Read and review please!
Reviews make me all tingly on the inside : )
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot
Tonight mom was having a small dinner party at our house and I really didn't want to attend. It's not like I even had a choice in the matter, it was something mom and dad always did the day before my birthday to bring the family together. Any other time I was pretty passive about this whole get together, but today I would of done anything to escape this hell.
Everyone on the Rez was coming. Sam and Emily, the entire pack and their family, unfortunately. I hadn't even spoken to the pack since Paul and I got into it. So to say that this dinner party was going to be extremely awkward would be the understatement of the century. The elders and Charlie were also coming. Much to my dismay. I hated every last fucker on the council. They didn't do much to hide their dislike of me being in the pack. They felt I made the pack look weak. They could all kiss my ass, well except uncle Embry. He was the only old ass up there that actually accepted me.
No one bothered to invite the Cullen's. I would of, but then it wouldn't of really made any sense. They don't eat and besides I didn't want Bella around. I know. It's childish but I can't stand the girl. And if Edward expected me to behave around her, then it'd be best for me not to be around her, simple as that.
I sighed as I watch my mom scurry around the kitchen taking out her finest china to please these heifers. I couldn't help but think how extremely boring this whole ordeal would be. Without Jake here with me I'd have to face my screwed up family and the snobby asses of the council. I wasn't particularly fond of everyone. So why waste my time in fruitless conversation? I never had. Jake and I would always sneak off with the booze that mom would stupidly leave out and we'd drink out on top of the cliffs until midnight. Then he would sing, horribly, happy birthday to me and we'd pass out til morning. Things have changed this year, though.
Jake left, and I don't know when he'd be coming back and the only person to keep me out of my misery was Edward but he's probably somewhere with Bella, worshipping the ground she stumbles on. I groaned. I need to keep Edward off my mind. He's my friend that's all he'll ever be. And I'm cool with that. I think. But there's these thoughts that have been forming in the back of my mind lately and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't the least bit attracted to him. My thoughts disgusted me sometimes. Me attracted to a vampire? Is downright unmoral and plain disgusting. I'd be shunned upon if anyone on the Rez were to find out my feelings for the leech. But as much as I try to brush it off as me being attracted to insanely good looks, I knew it was a complete lie. Sure he had the smile that could make any girl melt into goo, but he has the most delicate and sincere soul on this planet, for a walking dead guy.
He's smart, and witty, and so old fashioned, he listens and understands, he hurts me just as much as I can hurt him. He's not perfect. The vampire looks sure, but he's so emo, and controlling, so insecure, and cute. I frowned at myself. Gahhh! I'm too old for this teenage crush shit. Get it together Leah. I berate my self. Though, I wonder how'd it be if Edward and I would get together. Of course it would never happen. But a girl could dream. I sighed. There's bound to be someone out there for me.
"Leah would you check the roast in the oven, dear. my hands are a little busy." my mom broke me from my thoughts. She was walking around the small kitchen with pots piled in her hands.
I hopped off the counter I was sitting on and checked on the roast, "about 10 more minutes, mom." I shut the oven door.
"Alright, let's get this food out on the table. Would you go
get Sam or someone to come help?" Why would she mention Sam? I shake my head.
"umm.."Sure" I huffed. I marched out of the kitchen my fists balled at my sides. I look up from the carpeted floor and to my surprise Sam was heading in my direction. He paused in front of me,
"Leah. Hey." he smiled awkwardly. We hadn't spoken since the fight at Emily's. I prayed to God he couldn't hear my heart beat accelerate. I shifted my feet,
"Mom needs your help setting the table." he nodded.
"Alright." he touched my shoulder squeezing it gently. I fought off the urge to have him touch me again. I watched as he maneuvered through the kitchen carrying heavy plates and utensils to the dinning room. I watched as a pregnant Emily stood up and began helping him. Her belly had grown exceptionally large. She was only 3 months along in her pregnancy. My aching heart lurched at the thought of her having twins. Sighing, I turned my attention else where.
