An American Ninja in Konohagakure
A Naruto fanfiction by Andrew Joshua Talon
Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fan based parody. Naruto is the property of Shonen Jump, Viz and Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release.
This chapter written with help from Wind-Waker!
The Portal facility used to be Training Field 89. Now, it was marked off and used as an archive facility for out of date records. In other words, it was the perfect cover.
Why Naruto would be going there though, that was something he didn't think the cover story guys hadn't thought through. Unless he liked to go to boring crap. Maybe he got punished? He would have to think about that some as he went down to the bunker. He waved at the guards with a cheerful smile, and they opened the heavily sealed and reinforced door. Naruto walked in, and looked around the inside of the facility-Where he'd first shown up in this crazy world.
He smiled at the gray haired boy sitting at a computer nearby the portal. "Hey Kabuto!"
Kabuto smiled, pushing his glasses up as he regarded the younger boy. "Naruto! Nice to see you," he said. A few ANBU were working on various things, as was some blonde girl with large glasses. She hid her face behind a textbook as Naruto walked by. He looked over at Kabuto and kneeled down.
"So, did my mom and dad send through my gift yet?" Naruto asked eagerly. Kabuto nodded, handing over a heavily reinforced crate. Naruto eagerly opened it, and rummaged through the packing nuts.
"They did. Also, your mother wants you to remember that your score on your last math test was not good enough," Kabuto recounted. Naruto made a face.
"Aw come on! I've had plenty of other things to work on! And why would she get you to tell me?"
"Well," Kabuto said, smiling as he adjusted his glasses, "she thought I was trustworthy enough to relay it. Especially after our fascinating discussion on medicine differences between our worlds-Sorry, between us and 'Whirlpool'," Kabuto chuckled. Naruto grumbled, and pulled the gift out of the box. He blinked and turned it around as he held it. Kabuto hummed.
"Is there something wrong, Naruto-kun?" He asked kindly. Naruto lowered the suit, grinning.
"It's like... A Batsuit," Naruto said. "This is so awesome!" He ran off to the side room, which was reserved for discussions and privacy. Kabuto resumed his scrolling through the articles on genetic manipulation and modification. He waited, and waited...
"Hm? Naruto-kun?" Kabuto asked. He walked over to the room, and raised an eyebrow. Naruto was looking into the mirror on the wall... Mortified by the skin tight polymers, ceramic plates, and the... Prominent codpiece over his privates. Every muscle was defined, like his musculature was on display in the form of artificial materials.
"This... I can't do this! I can't go around... In this!" Naruto cried out. "My... It makes it look like I've got a hardon all the time!"
"Some ninjas would see that as a benefit," Kabuto said with that odd smile of his. There was a suspiciously feminine gasp and titter fromt he room beyond. Naruto flushed deeply, and scowled at him.
"That's not funny!" Naruto grumbled. "I can't go around in.. In this!"
"It is apparently a temperature maintaining Kevlar and Nomex weave suit, with polyceramic armored plating," Kabuto said, reading off the data from memory. He was good at that. "As you said, a 'Bat-suit'."
"But-But it's so... I mean...!" Naruto turned around in the mirror, wincing. "It shows off... Everything!" He hissed. "It's like I'm wearing nothing at all!"
"It does tend to draw the eye, I will admit," Kabuto said with a nod. Naruto groaned.
"Man... Isn't there anything to cover this up? At all?"
Kabuto shrugged, and held out a smaller package.
"Well, your mother also included some 'battle dress' uniforms," he said. "Coming in a variety of camouflage patterns for a variety of environments."
Naruto scowled at him. He snatched the package. "When were you going to tell me that?!" He demanded.
Kabuto shrugged, still smiling.
"I was thinking of letting you go out into public, but I took pity on you, Naruto-kun," he said cheerfully. Naruto flushed.
"You bastard!"
"Language, Naruto-kun! You wouldn't want me to tell your mother would you?"
"ARGH! You're evil!"
Kabuto smiled and shrugged. "Depends very much upon your point of view..."
"I can't believe we've finally graduated!"
"Yes Naruto," Sakura groaned, rubbing her forehead as she, Sasuke and Naruto walked alongside one another down the hall of the Academy's top floor. The three were finally preparing for their first meeting with their Jounin Sensei, the teacher who would instruct them in the early part of their careers as ninja. Naruto had been giddy all morning, having run by both her and Sasuke's house to make sure they woke up early in order to get to the Academy early. This meant that after last night's incident, she had gotten a profoundly small amount of sleep, and thus was far too cranky to deal with his rambunctious attitude.
