AN:I have not given up on this story, I promise! Also, I apologize if it jumps to present tense in a couple of places. I kept going back to it, and I tried to fix it all, but some things might have slipped through. Thank you all for sticking with me, and please let me know what you think!

It was a testament to the life she had lived that for the next two weeks, Kuvira was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, because in her experience, things could not possibly go so well for so long. Suyin had kept her word and her distance, though Kuvira knew it pained her. She did not push for anything, did not even attempt to discuss pushing anything. She never once brought up Kya and Lin's offer, never once tried to pry Kuvira for which way she was leaning, never once tried to hurry the decision. She just let Kuvira go about her daily business, and things seemed to return to normal. Or as normal as they could ever be in the Beifong household. As the days closed in on Kuvira's second check in with Lin and Korra, she finally began to let herself believe that this might actually work.

With her routine finally settled, Kuvira felt ready to move forward. Maybe.

And she had still not figured it out when the airship from Republic City docked and Lin and Korra and surprisingly Kya disembarked. There were hugs from Korra and Kya, and a firm handshake from Lin. Questions about how she was doing, an almost impromptu medical exam from Kya until Lin gruffly reminded her that could wait until later, for which Kuvira was very thankful.

"Let's move this to the parlor," Suyin said casually, keeping a close eye on Kuvira as Kya reluctantly backed off. She led the women into the parlor, sitting an appropriate distance away from Kuvira, looking only mildly disappointed when Korra was the one to take the seat next to Kuvira, giving her a reassuring smile because they all knew where this conversation was about to go. Then tension had been present as soon as they got off the airship.

Lin was the one who barreled into it. "All right. First thing's first. Kya and I are going to look at houses this week, and we need to know, Kuvira, if you're going to live with us."

"Lin, can't this wait?" Suyin asked, a hint of desperation in her voice. "Don't push her on this."

"We need to know if we should get a two bedroom or a three bedroom," Lin said irritably.

"What could you possibly need a three bedroom for?" Suyin snapped while Kuvira tried not to flinch. Suyin and Lin had worked so hard to reconcile, and now she was causing them more conflict. "How many people are you planning on entertaining?"

"What? I have friends." Lin scowled as Suyin let out a snort.

"Oh, please. Who?"

"Korra. And Asami. And Mako." Lin counted them off on her fingers, shoulders set proudly as if these names were more impressive than any feat of bending she had ever done, than any heroics she had performed. "And Tenzin and Pema. And Saikhan! And Izumi."

Suyin just rolled her eyes. "Right, because you're definitely going to be having sleepovers with the Firelord. If Izumi visits Zaofu, she'll stay here with me. Because she's a visiting dignitary. And Tenzin still has two kids at home, so even a three bedroom wouldn't be enough for them. And Mako's just as bad as you are about work, so he'll probably only visit once or twice a year. And Korra here has a horde of children, so they'll have to stay here anyway. And Saikhan is a work friend. Have you ever had him over to your place?"

"Shut the hell up, Su," Lin growled. Kuvira looked over at Kya, hoping she would play mediator. She caught Kuvira's eye and sighed, putting a hand on her wife's shoulder.

"Lin, we'll get a three bedroom. Just in case all your friends decide to visit." She pressed her lips to Lin's cheek, which succeeded in calming Lin. Kya then turned her attention to Suyin. "And you, Su, need to stop lashing out at everyone just because you're frustrated."

"Haha, is it getting tense in here, or is it just me?" Korra said, attempting a joke. It fell flat as all three older women glared at her. "Whoa, just trying to lighten the mood. All this negativity is not good for Kuvira."

Blinking, now that the attention was on her, Kuvira said, "Korra, it's fine. I don't want to cause any more trouble."

"Oh, Kuvira, honey," Kya said, "you're not causing any trouble. We just want to know what you're thinking. What you want to do."

"I um…I still don't know."

Kya gave her a smile. "That's all right. You take as much time as you need."

