Happy Saturday!
We're moving along nicely now, I think... I hope. The week's been kind of rough for me. I fell sick again :P
Anyway, I just felt the need to share this with you guys because it's made my day: I finally received my end semester results and I've managed to clear all my modules, and even snagged an A for computer programming. Engineering is a nightmare to me, so this is really good news. Whew!
With that, enjoy!
(Also, I don't know if I should up the rating to M or not. Thoughts?)
10
Huddled beside the metalbender, Azula looked over the edge of the bison's body and stared down at the royal palace. She'd always imagined herself returning one day, even if it was a foolish and distant dream, but she'd never thought it would be like this. She didn't think her hands would be bound, for one. She was supposed to be the Princess—not a prisoner in her own homeland.
Such idle fancies, Azula thought to herself with a grimace.
Soft raindrops flew into her face as the sky bison began dropping into a slow descent, inching away from the auburn afternoon sky and edging closer to the ground. She glanced absently at Aang, who kept his eyes forward as he eased his beastly friend downwards from the reins. Katara was already packing up, kneeling beside the old waterbender who was just coming out of his slumber. The girl met Azula's empty gaze for a second or two before looking away.
Katara had been quick, but Azula was quicker.
They were glad to be finally rid of her.
Just like everyone else.
Appa landed in the royal plaza with an almighty thud, and Azula rose immediately. She kept her face unreadable as she descended from the beast's saddle, and felt Toph shuffle up beside her. She kept her eyes forward, all the while wishing for time to pass faster. The prospect of speaking to Zuko after so long left a bad taste in her mouth. She knew he wouldn't have anything nice—or sensible, at the very least—to say, and she had an inkling as to what he was going to do with her after. Her muscles began to tense as they started walking, with Aang in the lead.
She hung her head slightly when they ascended the pearly white steps, and fixed a stare at nothing in particular. It had been so long that the entire place ceased to welcome her. It felt nothing like home. She now walked the floors of a foreign place, one that didn't particularly appreciate her presence. Everything felt cold here, and it wasn't just because of the rain.
Even as she averted her gaze from anyone and everyone, she could feel the eyes of the guardsmen watching her. It wasn't hard to imagine their faces; all twisted with horror and maybe even rage. She lifted her eyes at the top of the steps and looked over her shoulder, catching the eye of the nearest soldier. He jerked back in surprise under her hard gaze, and fidgeted uncomfortably when she did not look away.
Azula was beginning to find the fun in staring him down when a hand tugged her by the arm. She whipped her head back and saw Toph and the questioning look on her face. "Come on. They're waiting for us up ahead."
It didn't occur to her that she'd slowed into a stroll, and she began walking again. The metalbender stayed by her side, keeping her hands by her side. After a while, her green eyes flicked over to Azula, stark with apprehension. "He's going to lock you up again, isn't he?"
Azula's expression grew slightly darker as she looked towards Toph. "Without a doubt," she answered evenly. "Either that or I'll die. I've upset a lot of people—but that's old news, of course. I can't imagine my brother, the Fire Lord, would let me off so easily this time."
There was a long pause before Toph spoke again, "And?"
"And what? Does there have to be more to it?" Azula lifted her bound hands and curled her fingers so that she could see her nails. Dried blood lay under them, mixed with dirt and soil. Slowly, she began to pick at her nails, concentrating more on that act rather than the conversation.
A soft scowl escaped the lips of the metalbender as she shoved her hands forcefully into the reaches of her pockets, a gesture that Azula now recognized as a habit. "Never mind, it doesn't matter," she huffed, and fell silent.
"Finish what you've started," Azula demanded, looking up from her nails and frowning at the younger girl, "What were you going to say?"
"I wasn't going to say anything." The metalbender shrugged and increased the pace of her steps, her footfalls echoing in the vastness of the palace as they entered it together. "Just forget I said anything, Fire Lily."
"Speak your mind, Beifong. It's not like I have all the time in the world to wait for you to admit things to me."
Her words seemed to have an effect on Toph as she reluctantly ground to a halt. "Didn't you save my life back there?"
"Yes, I did. What's your point?"
Toph looked ready to punch something.
"So don't tell me you went to all that trouble just to get me out of harm's way only to stuff yourself back into that cell of yours at the end of the day."
