Double Date Disaster

Disclaimer: "But moooooom, I have to tell Chef he's marrying a succubus!" – Eric Cartman, South Park

Chapter 10: We're Home!

The Pit

"Well, that was one interesting date." Althea Delgado told Todd Tolensky as the two walked into the front door of Misfit Manor.

"Yeah, we gotta do that again sometime." Todd agreed, holding the door open for his water-manipulating girlfriend.

"Aww, thank you Toddles." Althea grinned, giving the amphibious mutant a kiss on the cheek.

"Al, don't call me…ah forget it." Todd shook his head.

"Hey, mates uh…if you two want to do this again, can it please not involve me getting grabbed by the ear?" St. John Allerdyce winced. "Ow!"

"You deserve it, you arson-happy clown!" Althea snapped. "You just had to go out and get into trouble again, didn't you?"

"But the mimes were plotting again! I had to stop them!" John whined. Althea twisted his ear. "OW!"

"You should've done what we did to stop John from burning up the couch." Todd reminded. "Remember, Al? Whenever John tried to set the couch on fire, we squirted him with water."

"Oh yeah." Althea nodded.

"Uh-huh." Todd smirked. "Remember that one time we were making out on the couch, and John tried to set that hassock on fire?"

"Oh yeah, I remember that!" John grinned. "I got me a lake right in me face for that. Heh heh heh-!" Althea gave his ear another twist. "OW! ALTHEA! That bloody hurts!"

"Good!" Althea snapped. She walked into the living room. "Hello? Hello? Anyone here?"

"We're home!" Todd called. "And we got John, yo!"

"Hey, guys." Fred walked in from the kitchen, holding a Christmas ham.

"Hey, Fred." Todd greeted.

"Fred, that's our emergency ham!" Althea pointed at the ham.

"No, this is my ham from my private fridge." Fred corrected.

"I bet you're glad you listened to me for once and bought Freddo his own fridge, huh?" John grinned.

"Okay, you were right, John. God." Todd grumbled.

"And he still doesn't shut up." Althea sighed. "Fred, where is everybody?"

"The adults went over to see the X-Men." Fred answered. "More like they went out to drink with the X-Men. Some of the Misfits came with them."

"And where are the rest?" Althea inquired.

CRASH!

"Never mind." The hydrokinetic sighed, looking upwards.

"Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!" Pietro Maximoff whooped as he zipped down the stairs and raced outside.

"I don't wanna know, yo…" Todd groaned.

"PIETRO!" Brittany, Daria, and Quinn Delgado screamed as they floated downstairs after the hyperactive speedster.

"Who gave Pietro sugar?" Althea glared at Fred. The large Texan shrugged.

"Don't look at me. I didn't give him nothin'."

"Uh…I'm still here. Can you let go of my ear now?" John raised his hand.

"No, John." Althea grunted. "I don't get it, Toddles. Who let John be alone for an extended period of time."

"I think he's getting better, yo." Todd shrugged. "Remember when he first joined us? We couldn't leave him alone for ten minutes. Now we can leave him alone for two hours before we need to take away his lighter."

Malibu Base

"Hey! We're home!" Ali Blaire called as she walked into the West Coast Misfit Manor, Longshot right behind her.

"Ohhh…not so loud…" Theresa Rourke moaned. The Irish girl, and the leader of the West Coast Misfit team, moaned from the couch, an icepack on her head.

"Terry, what happened to you?" Longshot inquired.

"Ohhhh…" Theresa moaned. "Those mushbrains Kyle and Toshi started going at it again. I tried tae break it up, but me head ended up getting intimately familiar with a bookcase…oh…"

"Oh, those two blockheads!" Ali groaned. "We already had to deal with our share of insanity today, now we come home to it!"

"Welcome to the Misfits, Ali." Longshot snickered.

"Oh, why'd I agree to join in the first place?" Ali sighed, flopping down on the chair next to the couch.

"Because you needed something to do in between gigs?" Longshot joked. He got a slight snicker from Theresa and a glare from Ali. "Heh heh, just joking."

"WAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Toshi could be seen running by the window outside, screaming.

"What the-?" Longshot blinked.

"BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The voice of Kyle Wildfire could be heard cackling as the three saw the wheels of a monster truck roll by the window. Ali's jaw dropped.

