Shinigami Women's Society
Bleached: And bringing in part two of the Feb 9th Meeting, it's the girls on vacation!
--Yachiru slides by on a water slide—and because of he self-indulgent and overlong author notes on the last chapter, I'm not including any running dialogue… It's because the readers shouldn't expect me to be consistent, otherwise they wont read my stories, and we don't want that (it's called reverse psychology). Therefore, I also need to cut the glue jokes…--sniffs and drops bottle in trash. Immediately, the bottle is regurgitated—Wow… even the trashcan doesn't want that glue… I wonder if it's radioactive…
February 23rd Meeting
Topic: First Aid
Everything seems back to normal, although a particularly pungent smell wafts around Hinamori. The members who had departed had likewise returned unscathed, except of course the fact that Renji was dyed pink (bleached: I didn't mention this particularly lame gag in my 'not recycle old jokes' speech).
Soifon attempts to figure out what happened to the rest of the crew on vacation, "Was it fun?"
"Don't ask about it," Rukia replies in a metallic voice and leaves it at that. (bleached: actually, I suffered from writer's block and decided to skip it :P).
Nanao sighed blissfully, glad not to have to deal with the group and dumped a box on the table, "Today, Isane will be leading a first aid seminar."
There is a collective groan, but Isane is all smiles as she prods everyone along to fourth company with a spear.
"Since when did she get so gung-ho?" muttered Rangiku as the society was forced to enter a medical ward. She realized the answer the moment she laid eyes on their patients, the over intoxicated, battle lustful, 11th Company members, "Oh. Shoot." She tries to run for the door.
Isane bars their way, "No one can run!"
So the members find themselves outfitted in shock collars while Isane waves a button cackling maniacally. It's just then that they realize how terrified Isane must be of the 11th Company people. As they say, the bullied become bullies, either that, or they shoot themselves, and the SWS members can't tell which side of the spectrum Isane is leaning towards.
After Isane had matched the SWS members with a patient, a particularly brawny man shivering underneath Yachiru's gentle touch, she began to demonstrate procedures.
"First, um…" Isane suddenly realized she forgot the first step of procedure, "You um… paint the patient green!"
There are many raised eyebrows, but Yachiru is elected to go purchase this healthcare commodity, to the relief of her patient.
Yachiru skips lightly along the road, holding the money intended for the paint and gets sidetracked. Namely, she stops at the candy store and spends all the money on lollypops.
As she skips out the door, she runs into a particular 8th Company Captain, who was apparently drunk and calls her a chibi. Yachiru takes offence and launches herself forward, latching her teeth onto Sunsui's hat. Being the drunken oaf he is, Sunsui continues along, humming a drunken ballad.
As she swings along, attached to Sunsui's head, Yachiru suddenly realized that it wasn't fun anymore and tries to extract her teeth from the straw of his hat. And tried again. She gave a moan of pure agony when she realized that she was stuck to his hat as he tottered into his office and gave a flowerpot a drunken hug and kiss.
So, the chibi tries to communicate with Sunsui, by clobbering him hard on the head.
"Eh?" moans Sunsui; "It feels like a tiny pink haired girl who is stuck to my head just hit me…" he laughed drunkenly at his joke, "What are the chances of that? Must be the hangover."
Yachiru utters a few muffled curses that she learned from Ikkaku and then she pauses, as something strikes her, "you know, you're hat kind of tastes like a green banana."
Sunsui begins to think that he's hallucinating; "Now I hear voices in my head, first cursing and then talking about green bananas…"
Yachiru sighed. Sunsui was definitely drunk. "I'm going to tell Nanao-chan that you've been drinking," she threatened huffily.
"Don't do that, little voice in my head," Sunsui sighs, "Nanao will be mad a hit me."
Yachiru was tempted to do just that at the moment, but she decided that Sunsui would be a great toy and she muttered some instructions, "Then go to 12th Company?"
"Why?"
"Just do it!"
"Okay, okay! You're beginning to sound like Nanao-chan," he pauses, "You aren't Nanao-chan, are you, little voice inside my head?"
"Nope! Now 12th Company is that way!"
The two of them troop off in the opposite direction of 12th Company.
Back at 4th Division Relief
Rangiku is examining her nails; "It's been an hour already."
Soifon shrugged, "Why do we need paint anyway?"
"I'll answer that with another question: Why are we here anyway?"
"Why is the sky blue?"
"Something to do with light reflecting."
"That was a rhetoric question."
Back to Yachiru
After walking in several circles, they finally found the correct course to 12th Company.