Now it was Azula's turn to stop walking. She locked her fingers together tightly as she turned on her heel. "What do you want to hear from me, exactly?" Even I don't know what I want to hear from me.
Toph crossed her arms over her chest and managed a glare. "Tell me how you feel. You know, human beings have things called emotions—those things. Tell me."
"What makes you think I feel anything right now?" Azula narrowed her eyes. "Why do you want to hear it?"
"'Cause I want to," sighed Toph, "Do you have to be so hard to handle all the time?"
"This is hardly me being difficult. Ask Zuzu. Now, you tell me—what do you want me to say?"
"Tell me why you came back for me. And don't change the subject."
Azula's fingers dug into her own skin as she drew in her breath. She closed her eyes and forced her drumming heartbeat to slow down, and thought of things that didn't make her shudder. She thought of the dead bodies that surrounded her. She thought of the little cat that was now missing. She envisioned things that people could not see through, like dull, dreary skies. Blue flames danced in the palm of her hand as she stood underneath the gray sea, and she could almost feel their familiar warmth.
That same heat traveled up her arm and up her neck as hands cupped her face. She kept her eyes closed tight as soft lips landed atop hers, and found that she could no longer picture her flames. The drumming started again, this time much louder, and she swayed to the side slightly as she inhaled Toph's heady scent. She then thought of vast grasslands that never ended.
This is why.
When Toph trailed her kisses all the way up to Azula's ear, the firebender seized the chance and pressed her lips against the girl's jawline. She felt the metalbender tense under her touch, and continued kissing her all the way down to her collarbone.
This is why I saved you.
Toph's lips parted against her skin as though she was going to say something, but Azula refused to let her do so and bit the side of her neck. The effect of her action was instantaneous—Toph gasped and buried her face in Azula's hair as her hands reached up to her neck, effectively holding her in place. If she hadn't been so caught up in the act, Azula might have smirked. It was far too simple to deal with this girl—Toph had an undeniable weakness for her.
Azula told herself she was in control. Her hands slithered downwards, delighting in the lean, muscled body of the metalbender.
It didn't take Azula long to remember where they were and what they were supposed to do. She pulled away from Toph's hold on her and took a step back, watching the rise and fall of Toph's chest as the girl fought to keep her composure.
"Um, guys?" a voice echoed from a distance away, "What are you two doing back here? Zuko's waiting for you, Azula."
In a flash, the Avatar was wedged in between the two. He was blissfully oblivious of what just happened, and Azula felt sure he would collapse from embarrassment had he known. She fought the urge to laugh as he walked off, gesturing for them to follow. "Come on, he wants to see you."
"I doubt it's for the reason you think," Azula said, her voice uncharacteristically chirpy, but followed after Aang nonetheless. She cast a glance back at Toph, whose face was creased with concentration as though she was deep in thought. Azula let her gaze linger for a while before turning back to the front, once she'd caught Zuko's voice from the reaches of the throne room.
He was pacing up and down when she entered the room, biting his lip until it turned white. His fingers were tightly knotted together behind his back as he walked, his robes flapping behind him like extensions of his unease and apprehension. Azula couldn't help but think that he looked nothing like a Fire Lord, and that he was merely trying on the outfit for size.
When he realized she was there, he looked up almost warily, his golden eyes gleaming with what seemed to be relief and fear mixed into one. After a long, hard stare, Zuko cleared his throat and straightened himself, keeping his hands behind him. "I can't believe you'd pull a stunt like that."
Is that all you can say? "Good to see you too, brother," Azula let out an artificial chuckle, "It's nice to know I was missed, though you could have expressed that a few years earlier."
There was a moment when Azula thought he would actually wince, but the young Fire Lord held his ground. "Enough of that," Zuko said flatly, crossing over to where she stood in large steps, "What were you thinking, Azula? What are you playing at?"
"You ask me that as though I'm always playing a game whenever I decide to do something. Zuzu, I'm hurt. I'm much more serious than that. You know me." She smiled coyly at him.
