you took the thought right from me." He mused. "I just send an email to the landlord about the expiring lease."
She was suddenly nervous as her pink eyes peeked up at him. Chewing on her bottom lip she spoke up, "We may want to find one with a bit more space.. and I'll have to sell mine. I bought it instead of leased it." She was trying to think of a way to bring it up her shocking confession. "But before you agree to this. . "
Jinx didn't know how to say it. She found herself stumbling over her words. "I don't know how. ..I promise I'm not trying to trap you. .. and this doesn't mean you have to stay." Her voice broke. This was all a lot to handle. "You watched me take them every day. . But some how my birth control failed.." she stated softly.
Roy blinked a few times listening to her. Processing such news he didn't know his heart could stop beating like that. "You're... " He licked his lips pulling away to look at her face. "You." He stumbled feeling the room start to spin. It all hit him at once the mood swings the constant bickering. "It's mine?" He spoke foolishly his head screaming to run. Of course it was his she only was ever with him. He had to sit down he moved to the couch and put his head between his knees.
"You aren't that far along right?" He questioned. "we can still fix this?" As he said it he knew it didn't sound right to him. She was the one that said bigger apartment. She wanted to keep this baby.
Jinx looked at the floor. "Who else's would it be Roy?" She tried to keep her emotions in check. she moved over to the sofa and sat on the edge running her hand over his back. She'd had her time to freak out now was his turn. "I can't kill "them" Roy... I just can't. But I understand if you don't want anything to do with this baby. I'll leave and you'll never have to hear another thing about it." her voice was sad but serious.
He began shaking his head. "No." He whispered. "I didn't sign up for this Jinx. I told you that what ever kids were in my future they wouldn't be around for a while." He shook his head trying not to freak out. He wondered if this was how his father felt when he was dropped with a bomb shell like this. He didn't want to lose her but she came with a cost. "You leave and then I look like the jackass the one who got a sick girl pregnant then left her high and dry."
"You're not a jackass but remember I didn't sign up for this either. But you always take risks when you play." she noted with a sigh before sitting next to him. "I'm willing to think about adoption. .. but it goes against everything I am to even think about killing a part of our love. ." She took a deep breath. She wasn't sure how to take what he was saying.
His stomach toss and turned raging a storm inside him. How could he be a father? He knew that whatever happened adoption or not. No one would look at it the as two people who accidentally got pregnant. "I want to be with you Jinx. I do. But a baby?" he questioned feeling the world was surely ending add more stuff to ever growing pile of shit that was there. "I'm sorry I can't do this right now." Then he got up and grabbed his keys. In that moment he couldn't think about anything. Everything was spiraling out of control and he never had the itch so bad as he did right then.
She grabbed his arm. "Let me go. I'll let you think on it. You should go meet Bee. Don't throw your life away Roy. Please." she begged carefully, before grabbing her phone and leaving. She had to hold in her tears as she made the drive to Jump. She texted Raven and told her they needed some girl time. She walked into the tower before calling out. "Sunshine?"
Raven turned from her spot on the couch. "Hey Jinx." she frowned as she was hit with a sudden rush of emotion. "Whats wrong?" She asked feeling as if all color and drained from her life.
Jinx jumped over the back of the sofa resting her head on the girls shoulder. "I fucked up big. My relationship is failing apart and my birth control failed. I'm feeling kinda lost." She confessed much easier than she had with Roy.
Raven exhaled slowly the weight of the girls problems was clear that she would most likely have a raging headache by the end of the night. "Wow you were joking when you said you needed a girls day." The Empath wrapped her arms around her. When she received a text from the sorceress that afternoon she figured it was just because she had a fight with Roy but this was much more serious. "Do you want to talk about or do you just want to go do girl things?" She asked softly toying her hands in the ends of her hair. She was glad she had years of practice with Star for this very reason.
