Sam turned around from his seat; pointing outside. Following his gaze, I looked out the window of the impala. My eyes widened in excitement. "A Carnival!" I exclaimed, taking my earphones out, allowing the bright lights of the Ferris wheel to control my eyes. This brought back a lot of memories of my childhood. I used to sneak in to a carnival every year near the orphanage and just walk around. I didn't have money to buy anything but that didn't bother me. The main reason I went there was because of how kind the people were at that place. Even though they were a whole lot older than me, I considered them my friends. In a way, it made me feel like I fit in well.

"We can go now, if you want to?" Dean asked, attracting my attention.

I looked at Dean through the rearview mirror who was smiling, looking back.

We were only three hours away from the bunker and it had been quite a hunt earlier. But I didn't want to seem spoiled. "You guys are tired, so it's okay. Maybe some other time," I said, pushing it off with a wave.

"Me? Tired? It's gonna take more than a hunt to make me tired, Liz. Come on, let's go. I know you want to," Dean said, seeing right through me.

Sam laughed. "Yeah, we all know that nothing comes between you and a carnival. Say, you guys can actually get down here and I'll just go to the bunker. Call me once you've enjoyed your hearts out," he suggested.

"Still scared of clowns, eh Sammy?" Dean asked jokingly, making funny faces at me through the mirror.

Sam rolled his eyes. "I'm not scared. I'm just not fond of them," he denied. "You know, just like how you are not fond of flying." Sam did inverted comas in the air.

"Point taken," Dean said, giving in.

I snickered at the back causing both of them to laugh. And there we were, like a bunch of yahoos laughing in the impala because we were actually happy; for real. These were one of those times when I felt like a kid again. It was like Sam and Dean were giving me another chance to relive my childhood. I have to admit that they made me feel like I was their younger sister. I know that Sam and Dean are always saying that I am family and family doesn't end with blood but sometimes facts are facts, right? No matter what they say, biologically I'm not even close to family. But it's these little things they do for me that make me feel part of their family.

Just as usual, there was some form of negativity in me. So far, this week has been going fine for me. I didn't mess up any hunts, Sam and Dean didn't bicker about anything, and even Alfie and I were doing fine. Of course I was still trying to get used to the fact that I'm not the only one in my head at the moment; in a way I don't feel very burdened anymore. It's like I'm carrying one side of the problem and Alfie is carrying the other side. Things are just too good that I'm preparing myself for the worst. Something bad is going to happen, I just don't know when.

The impala came to halt at a few feet away from the entrance of the carnival. I stepped out at the same time as Dean. Stretching out, I looked further in the carnival. The lights were so bright and colourful at night. The sound of laughter filling the air brought goosebumps. My mind went back to all those times the nuns would come to the carnival searching frantically for me. Sometimes I wonder why did they even care? Wasn't it better? One less mouth to feed? I would have loved to work in a carnival or just stay there.

"Let's go," Dean said, bringing me back to the present.

I turned to wave at Sam. As we entered, I could smell the sweetness of cotton candy in the air. Both Dean and I sniffed it at the same time. We looked at each other with our eyes widened; and goofy grins all over our faces. "Do you smell that?!" I asked excitingly, jumping while holding unto Dean's arm.

"I do! I do!" Dean said in a squeaky voice, imitating my voice and jumping enthusiastically. Bu I knew he was being sarcastic.

I smiled, rolling my eyes at his childishness. "I'm serious Dean! It's definitely cotton candy; no doubt."

"You're craving sugar, Liz. That's not good," Dean said while walking forward.

"Says the man who gobbles down meat like there's no tomorrow."

Dean scoffed. "Woah. Sugar and meat, huge difference."

"You seriously don't want to start a debate with me," I warned him while crossing my arms.

Dean squinted in defeat and stuck out his tongue at me. "Let's find this cotton candy, eh?" he asked, smiling.