"No, you're not! I don't know you at all!" Zuko's golden eyes were blazing, the way hers did whenever she was angry. Granted, its intensity was not quite as intimidating, but Azula had to admit there was a stark similarity. It was perhaps the only thing that bound the two of them together as siblings, until the very end. "You—you don't understand what you've done, Azula. The whole city—the whole nation! They're asking for your head and for me to step down because they think I'm incompetent for letting you escape!"
Azula resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "I'm disappointed they realize that only now."
The Fire Lord's flames grew in intensity as Zuko took one more step towards her, so that they were only inches away from each other. His voice was a deep, resonating growl. "Stop it."
She met his eyes with a fire of equal strength in her own, engaging in the age old staring contest she'd always have with him when they were younger. The only difference was that they were much older, and their problems were larger, to say the least. Predictably, his gaze wavered after half a minute passed. She almost smiled.
"What are you going to do if I don't? Execute me? Make me stand trial and then execute me? Pick your poison, Zuzu, and pick it quickly!" She stepped around him and walked up to the empty throne, surrounded by furiously tall flames. "Killing me is the only answer, is it not?"
"No, it's not," Zuko said, a little more calmly this time, "As much as the world seems to think so, you're still my sister."
Azula laughed again, despite herself. She couldn't believe how fickle he was, even at this point. "And what does that mean?"
She faced her back to the throne, watching Zuko with unsympathetic eyes. He seemed to be choking on his own words as he averted his gaze and turned away, so that she could only see his good eye. "Don't change the subject. I want to know why you did what you did."
"What does that matter? You've already got me back here. I'm ready to be shipped back to my room in chains. Shouldn't that be enough for you?" She sneered at him. "I'll disappear once more, and perhaps this time I'll stay put."
His eyes glistened with sadness, but he blinked it away as soon as he realized Azula was staring. "It's not that simple, and you know it," he strode past her and made his way back to the throne, "Things are happening because of you. The city is at a constant unrest because they fear what might happen now that you're here in the palace. Some of my most loyal men, or so they claimed, have defected from the military, from the city… to support these rebels that are growing in number. Don't you realize how serious that is? Locking you away won't make it all go away."
"And letting me wander around like this will?" Azula frowned up at the Fire Lord. "I never did understand your lesser ways."
"If I put you back in the asylum, you're only going to break out again," Zuko looked down at her from his throne. Azula couldn't help but marvel at how much he looked like their father as the shadows played upon his face. He looked fearsome, but she knew better. He was just a boy, at the end of the day, trying to accomplish something that was hardly an admirable endeavor. "And besides, spending four years in there didn't seem to change you at all."
"Everyone wants me to change," Azula sighed, with as much melodrama as propriety allowed. "It's not like it's going to make the world a better place or anything like that. No one's going to believe in my goodness. I'm pure evil, or so they say. But I am curious… if I don't get to go back there, then where do I go from here?"
"You're staying right here, where I can keep a close eye on you."
"You can't be serious," Azula fixed a hard gaze on him, "That sounds a little too good to be true, Zuzu."
"I'm not going to let you run around on your own, if that's what you're thinking. You're going to stay in the palace and undergo proper rehabilitation here, where no one can touch you. I'm trying to protect you, Azula. Why can't you just see that?"
"Protect me—the most dangerous war criminal after our own father." Azula smirked. "If this is a dream, I'm ready to wake up now."
The young Fire Lord slumped into his seat. "This isn't funny! I'm being serious." He let out an exasperated sigh. Flames might as well have emerged from his mouth. "You're my sister."
"I heard you the first time, brother." Azula pretended to ponder over his words for a while, walking slowly in a circle before finally stopping before him again. "Hasn't it occurred to you that your foolish sentimentality might just get you killed?"
To her surprise, Zuko almost smiled.
"You can't kill me." There was a challenging tone to his voice, one that brought back memories of their last Agni Kai. She knew he was thinking of it too.
"Your confidence is disgusting," Azula said darkly. "Why? Is it because you have no problem redirecting lightning like our dear uncle? Or is it because the Avatar is here, and you have nothing to fear?"
He looked slightly remorseful now, "You know why."
"You're a fool!" Azula hissed, glaring angrily at her brother, "Stop underestimating me—it's not like I've lost the ability to firebend completely!" I am not defined by my blue flames. I am not. She chanted this in her head until it was all she heard, and clenched her fists so tightly her own nails sunk into her palms.
