Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Chapter 10
First I'd like to say thank you for the reviews, especially LoveAsh87, hugbuddy13, and xEyeKissedAGirlx.
The song in the last chapter was Next To You by Jordan Sparks.
Here's the next chapter. Let me know what you think!
Ashley's POV
Well that was by far the worst week of my life. I'm exhausted and just sitting here in the Carlin family room. I have my notebook of songs in my lap all I've written so far is the title. I Run to You. The Carlin family is all here somewhere but I was able to grab a moment alone. I am so thankful to have Mr. & Mrs. C on my side this week. If it had not been for the two of them my mom would've had my dad's ashes put in a box and stuck in the closet end of story. They insisted she do more for my sake. So today one week to the day after his death we had a funeral and reception. I didn't realize my dad had so my friends, the place was packed. Everyone has been so good to me. I don't think I would've handled any of this without Spencer, her family, and my friends. Aiden has been over here so much Spencer offered to let him sleep here on the couch. I'm glad they get along I would hate to lose Aiden but if that's what Spencer wanted I walk away from him and never look back.
"Hey Ashley are you alright? Why are you just sitting here all by yourself?"
"I'm fine Clay, I was just thinking about everything this past week. Which by the way thank you for all your support sitting in the middle of the Carlin clan gave me a really good feeling, you guys are the best."
"It's not a problem Ash, Your important to Spencer so you're important to us. That was a really nice service today. It's obvious your Dad was really well liked." I just nod my head and he say's, "So when are you and Spencer going to tell my parents?"
I just look at him for a minute then say, "Tell them what?"
He smiles at me and says, "About the two of you. I know you and Spencer are girl friends Ashley."
I frown at him and say, "When did Spencer tell you? I thought she was afraid to say anything yet."
"She hasn't said anything to me yet I just figured it out."
"Oh, so are you ok with it?"
You make my sister happy, what's not to be ok with that? I just think you two should tell my parents before someone else does."
"Well who else knows?"
"Chelsea of course and I'm pretty sure Glen knows. He hasn't said anything but I think he saw you two kissing in your car out front a few weeks ago. And really Ashley I think anyone that's close to you two can figure it out."
Just then Glen walks in and sits down on the other side of me and says' "Yeah I saw it and I'd like to know what your intentions are with my sister? I mean you do have a reputation for love 'em and leave 'em are you just going to take my sister for a ride and walk away when you're done?"
Both brothers just look at me expectantly and I feel as though my life my depended on me having the correct answer here. "Well! I love your sister very much, more than I've ever loved anyone actually. I can tell you that I have no intention of hurting her now or ever and when I think about forever your sister is first in my mind. I don't know what the future holds for us but I do know that Spencer will be in my future."
Just then she walks in looks at her brothers with narrowed eyes and says what are you two doing to her and why is she talking about losing me?"
They both look at each other with fear and I just smile and grab Spencer's hand and pull her down next to me saying, "You brother's here were just grilling me about my intentions towards their sister. Glen here says I have a reputation of love 'em and leave 'em I was just about to explain to him that it's more of a fuck 'em and leave 'em because I never loved anyone before you."
"Wait you told them about us?"
"No Spence they figured it out on their own."
"Oh!" She looked at her brothers, Clay was smiling at her and Glen was just looking at her expectantly. "Well you two need to leave Ash alone. I'll worry about her intentions without your help."
I chuckled and said, "It's ok Spence I think it's nice that they care so much about you. I mean if I had a sister and she was dating someone like me I would be all over that just like they are. But really guys I promise I won't hurt your sister."
"We'll hold you to that promise," Glen said and Clay just nodded in agreement.
"Stop it you guys leave her alone. I can take care of my self and she isn't going to do anything to me anyway."
Just then Mr. & Mrs. C walked in and asked us what we were doing. Spencer answered them saying, "Nothing just making sure Ashley is doing ok after everything today."
"How are you doing Ashley?" Mrs. C asked.
