Chapter 10
Author's Note: Please note that I don't own any of the Stargate series and world. Please review. Particular spoiler for Affinity.

— Tamar —

Sam is hiding something, I do not know exactly what it is but I have a feeling it has something to do with Pete and maybe Jack. I want to bring it up with her, but she may not be comfortable with it. Though it cannot hurt to try, can it? I know it is late but I already checked her quarters and she has not left the base.

That is why I am standing outside office about to knock. I freeze when I hear Jack's voice.

"… utter these words. I need that report." Sam was late on a report? That did not sound like her, but she had been distracted. I went to leave but curiosity got the better of me and I stayed to listen.

"Right. Um…. I-I just need to finish typing up my notes. I'll have it for you first thing tomorrow." She sounded tired.

"It is tomorrow."

"Oh" I heard some shuffling of paper.

"I'm joking. I don't need the report."

"Well they why…"

"Because something is going on with you. You haven't tried to confuse me with any of your scientific babble for the last couple of days, and that's a red flag to me." For a second there was silence and then Sam said.

"Pete gave me this." What?

"People normally wear these on their fingers." Oh, great Jack, sarcasm really works. But he was only trying to relieve some of the tension in the room

"I haven't said yes."

"And yet you haven't said no." He was worried about her answer, not knowing which way he wanted it to go.

"I told him I needed to think about it."

"And?" he left off the rest, she answered quickly afterwards.

"That was two weeks ago."

"Ah." It was more of a sigh than a comment.

"You know, all these years I've concentrated on work, I just assumed one day I'd…"

"Have a life?" The question resounded in my head, she wanted to live outside of work?

"Yeah. And now it comes down to it, I don't know. I mean, every time we go through the gate, we risk not coming back. Is it fair to put somebody through that?"

"Pete is a cop. I think he could handle it."

"What about kids?"

"What about 'em?" God, could Jack be any more insensitive?

"Do I take maternity leave and then come back? Do I drop the baby off at daycare on my way to some unexplored planet, on the edge of the Crab nebula?"

"Carter, there are people on this base who have families."

"What about you? If things had been different…" An awkward silence, this is the reason for the tension between them. Sam had feelings for Jack? I had seen that coming for a while.

"I wouldn't be here." He turned to leave, I scattered down the hall. I could hear his footsteps coming towards me so I darted into a room. As soon as I heard him retreating down the hall, I left it.

-SGC-

I was in the infirmary when I heard the news about Teal'c, that he was suspected of murder of Krista's boyfriend. I knew that he had been developing feelings for the girl and found her to be a good companion but murder? That was not like Teal'c, he was too honourable for such evil things. No one that I could talk to would tell me much about it, but that was only because they didn't know anything about it.

I left almost straight away after my 'shift', Daniel's office being my destination. He was studying something on the computer and did not hear me come in. On his screen there was a set of Ancient writing, actual words are lacking and hard to understand, so try a different way. On a piece of paper in front of him was his own translation, actual words are absent and hard to understand, so try a different way.

"It's lacking, not absent. Just thought you should know," I whispered in his ear. He nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of my voice.

"Holy hell Tamar. What do you think you're doing? Sneaking up on me like that?" He quickly exited out of the document and hid his notes.

"What you doing?" I asked, soundly scarily like Jack. His frown became comical at the tone of my voice.

"How much time have you been spending around Jack?"

"Less than you," I replied, which was very true. I barely had free time to spend around Jack, I was either in the infirmary, in his office, working out with Sam and Teal'c, helping Sam or talking with Teal'c. No free time to think, which was the way I preferred it.

"Really?" He looked distracted now, like he was trying to hide something.

"Do I have to read you to get you to tell me what is going on?" I asked, I did not want to but his hiding was becoming more atrocious by the second.

"NO," he cried out, too loud for this room. I put my hand on his arm and tried to get a reading. All I could see was a wall, one that was placed well between us.

"Nice wall, too bad I know how to find the door." I whispered to him, his eyes widened in shock.

I looked deep into his eyes, going too close for comfort. When the wall did not crumble, I hesitantly pressed my lips softly against his and that seemed to do the trick. I pulled away quickly, trying not to be distracted by the feelings chorusing through my body.