Zuko barely flinched at the ferocity in her voice. He tapped his finger lightly on his armrest. "Maybe," he said, "but you're losing it, Azula. You know it, and I know it. Maybe your firebending doesn't matter because you're still good at it, but there's more to a person than power and skill."
"Keep talking, little Zuzu," Azula said in a sing-song voice, "It's not like I'm listening, you know! You may be the Fire Lord to everyone else but to me, and to father, you're still a child. I may be losing it, but you're not any better! How are you going to control your nation now that it thinks you're useless? Are you going to talk to them and promise that you'll make me behave? Or are you going to punish them for giving you no respect at all?"
Zuko's eyes narrowed.
Azula clicked her tongue and lifted her eyes to the ceiling and the intricate carvings that were littered all over it. "Choose wisely, brother. It's all up to you."
"Enough."
"Perhaps," she mumbled to herself, and lowered her gaze. "So I'm staying, then?"
"Yes," he nodded curtly, "The doctors will be moved here so they can observe you on a daily basis, as usual. I'll also be assigning you a therapist."
"Not the one I almost killed, I hope. We've only met once, but I think she's had enough. I still remember the way she looked at me. It must have been quite the story."
"Lucky for her, it isn't," Zuko's eyes traveled to somewhere behind Azula, "It's Nilak."
The former princess glared from her brother to the old waterbender. "Really, now?"
"He didn't choose me," Nilak spoke up, "I volunteered."
Azula grimaced. "Predictable."
"Oh don't worry. I won't let them stick needles into you this time. Actually, I was thinking we might start doing some painting once you're well rested."
She scowled and faced her back to the waterbending master, ignoring him completely. "So that's it, then? I'm just going to spend the rest of my days in here trying to learn how to be a nice person? By doodling?"
Zuko's lips twitched at the corners. "If that's what you're calling it."
"This is ridiculous, even for you."
Without even blinking, the Fire Lord raised his hands slightly and clapped loudly. The double doors opened with a loud creak as two guards entered the throne room, one of them holding a pair of metal cuffs. Azula stared intently at the one who was replacing the rope with the metal accessory and watched with amusement as beads of sweat trickled down the front of his face, his eyes filled with unmistakable fear as he caught her looking.
Once he was done, he took a step back from her. She could see the relief flood his face as he did so, and shot him a smirk. "Nicely done."
"Take my sister to her room. She is not allowed to leave unless she has my permission."
"I know how to get there by myself," Azula said loudly, brushing past Aang and the rest without even looking at them. She turned back at the last moment, before walking out the door, and caught Zuko's gaze. "How is father, by the way?"
For one reason or another, the Fire Lord tamed his flames.
"Leave him behind, Azula. Like the ashes of everything we've burnt before."
Katara entered her room after a few rough knocks on the door. Azula looked up at the waterbender from behind her bangs and watched the girl set down a bowl of water at her bedside. Tentatively, the water tribe girl sat herself down on Azula's bed and seemed to fix her gaze on Azula's cuffs.
"You're not planning to drown me in here, are you?" Azula raised her head so that her bangs slid from her face.
"Hardly," Katara said, her tone glassy and detached, "Turn around and let me see your injury."
Azula contemplated going against her order, but relented in the end. She shifted so that her back was facing Katara, and felt the girl's fingers run down the length of her hair before parting it in the middle, searching for the spot where she'd hit her head. She was being unnecessarily gentle, but it was better than having her hair yanked off, so Azula remained silent.
She could only assume Katara was washing the blood from her hair when she felt water trickling down her neck and under her robes. Repressing a shudder, Azula closed her eyes and relaxed. "It would have healed by itself in due time, you know."
"You don't know a lot about injuries, then," Katara said flatly.
"If you didn't want to come, then you should have asked the old man instead. He might be an incessant talker, but at least he doesn't outwardly despise me like you."
Katara snorted. "It's not like you care if people like you or not. You don't care much at all, do you?"
"It's funny how you paint me to be someone void of human emotion," Azula sighed, letting the cooling sensation release the tension in her muscles.
"It's funny how you make it sound like it isn't true."
"You have a knack for being ignorant."