"I'm fine thank you. You have all been really great through all of this and I really want you and Mr. C to know I appreciate everything you did to make all this happen. I know if it had been up to my Mom this would have been a lot worse." At that I got up and hugged Mr. C then Mrs. C. She held on to me a little tighter and longer than usual. When she finally let me go I could see tears in her eyes but she didn't say anything just gave me a small smile and touched my cheek.
Mr. C finally said, "You don't need to thank us Ashley we love like you like our own daughter."
That was it. This week, this day, and now them telling me this, along with the fact that her brothers were concerned about our relationship but not trying to break us up that was all I could take, the brave front I had been putting on all week was now crumbling around me. I didn't know what to say or do. I just stood there shaking my head my mouth opening and closing as I felt the tears flooding my face. Spencer was right there, "Ash its ok we're all here for you." Then Paula was on the other of me wrapping her arms around me as well. Clay and Glen stood up next to their Dad and waited for me to cry it out. Spencer was aware that I hadn't cried since the night my Dad died. I know she's been worried but I just needed to be strong to get through all of this. They all just stayed right there offering their support until I was done crying. "I'm sorry you guys I just don't know what to do with all of this," I say as I gesture around at them. "I'm used to just having to taking care of myself. Thank you again for everything."
"Like Arthur said Ashley you don't need to thank us we're here for you whatever you need because that's what families do for each other."
I looked Paula in the eyes and I was again too overwhelmed to speak so I just hugged her and then the rest of them one at a time. We spent the rest of the evening just hanging out doing our own things. Chelsea came over and she and Clay disappeared to his room, Glen was busy playing guitar hero, and Mr. & Mrs. C where in and out doing whatever. Spencer and I decided to go up to her room and just hang out. We were lying on her bed she was laying on the right side against the headboard and I was lying across the foot of the bed with my head on her shins. Spencer decided to read to me out of a book of poems. It was obvious she loved this book as it was well worn. I never have been much of a poetry fan but I found I could listen to Spencer read it to and find it very soothing. If I didn't understand something she would patiently explain it to me. She is just so amazing I think I will be able to write an endless # of songs with her as my inspiration.
"Ashley stop thinking so much and listen to this one I think it my may help you."
When Tomorrow Starts Without Me
Erica Shea Liupaeter
"When tomorrow starts without me,
and I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes,
all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry,
the way you did today,
while thinking of the many things,
we didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
as much as I love you,
and each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
please try to understand,
that an Angel came and called my name,
and took me by the hand,
and said my place was ready,
in heaven far above,
and that I'd have to leave behind,
all those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
a tear fell from my eye,
for all life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
so much yet to do,
it seemed almost impossible,
that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
the good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
just even for awhile,
I'd say goodbye and kiss you
and maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,
that this could never be,
for emptiness and memories,
would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
my heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
from His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity,
and all I've promised you".
Today for life on earth is past,
but here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
but today will always last,
and since each day's the same day,
there's no longing for the past.
But you have been so faithful,
so trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things,
you knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven
and now at last you're free.
So won't you take my hand
and share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts without me,
don't think we're far apart,
for every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart."
"That was beautiful Spencer, thank you." She then closed the book and laid it down on the bedside table and crawled down so our heads were next to each other. We just laid there in silence for a bit while Spencer ran her fingers through my hair. My whole body was just relaxing at her touch. "Hey Spence since today is Thursday do you think we could skip one more day of school and go to the beach tomorrow?"
"Yeah I think it will be ok but we really need to get back to school on Monday."
"I know, I just thought it would be nice to have a day where we're not planning or having a funeral. Plus it won't be as crowed with most people in school or at work."
"Sounds good to me," She says and reaches for my hand and links her fingers with mine. We both must have dozed off because the next thing I new Paula was waking us up to come down stairs and eat something.
"Girls wake up and come down stairs and eat before it gets too late. I have a couple of plates made for you in the kitchen."
Spencer says, "Ok we'll be right down..."
"Spence, when are we going to talk to your parents about us? I think your brother's are right about the fact that we need to tell them before someone else does it by accident."
She just looks at me for a minute before saying, "What if they don't take it well?"
I walk up close to and place my hands on her arms and tell her, "Then WE will deal with it together. I promise you I won't let them or anyone keep us apart."
