"I thought I loved her." Joe thought as he watched Miss Acacia run off to find Jack. She had disappeared into the night, and though she couldn't have gotten far, Joe didn't feel the need to pursue her.

His shoulders slumped and he bowed his head. "Why? I came out here for her. All I feel is disappointment that I lost to Jack."

For years Joe had been fixated on Miss Acacia alone, everything he did was somehow connected to her; he had made plans for their future together, plans to take her away with him and…

"And then what?" Joe asked himself. "Get married? If that's what I want, why don't I feel worse that I've lost her? Why isn't my heart breaking like it did when she had to leave town?"

Perhaps it was because he knew deep down that Miss Acacia had eyes only for Jack; he was simply too stubborn to give up, and now his foolishness had cost him an eye and indirectly breaking the heart of an innocent girl.

Clementine had been with him the whole time and had not once hinted that she didn't want Joe to pursue Miss Acacia; all she talked about was what they should see once they were in Andalusia and how happy Acacia would be to see him. But then, she was always a kind soul; Joe felt a twinge of guilt for reading her correspondence with Miss Acacia, but he couldn't stop himself.

He had burned to know what Clementine spoke about and whether she mentioned him; he didn't know why, just that he was curious and that the temptation to look was too great to push aside.

She had confessed her love for him in her last letter and as Joe read her delicate handwriting he felt as if his heart was going to stop. He wanted to find her and talk to her, but he didn't. He was so sure that his love was still for Miss Acacia and Miss Acacia alone.

Joe stared desolately out into the night sky. "Why did she stay with me in the hospital? Why did she approach me even knowing who I was? Why couldn't she just leave me alone?"

He was so confused since that day and he resented Clementine for it; she had disrupted his peaceful, well planned out life, and she had brought these strange confusing feelings along with her. Clementine made him feel guilt for what he was doing and pain when she cried; he felt happiness when she smiled and anger when she was wronged. Joe would feel his chest tighten when she went over to give him her letter; she would smile softly and he had to stop himself from begging her not to leave, even though it was he who demanded she not be seen around him.

"I'm thinking of her when I just lost the woman I loved." Joe thought suddenly. "What am I doing...?"

"Joe. I'm so sorry."

Clementine's soft voice rung in his ears and he immediately felt shame that she was seeing him like this. Joe looked at her sharply and resumed a cold manner.

"I don't need your pity. Get in, we're going home." He walked back toward the carriage expecting to hear her footsteps as she followed.

"No."

Joe froze, not believing what he had heard.

"No? What does she mean no?" Joe felt a stab of panic his chest as he faced a resolute Clementine.

"You go back to Edinburgh. I'm going to stay here for a while. Have a nice life Joe." she said with a hint of bitterness and began to walk off.

"She's leaving." Joe thoughts were racing. "No. No, she can't. I won't let her."

He all but begged her to stay; he told her everything, staring into her sorrowful eyes and he could tell she was just as confused as him. Joe took her hands and he was struck by how tiny they were, how warm they were to the touch; he confessed his love, swore it to her, but Clementine didn't believe him.

"Clementine!" Joe yelled out as she ran off into the desert; he knew she was probably going after Miss Acacia, back to the circus to help Jack.

"She's leaving to help that ticking time bomb." Joe hissed; the rage he felt when Clementine had stood up for Jack before had increased ten fold. Only now did he recognize it as pure jealousy.

"But she said she loved me. She's probably going for Miss Acacia's sake, that's all." Joe tried to assure himself; his mind was in a haze.

Clementine was gone and she ran away from him; his true love was gone and Joe could feel his own heart breaking as if it was made of nothing but cogs and wheels.

"They're probably going back to Edinburgh." Joe thought to himself; his driver was staring at him, unsure what to do.

"We're going to Edinburgh." Joe ordered and quickly got into the carriage. "Now. I don't want us to stop until we're there."

"But sir, we'll need time to fill up on fuel and-"

"Fine, but if we stop, make it damn quick!" Joe commanded and the driver snapped the reins; the carriage bolted and they were on their way, but Joe couldn't relax.

It was pure torture to know Clementine was out of his sight and he hadn't slept or ate during the trip. He would stare out the window, praying that he'd perhaps see her, but it was futile.

"Clementine, forgive me." Joe thought rubbing his watering eyes; he hadn't felt tears since he was a small child. Then again, he hadn't felt a lot of things until recently.

"What if she doesn't love me anymore? What if she's gone somewhere else and she despises me?" Joe asked himself as they arrived in Edinburgh.

He couldn't think that way now. He had to find her and when he did, he would never let her go again.