"And you have a knack for being completely, utterly cruel," Katara snapped back with finality, and their spiteful banter ended there.
The soft swish of water ceased, and Azula turned around to face the dark-skinned girl. She frowned and leaned forward slightly as a thought arose in the depths of her ever-whirring mind. "If they took him instead, I am sure you wouldn't think me cruel at all. In fact, I think you'd understand."
Katara's blue eyes shone with confusion under the soft candlelight. "What are you saying?"
"Don't play dumb with me," Azula smiled, almost wistfully, "If they hurt the Avatar the way they hurt her… I know you wouldn't hold back either."
The waterbender looked away. "Like I said before, I'm not like you."
"Don't pretend you're better than I am, because you're not. It's clear how you feel about the little monk. Just wait, Sugar Queen," Azula shifted herself so that she was now sitting beside Katara, and contemplated her toes, "Wait for that day and then we'll see if you're nothing like me."
Katara whipped out her hand and snatched the bowl off the bedside table as she stood up, her face steeled. Azula watched as the girl crossed her room in large, angry steps. She stopped in front of the closed door and paused, before turning around to face the firebender with a grimace.
"This is why I think you should be kept away from everyone. All you ever do is hurt people, you know that?"
Azula turned away, almost mechanically. "I know. It hardly needs to be said, water tribe."
"Stay away from Toph," the waterbender said, and she was out the room before Azula could think of an appropriate response.
Her 'sessions' with Nilak were to begin the next day—thank Agni, she remarked in her head—so she spent the rest of her day playing idle games with herself, like counting the seconds until the sky turned a shade darker. She also resorted to picking unfortunate objects in her room, like a book or her old clothes, and placed them on the wooden window pane before turning it to ash and watching the wind carry it away.
Once she ran out of disposable past belongings, Azula sauntered over to the door and opened it slightly, so that only half her face could be seen through the crack. She stared at the same guard from before, and watched him train his eyes on something else, though his unease spilled from the inside of his helmet and dripped down his face.
She smiled when he finally looked at her, enjoying the fear swimming in his brown eyes. They reminded her of Ty Lee for some reason, and she slammed the door shut when she decided she'd had enough.
The full-length mirror in the corner of her room caught her attention next. Walking up to it, Azula watched with careful eyes as the girl in the mirror approached her. She grimaced at the tired lines that ravaged her face, and brought up her bound hands to her cheek and dragged one finger down to her jawline. Her skin was rougher now, and her features were unpleasantly adorned with cuts and dried bloodstains.
She leaned in towards the girl and found dark rings keeping her eyes prisoner.
"Now you really look like a monster," she said out loud, forcing a smile, "I guess they were all right about you."
Her reflection smiled back at her, as though offering up a silent, bitter agreement.
"Don't look so disappointed, you knew this was coming from the beginning. You're completely… utterly… cruel, or so the peasant says."
She drew back from the mirror, but kept her eyes on the girl on the other side. She'd been so busy looking into the same tired eyes that she hadn't even noticed a second person in the mirror looking at her.
"You look so tired, daughter."
Immediately, the muscles in her face became rigid. She straightened herself and glared at the woman that had just invaded her privacy. "What are you doing here?"
"You needed company, so here I am."
"I don't need your company. I'm perfect without you."
The woman offered her a sad smile, her eyes glistening. "You don't believe that."
"Shut up. You don't know me," Azula snarled, the daggers in her golden eyes sharpening with every word, "Get out of my face."
"But what will you do when you're all alone?" Ursa's eyes grew sad as her mouth formed into a slight pout. Azula scowled; she hated it when her mother made that face. It made her feel like everything was her fault. It was sickening. It left a bad taste in her mouth.
"I will survive," Azula replied, her tone colder than winter's breath, "like I always did without you. Don't act like you care all of a sudden… I know you just feel guilty and you're trying to make yourself feel better by pretending to be a good mother."
"How can you say that?"
Azula closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Because it's true. We've talked about this so many times, I've lost count. Try to keep up, won't you?"
She was more than surprised to find Ursa still standing there, in the same spot, when she opened her eyes a moment later.
"Still here?" she said, raising an eyebrow. "You're unusually persistent today."