Sunsui experienced a sober moment, when he realized that he was sitting in an air duct with a pink haired hitchhiker and had no idea how he got there, so he took a swig of sake to 'clear his head' and continued inching down the ventilation pipe with Yachiru's cheerful encouragements.
To say Yachiru's cheerful encouragements is an overstatement. The tiny Shinigami was sleeping, her teeth still lodged in the straw hat, having lost interest somewhere through sewage tunnel #11.
So, after finding an empty room and dropping in, all the while posing like a drunken ninja, Sunsui dusted off his hat and faced a room full of machinery parts. That's when Yachiru woke up.
Several Hours Later
Captain Commander Genrusai is drinking his afternoon tea and all is blissful. He sighed; the outlook was good, no rioting or other strange occurrences. He gazed out the window and realized that he had spoken too soon as several tall buildings crumpled like rice paper.
He gaped as a giant metal… thing, burst into one of Seretie's candy shops. He looked closely and realized it was some sort of pink Mech suit, as it crashed through a sake shop, swaying like a drunk. He sighed, turned around, and pretended that what ever it was didn't exist.
It didn't work that well, considering that the next moment the pink Mech crashed headlong into the Captain Commander's office. He blanched as it plowed through his china collection and stared up into the tinted glass of the cockpit to see a deformed silhouette. He shuddered, noticing that whatever it was had two heads and four arms.
Inside the cockpit of the Mech
Yachiru is having a disagreement with Sunsui, "No! It's that way!"
"Sake…! Sake…!"
The disagreement was one-sided, considering that Sunsui suddenly come upon a craving for sake and, as he began to turn blue, angled for the nearest source of sake.
Yachiru finally lost patience and head butted the 8th Company Captain, who flew out of the giant Mech and onto the street, minus his hat, which was still lodged in Yachiru's front teeth.
He turned towards the sweet smell of sake and stumbled off.
"Sake…! Sake…!"
Yachiru wound her fingers around controls that were too big for her hands and immediately the Mech lurched forward. She chucked, "Finally! I shall destroy them all!"
The Mech teetered for a moment and then ambled forward down a road and straight towards a dead end. Yachiru's motives became frighteningly apparent as she smashed through one dead end after another.
She cackled madly, "Now, Ken-chan and I will never get lost!" Which was exactly what happened to Yachiru at that moment as she went straight through a wall and into Rukongai.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…!"
Inside the nearest Sake shop
Sunsui had crashed into the shop and immediately chugged the nearest bottle he could find.
The storeowner cowered behind the cash register, this must be what a zombie is! He ran through a mental list of what to do in case of a zombie attack. "A stake… where can I find a stake?" he mumbled to himself and made a dash for the silver shop next door, "Silver might work…"
He came back laden with a silver rapier and flung it at the 8th Company Captain, who was chugging his best alcohol, screaming, "Die Zombie! Die! Die! Die!"
The sword missed, striking the pot of ale instead.
In a complete incoherent rage, the owner ran for the grocery store. Then he ran back out, after exhausting his garlic supply. And then went down the list of mystical cures for 'zombies'. Finally, fed up, he ran for the atomic weaponry store.
Ikkaku and Iba, after getting off from a long hard day of paperwork, paid a visit to a sake shop. Sunsui steps out of the shop, covered in garlic and who knows what, and waves to them drunkenly. Suddenly, a missile crashes into the ceiling and decimates the store entirely.
Back to our Mech wielding friend
Yachiru stumbled back into Seritei and straight through several shops, namely a paint shop, which left the pink Mech with a dripping green coat. She smashed into the 4th Company Relief Center and showered the inhabitants of the wing that contained the Shinigami Women's Society members with green paint.
Hopping out of the cockpit, Yachiru cheerfully informed the inhabitants, "It's time for my run with Ken-chan!" And left the room, humming, knowing that this time, they wouldn't be seeing any dead ends.
A startled Isane accidentally presses the button for the shock collars.
In 1st Company HQ
Captain Commander Genrusai, stared glumly out into the skyline. A week, and Seritei has been destroyed twice. Imagine!
Bleached: Whew! That was bad, even by my standards. Sigh I guess glue is returning to my agenda, so are characters in my Author notes… Well, next time, everyone! And thanks for waiting for my piece… Well, next time might be in awhile, because I've decided to branch out a big and write some non 'You have got to be on crack' stories. On a completely unrelated note, though, did any of you watch the 2008 Chinese New Year's show thing? Review if you have, and if you haven't!