Feeling a little claustrophobic, Kuvira stood. "I would like to just get some air for a bit. I'm all right," she said quickly as both Korra and Suyin made to follow her. "No panic attacks, I promise. I just… you four should talk about whatever it is you need to talk about. I'll be outside." With a nod to Lin and Kya, she left, heading out to one of the compound's many courtyards. There, she found a pond to sit by, relishing the quiet away from all the people making decisions about her life.

She knew she should be present for those talks. It was one of the things she had insisted on with Suyin. To always be included. But right now, it was just too overwhelming. And she felt so lost. Whatever decisions they made about her, she would go along with. All they would be talking about was how well she was progressing, how her mental and physical health was. There would be her evaluation. The examinations that Kya and Korra would have to do later. Those, she did not look forward to. Kya and Korra both did their best not to be too intrusive, but the exams and evaluations always made Kuvira feel like even her barest minimum of personal privacy had been stripped away. She had to lay herself bare before them, both figuratively and literally.

She sighed and rested her head on her knees.

"Kuvira?" Suyin stood a few feet away from her, tentative, brows tipped in concern. "Are you all right?"

Kuvira hesitated a moment. "Yes." More or less. As good as she could be under such circumstances.

Suyin made no attempt to come closer. "Is it okay that I came out here? Should I leave?"

Kuvira closed her eyes, thinking. She had missed Suyin so much the last few weeks. Missed their closeness, their bond. Missed the casual touches, the hugs and the physical comfort Suyin always seemed ready to provide. Even though she had been the one to ask for space, it still hurt her to keep away from Suyin. And maybe they were making progress. Maybe Suyin's ability to keep her distance meant that this could actually work if they tried hard enough.

"Stay." She looked down at the spot next her and tilted her head. "Will you sit with me?"

"Of course." Suyin lowered herself down, more slowly than she would have ten years earlier. She was growing older, and suddenly, that struck fear deep in Kuvira. Suyin was mortal, no matter how brightly she burned. Trying to rid herself of the urge to reach over and take Suyin's hand, Kuvira folded her own hands in her lap.

"Why are you angry with Lin?" she asked, attempting to sound casual.

Suyin sighed deeply. "She keeps asking me if you've made up your mind yet. She wants me to get a straight answer from you, and she's irritated that I won't push you. She means well, I know, but she has the delicacy of a charging rhino-bull."

"I don't want to make things harder," Kuvira whispered. She glanced over at Suyin, and knew then that she could no longer hold back her feelings for the other woman. They were not going to go away, and she would never be happy if she just ignored them. "Su?"

"Yes?"

"I've done a lot of thinking the last couple of weeks," she began, praying that her courage held out on her. "And I…well, I think that I should move in with Kya and Lin."

"Ah." It was almost a gasp, a little pain-filled sound that she clearly tried to curtail.

Kuvira bit her lip. "Is that….is that what you want?"

"Oh, Kuvira, I want you to make the decision that you think is best for you. Not what I think is best for me."

"I don't know if I'm doing the right thing," Kuvira admitted. "But I do know that…I'm sure now, that I want to try to be with you." She waited for several moments as Suyin absorbed that information. The older woman stared at her, eyes wide and hopeful. She looked truly beautiful, and Kuvira felt desire flare in the pit of her stomach. And suddenly, she had never been surer about anything. Whatever complications, whatever hardships, they would figure things out. They would make this work.

"Really?" Suyin looked so incredibly hopeful, looked years younger in that moment, and Kuvira felt her heart constrict pleasantly.

Nodding, Kuvira reached over to take her hand. "Yes. I want to stress, though, Su, that I need this to go slowly," she said, hoping that Suyin would take this seriously. "This has to go at my pace."

Suyin nodded emphatically. "Of course. Oh, Kuvira, this makes me so happy." Suddenly, she frowned, the creases around her eyes and mouth deepening. "You are doing this because you want to, right? Not for me."

"I'm doing this because I have feelings for you that I can't ignore any longer."