"What have I done to you to receive such treatment, Azula?" Ursa took a few steps forward, her hand reaching out to touch Azula. But the former princess knew better. Ursa never touched her. She would always reach out to her, but she would never touch her.
"How many years has it been?" Azula laughed, though the sound was far from joyous. It didn't sound like anything at all, in fact—it was hollow. "You've been asking me the same question over and over as though I haven't given you a proper answer."
"That's because you haven't."
"No, it's because you didn't listen. You never listen to me."
"I'm listening now."
Azula gnashed her teeth together. "But you'll come back anyway. No matter what I say. You're pathetic, and you're annoying. You're like a parasite that won't ever leave me alone. You'll never leave until the day I die, and even then… even then I feel like you'll still find your way back to me. You disgust me, you know that?"
Ursa's face fell. "I know. But I want to at least try…"
"You've tried enough!" Azula screamed at the mirror. "You had your chance, all those years ago! All you ever did was avoid the subject. You never told me what I wanted to hear from you but you told him everything he needed—wanted! It's enough. It was enough for me to see that you had your hands full with your precious little boy, so you had no time for the little girl who always stood by, watching you two, wishing—"
Her sentence ended midway, interrupted by a violent, guttural sob. Azula hung her head and let her hair fall over her face, so she wouldn't have to watch herself cry in the mirror. It was enough that she was falling apart—she didn't have to watch it happen herself.
"My poor child," Ursa whispered. "I am so sorry."
"You're not—sorry! Just leave!"
The tears rolled down her cheeks as the clouds let loose their turbulent nature. She slammed a fist onto the wooden surface as she moaned, hating every wretched sob that escaped her lips. She scratched the table's surface with her fingernails, letting the small splinters gather under them until they began to prick her like tiny needles. She blinked the tears out of her eyes and let them fall to onto the wood as large, wet blotches until her eyes were dry.
Her throat was still tight when she looked up, and saw her companion in the mirror with identically reddened eyes.
"Don't tell anyone," she whispered, wiping away the tears from her face. She hiccupped loudly right after, and this went on for some time as she stood facing herself. It wasn't until the sharp breathing stopped that she realized her mother had finally disappeared.
She forced a smirk onto her face, despite her current state.
Her mother always left when she began to cry.
Nightfall came upon the city like a thief, or so it seemed to Azula. She'd merely closed her eyes for a few seconds, and suddenly the orange sun was gone. The blue sky had all but disappeared, and in its place stood a never ending blackness, littered with tiny diamonds. In the middle of all that sat the moon and its silvery light lit her room up only slightly, mixing with the soft orange glow from the candles.
When she sat up, her heart shot up to her throat. The metalbender was sitting at the edge of her bed with a contemplative look on her face. Azula had a strong feeling that the girl would have taken to watching her sleep if she hadn't been blind.
Her chains clinked noisily as she pushed the covers from her lap, catching the attention of Toph completely.
The girl looked almost regretful. "Did I wake you?"
"No. What are you doing here?"
Toph pursed her lips, and then allowed a small, honest smile to grace her features. "I don't know. I just thought I'd… drop by. I couldn't sleep."
"How charming," Azula said. "Am I assuming too much if I ask whether the guards let you in willingly?"
"Yeah, you are." A roguish grin broke out across the metalbender's face. "Technically, no one's allowed to see you unless they've got permission. Sparky's orders. I'd ask him for permission, but I think he'd find it suspicious that I'd want to see you in the middle of the night."
"Very suspicious indeed… Well then, since you are an unwelcome guest, state your business quickly and leave."
Toph shook her head, but kept her grin. "Are you for real?"
Azula had to laugh at this point. "Sometimes I wonder the very same thing. However, I really don't know what you want from me here. You're going to have to tell me, or else we'll just sit here for the rest of the night being coy with each other."
"I'd like that, actually." Toph crossed her arms over her chest as her eyes gleamed challengingly.
"So do I."
There was a long pause. The silence was thick with tension, and Azula fought to keep her hands where they were.
"Damn. Denial isn't a good look on you, Fire Lily."
The former princess' expression grew dark, but there was a playfulness in her voice, a rare lightheartedness. "You'd be the last person on this earth to know what good looks on me and what does not."