"Both?" She asked carefully looking up at her. "He doesn't want to keep the baby. But I can't. . I can't kill our baby. ..and I don't think he's going to stick around. . I worry that he thinks I did this on purpose. . He doesn't want kids yet. .. hell I'm not ready to be a mom. .. I'm still confused on what to do to be honest. But I feel like I've lost him already?" She rambled out rather quickly feeling the tears fall down her cheeks. "I hate her more than anymore.. I didn't know a person could make new feel this way." She said forgetting she hadn't told Rae much about Sam.
Raven continued to run her hand through her hair listening carefully determined to get the full story before she open her big mouth. After a moment she asked, "who is the other woman? Roy cheating on you?"
"I don't think so, at least not physically, but I feel like emotionally he is. And I don't even think he realizes that's still cheating. She calls all the time, and texted and is so needy. She's a friend that he's trying to save. And I commend him for his efforts but I don't think she's willing to change." she explained sniffing every so often.
Raven bit her lip trying to search for answers for her friend. "I'm so sorry honey." She whispered unsure of what to say. "Do you want to keep your baby?" She began to turn the focus off of Roy as far as she could tell this was something that was none of her business. "How are you feeling about all this?"
"I really don't know. I think I do." She closed her eyes. "But what if I get sick again? .. and I don't pull out of it. Where would they go then?" She sighed again trying to think. "I'm feeling lost. So lost."
Raven nodded understanding completely. "Jinx I can only imagine what you going through while my powers tell me its a myriad of emotion. I just want you to know you have my support ten thousand percent. "You can even come stay here for a while if you want to figure out your next step. I just want you to know I'm here to help. So if you get sick or need someone to cry to I'll be here. Always." She stated softly.
"Could I make you and Gar the kids god parents? "She asked moving to put her head in Ravens lap. "I really don't know my next step until Red makes up his mind what he's doing."
Raven smiled as she looked down at her eyes. "I would be completely honored by that and I'm sure Gar would be as well." she smiled. "You hungry? I know right now eating is the last thing you want to do but I'm sure your body needs it now." She let her eyes trail down her stomach area.
Jinx let her tears dry for a moment. "Wanna go out for lunch, I know this cool cafe in Steele city that plays live music on the patio?"
Raven nodded "sounds perfect let me just go tell Gar I'm leaving." She got up and went to go find her boyfriend.
Meanwhile Roy sat inside a cafe as soft guitar music played in the air. He stared at the phone in his hand almost expecting her to call any second and tell him false alarm. But it never happened. He sat with a ginger ale watching people pass by. He knew she'd be there any minute and this was one conversation he wasn't looking forward to.
Raven opened the door to her room to see him playing a handheld game. She floated across the floor and then to him dropping her cloak. "Gar, I'm going out for a bit okay? Jinx is breaking down."
Gar growled. "Do I need to kill him?" He asked pausing his game.
Raven shook her head resting her hand on his chest. "No not yet. I only have one side of the story." she replied. "I love you." She gave him a kiss thankful that what ever problems they'd face at least she wouldn't have to worry about him not wanting their kids accidental or not.
Jinx drove to the cafe it had some of her favorite foods. She'd been to busy talking to Rae when she walked in to see him on the patio. Let alone her there with him. The two of them requested seats on the patio and when the hostess took them back to seat them that's when she saw the spectacle of her life. She had the worst timing in the world she was sure, there not even three tables away was Sam crawling into Roy's lap and kissing him like her life depended on it. It was all a matter of seconds but in that moment her heart shattered.
Sam moved making it look like she was kissing her way to his ear. "If I can't have you, you can't have her. You were mine first." her voice was a whisper. She waited knowing he'd see Jinx now that she'd moved her head. It was a matter of seconds. Jinx felt her powers spark, she turned to Rae. "Let's go somewhere else." She was numb, her body and mind was calm but tonight she knew would be a storm.
A/N: Thanks for reading and following guys! I hope you are enjoying the drama and soap opera of it all. *I will be going back to edit anything that I find wrong later.