I nodded. Dean and I both knew that there wasn't anything special about the cotton candy that we were able to smell from the entrance. It was just like any ordinary cotton candy; we could tell. But cotton candy has always been my favourite treat whenever I'm at a carnival. I still remember the first carnival I ever snuck into.

Flashback

"Who wants to say grace today?" Sister Judith asked while we held each other's hand at the dinner table.

There were around fifteen children of different age seated. It was only seven o' clock; one hour before bed time. The seats both on my left and right were empty (just as usual) while the other children were sharing seats.

"Anne, are you comfortable sharing that seat with Joan?" Sister Eunice asked. "You can always sit next to Elizabeth," she suggested.

I was looking down at my bowl of mushroom soup but I sneaked a peak at Anne and Joan who were both two years older than me; I was twelve at that time. I could see how their eyes widened at the suggestion.

"I'm fine here," Anne said, sighing in relief.

I looked up from my bowl and flashed a smile at Sister Eunice for her effort of getting someone to sit next to me. I was quite used to it but it did sting. I never really knew why no one ever liked me but I tried my best to pretend to go unaffected. It took quite a lot to be thick skin; to walk around pretending that I preferred to be alone while the truth was that it killed me from the inside. But there was something good that came out of it. Spending a lot of time with me and my mind made me realize certain habits of mine and in a way I became too matured for my age. It's like I grew up too fast.

"Why don't you try, Elizabeth," Sister Judith said.

Unlike the other children who would usually whine when they are appointed, I nodded. "Let's pray," I said while closing my eyes and stretching a little to reach the hands of the other children who were one seat away. "Heavenly father who art in heaven, thank you for gathering us here on this wonderful day. Thank you for the food that you have given to us. I pray that you will continue to bless us in many ways to come. In your name, we ask and pray. Amen," I ended.

The others followed along. I opened my eyes to find them staring at me like I was a freak. I knew that for a 12 year old, my prayer should have sounded very simple and childish just like how the others would normally say. I took pride in the fact that I had just impressed them. It's like they knew that I was a loner but not a blur, shy one; but actually someone who knew what they were doing.

After dinner, I went straight to my room. On the way, I passed by Anne and Joan's room.

"What do you think happened to her parents?" I heard Joan's voice, asking.

"They left her, if I'm not mistaken."

Joan snorted. "Of course. Even her parents couldn't stand her."

"She's just one of those weird freaks who will soon grow up to be a psychotic serial killer...and become Chucky!" Anne said giggling with Joan. I could hear the springs of the bed so I assumed they were jumping on their beds.

I tried to push their conversation to the back of my head and walked to my room. Entering it, I gave the empty bed a glance. I didn't have a roommate but I never really did anything to the bed. I guess a little part of me had hopes that things would change. I switched on the fan and stood next to the light switch, ready to spring unto my bed just as I switched it off. I was afraid of the dark or rather what was in it.

Getting under the covers, I looked out of my window. It was the colourful ferris wheel. I knew it was the carnival that has been here for more than a week now. I've been looking at it every night before going to sleep. It was the only thing in the sky. Just like me, the ferris wheel was all alone in the sky and yet it looked beautiful; like it was happy. Just then, a thought came to me. I wanted to look at it up close.

I knew what the real reason was. Anne and Joan's words were still in my head and I just wanted to do something to get my mind off it. So I took my flashlight and climbed down through my window. Thankfully, my room was situated on the ground floor of the orphanage.

I will never forget the feeling when I first entered the carnival. The place was crowded but it was filled with laughter. And they were all sorts of people there, different people; different like me. I walked to a bunch of children who were surrounding a clown. He was blowing balloons and shaping them; giving them to some of the children. After a few minutes, the children left with their parents and I was the only one who was with the clown.

He turned to look at me. "Hey little kid. You want another balloon?"

I shook my head. I was happy with one lion shaped balloon. "No."

The clown frowned in confusion. "Where are your parents, kid?"

I shrugged. I've been asking myself this question for a long time never got an answer.