The metalbender chuckled and waved her hand absently in Azula's direction. The cuffs dropped from Azula's wrists suddenly and fell heavily into her lap. "That's what I like about you. You're the only one who isn't afraid of making jokes like that."
"Is that so? Do you mean to say that I'm the only one who disregards your feelings?"
"Not really. Like I said, I like it when you do that."
A wicked grin broke out across Azula's face as she rubbed her wrists. "I am certain that that's not the only thing you like about me."
Toph snorted. "It's not like I'm crazy about you, Fire Lily."
"Oh," Azula stretched the word with a teasing lilt in her voice, "What a shame. Just the opposite is true about me."
The metalbender raised an eyebrow.
"We didn't finish our business in the forest, did we?" Azula crawled over to the younger girl and stretched herself across Toph's lap like a cat. "Is that why you broke into my room? To pick up where we left off?"
Toph's hand found hers, in the midst of the teasing. Their fingers intertwined all too easily as she bent over so she was only inches away from Azula's face. Her breath came in small, gentle puffs as she spoke.
"You tell me."
The former princess chuckled, looking up at the blind girl towering over her. "Lust is not such a foreign concept that I cannot see it in your eyes."
"I tried not to come," Toph said, drawing back suddenly. Her expression grew unnaturally serious. "But I just couldn't help it. Sugar Queen keeps reminding me that you're dangerous—and I kinda agree with her, but… I had to know."
"Know what it's like to have me?" Azula pressed Toph's hand up against her heaving chest. "Know what it's like to be with such a wild thing?"
The metalbender blushed at the intimate contact, but made no move to pull away. "I can't believe I'm doing this." Her voice was barely a whisper.
"Don't be ashamed, it's perfectly normal to want something beautiful."
Toph laughed almost breathlessly. "I wish I could see you."
Azula's smile lessened. "It wouldn't make a difference. Besides, you see through different methods." Her grip tightened as she dragged Toph's hand slowly across her chest. "Like when you touch me with your hand like this. Wouldn't you agree?"
Toph cleared her throat and shifted uncomfortably where she sat. "So do you really have those wings?"
"No, and before you ask, I don't have the pink horns either."
Toph's nose wrinkled. "What a shame."
"I know you don't really think so, so let's just stop wasting our time."
Azula reached up to hook Toph's collar with two fingers and tugged her downwards, straining to keep her wits about her as she finally bridged the painful distance between their mouths. Toph dived right into the kiss as Azula brought her hands up to hold her face, feeling the way the girl melted into her touch. They stayed like this for a while as Azula seized the moment to taste and memorize the sweetness on the metalbender's lips. Flowers seemed to bloom in her mind, polluting the darkness with a fragrance she couldn't quite get enough of.
Her hands pushed their way into Toph's hair as she leaned over. She was surprised to find herself meeting with daring resistance; Toph's hands rested on her shoulders and held her still. The younger girl tore away with flushed cheeks and green fire in her eyes, come to life under the silver light. They sparkled with something else as she spoke; something was surely present in Azula's own eyes.
"Why does it feel so…" she paused, and for a moment her breathing was all they heard, "Why does it feel like I'm fighting you?"
The question tickled Azula more than it should have, and the former princess laughed. "Do you really think I'm going to make it easy for you?"
Her features glowed delightfully in the radiance of the firelight. Azula smiled only slightly, and took one hand in her own. She brought it up to her face and kept it there as Toph caressed her skin in slow, soothing strokes. She shuddered as fingers snaked into her hair, and wondered through half-lidded eyes if the metalbender could generate lightning of her own.
Her eyes closed shut as she pressed her lips against Toph's again, kissing her until they were both weak in the knees. She felt the girl's eyelashes flutter against her skin as she pulled her closer, and thought of butterflies. Gradually, she trailed kisses down to Toph's neck, enjoying the way the girl's sighs sounded like the first strains of a melody. Every kiss and bite sent the girl in her arms into a quaking ecstasy, and she held her closer every single time she whimpered.
Azula eventually found herself in the position she'd craved for. Straddling Toph's hips once more, Azula let her hands travel up the girl's stomach at a teasing pace, feeling mini earthquakes rippling through the metalbender's lean body as she did so. Pressing her body down on top of hers, Azula planted her plump lips on Toph's neck and reveled in the way the girl squirmed under their contact. She couldn't help herself and bit the same spot, eliciting strangled moans heavy with desire from the girl beneath her.