Everyone chatted happily at the two large dinner tables we had set up in the dining room. I kept to myself. There wasn't much to talk about and people didn't really put out an effort to include me in their conversations, which was fine by me. I quietly picked at the slice of meat and vegetables on my plate, not really hungry surprisingly. "So Leah," shocked that someone actually acknowledged me, I turned my head in the direction of which the voice came. My uncle Embry smiled at me. He was middle aged drunk and part of the Elders, but a pretty cool guy. Owned his own jazz bar and let me drink for free. Of course he never let my mom know this or the other members of the council. That's why he was so cool. Better than the other old stuck up asses.
"Any plans for your birthday?" uncle Embry asked. I shrugged my
shoulders.
"I might go out or something." I lied. I didn't have plans. If anything I'd probably waste away with a bottle of grey goose in my hand. I hoped I'd be spending it with Edward. I quickly dismissed the thought.
"Will you be hanging with Edward? You guys seem pretty close." My eyes widened at Seth's outburst. Everyone at the table gasped.
"That bloodsucker?" Paul shook his head in disgust.
Sam's head snapped in my direction.
"Since when have you took a liking to the leeches?" he asked bitterly.
I rolled my eyes,
"Since you and everyone else decided I wasn't needed let alone wanted around." I retorted.
"Please Leah, don't be silly. We do want you around. We just don't want you attitude around. Besides, you can't expect our own enemy to treat you better." he snorted. My blood began to boil.
"He does actually. He treats me better than you ever could." Shit! Please don't let him take it the wrong way. I silently begged in my mind.
"So, all this time you haven't been around you've been screwing around with that leech?" he looked at me disgusted.
"I knew changing the treaty would be a mistake." he muttered. "What the hell were you thinking, Leah? He's already in love if you haven't noticed. You always want someone you can't have. How long have you two been seeing each other?" he slamed his fist down on the table, shocking everyone.
"It has to have been a while. I should of known." he shook his head.
I gasped. Everyone at the table fell silent. If my heart wasn't broken before it was now. I felt a numbing pain as his harsh words ran repeatedly through my head. Always want someone you can't have. His words pierced through my heart like a sharp bullet. I quickly composed myself sending him the iciest glare I could muster.
"What the hell is that suppose to mean? You think we're fucking you idiot?" my voice was full of hurt.
"Leah, mind your language." my mother shot. I ignored her.
"You're never home, you're never out patrolling, nor do you attempt to bond with the pack. You've been spending time with those filthy monsters the whole time. Knowing you, you've probably been dying to get your claws in one of them. I will not allow this Leah, Not in MYpack!" Sam yelled with so much force.
"He's my fucking friend Sam, I'd never want him in that way." lie.
"You sure about that Leah?" He eyes pierced into my own as if he knew the truth. He couldn't of, I was only being paranoid. "
This type of behavior could get you exiled." his gaze turned to the elders and they nodded in agreement.
"Says the one who allowed the leeches to walk on our very land, the land where our very own ancestors are buried who died fighting their kind." I growled. I took a small relaxing breath to keep my self from phasing at the dinner table,
"I don't want Edward in that way." lie.
"Neither would I ever wish to want you." Not completely a lie.
"You egoistical asshole. Go fuck your self and die!" I stood up and excused myself walking out the front door. I could hear the commotion from everyone gathered in the house. Their disputes were centered on me. I growled. I needed to get away from these fuckers and their accusing eyes.
I ran through the forest quickly peeling off my clothes and taking my wolf form. It was dark. The night air cold for the summer of august. The dirt of the earth felt good beneath my paws as I took off at a really fast pace. I didn't know where to go I just ran. I contemplated going to my special spot but I had the sudden urge to talk to dad. I traveled the short distance to the large cliff looking over the now dark blue ocean. I didn't bother phasing back.
I sat on my hind legs staring up at the deep full moon. The wind was blowing gently and I let out a silent cry to my.
