Kyo's fingers brushed endlessly against the now-crumpled paper, worn from his incessant grip on it. How could such an offer come at a time like this, when everything seemed to be looking up? I guess that's how things work. Give you something great than take away just as much, he thought angrily, his eyes darkening. His hand balled up in a fist, scrunching the paper once again. But why now?

It was an offer, an offer to not only get away from this life but to escape captivity, for a while longer at least. He could live his life for that much longer, but only if he left. If he left behind his home, his family, his friends…could he leave all that behind? But is there anything really left here for me to stay for? He wondered, quickly repressing the thought, because of course, there were still people who loved him like Shishou, possibly Kagura (even though it was strange) and he still had school. At first he thought the mere thought of having nothing left was selfish, childish; but then it occurred to him that here he may not have a future. Soon he would age, he would become an adult; it was inevitable. He could take over from Shishou at the dojo, train to become a sensei and eventually own the dojo; he could imagine the pride in his masters eyes as he looked at him teaching, he---

Kyo took a sharp intake of breath, closing his eyes and rubbing his temples harshly. He had to stop thinking about the future that way. He knew there was nothing left there, nothing but emptiness. Shishou could never look at him that way, and he could never take over the dojo. If he tried, it would only cause him and others more pain than before—to drop his dreams when they weren't even completed, to have a glimpse of the future he might have, making it almost tangible, almost in his reach; he couldn't do that to himself. It was better not try and grasp at what he knew would be ripped away from him as soon as he was near true happiness.

He opened his eyes and suddenly they looked innocent, unguarded, and profoundly sad. Thoughts of Tohru flashed against his mind, the last time they had met; he wondered if she would even remember that meeting on the roof. The possibilities were she would forget almost every encounter with him they had had so far. At first, when Yuki had told him that Tohru could remember, that he had spoken to her and there had been recognition in her eyes, he had doubted him. But after he had seen proof, he had been unbelievably happy, he had felt that hope, that joy in his chest rise up; he had felt like a man who had been deprived of breath and suddenly found he was breathing again, who had found he was slowly coming back to life.

It was true; she could remember certain things. But whether those flashes of memory would be permanent, whether should would remember the last thing they had said to each other…how could he live like this? Forgetting him, constantly, every declaration of love just as similar to the last, every progress erased…there was nothing else but fragments in her mind. To live through that would be to break down piece by piece.

There was nothing in his future here but possible pain. Pain at finally being with Tohru, feeling the joy he's always dreamed of and knowing she feels it too—and then having her ripped away from his grip, watching her change from a distance (because it was definite, erasing her memory like that…it changed her as a person, even if she hadn't noticed) walking closer and closer to that damn dark future, losing his family, losing the sky, the sun, goddamn, even the smell of the freakin' air…

He couldn't do it. He just couldn't.

He sat up on his bed, opening the paper back up and reading it again.

----------------------

I was visiting around a temple that was currently hosting a small festival, celebrating the fall. People crowded the streets, hustling and bustling and wearing the dimming colors that tended to arrive with the colder weather. Lanterns hung in the streets attached to cords, and little arts and crafts could be found everywhere, as well as the hot steam of food and vendors nearby. Everything felt so alive; I loved being where other people were, just gazing and trying to absorb as much as possible.

I traveled along the shelves, staring at the little statues all lined up together. Strangely it reminded me of something, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. They were of little tiny animals, statues made of clay and some painted rocks, and they were all really cute. The zodiac animals, all lined up. My eyes drifted curiously over to a sign that hung next to them, with a signature of S.S and a small face of an almost over-excited happy face drawn quickly with an ink pen. Perhaps this mysterious person was a growing artist? My mind whirled with all the possibilities of this secret person, imagining a man of great talent who was kept hidden from the world.

My mind whirled with anticipation, and I took a second to look around me, to try and spot someone familiar. Mostly everyone was there with someone else, holding hands, lovers talking excitedly to each other, faces flushed and fingers intertwined. I stood there alone, feeling suddenly small and flexed my fingers carefully, not wanting to look apart. Even though I was. I felt my heart sink a little bit.

Haru doesn't like me that way, I thought to myself, and for the first time in days, even though I had been repeating it to myself a few times, a stray thought, I had never really confirmed it. What about Yuki? He was my friend, a close friend who had watched over me when I was sick…for sure, I felt blush rise to my cheeks just thinking about him, but…but what?

My brow furrowed. Why did I always feel this way? I felt like I was missing something…no. I had to stop denying it. I was missing someone, and I—I had a feeling that I had never even heard of before, something that went past love. It was like I saw that person when I closed my eyes, only a glimpse of him but he was there, like even if I didn't know who he was, I could feel it, like it was an instinct, like it was the last thing I clung onto. But…that just didn't make any sense.

I huffed out a breath of air, watching the mist rise in front of me and smiled. I knew what Mom would say. Love is something to be treasured, so stop fretting over it. I had a feeling that if I knew I loved him, I would find him.