"Where did Thunderbolt get a monster truck?" Ali gaped.

"Who knows?" Theresa sighed. "All I know is, me headache is starting tae grow."

"Where are the others?" Longshot inquired.

"Ace is out, I think. Took Terrell, Tommy, and Rictor with him." Theresa remembered. "John and Rahne are in the gym. And Jack is visiting family."

"AAAAGH! KYLE, YOU IDIOT!" They heard John Proudstar scream. "QUIT LAUGHING AND HELP ME CATCH HIM, SUNFIRE!"

"Oh, man." Ali sighed. "I think I'm going to go to bed and not wake up for a month. At least then I may get me some sleep!"

The Xavier Institute

"My Bonnie lies over the ocean! My Bonnie lies over the sea…" A chorus of drunken voices sang from within Professor Charles Xavier's office.

"Oh, no…" Lina Chakram sighed. "Looks like Shipwreck is leading another session of drunken singing."

"Yup." Jamie Madrox grinned. "And I'm dreaming of a golden Lamborghini."

"Is that why you put all this recording equipment next to the door?" Lina frowned, crossing her arms.

"You bet, Dragonfly!" Jamie grinned. "Their singing will make me a mint! Their last album already made platinum three times."

"You are kidding." Lina's jaw dropped.

"Heck no!" Jamie grinned.

"AAAAAAAGH! WHO SPRAY-PAINTED THE WORD TRAMP ALL OVER MY ROOM?" Kitty Pryde was heard screaming.

"IT GOT ON MAH SIDE OF THE ROOM!" Rogue added.

"SPYDER! GET YOUR HAPPY GRAY BUTT OVER HERE! YOU AND I ARE GONNA HAVE A TALK!" Lance Alvers yelled.

"Well, that explains the drinking." Lina sighed. "Can't we just once have the two teams meeting without a disaster?"

"OW! WANDA! STOP MAKING THE CHANDELIER HIT ME!" Roberto DaCosta screamed. An explosion was heard.

"AW GOD!" Piotr Rasputin howled. "IT'S EVERYWHEEEEEERE!"

"ALVERS!" Scott Summers howled. "GET TOOTHY OFF ME! IT'S TRYING TO EAT MY FACE!"

"I thought Airtight locked up that overgrown mutated muffin." Lina blinked. Toothy was a pet of the Misfits. He was accidentally created when Craig Starr blasted one of Kitty's muffins with his eye laser. The energized molecules of the laser combined with the muffin's odd molecular structure to form Toothy's DNA.

"I like Toothy. He's friendly." Jamie grinned. "For some reason, he always tries to eat Scott's face. I dunno."

"Whoaaaaaaaa! Look out!" Paul Starr exclaimed as he raced by them, Amara Aquilla in hot pursuit.

"Come back here, Starchild!" Amara squealed. "I need my royal consort!" She raced by a television that Tabby Smith and Kurt Wagner were watching. "Huh?" The Nova Roman princess stopped when she heard the news.

"And in other news, police in Hoboken have caught Jonathan Darque, the insane armored eco-terrorist known as Magma…" The newscaster started. Amara's jaw dropped.

"Heh. Whaddaya know? Another Magma." Tabby shook her head.

"Oh, I hate to think vhat Amara vould do if she found out about zhis." Kurt winced.

"But…b-but…" Amara stammered. "Magma's my codename…that's mine…AAAARGH!" She screamed in rage, causing Kurt and Tabby to jump up.

"Uh oh…"

"THAT ARROGANT INSOLENT PEASANT! I WANT HIS HEAD!" Amara roared, changing into her Magma form.

"Yikes!" Kurt yelped, dodging a fireball.

"Amara! Watch it!" Tabby ducked another fireball.

"RAAAAAAAAARGH!" Amara screamed.

"AAAAAH! MY CAR! A VOLCANO JUST SPROUTED OUT OF NOWHERE AND FRIED MY CAR!" Scott screamed.

"Hey, just got a call from Blob!" Craig Starr yelled. "Couple volcanoes sprouted out of nowhere and doused Kelly's house with lava!"

Well, well, well! Looks like another insane adventure comes to an end! What insanity will happen next? Will our heroes go out again! Will Amara ever calm down? Will Kelly get a new house? Find out soon! This is L1701E, saying thanks for reading!