I miss you dad. I need your guidance. I howled at the moon pain etched throughout my voice. How could Sam hurt me so much, Father? I should of listened to you. You warned me he was no good and yet I fell for his charm. I was ready to marry him. And then he just left me and god damn he didn't even fight! He didn't even fight for what we had, what we shared. I howled again.
I was in agony. The forest behind me was quiet. I had scared all the animals away with my howling. And possibly frightened all of La Push. Daddy what am I suppose to do? I shook my head. I try to move on. I honestly do, but I loved him. I gave my self to him and all he did was throw our love in my face. I thought of Edward. How much he's been there for me lately and how close we've become.
I like him daddy. I know he's not apart of the tribe but he's such a sweet guy. His old corny humor makes me laugh, and he stands up for me. He was there when Jake left even though I treated him and his family like shit. He's my best friend when no one else can't stand to seem to be around me. He puts up with my bitching. I sigh. Someone as sweet as Edward deserves Bella. Simple sweet cookie cutter Bella. I shouldn't be having these feeling for a leech. Especially an engaged leech. I'd be La Push's home wrecking whore if word got out. I need a sign dad . . .anything.
I looked up at the dark sky as the wind blew aimlessly through the forest. Brushing through the leaves gently. God I miss you so much daddy it's so hard watching mom sneak off with to Charlie and see Sam gush over the now pregnant Emily. I sighed. I'm sorry you must get tired of hearing me complain every time I come up here. I love you daddy and I'll be back to visit you soon. I stood still hoping for, I don't know. Maybe for him to magically appear in the clouds like in the Lion King movies but nothing eventually happened.
I took off in the direction back to my house not even bothering to use the front door remembering the fact that I was naked. I climbed up my two story house window and landed in my room with a soft thud. It was best I'd avoid the penetrating stares of the people below. I grabbed an oversized t-shirt and threw it on, too tired to get in the shower. Once everyone had left the house, I grabbed my phone and dialed a number I had never thought of dialing before. His phone rang twice before I heard his voice speak.
"Leah?" I smiled.
"Edward." I spoke. My tone held a slight edge to it. I cleared my throat. As if sensing that something was wrong with me, he asked, "Is something wrong?" I sighed,
"Everything. Everything is wrong Cullen." I heard slight nose in the background before I heard his voice.
"Would you like me to come over?" he asked genuinely concerned. I was about to tell him yes, but then I remembered he's probably with Bella right now.
"Nah that's alright. I just needed to hear your voice." I clamped my mouth shut. Seriously the word vomit thing is getting old. I need to get my shit together. I quickly stammer out an apology. And he chuckles, making the situation less awkward for me. "And I'm the creepy stalker, Leah?" he laughed.
"Definitely" I giggled.
"Hey Edward?" I spoke softly into the phone.
"Yes, love?" He answered back his voice velvety smooth sent shock waves down my spine. I stopped all train of thought instantaneously. What am I doing? Nothing good could ever come from this. Whatever this was. He had to have felt the connection we had whenever we were around. It couldn't of just been mean. Then again Edward couldn't be the slightest bit interested in me. And even if he was it wouldn't matter. He's with Bella. Sweet innocent Mary-sue, Bella. Okay so I'm totally saying that out of jealousy. Bella always gets the guy. I sighed,
"Never mind. Goodnight Edward."
"Are you sure you're okay." I laughed an attempt to hold my self together, but it ended up sounding strangled.
"I'm perfectly fine. Now go back to creepily watching your girlfriend in her sleep, while you masturbate in a corner." I heard him began choking through the phone. I giggled.
"Happy Birthday beautiful. Sweet dreams." I looked over at the clock resting on my nightstand. It read 12:01. I was now another year older, wiser.
"Thanks Cullen. Good night." I flipped my phone shut and placed it on my bed side table. I was now 21, and yet nothing has changed with my life. I wasn't looking forward to the same birthday routine that I've been going through for the past two years. And yet as I drifted off to sleep I had the feeling that something would change. Maybe it was my crazy ass imagination, but I couldn't fight off this feeling that something would change within me.