A boy passed by, and he was selling flowers. The vendor was a small boy and he gave me such big eyes that he reminded me of Kisa and it was all I could do not to grab him in my arms and start sending out little tiny imaginary hearts all around us. I looked at all the roses, tulips and other assortments he had in his basket, all of them still fresh-looking with moisture hanging on their petals and their scent still very strong. I picked out a flower, a lily, and smelled it, smiling as the beautiful, soft scent enveloped me. I loved them so much! I paid the boy and he ran off, leaving me to observe the flowers I had gotten.

I heard the song of a bird and looked up, searching for the source. It was a really beautiful melody, and as soon as one went off, at least half a dozen others began as well, a trilling beautiful song, joyous yet short, and I felt sad to have it over. I saw the birds, flying away, dispersing around a girl about my age, flailing at them wildly and laughing, grinning widely as she ran after them, her scarf trailing behind her from her neck. And then I looked over to the boy standing next to her, his smile faint as he watched her, and I could tell he hadn't smiled for a while and this was the first time. Then he turned his head, and in my eyes time seemed to slow; people walking through the streets seemed to halt, the movement of the flying birds suspended, and his eyes met mine.

Brown. They were brown. And his mouth opened a bit, his eyes wide. He had orange hair.

Our eyes met, and suddenly time sped up again, people passing by in front of us, but our gaze never broke. It was like I was entranced. Maybe I was. Somehow I still managed to hold onto the flowers in my grip.

The boy looked away suddenly, promptly breaking our gaze. Was it just an illusion, or did I see guilt flash in his eyes? I blinked once, for the first time in a while, and noticed I couldn't move, like I was frozen in place. I looked away, also, feeling awkward. It was impolite to openly stare at people I didn't know, but there was something there—I had thought something when I saw him—but no, it was gone. I had forgotten already. I looked up again, cautiously this time, and found him looking at me. I could tell…I'm not sure how, but I could tell he wanted to look at me, but for some reason hated himself for doing so, punished himself. It was clear from the flushed look of sadness in his eyes. I looked back, trying to say everything I felt in one look.

Why are you here? I asked. And the answer I received was,

I don't know.

--------------------------

Kagura dumped her things in front of Kyo's feet.

"I heard about the letter," she said hotly, her cheeks flushed. "And I'm telling you right now I'm not going to stand for it."

Kyo looked up at her, looking mildly surprised and he wondered, almost irritated, how she had come by the information, but really he was too tired to deal with her. He fell back on his bed, deciding to ignore her.

"Kyo-kun!" she whined. "Don't do this to me!" Yeah, right. Ignoring was a great idea.

"Kagura, it's not your choice." He muttered, and closed his eyes. He heard her stomp her foot, and he could tell by the sound of it she would be wearing an indignant expression.

"But it is, Kyo, that's what you keep forgetting!" she pronounced every word sharply. "I love you, I love you so much, and you always brush me off like I'm nothing. But I swore to you that I would always be by your side, and now you think you can just move away? Leave me behind?" Her voice was rising dangerously, and all of a sudden she went very quiet, sending alarms off in Kyo's mind. He sat up very fast, opening his eyes.

"Kagura," he said cautiously, seeing his cousin's hair shadowing her face and her fists balled up. "Calm down." He worried about his room, and the things he couldn't lose.

"I'll only calm down, Kyon," she said through her teeth. "If you take me to the festival. As a date." Kyo clenched his jaw, gritting his teeth just as hard. That was how she was going to play it, then. Threaten him. Well he wasn't her bitch, no matter how tired and emotional he felt.

"Go to hell, Kagura," he growled, and then got up, walking out of the room. He didn't care, he would take the beating he knew was coming. He really, truly, did not care even if his pride was wrecked. But he got passed the door, then down the hall, and then he stopped, noticing something was wrong. He spun around on his heels, backtracking. She hadn't thrown him through the wall, she hadn't beaten his face in. So what happened?

He walked back to his room, his brow set curiously, and found her sitting on the floor against his bed, the sheets of his bed pressed against her face, and she was crying. Kyo looked at her, surprised and totally uncomprehending, and she just kept crying.

"Hey," he said shakily, reaching out his hand. Damn it, damn it! He said in his mind. He was never good with crying girls. It was, in a way, his weak spot. He always felt out of place and awkward, especially when he was the reason they were crying.

"Kyo," she said quietly, and the removed the blankets from her face, revealing red eyes and tears streaming down her cheeks. She looked extremely fragile, compared to the contrast of what he had imagined her looking like when she attacked him, and he felt a shock pulse through him. "Think of what you're doing. Not what you're leaving behind, or what you're losing…because obviously none of that matters to you, I get it! But please, just for yourself, please, please just come to this festival with me. You're…you're dying in here, and I feel so helpless just standing here and watching you wilt away and only understanding what I can see in your eyes," she covered her mouth, looking shocked like she hadn't planned to say that at all, like she had written down a speech and suddenly new and totally unplanned words came flowing out of her mouth. But Kyo's eyes softened, and he knelt down beside her, wanting her tears to stop, and suddenly understanding. He took her hand.