She made sure to watch Toph's face as she divested her of all her clothing, and watched the lust build up in her green eyes like a growing flame. She wet her lips as she sank lower, kissing Toph with a sudden fierceness that nearly had the metalbender coming undone completely. The girl's fingers fumbled, albeit urgently, as she tore the layers of clothing away from what lay beneath, and Azula had to shudder as her bare body made contact with the chilly air.
"Patience," she hissed, her lips pressed up against Toph's ear.
The blind girl lying beneath her actually growled. Within the blink of an eye, Azula was flipped over effortlessly and she found herself in a state of vulnerability. She looked up at the girl with eyes that shimmered with wonder, and felt her heart flutter violently when she thought Toph's eyes met her own. She had to remind herself that the girl was blind.
Their bodies thawed together as they sought to meld into one body, their sighs and moans filling the silence. Azula squeezed her eyes shut as flaming suns rose in the blackness of her mind. Her fingernails sank into Toph's back and left red marks in their wake as they pieced each other together with every lingering kiss and soothing touch. Azula could hear Toph's every sigh and the slight escalation that came with every moan as clearly as she heard her own and allowed the girl enter her system like a sickness.
She welcomed the sweet, sweet ruination.
She arched her back at the last moment as she went blind with the pleasure that washed over her like a tidal wave, and heard herself begging for more until she'd finally had enough. Their voices came together like an odd song; an imperfect harmony that seemed to resonate even from the depths of her soul.
Everything about that moment was wrong, but she wished it would go on forever.
"Hey." The whisper sounded more like a scream above the blood pumping in her ears.
Her eyes flew open in response and she found herself curled up against the heated body of the metalbender, and turned on her side so that she now faced the girl. Toph's face glistened with sweat as a tiny smile played upon her lips.
"You liked it," Azula said, in a matter-of-fact tone. She absently pushed away the wet clumps of hair that clung to Toph's face, trying to ignore the wild stampede that was threatening to break out from her chest.
"It hardly needed saying, Azula."
Almost instantly, Azula snapped back like a rubber band. Her heart seemed to stop as she drew in her breath sharply in a bid to get it working again. She tried not to shiver from the way Toph said her name and forced herself to sit up. This would not do.
Toph followed suit, perhaps because she sensed the sudden tension, and drew closer to Azula. When the firebender said nothing, choosing to keep her eyes forward and her mouth a tight line, Toph leaned in and kissed her softly on the cheek. The gesture was so gentle, but the effect of it was akin to being struck by lightning. She shuddered, whether it was from the cool breeze that rushed into her room like an intruder or from the violent snapping of something inside her chest, and reached out for her robes.
"I'm assuming we're done, then?" Azula kept her voice calm as she dressed herself once she got to her feet.
She cast a sidelong glance at the metalbender on her bed, and watched her features contort with surprise. "Done?" she repeated, her jaw going slack.
"That's what I said. Your curiosity has been sated, yes?" Azula snatched the metal cuffs off the damp bed and sat back down beside Toph. "Put these back on me."
The cuffs snapped a little too tightly around her wrists and she scowled at the blind girl. Her metal binds tightened ever so slightly as Toph slid off the bed, clutching her clothes so tightly her knuckles became white. She dressed herself silently, glaring into blank space as Azula watched her quietly, tightlipped and pale in the face.
When Toph turned around, the light in her eyes had gone, like transient fireworks that were never meant to last. There was a dark shadow of understanding in them as she strode over to the door, her long hair swaying along with her rigid movement.
She stopped and turned around again, eyes glazing over to where she guessed Azula was. She looked like she wanted to say something, but Azula would not have it.
"Get out."
When the door closed, Azula slid off the side of her bed and walked over to the mirror. She was still sweating, and her breathing hadn't slowed yet. But it wasn't the tousled and frayed state Toph left her in that troubled her most. She leaned in and watched the twin suns glint without their usual fire; in their place stood naked terror.
In the next chapter, Azula does a little eavesdropping and learns how to draw.