"Idiot, he's said it five times since we got in the freaking building," Sasuke grumbled. He was much better at hiding his exhaustion, though one could still sense a bit of an edge to the boy. They finally reached their home room, and then filed into it. Sakura was genuinely surprised to see that their were actually some people already in the room, despite the announcements not being given for an hour.
In the very back of the room was Shino Abumare, a boy with spiky black hair and black shades. He didn't talk much, but he had never been especially rude either. Below him was Shikamaru Nara and his best friend Chogi Akimichi. That shocked Sakura, as she would have thought that they would be too lazy to actually get up early, but then it clicked why they were up when she stared in the front row, and saw Ino Yamanaka, who smiled an waved. While she and Sakura were both...enamored with Sasuke, they had managed to avoid the worst aspects of the fights that broke out, mostly due to the brooding thing he did dying off. That left one last seat to be filled, and sitting there, shyly trying to look away, was Hinata Hyuga. She was always the least social person in class, even compared to Shino, and some of her classmates claimed it was because she was thought she was too good as a Hyuga to spend time with commoners. This was wrong, as it was quite clear that she just was very introverted, and not that she thought she was some kind of-
"Princess!" Naruto shouted, waving at Hinata, causing her to jump slightly. Sakura sighed, noting that Naruto probably didn't help Hinata's self esteem with that nickname. He suddenly jumped up onto her desk, before continuing, "Man, you're not going to believe what me, Sasuke and Sakura went through last night! It was awesome! Also, kind of scary, but more awesome considering we're still alive!"
Sasuke tried to ignore Naruto's telling of the events with Mizuki, as he thought it didn't really matter how they got into the room. Though he had to admit, with the wild gestures Naruto threw around and the sounds effects he provided, one could tell he was telling the story rather effectively. Even Shino and Shikamaru were paying attention, though Sasuke was only guessing about the former.
CREAK
Sasuke's eyes widened at the sound. Most everyone else was too busy listening to the story to pay attention, but Sasuke knew that something was wrong. He looked around the room, trying to find out what it was, before returning his eyes to Naruto, and suddenly seeing the desk he was squating on as he spoke bend. And the bending was growing longer, and longer, until Sasuke realized he should tell someone about this.
"Naruto! You need t-"
But that was as far as he got, before the desk snapped, and Naruto suddenly fell forward. Unfortunately, Hinata was directly in his path. More unfortunately (or fortunately to one person in that room) his fall just so happened to cause their faces to come together, and for their lips to meet, and well...you know-kiss.
Three seconds later, Naruto found himself lip locking with Hinata on the floor, himself sprawled out over the girl. He pulled himself up quickly, noticing that her fae was about the shade of a tomato. As he thought about how best to deal with this situation, he felt two dark presences loom over him.
"Naruto," Ino and Sakura said at the same time, eerily in sync, "HOW DARE YOU!"
And thus Naruto was given the beating of a life time, all while the young girl currently lying unconscious had a massive grin over her face.
That they ended up on the same team was wonderful... Naruto guessed. Sakura beating him up again was kind of a sore point. Sasuke had finally gotten them off, stating only he could beat up Naruto.
Which had set the yaoi fangirls off like nothing else. But Naruto was used to that, too.
Which left them to wait... And wait... And wait...
"Team 7 is the best, yes it is. We're always going to break... Even?" Naruto tried rhyming. He shook his head. "Ugh! It sucks!"
"I'd say it would sound better in Japanese, but it's more accurate to say it would sound better not coming from you," Sasuke snorted. Naruto rolled his eyes.
"Once again, I was a choir boy!"
"I guess your audience was deaf," Sasuke shot back. Naruto huffed.
"Yeah yeah..." He sighed and leaned back in his chair, rocking back and forth. Sakura grimaced.
"I can't believe this. Is our teacher even coming?!"
"No, no, he's coming," Naruto sighed back. "I know who he is."
"You do? How?" Sakura asked, eyebrows rising. Naruto grinned.
"Because nobody is more tardy than the one, the only...!" He jumped out of his desk, and held his hands out like a presenter on a gameshow. "KAKASHI-SENSEI!"
Nothing happened... And nothing continued to happen, before the door opened. The tall, gray haired ninja entered, raising an eyebrow. Naruto beamed.
"See? Even late for his own cue!"
Sasuke and Sakura stared at eachother, and then at their sensei and teammate. Sakura raised her hand.
"Sensei... Is it possible for us to change to another team?"
"No," Kakashi stated, smiling with his one visible eye.
Sakura sighed. "I was afraid of that..."