"You must be lost. It's okay, don't be afraid," he said when I hesitated to take his hand that he had offered. "I'm your friend," he said.

My first friend. He was definitely older than me but he was still my friend. I smiled at that thought and place my hand in his. We walked around the carnival for around thirty minutes. He kept asking me if I saw my parents anywhere as we walked. But of course they weren't there. He brought me to a stall that was covered with fluffy pink and blue clouds.

"Jeff, we've got a missing kid here," the clown said to the guy who was in charge of this stall.

The guy looked at me and smiled at my fascination of the fluffy clouds. "You want one?" he asked me, causing the clown to look at me and smile.

I nodded. The clown took a blue one and handed it to me. I didn't know what to do with it. It was just really pretty. Seeing how blur I was, the clown tore one part of it. "They're called cotton candy. This is how you eat them," he said, demonstrating. He placed it on his tongue and showed how it magically disappeared.

I did the same and boy was it sweet. I was more interested with how it vanished so quickly. I followed the clown for the rest of the night as he made announcements of a missing child. Then from a distance, I could hear Sister Judith's voice and I knew that it was over. She talked to the clown. He bent down to my level. "I had fun. Did you?"

I nodded but I didn't say anything because I knew that it was time to go.

"We'll be back next year. You can always swing by and we can hangout," the clown said, brushing his finger on my cheek.

My heart raced at his suggestion. He actually wanted to hangout with me. I smiled at it. "Bye," I said as Sister Judith grabbed my hand roughly; yanking me behind her.

I looked back at the clown who was waving at me. That was it. A few hours of joy and happiness; gone with the wind. Just like a cotton candy.

"We should come to carnivals more often," Dean said, bringing back to reality.

We had found the stall and purchased two sticks of blue cotton candy. Now we were just seated on the bench looking at the starry sky. "I know. This is just too sweet, "I said savouring the sugar that melted in my mouth.

"No. Not for the cotton candy."

I looked at Dean in confusion.

"You're happy," he said. "I'm sure you know it too."

He was right but it wasn't because of the carnival only. Everything played a part. But like I said earlier, things were going too well that I was just waiting for something to mess it up.

"And I wish that I could see this smile on your face every day," he continued. "There was a time that you had that smile on but it was just a mask. But tonight," he trailed off, just looking at me, his eyes traveling all across my face. "Tonight, it's real. I wish I was able to make you happy like this every day."

I didn't know what to say so I tried to stay away from the topic. "That's the sugar talking," I said tearing a piece off his cotton candy and holding it above his mouth. I was waiting for him to open his mouth but instead he grabbed my wrist and looked me straight in the eyes.

"But I'm not lying. I just wish time would just stop here and keep you happy. And I'd do anything to be the reason behind that smile."

Just then my stomach grumbled. Dean's eyes widened. "Woah, someone's hungry."

I was thankful that my stomach grumbled, distracting Dean but it also meant that Dean was going to make me eat something heavy now. I was okay with just snacking on the cotton candy. I was quite proud of myself for actually not eating for the entire day. I knew that there was no use in lying to Dean.

"Hot dog?" he asked in suggestion.

I just nodded because right now, I would eat anything that came in my way. That's how hungry I was. Dean ate the cotton candy that was still in my hand and got on his feet, rubbing his hands on his leather jacket. We headed to one of the hot dog stalls that we had passed by earlier.

Approaching it, I saw a very familiar figure behind the grill. He then turned around. "How may I help you?"

"Alfie?!" I asked out loud, forgetting that Dean was next to me.

Dean furrowed his eyebrows. "You know him?"

So heres an update just like I promised on Friday :) Just wanted to show what kind of environment Liz grew up in. Oh and that clown is COUGHSOMEONECOUGHSHECOUGHKNOWSCOUGH just wanted to put that out there. ;) oh and thank you Dean's Bakery! At least I have a name to thank to now and stay strong :) Don't forget to favourite, follow and review…Till next friday