"It's alright, Kagura," he said softly. "I'll come with you." She smiled weakly, and her tears were gone almost right away. Then she jumped up to her feet, and smiled widely.

"Alright, let's be off, then!" and she raced out of his room, probably out of the house before he even put his coat on. He shook his head, feeling bewildered and looked back just once at the crumpled letter on his bed.

Maybe she had heard about the offer to move, but she had left out one important thing. His eyes drifted to the floor, feeling his chest turn heavy, and he decided not to think about it, to block it off until later. He shut his door.

* * * * * * * * *

Kagura gripped his hand tightly, making cooing noises at all the pretty things he could find—but Kyo felt distracted. He told himself to stop thinking, stop thinking about anything at all and just go with the crowd, just follow Kagura, but he still felt empty. Too much had happened for him to really feel good again. But he tried, and Kagura's smile reached beamed every time he did. It made him feel a bit better, if only a bit.

He observed her as she pointed things out to him, rummaging through different eye masks, pointing out ones that would look good on him for the ball and dropping anvils of hints. He tried to smile, not saying yes or no or anything relevant at all, just silent and approving.

He watched the way her hair swung over her shoulders, how it shone in the sunlight, and how her movements were quick, clumsy, and almost impulsive but strangely…cute. She was wearing a short dress, and excitement almost rolled off her in waves, and suddenly he considered something, something that had never came to mind; she was pretty. Really, she was, but that wasn't why he started thinking of her as nice. She tried. However vague that may seem, it was wholly and completely true. Every inch of her was trying for him, trying to cheer him up. She knew something was wrong, and she was putting every fibre of her being into the effort for him. He felt a ghost of a smile on his face, an empty laugh rise to his throat. People did love him, but for what? Why should the love him? He was empty, and his future was empty. But he decided to pretend, for now at least.

She dragged him along the streets, and he watched as her scarf trailed after her, slapping against his chest. Her wide eyes looked back at him, encouraging him along, and suddenly broke out into a run. He exclaimed, and was forced to run with her, and suddenly felt something in his chest. At first he thought it was the heaviness of running, but then he heard it, and it was hard to believe himself; laughing. And why shouldn't he? He was having fun, he was running, he was on a date, he should laugh. They both stopped, standing beside a flock of birds.

"You're smiling," she noted, her eyes sparkling as she looked up at him.

"Yeah," Kyo confirmed, feeling his face flush a bit. Kagura's laugh was almost a tinkering, and she threw her arms in the air, sending the birds flying away in a wonderful song, a song that equalled the one in his heart.

And then he saw her.

She was there, standing not too far away from him, her brown hair blowing into her face, wide eyes, beautiful eyes, her face soft, her heart almost calling out to him, and he wanted to run, run over to her and grab her in his arms and tell her he was scared, that he wanted to know if she felt it too, and please, Tohru, I miss you—and suddenly memories from their time on the rooftop, after school—suddenly it all flooded back into his mind, pain like a knife in his chest, and he wondered if she remembered, remembered the kiss he had given her, softly, on her forehead. The tears he had dried. The feelings he had revealed.

But her look was awed, as if there was a flicker of memory there, but nothing more.

Nothing more.

He felt a pained sound stick in his throat and he swallowed it, looking away, back at Kagura. She was still happily running around, and suddenly he felt disconnected from that world he had shared with her moments before. Frustration in his heart, he looked down to the ground. But something was pulling him, like a magnetic force, like something in the middle of his chest, dragging his gaze upwards. He looked again, not knowing why. And she looked up, moments later. Their eyes met. Questions flowed between them, none answered.

And then he took a step forward, toward the girl that meant the world to him. He wondered if she had ever known that.

------------------

Haru left his bike leaning against a wall and ran over to the CD stand, digging through it with great interest, searching for the newest album of his favourite band. Usually he would just put them on his iPod, but it was almost a ritual for him to buy the CDs. He didn't get too many stares while he was here; most people looked like him, so he felt comfortable. Although the odd girl would stare at him—that was inevitable. I mean, of course it is, my bike is so sexy, why wouldn't they stare? he thought.

His white hair was brushed upwards today, a black shirt sticking to his chest and a metal cross around his neck. His black arm tattoos showed under his sleeves, and he picked up a CD from a stand, his face victorious as he observed it.

He almost dropped it as he heard a crash behind him, loud and clanking. He turned sideways to look at the culprit. It seems that a girl had tripped over a trash can, and was staring in his direction with a piercing gaze. Her long black hair blew in the wind, looking like ink in solid form, and she seemed to be staring straight at—no, through Haru, straight through him, her intent look almost scary.

"Rin," he breathed, amazed, feeling his heart skip a beat then race. He dropped the CD he had been holding entirely, and ran in her pursuit. She had booked it as soon as their eyes had met. Damn she's fast, he growled inwardly, and cursed himself for not taking his bike.

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A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for taking so long to finally publish this one, but here it is! After a bit of encouraging from reviewers (you know who you are! ;) ) I finally gave myself a kick in the butt and finished this next chapter. I hope you guys like it, and are still interested :D thanks a lot for your support, you guys are wonderful readers 3 \o/