"I know that you're concerned about Baatar and, well, sharing, and I know that's not going to just be easy for you, but I do promise we will do everything we can to make it less…difficult." Suyin could not keep the smile off her face, and she looked so breathtakingly beautiful, like the sun and the moon and the stars all rolled into one. Every wrinkle, every worry line, every blemish was precious to Kuvira, and she wanted to kiss each line. However, she knew she was no-where near ready for that. This had to be done so very carefully, with every precaution in mind. Like a painstakingly laid out battle plan. She supposed that she should not compare romance to battle, but war and fighting were some of the few things she understood intricately. Everything else was a mystery to her, hard to grasp. Romance was like some vague notion that other people took to naturally while Kuvira tried to pick it apart and make sense of it in some sort of logical way.

"We have to do this properly," Kuvira said slowly. "With…dates and boundaries. Just because we've known each other for so long doesn't mean we can skip steps. And nothing happens until I move in with Kya and Lin, however long that may be."

Suyin watched her with unveiled amusement. "All right. By the book."

"You're laughing."

"I'm not laughing. I just think it's…cute that you want a plan for all this."

"I need a plan, Su. That's how I operate." She also was not sure she liked the idea of being cute. Fierce, strong, intense, those were all things she could accept about herself. But there was just something so…alien about cute. Something she had never associated with herself.

Suyin nodded, still clearly thinking this was also cute. "I know, love, but a relationship isn't always going to adhere to your plan."

Kuvira certainly knew that. If that were true, then she never would have developed these feelings in the first place. She would just be happy here as a guest, as part of the family, happy with a fresh start. She never would have indulged in these complications.

"Regardless, I move out, then we …date. Or whatever."

Suyin pressed her lips together to keep from smiling, but Kuvira knew she wanted to laugh. Quickly, Suyin's discipline waivered, and her mouth turned up at the corners. "I love you."

Kuvira rubbed the back of her neck. "Yes. Well."

"Don't ever feel pressured into saying anything back to that. It's just something I want to remind you of whenever I can. I never…I never said it enough before, I realize that now." Suyin frowned. "Does it make you uncomfortable?"

"No. Not really. I just don't know what to say to it."

"What did you say to Jr. when he said it to you?"

"Honestly? Nothing usually. Or something about his good qualities. I diverted." It rubbed something deep an uncomfortable inside her to have Baatar Jr. and Suyin linked in her mind this way. Romantic endeavors with them both. It made her feel exceptionally dirty when she thought about it for too long. Logically, she knew that she was not doing anything wrong. She was following her heart now, and with Baatar Jr. she had…she had been looking for acceptance and support. Which were both things she got from Suyin now. The fact that they were mother and son was unfortunate, but not anything Kuvira could change. She just wished there was a better way of dealing with it all.

"Kuvira, I don't want you to lie about or hide your feelings towards me. Or lack of feelings. If you get to the point where you don't think this is going to go anywhere for you, I want you to tell me. I don't want you to feel trapped." She scooted closer and touched Kuvira's cheek. "Your comfort if the most important thing to me."

Kuvira felt the words stuck in her throat. Three words she knew she could not say yet, that she was not ready to say, but they would have been so very easy to say. She thought of how Suyin would smile, of how her face would light up, of how happy she would be, and Kuvira almost let the words come out. But she managed to swallow them in time. No need to be reckless and rash just because she felt slightly grounded momentarily. Instead, she focused back on Suyin.

"What changed?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" Suyin cocked her head, brows furrowed. She absently pushed her hair behind her ear, and Kuvira was starting to be annoyed at how attractive she found Suyin. It had been growing steadily, and it was not something she knew how to deal with. She's felt some desire for Baatar Jr. What she had thought was a typical amount. But looking back, she knew it wasn't much. Before, she had never understood why couples had trouble keeping their hands off each other. Even Kya and Lin succumbed to those urges, making out like teenagers when they thought no one could see them. Suyin also seemed to be an exceptionally sexual person, and the entirety of Republic City had been abuzz with rumors of the Avatar and Asami Sato getting caught in the back of a car. Kuvira was pretty sure Lin had pulled some strings to keep that from blowing up. It seemed everyone around her had intense attractions to other people, and Kuvira had never felt that.

Not until now. Not until Suyin. She knew herself well enough to know that this attraction to Suyin was growing with her emotional attachment. The more she felt for Suyin, the more she desired Suyin and only Suyin. She could look at other people and see how they would be attractive, but she only felt it herself if she was emotionally invested in the other person.

