Hi loves! As I promised to you, here's the 10th chapter. I'm really proud I reached it, because it's really hard for me to keep doing the things I start, and I want you to know that I'm still here for you. So, enjoy this chapter, after all, this is for you. Don't forget I don't own anything but the writing, and our cuties belong to Cassie Clare.

Words count: 1.646.

Alec went upstairs, breathing heavily because of exhaustion. He was immersed in his thoughts again. Despite what happened between him and Magnus, this time outside really helped him. He felt better, finally ready to think about their problem. After all, in those few minutes he survived a demon attack, he could hug Magnus and touch his face, and he also said what he was so afraid to, the words "I love you". But of course, "Aku cinta kamu" was way more special. It represented the bond between them, something beyond love; the certainty that Magnus would always love Alec and Alec would always love Magnus – forever - and he finally said it. Not that that changed anything, again.

Alec sighed. He could almost feel good after what he'd done, if it wasn't for the permanent look of Magnus showing over and over in his head. He let out a final air and then he entered the loft.

The blue-eyed shadowhunter could see that Luke and Jace were talking about what'd be the best way to discover new information about the demons; Clary was talking to Simon, something about some things called manga, – he wondered what was that, and suddenly a memory of Max holding one of those comic books showed up in his mind. He mourned in silence – while Jocelyn kept telling Clary what were the rules for her tours with Jace and asking Isabelle to keep an eye on them, for which his sister just nodded; He saw too when Jocelyn smiled at Luke, professedly in love, and he smiled back, with the same passion in his eyes. After that he smiled too, although he felt a huge need of Magnus on that moment – it was so good to be in love, he thought.

The first one to see Alec there was Simon. He opened a large smile, receptive.

"Alec! Come here!" He put of one the vacant chair next to his.

The gaze of everyone turned to Alec. No one said anything, but Alec knew what they were thinking. Why did you stayed for so long outside? Did he see Magnus? Is he finally alright? Since he didn't want to hear the beginning of the questions and he knew he wouldn't escape from Jace's sarcasm, he's the one who started talking.

"Hey guys, what did I miss?"

"Actually, not much..." Jace started to talk and Alec heard, attentive to what Jace was saying, although he had the impression that in that moment he knew more than anyone about those demons. "We were just thinking in a way to destroy them."

"Alec, are you better?" It was Isabelle, truly worried about him.

"I am Izzy, don't worry." He smiled at her sister, who seemed to calm down.

"You just… you just stayed out for so long… I was worried, you know?"

"I know. But I'm fine."

"Fine, then. We can talk later about it." She said, and joined the group formed by Jace, Clary, Luke, Jocelyn and Isabelle. They started talking about the weapons they could use to defeat the demons. Alec sat next to Simon, who put a hand on his shoulder and said in a low voice.

"I'm sorry."

"You're sorry for…" he started and then remembered of Simon's great hearing, he'd always forgotten his vampire skills. "Oh, thank you." Alec smiled with sadness. Simon, after all, turned out to be a great friend that helped him to go through the break up with Magnus.

"I couldn't even see that something was wrong until Magnus came up. You know I didn't want to hear what I heard, don't you?"

"I do. But even so, thank you. For everything." In that time, the smile that Alec opened to Simon wasn't sad, it showed gratitude.

Simon was going to answer, but he couldn't. Jace interrupted him, seeming to be very bored with all that stuff.

"So, Alec, what happened out there?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that you wouldn't stay for so long out there for any reason. You think I'm a fool?"

"OF COURSE you're not!" Everything Alec didn't need was Jace curious about his love life. "Nothing happened. I just talked to Magnus."

Clary let out a muffled song that seemed to be a scream. Jace looked triumphant.

"So… does that mean that we'll have a son of Lilith here too? Please, don't tell me you forgot to talk about this with him."

"I didn't forget okay? He just didn't want to come."

Magnus climbed to the second floor of his loft, breathless, and buried his body in his bed. In the same second, tears started to burn down his face. So many tears he couldn't even count. He held his pillow, searching for air; even through a part of him didn't want to breathe. The warlock let out a sound that seemed to be something located between a cry and a complaint, a request for help, a whisper, and a lament.

"But it will always be you". Magnus sank again into tears, feeling something crush his throat or maybe his heart. Now he was compulsively crying, like someone who had his heart-broken for the first time, like someone who had lost everything. He sighed again, in a loud tone, madly trying to stabilize himself. For his surprise, it worked. He kept doing that, pulling and releasing air, until he finally reached his sanity. Not that that made him feel better.

Actually, the awareness of all that had happened felt like a blow to Magnus. The screaming voices, - "If you want to be strong, you can't allow yourself to love" – Alec, - his touch, his light, his eyes – the love that he felt for him, – "It's been you. It's been you since the day we met." "Aku cinta kamu" - and everything else – the party, the kiss, the hidden romance, the fearless rune, the war in Alicante, Camille, hope, the break up; he saw all those flashes pass in his mind, remembering every single thing he'd felt, and what just happened some minutes ago.

He went to his bathroom, washed his face, looked himself in the mirror, wore his best clothes, put a lot of glitter in his hair and finally, after all that sadness, smiled. He locked his apartment and looked to the shadowhunter's loft and closed his eyes. Alec would be probably mad at him, heartbroken, but Magnus didn't think twice. When he thought about everything that happened he realized that every second of it was worth. After that, he started up the stairs to the shadowhunters' loft.

"Oh… he just didn't want to come…" said Jace, grinning. "Why?" The irony completely dominating his voice; Jace was so ironic that Alec wanted to punch him.

"Because he didn't WANT to!" – Jace made Alec angry, as he always did.

"Jace, could you be a decent person just for once, for a change?" It was Clary, who seemed to be angrier than Alec. Of course, Alec thought, that's the reason why Jace had been an idiot in the past few days: problems with Clary… again.

"No" said Jace, and opened a big smile, just to piss Clary. Judging by her expression after his response, it worked. "Tell me, brother, what happened?" He looked around; Jocelyn, Isabelle and Luke were quiet, they certainly knew Jace well enough to distinguish when he was ready to shoot anyone who stands in front of him. "Did my prophecy come true? Was him making out with someone? Or better, was him dating someone? Let's do a round of betting! I think that now he's with another shadowhunter… What about you? We have a varied menu that includes shadowhunters, vampires, werewolves, fairies, and who knows what else, right?"

Alec felt all the self-control he was holding on to disappear. Jace's words made him burn inside, not of pain or sadness – he knew that Magnus wasn't with anyone – but of rage. After everything that he'd been through, he didn't have to listen to Jace's ironic speeches. He tightly held his parabatai and pushed him against the wall. Jace's golden eyes were black, and there were a kind of threat in his look. Alec counted to 10 and calmed down, still holding Jace by the shirt.

He was ready to start the moral lesson. "What do you think you're doing?" he'd say, but when he was going to, the door opened. Alec didn't look at it until Luke pronounced one word.

"Magnus?!"

Alec quickly dropped Jace, and turned around. When his eyes met with Magnus', he felt it all again – love, life, peace, desire. He loved his cat eyes, he thought they were prettiest than his. And the glitter, the clothes, the smile, it all made Alec wish wildly to undress him and take him to his bedroom.

He wasn't sure about how he expected Magnus to react, but in the end, he realized that Magnus seemed to be happy. The warlock looked at him and grinned. Then, he walked to Jace and, magnificent as usual, said, amusedly:

"Now I am offended, Jace Lightwood. How could you think that low of me?"