"Now, you've done very well," Kakashi stated, "but to be my students... You need to pass my test."
"Another test? But didn't we graduate?" Sakura asked. Kakashi chuckled.
"Life is full of tests. Get used to it. Now, shall we continue?"
Ichiraku Ramen stand had become a regular meeting place for Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura. It seemed appropriate-It was where they first worked out their plan that led to Mizuki's downfall. And them being assigned to the same team. Ayame felt rather happy to have a part in their success, no matter how small.
Ayame found herself looking forward to the moment when the Team would show up-Naruto was so happy when he related how they had met their sensei. Their very strange, lazy sensei. Naruto had apparently been more familiar with him than the others, and he'd just laughed and waved his hand about their chances of passing.
"Peezoffcaake," he'd said in that strange language that had been popping up among the ninja of the village. Ayame didn't understand it, but Naruto always used a few phrases in it when he dropped by. She was interested in learning more about it... And maybe the strange boy himself.
He seemed so alone sometimes... Even with his friends.
She heard someone brush open the curtains to the stand, and she looked up with a bright smile. "Welcome to-Oh! Hello Naruto-kun! Sasuke-san, Sakura-san," she greeted. She blinked at the three exhausted, soot, dirt and grime covered genin. "Wha-What happened to you?!"
"It's... A long story," Naruto mumbled. He had no jacket, just ripped pants over a strange body suit. It t looked like it was made of rubber, plastic and metal, and conformed to his musculature very, very well. Sasuke's clothing had not faired much better, though all it revealed was rather pale skin-The boy didn't go out in the sun enough... Though he certainly worked out enough.
Ayame shook her head free of such inappropriate thoughts, and looked over at the final member of the team; Sakura was wearing a strange, green and black patterned jacket over her ruined dress. She was also looking at the boys and blushing every so often.
"Mah, mah, this is a celebration," another voice spoke, and a tall, gray haired man with a mask entered. He smiled with his one visible eye, and waved. "These are my adorable, gifted genin. Who passed my genin test today."
"Hooray," Sasuke mumbled. Naruto sat down on the stool, sighing.
"So let's have some celebratory ramen with the scars and medals of our victory," Naruto said.
"Hn," Sasuke grunted in agreement. Sakura sat down too, clutching the jacket tightly around herself as her teacher sat next to her. Kakashi smiled again, rubbing his cheek through his mask.
"Is... Is everything all right?" Ayame asked. Naruto shook his head.
"It's... Fine," he said. Another head poked through the door flaps-One belonging to a bowl headed man with a bright grin.
"Kakashi! My worthy rival!" Maito Gai cried, "apparently a training ground was completely annihilated! Have you any idea what happened?"
"Nope," Kakashi said, whipping out a familiar book. "I've been busy with my genin team the whole time anything like that might have been happening."
"Well! Keep a look out! And congratulations for passing Kakashi's test! HAHA! I believe you are the first to pass!" Gai said with a bright grin and a thumbs up. "Truly, the power of youth must have propelled you forward upon wings of victory!"
Gai departed with a twinkle in his teeth. Naruto groaned, Sakura sighed, and Sasuke rubbed his cheeks.
"Yeah, sure," Naruto mumbled, gladly taking his ramen and slurping it down-Without the help of chopsticks. Sasuke watched his teammate down the bowl, and turned to his own as soon as Ayame served it. He downed it in the same way, leading Sakura to stare in disgust.
"Ugh!" She muttered. Naruto finished the bowl, wiped his chin, and burped. "Naruto!"
"Excuse me," he muttered in that strange language. "Sorry, you want more Sakura?"
"I haven't even had any-"
"Then please just let me enjoy my ramen," Naruto sighed. "I gave you my jacket, isn't that enough?"
"I wouldn't need it if Kakashi-sensei would just let me go home?" Sakura growled. Kakashi beamed with his visible eye.
"Mah, mah, and miss out on this chance to celebrate with your team?"
"And make sure nobody knows who unleashed that giant jutsu that totaled the-" Sakura began, but Kakashi covered her mouth with his hand.
"Exactly. And to ensure my adorable genin don't get stuck cleaning up after it... With no jutsu," Kakashi said, still cheerful but with an edge. Naruto and Sasuke stared at the flushing Sakura.
"... I mean... What jutsu?" Sakura managed. Her male teammates nodded, and Kakashi chuckled.
"Smart girl..."
Look, I didn't want to rehash Kakashi's test again. So instead I just skipped to the aftermath. And yes, this is continuing... Kind of. We'll see.