And she was all in with Suyin.

"I'm ready to try this because you gave me the space I asked for." Space that had given her time to realize that yes, she did really want this and that she was not just mirroring Suyin's emotions. "But before, you pushed me. What changed?"

Suyin did not answer immediately. She looked out over the pond, her hand fidgeting with her pants. "I realized, after you pointed out how…suffocating I was being, that I was going to lose you. And I knew that I would rather suffer through a few weeks or even months or however long you needed, than push you away forever. I just thought…I knew I had to back off if I wanted a chance at this." She turned to face Kuvira, her eyes soft and genuine. "I love you, and I want to show it the right way. I want you to be comfortable."

"Thank you."

Suyin shook her head, looking pained. "No. You shouldn't be thanking me. I should have done that from the beginning, Kuvira. It's the bare minimum of what a partner should do. And I messed that up."

Kuvira didn't know what to say to that. It was true, but they were both moving past it. Suyin was trying her best, and the results were enough to put Kuvira t ease. So she leaned into Suyin, resting her head on the older woman's shoulder. After a moment, Suyin slid her arm around Kuvira's shoulders, and pressed her lips to Kuvira's hair.

"I don't know how I'm going to tell Kaori I'm moving," Kuvira finally said. "She'll be devastated."

Next to her, Suyin stiffened. "I wish I could say you're wrong. But she will be."

"I wish there was some way to explain this to her."

"We can say that you think it will be best for you to live with Kya close by." Suyin took a small breath, not quite a gasp. "All right, I think I know what to say."

"What?"

"Well, it's no secret that you have…nightmares. And panic attacks." Suyin barreled on as Kuvira's face flushed. "Kaori knows that. And Kya is a healer. She's your healer. She's the person, besides Korra, who is most familiar with all of your…conditions. It would make sense for you to move in with her to be closer at night. In case you have any problems."

Kuvira considered it for a moment. It made sense, and it was a more than plausible excuse. "I could play up my nightmares in the next few weeks," she said softly. "Make it seem like I really need this."

"I don't want you to do anything that might actually hurt you," Suyin insisted. "You don't need to put yourself at risk. We'll be able to convince her without that."

"But what about Huan?" Kuvira looked up at Suyin. "He'll need more evidence. He'll be suspicious."

"Don't worry about Huan. I'll take care of him." Suyin caressed her cheek. "It's going to be all right. I promise."

"You can't promise that," Kuvira said quietly.

"No. I can't. But I don't want you to worry about my children."

"This could ruin your relationship with them."

"Or it could not. We don't know. And speculation won't help. I know you like plans, but this might just have to be figured out as we go along."

Kuvira groaned. "I don't like that."

"I know. But that seems to be the only option." Suyin cupped her face, gently, tenderly, and Kuvira was afraid she would lean in for the kiss. But she didn't. At least not on the lips. Suyin did press a kiss to Kuvira's forehead. "Right now, though, I think we should go back inside. Korra and Kya want to go ahead and get your evaluations out of the way so that we can all enjoy this visit." She used Kuvira's shoulder to leverage herself up, then offered a hand, which Kuvira took. She brushed the dirt and grass from her pants and then followed Suyin back inside.

Once there, Korra and Kya took Kuvira back to her rooms where they evaluated her mental and physical health. They both expressed their pleasure at the muscle she had put on, even if Kuvira did not find it very impressive.

"It takes time," Korra told her. "Your body has had ten years of sitting around for the most part, with meals that weren't meant to keep up your energy and help you keep on weight. It's just going to take a while. You're doing really well." She smiled reassuringly, and Kya nodded her agreement.

"You're aura is much better than the last time I saw you," Kya said. "And your spiritual energy is…freer. Don't you agree, Korra?"

"Absolutely. I know you're going through a lot, but you really are making a lot of progress. Okay, I'm going to go confer with Lin. We'll be in the parlor when you're ready." Korra gave her a quick wave and bounced out of the room, leaving Kuvira alone with Kya.

"Anything you want to talk about without Korra here?" Kya asked her. "Anything you were worried about for your evaluation?"