Teal'c is in trouble. The Trust has him and there is not much that I can do about it, they want me to translate this stupid Ancient writing into Goa'uld. … she can hear every word I am saying… How did she describe it? Build the wall out of the strongest thing in your mind, your will. And the wall was rebuilt, so I pulled away from him.

I stared at him, opening my own mind to him. The Trust has Teal'c? And they want you to translate that writing? You cannot tell anyone can you? Or else they will kill him? I kept barriers up around my memories, I could not have him finding out about my dream or the other thing. I could not even think the word with him being so close.

He blinked once, indicating a yes, to all my questions.

Are you sure? He rolled his eyes in response. What can I do to help?

He frowned, Nothing, sounded his voice in my mind. He was learning control quickly.

"So do you know when I will be going on my first mission, you know off world?" I needed to talk to him, but I had a suspicion we were being watched so I changed the topics.

He shook his head, "Probably next time we go on a recon mission, just the small stuff first."

I tried to look disappointed. "I am bored,"

"Do you know how much you sound like Jack?" His question annoyed me.

"I am not like Jack," I replied, fake anger covering my face.

"Can you go annoy someone else? I need to do some work."

"Sorry," sarcasm rolled off my tongue, as a tiny smile worked its way on to my face. I flounced out of the room.

-SGC-

I do not know how to handle the information I have just gathered from Daniel. The very news that Teal'c could be killed was making me react stupidly. I thought about going to Sam or Jack but I knew I couldn't, Daniel had given me the impression that the Trust would know if I did. I wondered if they knew about me, and if they did what did they know?

Thoughts of knowledge brought me to the things I was hiding, for starters the fact I was most likely going to die if I went up against Anubis and then there was my pregnancy. I was now very sure that I was pregnant, though these humans could not tell until at least 2 weeks and those tests were nowhere near accurate.

My people had built the 'gates' for safe transport between planets, mostly for livestock and people who could not spend a lot of time in space. This meant the elders, the children and women who were pregnant. The people here thought that the 'gate' caused side effects, like the headaches and did not know the results of travelling through the 'gate' while pregnant. But I had determined that the headaches were to do with stress and the 'gate' was designed for the transport of delicate and fragile objects.

I have wanted to talk to someone about my pregnancy, but I do not want anyone here to know because I fear they would restrict me to the base. Not that I already was not, but these people believed that even in early pregnancy women should not be allowed to put much strain on their bodies. I wanted to see if I could talk to Orlin, but I have always been unable to summon him correctly and I do not think Oma approves of me being here.

I know I will eventually have to tell them, it will become obvious. But for now, I just wish to enjoy my time here without having to convince them nothing is wrong. I will tell Dr. Johns first, and soon hopefully he will keep it to himself, though I do not wish to alarm him when I return from a mission and he discovers I am magically pregnant.

Daniel will be angry when he discovers this is the real reason I pushed him away, he will want to come back into my life. In a way I do not wish him to find out, nor do I want this child. But the part of me who never had a child and wanted to be a mother grows angry whenever I think about it.

-SGC-

I am stuck in the base with nothing to do. Daniel is missing, Teal'c is (self)confined to his quarters and Sam is out looking for Daniel. Jack will not give me the permission to go off base with her and they kicked me out of the infirmary, something to do with pacing being annoying. So I am stuck not only in the base, but there is no one I can go and see and I do not like to exercise alone.

Needless to say that I reached bored about oh I do not know, the second they kicked me out? I thought about practicing my powers but I now have full control of my telekinetic abilities. Plus Jack told me if I even thought about setting something on fire he would bring out the neutralising device.

I want to do something but I can think of nothing, I even tried to offer my services to the man who helps Sam, Bill or something. But his excuse was that he did not actually have any work. My next step is to go annoy either Sergeant Siler, Sergeant Harriman or just go and annoy Jack again. Though I do not want to get thrown out of his office, it might be my only choice. I could try and convince him that I need to practice my pyrokenetic abilities. I rushed out of my room, avoiding the elevator and bounding the stairs two at a time.

