Another long chapter guys. Brace yourselves =)

Chapter 10:

I quickly walked out my room, forgetting about my crazy looking hair and how early in the morning it was and opened the door to M's room. I was determined to talk to him. I had to tell him that I loved him but only as a good friend would. It wasn't the kind of love I had for Catman.

"M?" I called opening the door slowly. I was expecting to see him asleep but was surprised when I went in and found the bed made up.

Hmm that was strange, I thought to myself and decided to try the kitchen and just maybe he would be there.

I touched my hair as I walked down the stairs, remembering how awful it looked. Well it was too late now to turn back. I had to find him before he left.

"M?" I skidded to a stop in the kitchen and frowned. It was dark and there was no M anywhere to be found. It must have left the note on her vanity and went home.

What a fine mess…

I turned on my heels and headed back up the stairs up to the third floor. Well I am up anyway I might as well go see Nickers and Buddy. But first I needed a shower and try to do something with the hopeless and tangled mass of hair.

I decided on wearing a blue jean skirt I packed even though I hardly ever wore it. I grabbed the first shirt I found that just so happened to be tie-died.

I carried them, my undergarments, and toiletries, and set off for the third floor's bathroom.

I scrubbed all the make-up off my face that I forget to do so last night. Washed off then began to tackle my hair. It was hopeless. I had managed to get it down from the high up do but the hair itself was tangled so badly. I didn't know what to do.

With a sigh I started to towel off. I l glanced in the mirror with a frown. I couldn't go around anywhere with this hair. What was I to do?

Before I knew what I was doing I started opening the sink cabinets in search of anything that might help. Claire most likely had a lot of hair treatments and sprays that would help to detangle. After all she was a beautician.

A frustrated sound passed through my lips. There was nothing but an old comb and some old-fashioned hair cutting scissors.

My eyes settled on the scissors. I raised an eyebrow. Maybe I would look okay with short hair? My hair was longer than it ever had been. Down to the middle of my back. It would be a treat to for once in my life to have easy manageable hair.

In that instant my mind was mind was made up. I'd give myself a haircut.

I decided to dress first. When I was done I decided I'd better braid my hair even if it was tangled so at least I could cut it straight across a little easier.

"Oh, Winnie Willis what are you doing?" I clenched my teeth as I painfully braided three ratted sections of hair and tied the tip with a scrunchie.

I picked up the scissors and stared at them a few minutes. Did I really wanna do this?

Yes.

Turning to the side I cut my hair just at the nape of my neck. The braid fell to the floor. I dropped the scissors.

I stared in the mirror and gasped. Oh no! It might have done some improvement and gotten rid of the tangles but my hair had turned poufy. I fought the urge to cry out.

I quickly threw the braided hair into the trash can. There was nothing to hide. Everyone was going to see that my hair was gone. Or maybe not at least today.

I could wear the bandanna I brought for occasional bad hair days. This was one of them. This hair cut was a much messed up version of a bob.

Taking my clothes I ran into my room and yanked the bandanna out of my duffle bag.

I sighed in relief as I tied it on. It looked like I probably put it up in a ponytail and looped it. A little hair stuck out from the back.

Feeling satisfied for now I headed out the house. I decided to walk to home since it was just 3 miles through the tall grass anyway. I could've borrowed Catman's back bike but I felt I needed the exercise to think about things.

It was then I remembered talk about burglars lurking around the neighborhood. I hadn't thought about it till now. That was probably why I had freaked out so bad when I saw a shadow in the window.

Too late now. I needed to focus on this stuff with M.

It wasn't unbelievable that M was in love with me. I had seen his tormented expression when I had told him I was in love with Catman. And the look he gave me at the dance.

I somewhat wished I was in love with him if I hadn't been in love with Catman.

Oh you can't think like that! Then you would've crushed Catman!

Okay so maybe not but I hate that I have to hurt him. I feel as if I'm going to betray him.

But you're not because he knows you love Catman and knows he can't have you, I reasoned with myself.

I groaned in annoyance. Was I going crazy? I was talking to myself for goodness sakes! It wasn't helping with what was going on with Dad.

Maybe it wasn't a good idea to think about M like that.

I decided to run a little bit to clear my head. By the time I got to the barn I was panting in exhaustion. All that running hadn't even helped my thinking. I was still worrying over M.

Nickers galloped towards me in the paddock very excited to see me.

For the first time in my life I walked right past her and didn't even acknowledge she was there. I walked straight by and into the barn where I flopped down in an empty stall.

I wondered where Buddy was. She hadn't been with Nickers and she wasn't in the barn.

All of a sudden I broke down. Thoughts of not just M but Dad lost out there or dead in a plane crash and my stupid mistake of cutting my hair.

All those thoughts were making my head spin and I huffed throwing my face down in the hay. Right then and there I sobbed. I sobbed so hard I shook violently.

There was a scuffle and my head shot up in alarm. It wasn't the horses or Nelson. Something was out there!

I scooted farther back into the stall. What if it was a burglar? It was still pretty early. Barely even daylight but just enough to be able to see.

Winnie, you are such a worry wart!

A shadow fell over the entrance of the barn before a tall dark figure appeared and I screamed on accident in fright. I covered my mouth with a hand in my own surprise.

The figure stepped into the barn and I nearly bolted past him.

"Winnie?" a familiar voice asked me.

I gasped, "M?" This was twice I mistook him for a burglar!

M walked over and sat cross-legged beside me. He was wearing his clothes from last night's dance minus the mask. No wonder he had looked so menacing.

"I thought you were a burglar," I gave a sigh of relief.

"Sorry," M apologized. He looked down at his hands that he had folded in his lap. I noticed he never once looked me in the eye. It was like he was afraid of her. "Thought I'd see Buddy."

I bit my lip. This was getting awkward indeed. I looked over at him then away. "I got your letter," it was almost a whisper.

M glanced over at her, his eyebrows furrowed and he looked very troubled. "I shouldn't have told you. It would have been better left unsaid."

"Marque, I began, gently.

M jumped slightly by being called his real name. He met my eyes for the first time and they locked on mine.

"I love you too—but not the way you love me and the way Catman and I love each other. I love you as a close friend would." I touched his arm. "I hope someday you find a girl that really loves you M. But I'm not her."

M looked down and was quiet for a few minutes. When he spoke again it chilled my heart with its sadness.

"So this is how it's going to be?" M said softly. He didn't sound angry and resentful. It was more like acceptance and heartfelt loss.

I closed my eyes for a few seconds, "I'm sorry."

When he looked up his eyes were glassy like he was fighting back tears. "You have nothing to be sorry for. You can't help it if you're in love with Catman." A tear escaped from his left brown eye and he rubbed it, annoyed. I could tell he didn't like looking weak in front of me.

I didn't reply. I thought it was best to let silence settle everything.

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Another chapter in the making right now!