"No. I don't keep secrets from Korra."

"That's the best policy."

"I have made a decision, though, about your offer to live with you and Lin."

Kya raised a brow. "I kind of figured that's what you and Suyin were talking about for so long."

"I'm going to do it. We're telling people that it's so I can be closer to you if I have any panic attacks or nightmares."

"That's a good cover." Kya looked around the room. "I suppose you won't need much storage space."

"No. I travel light these days."

"Me, too." The older woman grinned. "You'd never know it, but Lin is the one with the extensive wardrobe. Oh, it's almost impossible to get her to wear anything besides her drab training outfit, but she has a weakness for coats. She has dozens over them. And all these incredible outfits that she never wears. It's so strange. She's the one who takes up all the closet space, not me."

Kuvira smiled. Kya always had a way of easing her anxiety. "I imagine Su has a similarly large closet."

"Oh, definitely. You two seem to have found a good balance."

"We're working on it."

"When you have panic attacks, she's able to help you through them?"

"Yes. She's been really good about that." Kuvira had undressed to let Kya and Korra examine her, and now she walked over to her own small closet to put on a plain tunic and loose pants. "I've had a few since being here, but none in the last few weeks. Things have calmed down."

"I feel bad about asking you to move, then."

"It's my decision. And I'm ready. I want…" She glanced back at Kya. They were not friends the way she was friends with Korra. But Kya had always been someone who made Kuvira feel like anything she said would stay between them. Kya made her feel like she wouldn't be judged. "I look at you and Lin and how happy you are, and Korra and Asami. And I just…it scares me, but I want that. With Su. Even though there are a million reasons why I shouldn't."

Kya regarded her seriously. "Love is complicated, Kuvira." She reached up to touch the choker around her neck. "I loved Lin when we were younger, but she wasn't…ready. She chose Tenzin, and I let her do what she thought was best for her. I moved away, and I hoped they would be happy. I got married, and I loved my wife, and I was completely devastated when she died. I still miss her, and it still hurts. But it doesn't mean I love Lin any less. And loving Lin doesn't mean I didn't love my first wife. There are always reasons not to put yourself out there. And it's always easy to listen to those reasons. But if I'd listened to my doubts, I would never have met Anak. The years I spent with her…I would never trade them." She looked down and smiled. "And Lin is perhaps the best thing to ever happen to me. She understands that missing Anak has nothing to do with her, with our relationship."

"It's not exactly the same," Kuvira murmured.

"No, it's not. But the point is the same. I know you have feelings for Su. Really strong ones. Your whole energy changes when she's around you. Your aura becomes so…beautiful. Truly. I know you're scared. There's so much that complicates the situation. But you should try to just let it happen."

"Su loves me."

"That much is obvious. To everyone, I might add. Oh, don't worry," Kya said when Kuvira's eyes widened in panic. "No one else will guess how she loves you unless they know it's a possibility. It seems like she's on her best behavior."

"I love her, too." The words were quiet, timid, and it was the first time she had said them and meant them in something other than a platonic way.

Kya's face was full of understanding. "I know."

"I'm not ready to tell her yet."

"You will tell her in your own time. There's no rush." Kya gently pulled her into a hug, and Kuvira let it happen.

"I don't know…I still don't know if I can handle…"

"Baatar."

"Yes."

"That's something you're going to have to work through on your own," Kya said, pulling back to look at Kuvira. "I can't make it so that you're just magically okay with this. But I think that the fact that you are willing to take steps to take your relationship with Su farther means that you're on your way to learning how to deal with it."

"Baatar is really wonderful. I don't want to…I'm worried about ruining their marriage."

"I don't that's going to happen," Kya told her. "I've known Su her whole life, and she is a mess. Both the Beifong sisters are. But she knows what she's doing in her marriage. And Baatar knows what he signed up for with her. Has he said anything to make you doubt that?"

"No. The opposite, actually."

"You've talked to Su about this?"

"We have. Before. Not…recently. We haven't really talked about our relationship the last few weeks. We've been trying to keep our distance."

Kya squeezed her shoulder. "Honesty, Kuvira. The relationship you're wanting to embark on can only work if you're honest with Su, and with Baatar. You have to let them know when something is bothering you."