Of course I did not see a burly airmen climbing the stair towards me, so lost in my own mind, I also did not see him move out of the way, but accidentally leave his foot in my road. I went tumbling down the stairs, feeling the crack of bones as I landed heavily on each stair. I instinctively wrapped a hand around my belly and the other around my head.

I came to a stop at the bottom of them, my head was throbbing, an ache had established in my right femur and my ribs felt abused.

"Oww," I breathed out, as my eyes closed and oblivion welcomed me into her cold embrace.

— Daniel —

I had only been back moments when I saw her, Tamar was on a gurney being taken to the infirmary. I followed anxiously, wanting to gain any tidbits of information I could. I heard broken leg, concussion and other horrifying words.

Fear was flooding through me when they took her into the small operating room, which doubled for an isolation room. She wasn't going to die, but the fear was still a companion in my mind. I watched as one of the doctors conducted his tests on her, taking blood and injecting other things into her. It was a scary process to watch when someone you cared about was the one being examined.

I heard Jack, Sam and Teal'c come into the small observation room. I gave a nod to each of them, and then wrapped my arms back around my waist. I watched in horror as one of the nurses passed a scalpel to the doctor. I wanted to turn away, so I wouldn't have to watch as they cut her but I had to watch to know they didn't hurt her more than she already was.

I sat down in a chair as we watched for what felt like ages as doctors did whatever the hell it is they do. I know Jack had to leave at some point, but I didn't take notice of it. My eyes were stuck on Tamar. They finally left her alone, the machines around her indicating she was alive but nothing more.

"She is going to be alright, but she is going to take a while to heal, even for her. The damage was pretty bad, we fixed what we could and she has taken care of some of the smaller things. I give her at least a week to full recovery." Doctor Johns informed us, "You can go to her now." He said directly to me before leaving. I was in the room so quickly I barely had time to breath.

"Tamar can you hear me?" I talked both out loud and tried to reach out with my mind to her.

It was like brushing up against the wall of a bouncing castle. No matter how hard you push against it and no matter how much it feels like it is going to give, it will just push you back. I could feel no thoughts outside of it, but I tried again. Tamar? Please hear me.

She groaned, it was only small but it was a response. "Comdo…" I heard escape her lips but it was barely loud enough to hear.

"Tamar, you need to speak a bit louder." I whispered, desperately clutching at her hands.

"Comdo asordo," it was louder this time. I recognised the language instantly, Ancient. Comdo was please and what was asordo… help. Please help. She was asking me to help her, but I can't.

"Tamar, there is nothing I can do." It was hurting me to be so helpless.

"Cruvis." Wrong. Her words were still too quiet but at least she was talking. "Puta… puta." Think… think. Think of what? I'm wrong about being unable to help her and I need to think of why.

"Fallatus," Ability was the next whispered word, she then tried to reach out her hand to touch me. The ability was in me, the ability to what? Read her mind? What had she said to me?

When you descended, your body was given physiological and biological advancements… You were meant to develop them by yourself… I thought I might be able to help you… train you… Did she mean that I might be able to heal her? Could that be it? But I didn't know how, what if I got it wrong? Maybe Sam could use the hand device… I was fumbling, I could feel myself falling apart.

Seeing her so appallingly hurt, was hurting me. Knowing she couldn't think straight, she couldn't speak English any more. A part of me wanted to go and find the airmen who called it in, to see what they knew. Another part didn't want to leave her side, she was in pain and I didn't want her to suffer alone.

I stood there trying to understand.

What is wrong with me? She fell down a flight of stairs and you'd think by my reaction someone had tried to murder her. What would my life be like without her? I did not want to think about it, I don't know how I would survive without her.

I love her. The reality of the situation hit me square in the face, I love Tamar.

"Daniel," she rasped out, "comdo asordo. Comdo… comdo… comdo," the word was repeated over and over again.

How had Jack done it on Proclarush? A hand on the head and one on the chest. I tried and felt something, her body and all the problems with it. It was trying to heal itself and the doctors had done a good job of starting the process, but I knew I could give it an extra edge. I did what felt natural and I could feel it working, like energy was flowing from me to her.