She still looks worried but she does relax a little. "Ok, maybe we'll do it tonight. Let's just see how they are first."
With that settled we head downstairs.
Paula's POV
"Arthur I don't know how much longer I can wait for Spencer to talk to us about what's going on with her and Ashley."
"Paula just gives her a little more time. We've had way too much going on this past week for her to come to us."
"Ok I'll wait a little longer."
Spencer's POV
We walked into the kitchen and there were two plates waiting for us at the table. My Dad was standing by the sink with a beer in hand looking at us with a small smile. Mom was at the sink washing up some dishes. Dad asks me, "Are you going to school tomorrow girls?"
"If it's ok we'll go back on Monday. Ashley wants to go to the beach tomorrow."
Mom stopped and turned around, "That should be fine. What about your Mom Ashley, is she expecting you to come home?"
"No ma'am, she said she has all the legal stuff to take care of and said she will call me if she needs me for anything."
Once we had finished our food we washed up our dishes and then I asked my parents if we could talk to them. My Mom looked at my Dad as if she already knew what we wanted to tell them. My stomach was now threatening to heave ho with the food I just ate.
"Of course, let's go into the family room," Dad said.
We sat down across from my parents and I grabbed Ashley's hand. "So I ah um need to tell the two of you something about myself and about Ashley and I. We well of that is I ... um yeah ok so the thing is I am g... or ah I'm in lo...," I let out a sigh and look at Ashley. She just nods her head at me and smiles while squeezing my hand. I then look back at my parents who are looking at me expectantly and say, "I'mgayandinlovewtihAshley." There I said it. Oh God please don't let them freak. Ashley is silently chuckling and whispers "You said that kinda fast don't ya think?" I just shrug my shoulders and squeeze her hand a little tighter.
My Dad looks at my Mom and says, "See I told you she would come to us when she was ready." Ashley and I look at each other with confused looks then look back at my parents and say in unison, "You already know?"
They just stare at us for a moment then my Mom says, "Yes Spencer we know." She then looks at Ashley and while pointing her finger at her says, "You my dear girl better not even think of living up to, what was it you called it? oh yeah fuck em' and leave em' reputation because it's very clear that my daughter is falling for you and falling hard." Ashley just sits there with her jaw hanging open while it's clear my mother is waiting for and answer so I jab her in the side with my elbow.
"Oh ah no ma'am you don't need to worry about that I assure you I'm very much in love with Spencer and have no intention of hurting her now or ever."
"Well I do worry very much and I'll tell you I wasn't real happy about this at first for my own personal reasons but my relationship with Spencer is far more important to me to lose her over this and by this I don't mean you Ashley I mean her being gay. But I will say you still have a lot to prove to me, you know Arthur and I have grown very fond of you in fact as we've said we do love you, but you still have my daughter's heart in you hands and that concerns me."
Ashley straightens up and looks my mother in the eye and says, "I understand why you feel the way you do and all I can say is I wont let you down. You and Mr. C have been just been so good to me and I don't mean just dealing with my Dad but even before that. Spencer told me you were going to give me a chance and I appreciate that. I know trust comes with time so I'll just do my best to earn and keep yours."
"This is why I love her so much." I say with a smile and pull her in for hug. As I do I whisper into her ear, "I'm so proud of you." She just hugs me tighter and says, "All because of you."
My parents both stand up and my Dad says, "Well I think this has been a long day for everyone especially Ashley and we could all use a good night's sleep so we're going to head up to bed. How about you two, are you ready for bed?"
"Yeah Dad thanks for everything today. Good night. I love you both."
"Yeah goodnight and thanks again Mr. & Mrs. C."
"Goodnight girls. See you in the morning."
With that they left us alone there on the couch. We just sit there and look at each other for a minute. "Wow Ash that went a lot better then I expected it to."
"You have really good parents Spence. You're very lucky."
"I'm lucky because I have you. Lets go to bed I'm beat." I stand up and reach for her hand. She grabs mine and we head up to bed both feeling a lot better about things and looking forward to the beach tomorrow.