"I know. I do."

There was a knock on the door, and Kuvira opened it to reveal Suyin.

"Korra said you were finished here. I wouldn't have interrupted but dinner is ready."

"Oh, good, I'm starving. Remember what I said." She tipped her head to Kuvira before slipping out past Suyin.

"How did it go?" Suyin asked once they were alone.

"Well, I think. They both think I'm doing well. They say I seem happier." Kuvira let her mouth quirk. "Kya says my aura is softening. I don't know how to feel about that."

Suyin laughed, her eyes crinkling at the corners. "That's good news. I gave Lin a good report, so I don't think there's anything for you to worry about."

"I told Kya I would move in with them."

Suyin nodded, her smile fading. "I don't think they're planning on moving for a month or so. There are things Lin has to take care of in Republic City. She's lived there her whole life. I don't know how well she's going to adjust to the quiet life."

"Two months." Kuvira knew that she was the one to ask for space and structure and rules, but two months to wait for a date, a kiss. It suddenly seemed like a very long time. Especially when she would spend that time still living under Suyin's roof, still sparing with her and eating meals with her and staying up late talking with her. It was a long time to try and keep anything from happening. "Su…"

"I know. Hands to myself."

"I just don't want to mess anything up. It's just until Lin and Kya move. We've been all right so far. It's not that much longer."

"It feels like a long time." Suyin stepped closer, and Kuvira found herself captivated.

"Su..."

"If you tell me to stop, I will." Suyin reached out to frame Kuvira's face with her hands. "If you don't want this, tell me."

Kuvira hesitated. She wanted it. She wanted Suyin. She wanted to feel what it was to kiss someone she loved. But she was also aware that it could have detrimental consequences in their current situation. She should say no. Tell Suyin to stop. She should pull away. But she couldn't. What she could do was tilt her head up, towards Suyin and give her a small nod. Permission.

When Suyin kissed her, it was so soft, so gentle, so brief. It might have been the most incredible thing Kuvira had ever felt, and she wanted to surge up into Suyin for more, a fire stoking inside her that she had not felt before. She could resist this urge, though. So she kissed Suyin once more, just a little longer this time, then pulled away. Suyin's eyed stayed closed for a moment. Without opening them, she leaned her head down to rest their foreheads together.

"I love you, Kuvira," she breathed, letting her eyes flutter open. Her pupils were dilated and clouded. Her brows furrowed, and her eyes passed over Kuvira's face with concern. "Are you all right? Spirits, I shouldn't have-"

"I'm all right." She gave Suyin a small smile. "I wanted it. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I pushed you."

"No. I didn't stop you. I didn't want to stop you. Maybe I should have, but it was my choice." And because she was weak, because she loved Suyin, because they had kissed and the world wasn't crumbling, she lifted her chin to kiss Suyin again with more confidence than she feels. Suyin was only the second person she had ever kissed, and it had been ten years. But Suyin seemed pleased by her efforts.

"Dinner," Suyin said, breaking away. "They'll wonder where we are."

"Yes. Is Baatar-"

"He'll be all right with this. And yes, I'm going to tell him. I tell him everything."

"I don't want to hurt him."

"I know. And this won't." Suyin pushed Kuvira's hair behind her ear. "He'll be pleased."

"Su, we can't do anything else. Not until I move out."

"I know, love. But right now, let's just go enjoy dinner. We can talk about this later tonight." She bowed her head. "Are you really all right? Is this going to screw things up?"

"I'm all right, I promise." She took Suyin's hand. "I promise."

"Okay." Suyin bumped their noses together, the led Kuvira to dinner, holding her hand until they reached the dining room. Reluctantly. Suyin let go when they rounded the corner before going in. Kuvira straightened her clothes and made sure that her hair was all in place. No one seemed to notice anything was different. No sign on her forehead that said 'I kissed Suyin Beifong, and I liked it.' Kya did give her a sly smile, but other than that, the rest of the dinner attendants just gave them casual acknowledgements before returning to their individual conversations.

And Kuvira thought that maybe, just maybe, this really could work.