I wave of tiredness washed over me and I had to stop.

"Euge," I heard her whisper and then a smile pulled at her lips. My world seemed to brighten in ways that I didn't know was possible.

"Tamar?" I asked, "Are you alright?"

"Etium… I mean yes, I am. Thank you." Her eyes were half open and watching me.

I looked at her and the feelings from before washed over me.

I love her.

— Tamar —

The pain was finally subsiding throughout my body, I could feel areas that I could not feel before and knew that they were healing. It was because my walls were weak and he was practically shouting his thoughts, that I heard him.

I love her. Oh shit. He could not… when did he… this cannot be real.

It was like a punch to the guts, I had finally found him and now I had to leave him. He would be left without me, without my love. I did not want him to the pain I had experienced when I thought he was dead. What he had already felt for Sha're.

He was supposed to be getting over his feelings for me. That was what he said he… no he never said that, I tricked myself into thinking it. Like I have tricked myself into thinking no one would find out about the pregnancy.

They took blood, shock ran through me at the realisation. Through blood these people could tell if someone was pregnant. I needed to talk to the doctor and then Jack. They are going to hate me for hiding this. Jack will probably make it so I can no longer go off world and the doctor will support it.

I tried to sit up, but pain shot through me again. Damn, he had not healed everything.

"Daniel," I said, he was staring at me with a distant look, like he was looking but not really seeing. "Daniel!" More forcefully this time, my hand shot out to touch him.

"Tamar?" His eyes returned from their vacant state.

"I need you to finish healing me," he began to shake his head, "I know you are tired but I will be able to help you this time. I will guide you," he still looked sceptical, but I knew he would do it for me.

"I-I don't know what I'm doing,"

"I promise, I will help you," He nodded his head.

I put one of his hands on my forehead and the other on my chest. I knew this would require I fair level of giving and taking on both our parts and it would be easier to guide him in a different way.

Can you feel where the body is wrong?

-SGC-

"Tamar, where the hell do you think you're going?" It was Sam's voice that stopped my forward motion. I blinked twice, turning to face her.

"To go and see Jack?" My statement came out as a question.

"No, you're going back to bed," Her voice was very controlling. She moved towards me and I tried to delay her.

"Sam," I started logically, "I got out of my bed, escaped my room, without anyone noticing and I am most of the way down the hall. Why should I stop now?"

"Because you'll re-injure yourself." She sounded like a mother.

"No, I will not. I am in a wheelchair, heading towards a level with no stairs. What is the problem?" I needed to go and see Jack, or I run the risk of forever being confined to base and Daniel discovering my secret.

"I'm going with you,"

Shit.

-SGC-

When we arrived at the General's office, the door was closed and there were only two voices coming from within it. Sam knocked on the door, and it opened instantly to reveal Jack and Dr. Johns, who was holding a clipboard in his hands.

"Speak of the devil," Jack said from his seat.

"Jack, Doctor. Can I please have a moment of your time?" How had Daniel said it once? 'My goose is cooked.'

"Sure." Jack said, waving us in. "We just were coming to speak to you."

"Sam, do you mind if I have a private word?" I asked her politely. She went to leave, but Jack stopped her with a shake of his head.

"She can stay,"

Great, "I assume you know then?" I asked, "Or has the doctor not got to the good part?"

"Oh I know," Jack replied, watching me with an almost evil look.

"Know what?" Sam asked. The doctor began to say something but I cut him off.

"I am pregnant."

Author's Note 2:I actually took the time to translate them (the writing from this episode), it was – actual words are hard to deciph so thisll work. I don't know if the SGC actually has stairs, but it does now.

Pixie: she didn't let me talk at all. It was always, shut up I'm writing. Go away, be quiet. I don't like it when she gets controlling. That's why I bought the whip, it makes her behaviour.

Me: Sweetie, you know I can delete whatever you write, right?

*pixie pulls out whip*

Me: I'm just gonna go write some more.

Pixie: Good girl. *pats head then leaves*

Me: you know one day I am going to take that whip and shove it—

Pixie: I can hear you